Oct 10 2019 Halloween - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Oct 10 2019 Halloween

Posted 10-10-2019 at 06:27 AM by ardy

was hoping for a better month. had hoped for more of a balance after 6 months.. since the open heart surgery.. they say God will not give you anymore then you can handle.. well he is pushing this old lady clown to the edge... can say this here for its the only safe place to pour out your heart.. so afraid for my Eddie Lee. he was told in June that he only has 5 years of life left.. You don't tell someone that. give them some hope some purpose. don't pull out the ******* rug and then tell the wife to shut up you push to much. for the wife or hubby will be the one that is standing there watching the last breath to happen. to pick up the pieces to put all the bits in proper boxes and find the money to pay the bills. and to keep working and keep things running..
had to see a physc this last week. for I called the Doc and in tears expressed my fears. Police showed up at our house and had to look into every room and every closet. Ed thought it was a joke until one officer said your wife called as was all bent out of shape that your would hurt her or yourself.. last time I do that .. yep..
the Marine will dig deeper and shut up harder. I have been put to the test I can look someone in the eye for hours days and never say a word... but that will help the problem
what is harder kids and beans weeping everyday for the one you love and they are so lost to life. or to weep your last when they have and end.. at least at the end you can restart a new beginning and say every morning to the cats and the house I love you Babe see you later and close the door and go to work. knowing that the house is empty for the cats and you will not come home to a body on the floor..
what is worse weeping all the time with no end in sight .. or an end and just a little weeping . left..
I am sorry all.. no this old Marine will dig in deep and hard for Eddie Lee is not leaving this earth without a fight for life from me. the Reaper will stand to a corner and give me that chill and I will pull on frame of mind that will back him off for another few months..
Eddie Lee this morning was sobbing just sobbing. he is hurting again in the tummy and upper throat area.. know that he has found the Morphone liquid I hid so deep in a closet . for he was waking me last night to find some more..
He does not know how to get better and is afraid to find out what is next .. and has no idea what will happen in the end..
you have to know your Greater Power the Force that controls life and death and the in between ... love my Eddie Lee so much... Not On My ******* Watch God .. Not Yet.. NO SIR>>>>>>>
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