Class Of February 2012
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sober Recovery
Posts: 233
Onto day 8. I finally had some good sleep last night after waking up in the morning and then working out last night. Welcome to all of the newcomers. I can not believe it has already been a week.
BoozeFree, the important thing is that you are here and are trying. It is a day at a time thing and not a long term pressure. If you start to get caught up in the idea of never drinking again you may discourage yourself, rather think about not drinking today. We have all messed up over and over, so you are not alone in this. Keep trying and stay strong.
BoozeFree, the important thing is that you are here and are trying. It is a day at a time thing and not a long term pressure. If you start to get caught up in the idea of never drinking again you may discourage yourself, rather think about not drinking today. We have all messed up over and over, so you are not alone in this. Keep trying and stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Day 2. Grateful for SR. The support here is awesome. I said sorry to the people I was mean to but didn't use I was drunk as an excuse bc it's really not. I had chosen to drink last weekend and today I will not drink.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Well, I guess I am going to commit myself to joining this club today. Day 1 for me today. I had been sober for some months in 2010-2011, and have gradually lapsed into bad habits with drinking too much wine most evenings.
So, here I go again. I know I have liver disease from drinking and diabetes and being overweight. I really must not drink. Somehow I lost sight of that after I lost weight and had some great checkups.
I need to stay healthy for my kids. I hope I can really do this.
rochele
So, here I go again. I know I have liver disease from drinking and diabetes and being overweight. I really must not drink. Somehow I lost sight of that after I lost weight and had some great checkups.
I need to stay healthy for my kids. I hope I can really do this.
rochele
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wyandotte, MI
Posts: 71
writing a gratitude list daily, is like journaling what you are grateful for everyday, waking up without a hangover, having a job, keeping a place over my head, having SR as a tool to help me stay sober, ect... it helps to create a positive attitude towards your day (life). xoxo
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Drinking actually prolongs the pain, at least in my experience Cracked...drinking kept me in a holding pattern - and everytime I sobered up the pain return so I needed more alcohol.
It's a really vicious cycle.
D
It's a really vicious cycle.
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 149
Boozefree, welcome back & good for you for being honest!
Germanos - Day 8?! Good for you! I took a cue from you and started working out today! Still haven't looked into the climbing, but baby steps seems to be my motto lately anyway...hehheh
Bounced & Rachele - HI WELCOME!
Cracked - I'm so sorry about your cat. That must be an awful thing to hear her go through. You must love her very much.
Ahab - what you wrote really really hit home. I feel the same exact way. How old are the kids? Mine are 5 & 2.
Dee - I love your advice, it's always spot on.
Rypen - I have no clue what I would do without SR. When I can't get to a meeting or anytime Im feeling anxious or whatnot, I come here and instantly feel better.
I feel like a rockstar today, woke up happy and guess what? I can see my eyelids! They arnt this puffy greasy mess they were 5 days ago!!! Let me get a woot woot! I even worked out this afternoon (thanks for the inspiration Germanos!) even though I probably won't be able to walk tomorrow, i...don't...care! I feel great!
Work sucks, but I'm also trying to better myself in that department as well. I never finished highschool because I was too busy partying & playing hooky. I wound up getting kicked out for never going (hum. does that even make sense?) & never finished up. I actually wound up getting a pretty good job (they have NO clue I didn't finish) but I hate it, and the people are killing me. I'm in finance, and I HATE with a passion anything to do with numbers, so I guess I'm in the wrong field (uh, duh) so i'm attempting to get my GED soon, and go back to school and get into another profession, something that I have even an ounce of compassion in would be nice. Anyway, bosslady is in a bad mood today, I think she burned her sandwich in the toaster oven, which is the kind of thing that sends her into a tizzy.
Keep Truck'n!
Germanos - Day 8?! Good for you! I took a cue from you and started working out today! Still haven't looked into the climbing, but baby steps seems to be my motto lately anyway...hehheh
Bounced & Rachele - HI WELCOME!
Cracked - I'm so sorry about your cat. That must be an awful thing to hear her go through. You must love her very much.
Ahab - what you wrote really really hit home. I feel the same exact way. How old are the kids? Mine are 5 & 2.
Dee - I love your advice, it's always spot on.
Rypen - I have no clue what I would do without SR. When I can't get to a meeting or anytime Im feeling anxious or whatnot, I come here and instantly feel better.
