kzaug2014

Winslow,
Try to not worry about the new doctor ( it only raises anxiety & has no impact on what happens anyway. )
I agree w/Shining. If you're not able to print the Ashton Method, show it to him/her on your phone. Hopefully, your new doc will follow the proper guidelines.

Shining, thx so much. You're always so sweet!

Positive thoughts & calm vibes everyone. (( Hugs ))

Winslow

Hey all,just scared,I don't want to go cold turkey, with all of the alcohol withdrawals I've done,I'm pretty sure I'd have a seizure if I just had to up and quit,don't want that! Ok if I taper by 10% a week, I should be done in 2 months right? I've read the Ashton tips a gazillion times but its really hard to cut evenly and I'm trying not to go to fast but I know I've been dragging this on for too long! I'm pissed cuz I was down to 1 pill in the morning and 1/2 in the afternoon then I started seeing her and she put me back on 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon (.5mg) because "it works for you" her words,stupid, I didn't know she'd be leaving as she's been there a long time,grrr,anyway I plan to post a lot,I need you guys,I'm inspired by Patricia's recent success,how does her ativan dosage,taper time compare to klonopin?anybody know? Back later,hope we all have a nice Tuesday

kzaug2014

We're here for for you hun. Plz try to remain as calm as possible because we can freak ourselves out w/thoughts of withdrawals, seizures, etc. Try this deep breathing method.....Breath in slowly to the count of 7, hold for 7 seconds, breath out slowing w/o count of 7. Repeat 4-5 times. Deep breathing forces your body to calm down. Post as much as you need to, k?

Hello Patricia, Sizzle & Shining!

(( Hugs )) to all

patricia68

I had a bad day yesterday. My husband and I had another argument, we even discussed divorce this time. I don't know what is going to happen, I don't even know what I want. But what I do know is that even on an horrible day, the anxiety is not as bad as it was when I was taking Ativan. Two weeks ago I was having the most horrible panic and anxiety over the smallest problems...today I don't feel great, but I can think clearly and I am learning how to manage the anxiety.

kzaug2014

Hi Patricia,
I'm very sorry to hear that you & your husband are fighting. I understand your confusion about the situation. You're newly clean & beginning to think clearly, which is awesome! Yay!!! You know, your husband may not like that you're now clean & sober because it's a lot harder to control a sober/straight person. I don't know if this this case. Just a thought.
Remember that no matter what happens, there's a reason why things happen in the way they do ( I believe God has a plan for each & everyone one of us. )

Hello to everyone, including Astro ( so sorry I forgot to include you yesterday )
(( Hugs ))

Shining~Again

Oh yes, Patricia is a inspiration! woohoo!

Mmm...let me see, my 1mg Ativan is equal to your .5mg Klonipin.
As far as I know, taper time/reduction is equal across the board in terms of HELL ON EARTH. ahahaa eh. Yeah. :/
Just double whatever your Klonipin is to get Ativan equivalency.
I believe you're at 1mg now?

I know that I didn't really have much of a problem the first time I withdrew from ativan till I got down to 1mg. Like, I could literally drop 3mg and not have anything horrible happen.
Something about "therapeutic levels?" For instance, .5 is lowest ativan amount to take. Below that, it's not recognized as "helpful".
Yet...in withdrawing many go below that in their taper. I did.

Kzaug wrote something in another post that I think is good ESH.
be back in a second...as I can't multi quote. woe is me.

Shining~Again

I could not agree with this more!

Also, to lay to rest my fears after spending waaaay too much time at another board, I started to read evidence based/studies on withdrawal.
My fears were either realized or calmed.
....for example, I had always heard heard about the seizure risk/death but nothing backed up those claims by other posters.
I also could not find any resources that showed death occurring or why it occurred.

Eventually I was able to find some concrete information that debunked the exaggerations/fear mongering. Then I got seriously pissed off at BB and myself.
Once the fear was laid to rest I started improving.

