DAY 55 - Home Depot Dudes - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
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DAY 55 - Home Depot Dudes

Posted 02-22-2019 at 07:56 AM by LoveHateMerlot

I'm currently waiting on two things right now: test results of my breast biopsy and for the TX Real Estate Commission to process my paperwork in order to take my Real Estate Licensing exam. The biopsy results should be ready in a couple days but the commission can take up to THREE weeks to process my paperwork. So, during this transition right now, I'm refocusing my attention on this house we've purchased almost one year ago last February 26. We initially purchased it knowing it needed a lot of TLC.

So far staying sober has brought me clarity, confidence, physical strength, and peace of mind. I feel good, real good. I look better. I have lost 10 pounds. I can hold steady eye contact without cowering my head down quickly in shame. I am able to make decisions with a clear head. I don't doubt my choices that I have made. I retain information easier. My body is ready to go full speed in the mornings. I am productive. I am able to spend quality, not quantifying, time with my family. I do not experience heart palpitations every minute after 5:00 pm because I am not battling my thoughts if I should or should not run to the store and get a bottle of wine. All this greatness allows me to be a great human.

Yesterday I spent 4 hours at IKEA, in order to plan out a kitchen design remodel. I am planning, measuring and designing it all today. We plan to install the new kitchen ourselves, to save a ton of money, so that's a bit intimidating. I know we can do it, though. So far in this house I have installed a new wood laminate floor upstairs, installed a new staircase and remodeled a bathroom (my husband helped with some bathroom demo, installing new toilet, shower base, new sheetrock, and electrical).

I do a lot of these remodeling projects all by myself and I ran into several men at Home Depot who doubted me. It would make me feel so small when they did. I would instantly feel stupid and then doubt myself, even though I did it! I would end up taking my iPhone out and showing pictures, explaining all the demo work first, what power tools and bits I chose for each project until they finally believed me. I would leave out the part that I was drinking lots of bottles of beer during these projects and thankful I still have all my fingers. I don't know why I spent so much time for their approval. I won't be doing that anymore with all this self confidence and respect I have for myself. I don't need to prove myself to anyone, especially for power hungry and ego-centered men.

I am one of those people where I have 12 major projects going on all at once because my brain is like a web of ideas and thoughts. I can't stop. I noticed one of the great things about being sober, I manage to complete tasks!
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