I feel like a rockstar today, woke up happy and guess what? I can see my eyelids! They arnt this puffy greasy mess they were 5 days ago!!! Let me get a woot woot! I even worked out this afternoon (thanks for the inspiration Germanos!) even though I probably won't be able to walk tomorrow, i...don't...care! I feel great!
Work sucks, but I'm also trying to better myself in that department as well. I never finished highschool because I was too busy partying & playing hooky. I wound up getting kicked out for never going (hum. does that even make sense?) & never finished up. I actually wound up getting a pretty good job (they have NO clue I didn't finish) but I hate it, and the people are killing me. I'm in finance, and I HATE with a passion anything to do with numbers, so I guess I'm in the wrong field (uh, duh) so i'm attempting to get my GED soon, and go back to school and get into another profession, something that I have even an ounce of compassion in would be nice. Anyway, bosslady is in a bad mood today, I think she burned her sandwich in the toaster oven, which is the kind of thing that sends her into a tizzy.
Keep Truck'n!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wyandotte, MI
Posts: 71
I also, have to argue with myself about having 1 or 2 drinks it is exhausinting, I always feel better when I white knuckle it through. I am hoping that working the 12 steps takes that away. It is such a battle, I have resorted to screaming back at that thought with "I NEVER DRINK", I work in a restaurant that makes drinks look so yummy and people gather to have a few, maybe a nice bottle of wine and some good food. This sooo tempts me. My alcoholic mind says a couple glasses of wine, would be sooo nice, then before you know it I am up going to go get beer as soon as I get up and drinking a few before I head of to work, because I can't not stand a hangover, and now I am sick for 2 to 3 day binge, and ttired and detoxing for the next 3 to 4 days. Yuck, so here I am on day 6 of sobriety, going to stay sober today. God's will
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Austin, TX from Philly, PA
Posts: 141
Originally Posted by Ahab
Well It's Day 4 for me, and I have to say I feel much better today then the last 3. Dare I say, I'm starting to feel optimistic about the future, and that's a wonderful feeling.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 134
Day 5.
Last night was really hard, I didn't get to sleep until around 6 am (thank god I didn't work this morning) so I got around 2.5 hours of sleep. It was soooo tempting to just go get a glass of wine or mix one drink, but I didn't.
I'm having all these ridiculous issues w/state taxes about an inheritance from 2007 (that was also quickly lost in a bad investment, and i once I realized that I just wasted the rest left on well, just nonsense like ridiculously priced clothing, insane amounts of drugs/alcohol. Responsibility fail.) and that's a MESS. I mean it was one thing when the investment/stock losses happened but now that?! I have to go see a CPA (how i can owe on money that was mainly lost in the stock market I'm not even sure of) and then to top THAT off, I just got a letter from the college I go to saying I have to pay back my pell grant b/c i had to take a medical leave last semester. FML. I know I was going to owe them something, but didn't the whole award to get taken. Not exactly helping my anxiety levels.
I have some time to figure it out, and I will. It just pushes back leaving my parents house which is somewhat soul crushing, but if I had managed my money better I'd have it upfront to pay this, and if I hadn't gotten myself so ill I wouldn't have had to withdraw (the college even thought b/c it was due to medical reasons I wouldn't be that penalized. ha). I know I'll have that taken care of by next semester so at least it's not affecting my classes now.
Ugghh, enough whining. Anyhow while looking through the forum, I found a tattoo thread and I reminded me of how much I want more ink (i have this totally only halfway done stars. I have a lot more work to do on it, and while I have to wait to spend it (or travel to get it done b/c i learned the hard way to be careful where you go) but also I want to incorporate the quote in my sig into it.
http://i.imgur.com/oX6Dj.jpg
There's what my friend fondly named, my little pony stars gone wild. I have a few others, and the first time I quit h i got a tat of an ovid quote (in latin, be patient and be strong some day this pain will be useful to you). I'm nearly a year off of that at least--just a couple weeks to go. 8 months for coke.
I am about to go on at length once again!
Ahab- Yea!! Thanks about the quote. My father drank a good deal when I was younger, but stopped. He had one heck of a violent temper, half the reason it's such a kick in the teeth to be back here. He's quite different, but just...yeah. I have a lot of trouble expressing anger (which obviously just came out in bad ways when drunk, not violent, but i know words can hurt the most and i could say some pretty horrible things...) and I think that is tied into it. Your reasons to really keep on trying are the best, or at least equal to doing it for yourself, around.