I wish benzo withdawal was even for everyone across the board but it's a really weird class of drugs.
It's been my biggest helper and my biggest hurdle... medication-wise.

Shining~Again

Patricia! You're blowing my mind with how well you're doing!
Brought a smile to my face this morning with a "Yay!" shouted internally.

I can (deeply) understand the feeling of not knowing what you even want.
You don't need to make any decisions now. Heck...with the holidays looming I'm ready to just leave! For anywhere!

The worst thing I can think of feeling is complete apathy. Ativan made that
easy for me. Now, there's apathy and then swinging back the other way to overreacting....and I do have the tendency to have what my therapist calls irrational fears. I'm like "these aren't irrational! This COULD totally HAPPEN!!!".

((((Patricia))))

((((Winslow)))))

((((Kzaug!)))) xx

and definitely ((((Astro! ))))

I now put my coffee down.

Winslow

Shining,I wish benzo withdrawal was like al withdrawal, a few days of hell and then its over,it would make this all so much easier and understandable,I read the horror stories of tapering too fast and having protracted withdrawal for years,dang benzo buddies!plus we never know what other drugs they're taking or other illnesses that they have,I've read some crazy stories on there,everyone sounds like they're doing well here,woo hoo😊

kzaug2014

Winslow, what did your new doctor say?

Shining, you've brought up some great points! I, too, have never heard a 1st hand acct. of seizing during withdrawals, not to say it hasn't happened to people though.

My withdrawals were pretty severe, especially the 1st time when I wasn't prescribed gabapentin. Considering the half life of klonopin, it would the equivalent of cold turkeying 4mg ativan. I was also withdrawing from methadone and norco, so yea, pretty much hell on earth lol. I found methadone on the street 3-4 days later, that 1st time, because I had no intentions of quitting that.

Anyhoo, I ended up in the emergency room the 2nd day & seriously thought I was going to die. But, they just gave me a shot of morphine & 2 klonopin & sent me home lol. During the worst of my withdrawals, I hallucinated & heard voices, but I never had a seizure.

While it can be dangerous going cold turkey from benzos, I think it's much more dangerous mixing them w/opiates & alcohol. I have read stories about people loosing their loved ones by mixing opiates and benzos together. I'm not sure, but I think that mixing alcohol and benzos would produce more seizures than w/opiates & benzos, because I believe heavy alcoholics run the risk of seizures, even w/out mixing it w/benzos. The opiate group of people would probably just go to sleep & never wake up, imo.

((( Hugs ))) to all!

Shining~Again

Winslow - Was your appt this past Tuesday or the coming one?
As amusing and time consuming (distraction) that reading posts about what 'can' happen....please try to find somewhere else. Even reddit's got to be better.

I'm going to bite bullet and tell ya my experience: Was on there (BB) for several months, had a few friendships, got caught up on reading the constant drama that would happen/along with tips. As long as I didn't participate in the infighting/wailing I thought I could just go on there and read the positives.
That worked for a bit...till one day there was a thread comparing the pain of withdrawal to atrocities. I can't even say it (think WWII).
When the mods not only let that be said but then joined in...I left.
It did me more harm in the long run than good...I still remember that thread vividly.

While I have needed at times to just talk and whine, have someone to commiserate with, I also need/needed to be reminded that being stuck in a negative thinking loop will make withdrawal 100% worse.

I'm not a skipping through the tulips, singing "The hills are alive, with the sound of music" type. Just a survivor. Whatever it takes!

10%/wk decrease sounds right on. If it's too much or too little you can adjust. Maybe the new doctor is going to be more educated? Seems lots more are being updated/continuing education about this.
Eh....one can hope.

kzaug2014

Wow! Shining, I think it's atrocious to compare withdrawals to the horrendous evil that occurred during the holocaust! Unbelievable!!! We did not have our loved ones, children, husbands, wives, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, ripped from our arms by men that were going to harm them! We were not starved & worked to death! Gassed! Shot! Raped! Tortured! I don't understand people sometimes!

