DAY 40 - Biopsy - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

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DAY 40 - Biopsy

Posted 02-07-2019 at 08:50 PM by LoveHateMerlot

I am a strawberry blonde with fair skin and freckles. On top of drinking like a fish I have also been to tanning beds when I was younger. I was young and dumb. I went to San Diego and Mexico a ton, while growing up in Arizona. Any 311 fans reading this? I laid out in that brutal sun with zero sunscreen, thinking peachy-pink reddish skin still looked better than pure, snow white skin. If only time machines were real, right? So far, since last year, I had 3 basil cell carcinomas cut out of me (my thigh, my stomach and my arm). I had a cyst the size of a marble cut out of my a** cheek last year and left behind a tiny hole. I feel like Swiss cheese. I feel like I went from filling in new patient paperwork from "No, I haven't had any surgeries at all, I have been super healthy!", immediately to, "Yes, I have had quite a few." in a blink of an eye. I feel like I am physically falling apart to pieces.

I was called by my doctor's nurse today (from breast surgery and oncology) to tell me to go ahead and get a biopsy of my right breast before my appointment scheduled for the 28th. I just Googled "cluster cancer cells breast cancer near nipple" and then proceeded to freak myself out. I don't know if it's cancer or not. I don't handle situations where you have to wait for life threatening news like this very well. I am telling you that I am trying to be super strong and think positive thoughts but I am pretty scared. I was initially worried about damage I have caused to my liver. Now it's both! I still need to go pay Quest Diagnostics a visit, so they can draw my blood for a panel that my doctor ordered. Now I am sitting here in my bed, late at night, typing out a sober Day 40 on my blog...for what the hell even for? See that's where my brain is going right now. Ugh. I hope I stopped drinking in time.
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