I gotta admit. I've been here before plenty of times before at the start. Sometimes I was pretty fired up other times I was ready but had to much doubt in the back of my mind that I would take this seriously. But something really feels different about this time.

I'm not going to carry on and on since I still have a bit of shame being all fired up before in the past just to drag my sorry butt back here saying I'm on day one again.

But let's just say certain signs appeared...

But that would be a lie. I've heard it all before and said it to myself a thousand times over. But that "voice" just seems to have a hold on me. Well no more!!!

I am sick to death of always being drunk or being hungover. My mind has been going back into a fog, my judgment isn't the best. Old habits are coming back. Drinking 15-19 beers then hoping in my truck to go get more beer. Waking up feeling ashamed on top of that horrible sickness. I called into work today, blew off...

I've been drinking again. That drive and passion I had for a few months where I hardly thought twice about drinking seem to of have gone up in smoke. And now it only seems when I'm sitting around hungover do I think about trying to get back on the wagon again. But come a day, two, or three later that gets thrown right out the window and all my mind seems to be wrapped around is getting drunk again. And that vicious cycle of wishing I was sober when I was drunk and dreaming of being drunk when I'm...

Don't worry, I think I'll make it:P Seriously though who get's a damn cold in the dead of summer??? Well anyway enough of my bitching time for the update.

I've been outside of the past two days really good. I'm working again and climbing out of that hole that I was in for the past year. My mode is much more up beat. Taking a shot lately in the weight room though. Since I've started working I find that by training the way I like to leaves me pretty exhausted especially with the way I...

Been a while since I've updated this. Real world has been singing it's Siren song and have no choice but to answer

Anyway things have been good, I realized the other day when I hit the sober clock that if it wasn't for that relapse back in April I would have a solid 200 days under my belt. Oh well, 81 is is pretty damn good too.

But as I said I've been pretty good, just busy. I had a rough two weeks recently. Mostly brought on by a change in my daily life routine I assume....