I'm living Benzo free
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Had an ER visit late fri night for severe anxiety so dr gave me an ativan iv drip. Long story short, after I got home slept 12 hrs thru the night and woke up early next morn day and felt great all day.
Well having slight withdrawals now here monday morn.....
Only had it for one day and didn't expect to be feeling like this, but I guess you understand how this works.
Hopefully feeling better once all this passes.
Well having slight withdrawals now here monday morn.....
Only had it for one day and didn't expect to be feeling like this, but I guess you understand how this works.
Hopefully feeling better once all this passes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Hi Sizzle, it's great to have you back & I hope you had an enjoyable holiday.
That must have been a very frightening experience, blacking out like you did. I hope it was only dehydration and that all your medical tests check out okay.
Happy New Yr to you too & welcome back!
(( Hugs ))
That must have been a very frightening experience, blacking out like you did. I hope it was only dehydration and that all your medical tests check out okay.
Happy New Yr to you too & welcome back!
(( Hugs ))
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Hey Intro,
I hope you feel better soon. It's amazing to me just how powerful benzos really are.
I was prescribed xanax in 2002 for only 4mos when my hubs was in a Mo. long coma ( which included 2mo's of tapering. ) I still had withdrawals for 10 days.
When I was prescribed xanax again in 2004 ( & then switched to klonopin ) I never once thought about those withdrawals 2yrs prior & the consequences of taking benzos.
Staying active on SR helps to keep me on recovery road. I've learned a wealth of knowledge here & continue to expand that knowledge by reading new threads, stickies, ect...
I hope your day gets better.
(( Hugs ))
I hope you feel better soon. It's amazing to me just how powerful benzos really are.
I was prescribed xanax in 2002 for only 4mos when my hubs was in a Mo. long coma ( which included 2mo's of tapering. ) I still had withdrawals for 10 days.
When I was prescribed xanax again in 2004 ( & then switched to klonopin ) I never once thought about those withdrawals 2yrs prior & the consequences of taking benzos.
Staying active on SR helps to keep me on recovery road. I've learned a wealth of knowledge here & continue to expand that knowledge by reading new threads, stickies, ect...
I hope your day gets better.
(( Hugs ))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Hey all, Sizzle and Intro, sounds like some scary stuff you both have been through, Patricia,yeah feeling crazy about sums up my hormonal situation too😠 I used to relapse monthly around that time and finally started keeping better track so I could be more prepared, but still this stuff just makes me feel sick,physically and mentally,I hope we all feel b
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by Winslow 
Hey all, Sizzle and Intro, sounds like some scary stuff you both have been through, Patricia,yeah feeling crazy about sums up my hormonal situation too😠 I used to relapse monthly around that time and finally started keeping better track so I could be more prepared, but still this stuff just makes me feel sick,physically and mentally,I hope we all feel b
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Hey Patricia,
I only get grouchy & tired for 1 day & the only advice I have is for my hubs..."don't mess w/me lol!"
Have you googled any info about PMS? I'd think there's probably some good advice on the subject.
Help to everyone! I hope you're all doing well.
(( Hugs ))
I only get grouchy & tired for 1 day & the only advice I have is for my hubs..."don't mess w/me lol!"
Have you googled any info about PMS? I'd think there's probably some good advice on the subject.
Help to everyone! I hope you're all doing well.
(( Hugs ))
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
I did google it kzaug. Everybody says to take SSRIs. I'm not going back that road. I wish there was some real advice on PMS help besides addictive prescriptions. I know everybody says SSRIs are not addictive, well weaning off SSRIs was a nightmare. I don't want to mess up with my brain again...
I don't want to get old but I can't wait until all this hormonal mess is over...
I don't want to get old but I can't wait until all this hormonal mess is over...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Try googling "holistic approach to PMS" Patricia. One article I read said to replace coffee w/green tea. I quit drinking coffee 16mo's ago & who knows, but maybe that 1 reason I only go through 1 bad day?
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Hey all,Patricia I've had horrendous periods for forever,can't tolerate birth control (makes me crazier) can't tolerate sSSRIs either,that's one of the reasons they just gave me klonopin in the end,I've read evening primrose oil, tried it but it kinda gave me anxiety, was good for al cravings though,I guess in the .end i just treat myself like I'm sick for a few days,take it easy,try to get some exercise and rest,was thinking of you the other day and I'm still so proud that you were able to quit your benzo relatively easy, did you take it daily or just as needed? Kzaug,how's everything in your world? I've had a bit of sadness now that the holidays are over but I'm trying to focus on paying off my debt so that's a good distraction😊
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Hey Winslow, I've been good. The hubs & I went an auction yesterday & I got 67cds for $30! All good too...Kansas, Boston, Crosby Stills & Nash, Bad Company, Aerosmith, Van Halen, to name a few. I was really surprised they went so cheap lol. I'm pretty old school w/music. I like Pandora & such, but I like to listen to the entire albums.
