DAY 13 - Recalibrating Friendships - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read




Every day is a new day, that's what I keep telling myself. The struggle is real. I'm in deep with this addiction to wine. I am searching for the answer how to turn it off. I feel lucky if I can keep it down to a daily minimum of just one bottle. I pray to God to take this addiction away. Some days I'm a fighter. Other days are a bit more challenging. Hopefully by putting this out there, starting today, I can find a new hope and believe in myself again.

LoveHateMerlot
Rate this Entry

DAY 13 - Recalibrating Friendships

Posted 01-11-2019 at 08:49 AM by LoveHateMerlot
Updated 01-11-2019 at 10:48 AM by LoveHateMerlot

Can I just say how amazing it is to be able to wake up at 6:00 am! I literally roll over, turn OFF my alarm (instead of hitting snooze) and jump out of bed. I have zero hangover symptoms. I have a clear head and ready to conquer the day. I do not feel regret or ashamed of the night before. I know EXACTLY who I spoke to and what I said last night...and I do not carry any guilt for yesterday. I don't have to go on Instagram and retrace my intoxicated likes and comments. I can do this!

I have a big test today in my Real Estate licensing class. I have to pass this test in order to carry on to the next course. I feel pretty good about it, I have been flowing through my course material and retaining information the past two weeks (wonder if it has anything to do with being SOBER *wink).

So last night I text my friend and ask if she wants to meet at our hot spot to spill the tea (that's what my teenager calls gossip). Our hot spot is a small Irish pub named Gingerman's. She feeds me some bs about getting her hair done then having to drop her daughter off, then throws in there, "besides you aren't drinking". Meaning = I don't want to hang out with you because you are sober and no fun now. I felt a little sting, and replied "okay never mind". I didn't hear back from her all night. I had already told her before that I can sit at Gingerman's and order their Root Beer on tap. It is super yummy, not something I would normally order, but something I definitely look forward to. Why is my sobriety so hard for her?

She just sent me a text explaining her comment from last night. I can tell she feels bad and told me that she was just looking out for me and didn't want to tempt me, maybe we can go to dinner instead. The thing is she pushed wine on me last Saturday and I stayed sober. Why on earth all of a sudden she is worried about me being tempted? I don't get it. I think I get it, but I hope it's not what I think. She is having a difficult time with the change in our relationship, maybe? If that is so, how can we move past it? I am not open in person like I am blogging about my raw emotions and feelings, hiding behind this computer. If I could, I would simply ask her this, "Are you having a difficult time with this change in our relationship and does it scare you?" I want to know if she is incapable of change in a relationship, because I care about how this may effect her. I need her right now to support me, and I wish our relationship was as easy as my other friendships. I do recognize that she struggles herself with depression, anger, and stress, and alcohol is a focal point in her life. I want to be understanding, so maybe if we do meet up tonight I will get the courage to bring it up. Who knows, maybe it will take our relationship to a whole new level.

I feel naked and exposed on this 13th day of sobriety. I am learning so much every day. I see in myself that I would like to have more courage to speak up, to be able to say what I am really thinking, in order to potentially improve all my relationships. Our relationships are capable of recalibrating, but only with the help of our actions and our words.
Posted in Diary of Wino
Views 77 Comments 1
Total Comments 1

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    LoveHateMerlot's Avatar
    #friends #friendships #girls #gossip #relationships #sober #sobriety #wine #wino #moms #strength #hope #courage
    permalink
    Posted 01-11-2019 at 08:51 AM by LoveHateMerlot LoveHateMerlot is offline
 


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:59 AM.