So depressed....help
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 207
Originally Posted by irisgardens 
Tears flowing and it is hard-want to validate your feelings. Also want to validate that our children give us a higher purpose and love that can help in so many areas-and I pray for this for you.
Please know, as said by many above...you are NOT alone and please reach out if you feel that way. Have had too much experience with that, and it is NOT healthy for you-so please make sure you stay connected here. It is really important to know that you are cared about in the midst of pain...and as you allow your body to process through the pain (in it's own time and place).
Praying for you and that you receive comfort in all the best and most unexpected ways.
Please know, as said by many above...you are NOT alone and please reach out if you feel that way. Have had too much experience with that, and it is NOT healthy for you-so please make sure you stay connected here. It is really important to know that you are cared about in the midst of pain...and as you allow your body to process through the pain (in it's own time and place).
Praying for you and that you receive comfort in all the best and most unexpected ways.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 207
Originally Posted by aasharon90
A pretty white crib with zebras and bears and a mobile
with lots of cute baby clothes and baby things sounds
sooooo wonderful.
Thank you so much for taking time to share with
us about your room and what it looks like until
you move back into your apt.
Would you move into another apt. maybe
to start out fresh with a new beginning?
Maybe moving back into where you were
will be too much reminders.
Anyway.....
I remember when I had my 2 beautiful babies
back in 84 and 87, my son was first then his sister.
Yes, I was in my addiction but didn't think it was
as serious until I entered recovery in 1990.
I worried just like any new mom would be and
couldn't wait till they arrived out with all fingers
and toes and for the wonderful surprise if they
were a boy or girl.
Yes, I was anxious and yes I was blessed to
have 2 beautiful adorable little ones with
instincts of wanting to be the best mom I
could be to them.
I was very protective of my bundles of joy
as should be, maybe too much at times, but
overall, with me as their mom, they had
little experience of me drinking because they
were young when I entered recovery and
have remained sober as they grew and moved
on with their own lives healthy, happy and
so many wonderful gifts blessed upon them.
We never know what God has in store
for any of us, however, when we put our
faith in Him for guidance, strength, love
and care, we never have to waste a minute
of worrying.
We may not get the answers right at
that moment, but in His time, He will
take care of us.
I know, because He has heard my cries
and pleads for help a many a times in my
lifetime and has always lead me to where
I need to be and has provided me the things
needed to live a sober, healthier, happier,
grateful, blessed life I had today.
Keep your faith and more should be
revealed to you in His time.
with lots of cute baby clothes and baby things sounds
sooooo wonderful.
Thank you so much for taking time to share with
us about your room and what it looks like until
you move back into your apt.
Would you move into another apt. maybe
to start out fresh with a new beginning?
Maybe moving back into where you were
will be too much reminders.
Anyway.....
I remember when I had my 2 beautiful babies
back in 84 and 87, my son was first then his sister.
Yes, I was in my addiction but didn't think it was
as serious until I entered recovery in 1990.
I worried just like any new mom would be and
couldn't wait till they arrived out with all fingers
and toes and for the wonderful surprise if they
were a boy or girl.
Yes, I was anxious and yes I was blessed to
have 2 beautiful adorable little ones with
instincts of wanting to be the best mom I
could be to them.
I was very protective of my bundles of joy
as should be, maybe too much at times, but
overall, with me as their mom, they had
little experience of me drinking because they
were young when I entered recovery and
have remained sober as they grew and moved
on with their own lives healthy, happy and
so many wonderful gifts blessed upon them.
We never know what God has in store
for any of us, however, when we put our
faith in Him for guidance, strength, love
and care, we never have to waste a minute
of worrying.
We may not get the answers right at
that moment, but in His time, He will
take care of us.
I know, because He has heard my cries
and pleads for help a many a times in my
lifetime and has always lead me to where
I need to be and has provided me the things
needed to live a sober, healthier, happier,
grateful, blessed life I had today.
Keep your faith and more should be
revealed to you in His time.
I will have to rely on God and hope he will help me out and lead me to a better life. It feels like I've lost hope about everything in life since my AH passed away. All I have left is my faith in God. Thank you for sharing your experiences with God. I hope he will hear me out too.
God bless you and thank you for your post. It was needed 💖
Sodevastated
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Sodevastated
Yours was the saddest post I have read in a very long time. This is when faith really does test you! They say there is a reason for everything and that God works in mysterious ways. Our job is to keep the faith, never give up hoping and praying. How many times in the past have I questioned what God threw my way! How many times have I said, "if there is a God, why would He do this to me?" Well, the answer to it all is He has a plan, and His plan will play out in His own time. Nothing we can do or say can change what is already planned for us. One day you may find the answer to your question "why, God?" For now, concentrate on this wonderful new life. I know how you must hurt, but this child is a gift from God.
Prayers and strength coming your way. We are all here with you. Never feel alone again!
Hugs, Devastated
Prayers and strength coming your way. We are all here with you. Never feel alone again!