LindseyMarie- Eyelids FTW! It's always nice to be able to take better note of my green eyes when they're not also bloodshot! I also TOTALLY get the being so stoked about the lack of shaky hands, the last time I went to get them done i had to go get 2 drinks b/c i was shaking. Next time that will NOT be the case.
Heck yes to a good work out! When I was going through the last set of my intervals i kept on saying, this is a million times over and then some kind of pain then the hangovers I lived with (really at the end, i don't think i even really felt "hungover" b/c i just always felt sick...)
That says the obvious skills you have to get a job in the field you do, regardless of the diploma. Heck I can't get much of anything above minimum wage as of late and I'm in college.
lifewithout- NO doubt. It's why I hate my hours having been cut back at work, but I'm trying to get into the animal shelter more often and hitting the gym. For about a year I wasn't even working--my life revolved around my boyfriend and as great as he usually treated me...that was the worst thing for my sanity. This fall I got really quite ill, and that also threw a massive wrench in my life. It was beyond stupid (paying for it dearly) to keep drinking when drinking caused at least part of my health problems, but not being in class/working I fell apart.
I hope you're anxiety continues to decrease!
BoozeFree- God do I know that feeling, sure most of us surely do. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around how to process the hurt I caused people, at the end I got to be REALLY horrid to my mother b/c she was taking it away from me while I was asleep and i'd go for it when i came home loaded...badness. That and my ex's (how a few of them and I salvaged a friendship idk, though i think i burned a bridge not too long ago with one) were the only one's who really got the evil side I so hate of myself.
Just keep on keeping on, it's all we can do. I really can't suggest my method here, but looking through when i was trying to condense my inbox, i found a particularly just horrid email I sent my then boyfriend. Yeah I saved it to word and sometimes when I want to drink, i read it. Not healthy I suppose, but it reminds me exactly WHY i have to stop.
rochele, bounced- Welcome!!
cracked- Others had some great advice, and my heart goes out to you. I am such an animal lover, and my pets ARE family. I also am trying to start to figure out how to go about developing the concept of coping skills, I missed that life lesson a ways back.
faustina- I know, never ending draining battle. It's looking like I'll need to add in some PT serving work again, it's SO hard though. Add in that so much drinking goes on after (well when i was working in bars it was also before/during...yeah) it's hard. I'm not exactly looking forward to that battle--hopefully by the time I find something I'll be in a better/stronger place. Totally inspired at your outlook!
Germanos- Awesome!!! Double bonus for some quality rest!
Dee74- You're a godsend in this place, thanks for the link and the wise words I always see coming from you.
Last night was really hard, I didn't get to sleep until around 6 am (thank god I didn't work this morning) so I got around 2.5 hours of sleep. It was soooo tempting to just go get a glass of wine or mix one drink, but I didn't.
I'm having all these ridiculous issues w/state taxes about an inheritance from 2007 (that was also quickly lost in a bad investment, and i once I realized that I just wasted the rest left on well, just nonsense like ridiculously priced clothing, insane amounts of drugs/alcohol. Responsibility fail.) and that's a MESS. I mean it was one thing when the investment/stock losses happened but now that?! I have to go see a CPA (how i can owe on money that was mainly lost in the stock market I'm not even sure of) and then to top THAT off, I just got a letter from the college I go to saying I have to pay back my pell grant b/c i had to take a medical leave last semester. FML. I know I was going to owe them something, but didn't the whole award to get taken. Not exactly helping my anxiety levels.
I have some time to figure it out, and I will. It just pushes back leaving my parents house which is somewhat soul crushing, but if I had managed my money better I'd have it upfront to pay this, and if I hadn't gotten myself so ill I wouldn't have had to withdraw (the college even thought b/c it was due to medical reasons I wouldn't be that penalized. ha). I know I'll have that taken care of by next semester so at least it's not affecting my classes now.
Ugghh, enough whining. Anyhow while looking through the forum, I found a tattoo thread and I reminded me of how much I want more ink (i have this totally only halfway done stars. I have a lot more work to do on it, and while I have to wait to spend it (or travel to get it done b/c i learned the hard way to be careful where you go) but also I want to incorporate the quote in my sig into it.
http://i.imgur.com/oX6Dj.jpg
There's what my friend fondly named, my little pony stars gone wild. I have a few others, and the first time I quit h i got a tat of an ovid quote (in latin, be patient and be strong some day this pain will be useful to you). I'm nearly a year off of that at least--just a couple weeks to go. 8 months for coke.