I hope everyone is having a good day.
(( Hugs ))
I hope everyone is having a good day.
(( Hugs ))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Hey all,sounds like a good find Kzaug😊 having a yucky depressed/anxious day,I'm so over this,its totally not me! Yesterday I was on top of the world, no anxiety,energy to exercise,then this morning I woke up in a funk,I wonder if it was the Advil p.m I took last night? I'm so sensitive to meds as it is, or its just my wacky hormones, hope all are well😊
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Yea, it was Winslow! I normally pay at least a buck apiece, so I was very happy w/under .50 cents each!
I betcha the Advil pm had something to do w/your yucky day. Anything w/pm makes me really groggy the next day ugh. I also can't use antihistamines. They make my heart race & make me all jittery.
You know what's sucks? Exercise helps anxiety & depression tremendously, but you never feel like exercising when you feel this & when you need it most. I just try to force myself to do the things I don't want to. Sometimes, I succeed & sometimes, I don't. The great thing is I succeed 100% more than I did when I was taking opiates & benzos! Yay!!! I was the laziest person in the world back then!
Patricia, I hope your MOS is getting better hun.
Sharon, how have you been doing? And everyone else too?
I hope everyone has a good Thursday!
Big ((Hugs ))
I normally pay at least a buck apiece, so I was very happy w/under .50 cents each! I betcha the Advil pm had something to do w/your yucky day. Anything w/pm makes me really groggy the next day ugh. I also can't use antihistamines. They make my heart race & make me all jittery.
You know what's sucks? Exercise helps anxiety & depression tremendously, but you never feel like exercising when you feel this & when you need it most. I just try to force myself to do the things I don't want to. Sometimes, I succeed & sometimes, I don't. The great thing is I succeed 100% more than I did when I was taking opiates & benzos! Yay!!!
I was the laziest person in the world back then!Patricia, I hope your MOS is getting better hun.
Sharon, how have you been doing? And everyone else too?
I hope everyone has a good Thursday!
Big ((Hugs ))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Yeah Kzaug,I seriously cannot even take allegra or claritin I get shaky which really sucks during the hot dusty summer when my nose and ears are clogged,I just use saline spray,I think I overwhelmed myself too by wanting to quit smoking,eat healthier,exercise more and when I don't meet my goals I get upset,I gotta back off for a bit and just focus in my taper and staying off alcohol, that's the main thing I've got to keep control of,the rest will fall into place eventually, thanks for always being here for us,you're an amazing support😊
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Wow, Winslow! I didn't realize you were trying to meet so many goals all at once. Yikes! I agree, I would hold off on some of those goals for now.
When I quit drugs, I also quit caffeine ( pop & coffee. ) But, I was so sick for so long that I barely noticed lol ( which was about the only cool thing about those withdrawals. )
I'm just addressing the 40lbs. I put on in the last 16mo's now.
After my withdrawals were finished, the receptors in my brain that informed me that I was full....broke lol. And I mean...they really went haywire!
For the 20something previous yrs to this, I had eaten 3-4 small meals/day. I couldn't even finish a burger back then. Then, I didn't hardly anything for 4-5mo's after I quit drugs ( when I was sick. )
So, I went from yrs of eating very little to literally eating non-stop from the time I woke up in the morning to the time I went to bed...everyday. I never felt full. I knew my brain was seriously screwed up & may need over a yr. to repair itself.
But, I also wasn't worried about it. I wanted to concentrate on feeling like a normal human being & on my sobriety. I just planned on getting healthy when I was better psychologically equipped to handle it & when the receptors in my brain returned normal. I didn't see any benefit to fight that non-stop hunger until I was better.
I think you should put off smoking indefinitely, until you're better equipped psychologically too.
As to the healthy eating & exercise goals, I don't think they have to be addressed as a whole. You could break them down to much smaller, more manageable goals. Replace "my goal is to eat only healthy food" with "I'm going to cut down on the amount of pop I drink." A much smaller part of your goal.
And instead of "I'm going to exercise everyday from now on" say...."I'm going to take a 5min. walk or do 10mins of yoga, when I feel especially anxious." Plus, that short walk ( or yoga ) will help w/your anxiety.
I think it's fine to write your future goals down because it would give you dreams to look forward to in the future.
My goals are:
1) Go back to church....find a new church that I love.