Hugs, Devastated
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 207
Originally Posted by devastated
Yours was the saddest post I have read in a very long time. This is when faith really does test you! They say there is a reason for everything and that God works in mysterious ways. Our job is to keep the faith, never give up hoping and praying. How many times in the past have I questioned what God threw my way! How many times have I said, "if there is a God, why would He do this to me?" Well, the answer to it all is He has a plan, and His plan will play out in His own time. Nothing we can do or say can change what is already planned for us. One day you may find the answer to your question "why, God?" For now, concentrate on this wonderful new life. I know how you must hurt, but this child is a gift from God.
Prayers and strength coming your way. We are all here with you. Never feel alone again!
Hugs, Devastated
Prayers and strength coming your way. We are all here with you. Never feel alone again!
Hugs, Devastated
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: San Diego
Posts: 14
Your baby will bring you joy the minute you gaze into your babies eyes. Turn to family and friends for support. Your situation is tragic and it is times like these that I turn to my faith in God. If you aren't spiritual or religious, then I suggest you surround yourself with family and close friends. You need support now, more than ever. I am praying for you.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 207
Originally Posted by sdnavyblue72
Your baby will bring you joy the minute you gaze into your babies eyes. Turn to family and friends for support. Your situation is tragic and it is times like these that I turn to my faith in God. If you aren't spiritual or religious, then I suggest you surround yourself with family and close friends. You need support now, more than ever. I am praying for you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 177
Originally Posted by Sodevastated
My husband used to say that God brought us together and then I wonder why we were parted? I really do believe God brought us together but I don't understand what the point was since we didn't get to stay together.
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Posts: 207
Originally Posted by Whitewingeddove
I think your beautiful child was the point........ I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Sodevastated......while it is normal to have the "baby blues" for a few days after the birth, it is generally mild and transient....
As a medical person, I believe that the kinds of thoughts you are having, and the difficult situation that you are experiencing is deserving of medical attention. I encourage you to tell your obstetrical doctor and ask for an immediate consult with a mental health professional.....You need in-person contact.....
Postpartum depression is something that everyone needs to be aware of as a possibility......
How are your parents behaving since the birth of the baby? How much help and attention are you receiving?
There is help,,,and, you can feel better......
Don't try to go this alone......
I am glad that you are talking with us!!!
As a medical person, I believe that the kinds of thoughts you are having, and the difficult situation that you are experiencing is deserving of medical attention. I encourage you to tell your obstetrical doctor and ask for an immediate consult with a mental health professional.....You need in-person contact.....
Postpartum depression is something that everyone needs to be aware of as a possibility......
How are your parents behaving since the birth of the baby? How much help and attention are you receiving?
There is help,,,and, you can feel better......
Don't try to go this alone......
I am glad that you are talking with us!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 207
Originally Posted by dandylion
Sodevastated......while it is normal to have the "baby blues" for a few days after the birth, it is generally mild and transient....
As a medical person, I believe that the kinds of thoughts you are having, and the difficult situation that you are experiencing is deserving of medical attention. I encourage you to tell your obstetrical doctor and ask for an immediate consult with a mental health professional.....You need in-person contact.....
Postpartum depression is something that everyone needs to be aware of as a possibility......
How are your parents behaving since the birth of the baby? How much help and attention are you receiving?
There is help,,,and, you can feel better......
Don't try to go this alone......
I am glad that you are talking with us!!!
As a medical person, I believe that the kinds of thoughts you are having, and the difficult situation that you are experiencing is deserving of medical attention. I encourage you to tell your obstetrical doctor and ask for an immediate consult with a mental health professional.....You need in-person contact.....
Postpartum depression is something that everyone needs to be aware of as a possibility......
How are your parents behaving since the birth of the baby? How much help and attention are you receiving?
There is help,,,and, you can feel better......
Don't try to go this alone......
I am glad that you are talking with us!!!
My parents are helping out as much as they can with the baby and they tell me I have to try to get myself together so I can take care of the baby, easier said than done. They are supportive but they do get angry with me at times when I cry and feel sad because they are so mad at my AH and what he did to me and the baby.
Hugs
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 328
So devastated,
You could talk to your sons pediatrician and ask him about the meds. If you need the meds, I don't think anyone could judge you if you chose to stop nursing. I had to stop breastfeeding my son around 6 wks because I could not pump and had to return to work. I felt horrible but the pediatrician assured me it was ok. The first few weeks are the most important to the baby and he got that. Many women are unable to nurse at all. My sister tried so hard to but her milk supply wasn't sufficient. And FYI - I didn't nurse my daughter and guess what? She was my healthy baby!
Jaeger
You could talk to your sons pediatrician and ask him about the meds. If you need the meds, I don't think anyone could judge you if you chose to stop nursing. I had to stop breastfeeding my son around 6 wks because I could not pump and had to return to work. I felt horrible but the pediatrician assured me it was ok. The first few weeks are the most important to the baby and he got that. Many women are unable to nurse at all. My sister tried so hard to but her milk supply wasn't sufficient. And FYI - I didn't nurse my daughter and guess what? She was my healthy baby!