I am about to go on at length once again!
Ahab- Yea!! Thanks about the quote. My father drank a good deal when I was younger, but stopped. He had one heck of a violent temper, half the reason it's such a kick in the teeth to be back here. He's quite different, but just...yeah. I have a lot of trouble expressing anger (which obviously just came out in bad ways when drunk, not violent, but i know words can hurt the most and i could say some pretty horrible things...) and I think that is tied into it. Your reasons to really keep on trying are the best, or at least equal to doing it for yourself, around.
LindseyMarie- Eyelids FTW! It's always nice to be able to take better note of my green eyes when they're not also bloodshot! I also TOTALLY get the being so stoked about the lack of shaky hands, the last time I went to get them done i had to go get 2 drinks b/c i was shaking. Next time that will NOT be the case.
Heck yes to a good work out! When I was going through the last set of my intervals i kept on saying, this is a million times over and then some kind of pain then the hangovers I lived with (really at the end, i don't think i even really felt "hungover" b/c i just always felt sick...)
That says the obvious skills you have to get a job in the field you do, regardless of the diploma. Heck I can't get much of anything above minimum wage as of late and I'm in college.
lifewithout- NO doubt. It's why I hate my hours having been cut back at work, but I'm trying to get into the animal shelter more often and hitting the gym. For about a year I wasn't even working--my life revolved around my boyfriend and as great as he usually treated me...that was the worst thing for my sanity. This fall I got really quite ill, and that also threw a massive wrench in my life. It was beyond stupid (paying for it dearly) to keep drinking when drinking caused at least part of my health problems, but not being in class/working I fell apart.
I hope you're anxiety continues to decrease!
BoozeFree- God do I know that feeling, sure most of us surely do. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around how to process the hurt I caused people, at the end I got to be REALLY horrid to my mother b/c she was taking it away from me while I was asleep and i'd go for it when i came home loaded...badness. That and my ex's (how a few of them and I salvaged a friendship idk, though i think i burned a bridge not too long ago with one) were the only one's who really got the evil side I so hate of myself.
Just keep on keeping on, it's all we can do. I really can't suggest my method here, but looking through when i was trying to condense my inbox, i found a particularly just horrid email I sent my then boyfriend. Yeah I saved it to word and sometimes when I want to drink, i read it. Not healthy I suppose, but it reminds me exactly WHY i have to stop.
rochele, bounced- Welcome!!
cracked- Others had some great advice, and my heart goes out to you. I am such an animal lover, and my pets ARE family. I also am trying to start to figure out how to go about developing the concept of coping skills, I missed that life lesson a ways back.
faustina- I know, never ending draining battle. It's looking like I'll need to add in some PT serving work again, it's SO hard though. Add in that so much drinking goes on after (well when i was working in bars it was also before/during...yeah) it's hard. I'm not exactly looking forward to that battle--hopefully by the time I find something I'll be in a better/stronger place. Totally inspired at your outlook!
Germanos- Awesome!!! Double bonus for some quality rest!
Dee74- You're a godsend in this place, thanks for the link and the wise words I always see coming from you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
logicalparadox
Good for you!
I always had a good reason to mix one or two or seven. Now I can't find any.
There is no reason to have a drink. Im as low as usual, but Im not looking for any excuses to have one. Im looking for something other to lift my mood.
Good for you!
I always had a good reason to mix one or two or seven. Now I can't find any.
There is no reason to have a drink. Im as low as usual, but Im not looking for any excuses to have one. Im looking for something other to lift my mood.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 38
Very greateful for this site i have gotten so much out of it already. There is always someone to talk to and people reaching out. If need be i just go into the chat room to vent! Im glad everyone is doing so well. Made it to the meeting today, they asked me to share first which was good got to spill my beans. Was walking home and was just embracing the beauty of nature and thinking of how im able to do this now made me feel good. Have alot of thoughts as to my past constantly, bad things i have done, friends ive hurt, family. I try to get out of that thinking im not at a point in my recovery where i can handle my emotions well enough to do anything about it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 35
Day 10: The weekend was a little bit rough but I made it. I was home alone a lot this weekend with my husband at work and my daughter at her friend's house. I spent it mostly cleaning and reading. Not going to the bar before the Super Bowl made me feel a little bit out of place. Like that is where I was supposed to be with my husband and friends. BUT he came home in time for the game with hot wings (YUM) and watched the game here with me alcohol free. We had a good time and I realized that I have never EVER eaten Super Bowl food before, no matter where I was when I was watching the game. I was always pounding drinks and we all know that doesn't leave much room for food. I had to laugh when I realized how much good (GREAT) food I have missed out on over the years at every holiday, etc.