2) Loose the weight I gained
3) Eat healthy w/no processed sugar at 1st, graduating to no processed foods whatsoever, graduating to eating only non gmo food. Gmo food is against the law in England & for good reason. I really think that all that food that has increased in size over the yrs, the cows that graze on genetically modified feed, the pesticides used, even the seed we buy to grow in our own gardens..... is slowly poisoning us & is making us sick w/certain disease.
Okay, I've gotten sidetracked lol.
4) Exercise ....w/out hurting myself lol. Gain strength and balance. There's an old guy that posted in the fitness forum about how he lost a ton of weight & became extremely physically fit. And I really mean extremely. ) I don't remember the exact details, but it was something like...going from not being able to do 1 lap in a pool to doing 1000 laps. No joke! His blood pressure went from outta control high to normal levels. Same w/other medical tests. He's a great inspiration. I'll go look up his story & tell you his name when I'm finished writing down my goals.
5) Get psychologically fit. I've been w/a man my entire life, since the age of 15. I've never been alone & I want to learn how to be content living alone in the future. My hubs and I will never divorce, but Idk how old he will grow because of his Brittle Type 1 Diabetes. His sugar goes so low that it doesn't register on his meter ( so below 29 ) & this happens daily. He can feel when it gets really low & it wakes him up from his sleep. But, there may come a time when he won't wake up at all. I've dreaded this for many yrs now. Obviously, I will morn... a lot, but I also want to learn how to love myself enough to live by myself someday.
6) Strengthen my mind. Alzheimer's run in my fam, so I want to learn how to strengthens my brain.
7) Spend less money.
8) Continue to sell my collections at auction to make extra money. My goal is to sell enough items to get rid of my storage unit that I pay an extra 50 bucks for every Mo. ( & continue to sell after that too. )
9) Read more. I used to be able to read a 400pg book in 1 night. I've noticed that my attention span has grown shorter through out the yrs., so I'd like to work on that.
10) Continue remodeling our home. I've updated all light fixtures & ceiling fans w/higher end products that I've been able to but at auction for pennies on the dollar. Same thing w/all the faucets....Next on the list....Paint from ceiling down to wainscotting ( sp?) ...New carpet & bathroom floor after that ( we already put new hardwood flooring in the dining room, kitchen and hallway ) ....After that....New molding, trim, ect. And new Windows someday.
I'm pretty artistic, so I'm doing something creative for the bathroom floor. I
We went to this restaurant this past summer that had really unique, cool looking floors. I asked them how they did the floors & they said they ripped up a couple of rolls of brown paper, emerged it in a solution of 1/2 elmers glue & 1/2 water & laid it on the floor w/both the light & the dark ripped sides showing....Then sealed it w/o couple of coats of gloss polyurethane.
So I've decided that I'm going to do the same thing, only instead of using ripped paper, I'm going to create a collage of antique advertisements from magazines I have dating from from 1900-1920's.
I'm also going to get creative on the hallway walls, from the chair rail down, using vintage & antique game boards as wallpaper.
Also...plan on using old cardboard prints of still life's ( fruit, vegetables, ect. ) to cover a peninsula of lower cupboards in our dining room.
11) Spend as much time possible w/our kids & grandkids...doing tons of fun things!
Well, this post was certainly longer than I had anticipated. Lol!
Huge (( Hugs )) for everyone.
When I quit drugs, I also quit caffeine ( pop & coffee. ) But, I was so sick for so long that I barely noticed lol ( which was about the only cool thing about those withdrawals. )
I'm just addressing the 40lbs. I put on in the last 16mo's now.
After my withdrawals were finished, the receptors in my brain that informed me that I was full....broke lol. And I mean...they really went haywire!
For the 20something previous yrs to this, I had eaten 3-4 small meals/day. I couldn't even finish a burger back then. Then, I didn't hardly anything for 4-5mo's after I quit drugs ( when I was sick. )
So, I went from yrs of eating very little to literally eating non-stop from the time I woke up in the morning to the time I went to bed...everyday. I never felt full. I knew my brain was seriously screwed up & may need over a yr. to repair itself.
But, I also wasn't worried about it. I wanted to concentrate on feeling like a normal human being & on my sobriety. I just planned on getting healthy when I was better psychologically equipped to handle it & when the receptors in my brain returned normal. I didn't see any benefit to fight that non-stop hunger until I was better.
I think you should put off smoking indefinitely, until you're better equipped psychologically too.
As to the healthy eating & exercise goals, I don't think they have to be addressed as a whole. You could break them down to much smaller, more manageable goals. Replace "my goal is to eat only healthy food" with "I'm going to cut down on the amount of pop I drink." A much smaller part of your goal.