I read a few articles at BB, but never read any forums, thank goodness. Drama should be avoided during recovery, but sometimes it can't be avoided. That's why I admire you, Patricia, because even though you've really gone through some tough times with your husband, you've risen above all that & have attained sobriety. I believe environment plays a large role in recovery too, but that's a different subject for another day.

While it may be very hard to be positive during withdrawals, if not impossible, I think it's very important to be determined. Stubbornly determined.

(( Hugs )) to everyone!

Sizzle

While my P-Doc has "paused" my Xanax taper until after I complete my holiday trip, the Gabapentin seems to be doing a pretty good job. I also take 25mg of Imipramine each day - to fight panic/anxiety. With that said, the "dark season" has my mood down a bit and I've found myself reaching for a bit more caffeine than normal. However, it seems that the meds have been doing a pretty good job with the anxiety control that I've been able to use the caffeine to boost my mood and energy without bumping up my anxiety. Granted, this same experience may not be felt by all, but thought I'd share a bit on how well the Gabapentin and Imipramine appear to be doing. The days get better. Be well, my friends.

Winslow

Hey all,I don't see the new doc until Tues coming up,its at 8:30 in the morning which means I gotta be late for work, meh,I doubt this doc will be more knowledgeable, its probably another PA like the creep in Feb,the doc I was seeing was experienced in addiction issues and we briefly talked about tapering in the future, if I'd have known she was gonna leave I would have continued tapering from where I was,where is Patricia anyways? I haven't seen her post lately

patricia68

I'm here! Last days of school for my boy so I'm busy running around taking him to Christmas parties and stuff like that. It's not fun for me, but it helps me to focus on other things besides my problems. Being around children always gets me in a better mood. I wish I could still see the world the way they see it

Winslow, you can do this! We have faith in you!

kzaug2014

Hi Sizzle, I'm happy to hear your meds are working for you. I'm not familiar with Imipramine, but I think gabapentin is what saved me from the pits of hell the 2nd time around. I hope your holiday trip goes well. The holidays are nearly over & I think everyone will be a bit relieved when they are. Take care Sizzle!
(( Hugs ))

kzaug2014

Hi Winslow,
Oops, I got the Tues. mixed up. I'm not too found of PA's either, mainly because of their inexperience ( & the one's I've met seem.to be a bit on the cocky side ugh. )
Have you been able to taper at all, w/whats left of your prescription?
I accidentally forgot to say hi to you too the other day. I'm very sorry.
I hope you have a great Fri.!
(( Hugs ))

kzaug2014

Hi Patricia,
How old is your son? I have 2 grandsons, ages 10 & 5 and we babysit them as much as we can. Kids are great!
How have you & the husband been getting along?
I decided to delay that book club thread until after the holidays. I'm just too busy right now.
(( Hugs ))

patricia68

My son is 8. I love this age, he's starting to get more independent but he still loves to hang out with me. I know that's eventually going to change so I'm enjoying it while it lasts!

My husband seems to be more calm since the last fight...I hope we can spend the Holidays without fighting, I'd hate to ruin it for my son. I'm trying to distract myself so I don't think too much about it

Introvrtd1

Eeesh! I started on ativan during an ER visit in 2009..... That lasted about a week!

I had a racing heart, palpitations, and of course...ANXIETY!

The ativan was given intraveinously and within 30 mins, I felt like a new man. My prescription was 1mg as needed or every six hours! I tried to confine the dose to just maybe twice a day, but as I made an attempt to go cold turkey, I went thru three days of benzo withdrawal hell!.... The insomnia, chest pains, anxiety, etc....But I was determined to get off the benzo cycle of dependency!

I made it! Ive decided to find easier and more manageable was to cope, so I just look back with pride knowing I made it out!

Glad to hear you did too!