Also this weekend (On Day 7) my husband suprised me with a present. He went to a local AA and got me a 24 hour chip (or "medal of sobriety" as I call it...LOL).
He asked for a 1 week chip but they don't have one so I got a 24 hour instead. It really meant a lot to me that he went and got it since I am not going to AA because I really don't agree with their methods. Anyway, it was really a really positive moment and I am looking forward to getting another one at 30 days.
The longest I have made it is 16 days last November. That was the only time I ever tried before. I too had the same feelings of "It's ok, one won't hurt". It has happened over and over in the last 6 months or so and so day 17 will be a milestone to me as much as 30 days will.
Cracked - So sorry about your kitty. I went through the same thing about a year and a half ago with a kitty with congestive heart failure. He was 12 years old and it hurt so bad to see him sick. But you are right to remember that you are much more able to care for a sick kitty when you are awake and alert. You will thank yourself later for being able to remember the time you and kitty have together.
Wow, I wrote a lot. Hope everyone is doing ok out there!
Also this weekend (On Day 7) my husband suprised me with a present. He went to a local AA and got me a 24 hour chip (or "medal of sobriety" as I call it...LOL).
He asked for a 1 week chip but they don't have one so I got a 24 hour instead. It really meant a lot to me that he went and got it since I am not going to AA because I really don't agree with their methods. Anyway, it was really a really positive moment and I am looking forward to getting another one at 30 days. The longest I have made it is 16 days last November. That was the only time I ever tried before. I too had the same feelings of "It's ok, one won't hurt". It has happened over and over in the last 6 months or so and so day 17 will be a milestone to me as much as 30 days will.
Cracked - So sorry about your kitty. I went through the same thing about a year and a half ago with a kitty with congestive heart failure. He was 12 years old and it hurt so bad to see him sick. But you are right to remember that you are much more able to care for a sick kitty when you are awake and alert. You will thank yourself later for being able to remember the time you and kitty have together.
Wow, I wrote a lot. Hope everyone is doing ok out there!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
New to the Feb 2012 group - Hello
I am only a few days new to SRC, and just signed up today for this support thread. I have made it through Day 3. It has been a STRUGGLE, but I have made it through this gauntlet of a day. I am doing the AVRT method, and I made a few posts to other forums in the Sober Recovery Community.
That helped me make it through some very intense BATTLES to stay sober and remain focused on the awareness that 'I', my Conscious, Rational, Spiritual Mind does choose to be free from taking a drink, and that the screaming bloody murder thoughts and feelings promting me to drink are the symptoms of my Flesh Nature wanting to get intoxicated and just 'feel good all over'.
I did prevail today, and it does feel good to have my rational conscious Will not be controlled by some addictive programming / bad behavioral habits that I previously let get out of control.
I am looking forward to the interaction and encouragement that I have read in some of the posts in this Support Thread.
I hate to say I expect tomorrow to be another struggle, but my boss will be out of town and that has always been a perfect set-up to drink and 'get-away-with-it'.
:help
That helped me make it through some very intense BATTLES to stay sober and remain focused on the awareness that 'I', my Conscious, Rational, Spiritual Mind does choose to be free from taking a drink, and that the screaming bloody murder thoughts and feelings promting me to drink are the symptoms of my Flesh Nature wanting to get intoxicated and just 'feel good all over'.
I did prevail today, and it does feel good to have my rational conscious Will not be controlled by some addictive programming / bad behavioral habits that I previously let get out of control.
I am looking forward to the interaction and encouragement that I have read in some of the posts in this Support Thread.
I hate to say I expect tomorrow to be another struggle, but my boss will be out of town and that has always been a perfect set-up to drink and 'get-away-with-it'.
:help
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