And instead of "I'm going to exercise everyday from now on" say...."I'm going to take a 5min. walk or do 10mins of yoga, when I feel especially anxious." Plus, that short walk ( or yoga ) will help w/your anxiety.
I think it's fine to write your future goals down because it would give you dreams to look forward to in the future.
My goals are:
1) Go back to church....find a new church that I love.
2) Loose the weight I gained
3) Eat healthy w/no processed sugar at 1st, graduating to no processed foods whatsoever, graduating to eating only non gmo food. Gmo food is against the law in England & for good reason. I really think that all that food that has increased in size over the yrs, the cows that graze on genetically modified feed, the pesticides used, even the seed we buy to grow in our own gardens..... is slowly poisoning us & is making us sick w/certain disease.
Okay, I've gotten sidetracked lol.
4) Exercise ....w/out hurting myself lol. Gain strength and balance. There's an old guy that posted in the fitness forum about how he lost a ton of weight & became extremely physically fit. And I really mean extremely. ) I don't remember the exact details, but it was something like...going from not being able to do 1 lap in a pool to doing 1000 laps. No joke! His blood pressure went from outta control high to normal levels. Same w/other medical tests. He's a great inspiration. I'll go look up his story & tell you his name when I'm finished writing down my goals.
5) Get psychologically fit. I've been w/a man my entire life, since the age of 15. I've never been alone & I want to learn how to be content living alone in the future. My hubs and I will never divorce, but Idk how old he will grow because of his Brittle Type 1 Diabetes. His sugar goes so low that it doesn't register on his meter ( so below 29 ) & this happens daily. He can feel when it gets really low & it wakes him up from his sleep. But, there may come a time when he won't wake up at all. I've dreaded this for many yrs now. Obviously, I will morn... a lot, but I also want to learn how to love myself enough to live by myself someday.
6) Strengthen my mind. Alzheimer's run in my fam, so I want to learn how to strengthens my brain.
7) Spend less money.
8) Continue to sell my collections at auction to make extra money. My goal is to sell enough items to get rid of my storage unit that I pay an extra 50 bucks for every Mo. ( & continue to sell after that too. )
9) Read more. I used to be able to read a 400pg book in 1 night. I've noticed that my attention span has grown shorter through out the yrs., so I'd like to work on that.
10) Continue remodeling our home. I've updated all light fixtures & ceiling fans w/higher end products that I've been able to but at auction for pennies on the dollar. Same thing w/all the faucets....Next on the list....Paint from ceiling down to wainscotting ( sp?) ...New carpet & bathroom floor after that ( we already put new hardwood flooring in the dining room, kitchen and hallway ) ....After that....New molding, trim, ect. And new Windows someday.
I'm pretty artistic, so I'm doing something creative for the bathroom floor. I
We went to this restaurant this past summer that had really unique, cool looking floors. I asked them how they did the floors & they said they ripped up a couple of rolls of brown paper, emerged it in a solution of 1/2 elmers glue & 1/2 water & laid it on the floor w/both the light & the dark ripped sides showing....Then sealed it w/o couple of coats of gloss polyurethane.
So I've decided that I'm going to do the same thing, only instead of using ripped paper, I'm going to create a collage of antique advertisements from magazines I have dating from from 1900-1920's.
I'm also going to get creative on the hallway walls, from the chair rail down, using vintage & antique game boards as wallpaper.
Also...plan on using old cardboard prints of still life's ( fruit, vegetables, ect. ) to cover a peninsula of lower cupboards in our dining room.
11) Spend as much time possible w/our kids & grandkids...doing tons of fun things!
Well, this post was certainly longer than I had anticipated. Lol!
Huge (( Hugs )) for everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Usa
Posts: 27
Hello all, I just wanted to pop in and say happy new year! Here's hoping this one brings peace and joy to us all!!! As for me, recovery is happening at a snails pace. Yesterday was 7 months clean from booze and xanax. Every month my baseline increases just a bit. I am thankful that I am no longer in the acute phase, however my patience is surely being tested. I am still pretty much housebound but the anxiety is letting up a bit. Not long ago I couldn't even comfortably walk with my daughter to the bus stop. Thankfully this has gotten easier. This process is bar none the hardest thing I have ever endured!! Like someone recently told me.."This deal ain't for wimps". So let's try to keep our heads held high, our minds focused and show this world how tough we really are! Bring it 2016 💪💪👍👍😎😎
So let's try to keep our heads held high, our minds focused and show this world how tough we really are! Bring it 2016 💪💪👍👍😎😎
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Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
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Originally Posted by kzaug2014
How was your New Yrs?
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