Jaeger
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 207
Originally Posted by Jaeger
So devastated,
You could talk to your sons pediatrician and ask him about the meds. If you need the meds, I don't think anyone could judge you if you chose to stop nursing. I had to stop breastfeeding my son around 6 wks because I could not pump and had to return to work. I felt horrible but the pediatrician assured me it was ok. The first few weeks are the most important to the baby and he got that. Many women are unable to nurse at all. My sister tried so hard to but her milk supply wasn't sufficient. And FYI - I didn't nurse my daughter and guess what? She was my healthy baby!
Jaeger
You could talk to your sons pediatrician and ask him about the meds. If you need the meds, I don't think anyone could judge you if you chose to stop nursing. I had to stop breastfeeding my son around 6 wks because I could not pump and had to return to work. I felt horrible but the pediatrician assured me it was ok. The first few weeks are the most important to the baby and he got that. Many women are unable to nurse at all. My sister tried so hard to but her milk supply wasn't sufficient. And FYI - I didn't nurse my daughter and guess what? She was my healthy baby!
Jaeger
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Sodevestated.....you don't need a therapist to talk to in January----You need someone to talk to NOW. You need someone that you can talk with every day, in your personal life, also...like a girlfriend that can spend time with you....
In other words..you need more emotional support than it sounds like you are getting.....
I question whether your parent's house is the best place for you, right now.....you need more than just anger directed toward you.....
If I were you, I would tell your doctor that you have been thinking that you "could almost be jumping off a bridge, because living seems almost impossible to you, right now.....and, that you are going to go to the emergency room of the hospital.
Once at the hospital, you can get a mental health worker to talk to you....and, they will be in a position to arrange better, more co-ordinated helo than you are receiving, now. You might even need to be admitted for a few days.....whatever.....
You sound like you might be religious....you can also ask to see the chaplin of the hospital...or, your own minister (if you have one) could see you. Actually, if your church could get involved...they are great for helping out in situations such as yours. The ladies of the church would be perfect to embrace you, and, help you with the baby, etc.
I am taking what you say, quite seriously..and, I believe that you need to be with others who do the same, right now......
A doctor, a social worker, a minister, the ladies of the church, your girlfriends, ,,,,,these are the people that you need, right now...and, you need it on a daily basis.....
Your pediatrician needs to know that is going on with y ou, also.....
don't be afraid to be very open with how you are feeling....don't minimize anything.....
Keep posting to us, also.....
There is help....and, you will be ok. with the right kind of help.....
In other words..you need more emotional support than it sounds like you are getting.....
I question whether your parent's house is the best place for you, right now.....you need more than just anger directed toward you.....
If I were you, I would tell your doctor that you have been thinking that you "could almost be jumping off a bridge, because living seems almost impossible to you, right now.....and, that you are going to go to the emergency room of the hospital.
Once at the hospital, you can get a mental health worker to talk to you....and, they will be in a position to arrange better, more co-ordinated helo than you are receiving, now. You might even need to be admitted for a few days.....whatever.....
You sound like you might be religious....you can also ask to see the chaplin of the hospital...or, your own minister (if you have one) could see you. Actually, if your church could get involved...they are great for helping out in situations such as yours. The ladies of the church would be perfect to embrace you, and, help you with the baby, etc.
I am taking what you say, quite seriously..and, I believe that you need to be with others who do the same, right now......
A doctor, a social worker, a minister, the ladies of the church, your girlfriends, ,,,,,these are the people that you need, right now...and, you need it on a daily basis.....
Your pediatrician needs to know that is going on with y ou, also.....
don't be afraid to be very open with how you are feeling....don't minimize anything.....
Keep posting to us, also.....
There is help....and, you will be ok. with the right kind of help.....
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Sodevastated
If you feel you need anti-depressants, and you are worried about breastfeeding vs bottle feeding, think about all those people out there that have adopted children. Hmmm? They don't breast feed, do they! The child will be happy as long as he/she gets fed.
You must think of some happy thoughts now. This too shall pass.
Hugs, Devastated
You must think of some happy thoughts now. This too shall pass.
Hugs, Devastated
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 468
SoDev - Please do not hesitate to take the medication. It is available for a reason. Looking back, I think I should have been on them myself after the birth of my son. I hid my depression (somehow) and I really should not have. It was scary at times. Please do not do that or even feel ashamed. Birth is beautiful, what our bodies endure and create is so beautiful and amazing, but our hormones can also cause very bad feelings. It is all natural, you are not crazy or alone in that! Please take the medication if you truly feel it could help. Do not for one moment feel guilt if you stop breastfeeding. I did not do it as long as initially planned. I know many moms who stopped or didn't do it because it did not work for them - and they were not ashamed in the least! Find strength in the fact that your body was capable of nurturing a human being and bringing him into the world. Its amazing, and you are a strong mommy!
I think you need to be surrounded by those who understand. It would be a strong lifeline for you to have - Alanon would really be a good next step. Whenever you are ready of course.
Praying for you always!
I think you need to be surrounded by those who understand. It would be a strong lifeline for you to have - Alanon would really be a good next step. Whenever you are ready of course.
Praying for you always!
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