Berrybean

If you're trying to figure out a day or time that it will be easy or comfortable, then it might be worth changing tack. There will be no time that is easier or more comfortable. It will be tough at first. It will be uncomfortable, whatever day it starts. Just like whatever day a kid starts learning to ride a bike without stabelisers theyre likely to get a few bumps and bruises. BUT, if you're willing to work on your recovery, the good news is that this only need be a transient phase.

MindfulMan

My primary care physician refused to treat me until I got a psych consult.

The psychiatrist (dual diagnosis clinic) took my history. The attending came in. She told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to stop drinking, that I would make myself seriously ill and possibly die if I continued the way I was going. I would require medical detox or I might have seizures and/or DTs, and following that a minimum of 30 days of inpatient treatment.

I went home and thought "No F'in' way.' Then I looked in the mirror, and a shell of former self looked back. Bloated, blotchy, with a cut on my head from a fall, unable to stand without support. I called around and got an intake two days later.

That morning I drank a bottle of excellent New Zealand pinot noir and checked in. 10 day benzo taper. It was mostly a fog.

All I decided at that point was to get detoxed, and take some time off from drinking and drugging until I could "go back to normal." At first I was going to stop while I was in rehab. Then 30 days after. Then 90 days after. A few days after my taper, I was sitting in a meeting and I just 'got' Step 1. Normal people don't wake up in rehab not knowing where they are. My life had become unmanageable. Once I started drinking again, it was just a matter of time before I ended up back there. Once I started, I was powerless to stop.

I decided to never drink again that moment. And I never will.

Marcutah1

Woke up on a Saturday morning and I could only remember bits and pieces. I knew I made stirfry but I don't remember making or eating it. My wife reminded me of something I told her I would do. I don't remember saying anything about it.
Had this happen before but not to this degree. That was the tipping point for me. Four nights a week getting like that had to stop. Heck, I got an extra $125.00 a month in my pocket. Gave my self a raise!!!!

Free39

How long have you been sober now Grundghead? I am an every day drinker as well for the last two-three months. Thankfully, I haven't gotten to the point where I have to drink during the day, yet.

Free39

I've had many of blackouts, sad but true. I wake up some mornings and see the bottle of wine on my kitchen counter and say in my head WTF? I look in my garbage and realize it wasn't just one bottle of wine. Its progressing, I know this. Yet I keep procrastinating on when my quit day will be. Thanks for sharing!!

DontRemember

I procrastinated quiting for a couple years and dug deeper into it. Once I got sent to AA I still drank,but had slowed it down a lot,for a while. Then it went back to almost all the time again in a few months,so I just had to get serious about staying stopped and work a plan. That was 18mo ago.

Free39

Good for you Mindfulman!! That's awesome that you've made the choice never to drink again! I hope you have a great support system!

I've also looked in the mirror and didnt recognize myself many of times after a night of drinking. I'm bloated, blotchy, under eye bags, skin is dry. I'm ruining my looks with my drinking. My choice of wine is also pinot noir. I thought red wine was healthy for your heart! Not if you get addicted, what a joke!

Free39

Would be interested in knowing what your plan was. I was supposed to go to my first AA meeting today. I was actually kind of excited about it. But when 5'oclock hit, I decided I was too tired to go. I think one of my issues while using is procrastination.
Congratulations on your 18 months of sobriety, you should be proud of yourself!!

DontRemember

I started attending more AA meetings than required by the courts(that's over now). Removed toxic 'things'(people,places,things) from my life to the best of my ability. Read and post daily here. Started making amends to people my drinking had a negative effect on(I'm still working on this),that's releived a lot of stress I'd drink over in the past. Regained some form of spirtuality I had lost throughout the years(I'm not religious). That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

I wish I had had the courage to walk through the doors of AA like was suggested when I first joined here. Would have saved me...well..from me. Seriously..check it out,if only for a few times to see if it's for you. I was welcomed on my first day and I was ashamed to be there with a court slip in my hand. It didn't matter. They still cared and wanted to offer me much needed support.

Sober369

I had decided I had to quit but kept putting it off. I have this problem where my mind changes completely. In the morning I never want to take another drink. Then, in the afternoon there is nothing I wanted more than a drink. I remember driving home once, about three days dry, and thinking that if someone offered me a million dollars not to take a drink, I would have a very hard time deciding to take the money.
On July 3rd I drank an awful lot, like I often did. The next day I was super sick. I just wanted to get sober so badly. Tonight I almost drank again, on my fifth day. I am still struggling with it, but am about to go to bed and watch a movie so I'm pretty sure I'll make it through tonight.
I have to work a plan. Tomorrow I'll go to an AA meeting. I just have to do whatever it takes to get through one day at a time. I know it gets better.

Grungehead

5 years this past April. I was an every day drinker for many years, but over the last couple of years I progressed to drinking all day, mainly because I started waking up with withdrawals. I was what I would call a maintenance drinker those last couple of years, drinking mainly to function and keep the withdrawals away as I wasn't really catching a buzz any longer.

My primary care physician set me up with a detox plan and referred me to outpatient treatment, which consisted of weekly one on one counseling and monthly appointments with a psychiatrist. I started going back to AA (this wasn't my first rodeo) and got serious with it this time. I found a sponsor within a couple weeks of returning and within 4 months he had taken me through the steps for the first time. That was the "game changer" for me.

least

I didn't set a particular date, but just woke up one morning after two days of drinking and said NO MORE! And I've been sober 8 yrs and 7 months now.

gettingsmarter

Decided when it really sunk in that taking another drink would prolong the misery I wanted out of so badly.

dcg

Nearly daily liver and or spleen pains and the occasional acute pancreatitis attacks that would blast through to my back. Then my buddy told me about some dude he knows that left the bar as usual and was dead the next day - liver failure. That was a few months after another guy I knew who died of kidney failure within a week due to alcoholism. That would be like 5 people within 2 years I either knew or know someone who knew them - all younger than myself. Can't keep playing with fire, so I did what needed to be done. I still get some pains.

As for AV, I don't even know wtf AV is. I've had far more drunken days than sober days in my entire life. My thoughts are mine - I can't attribute them to some alter ego who likes to drink - he is me, and I am him. People say it took X length "to get back to normal" I don't even know what normal is or feels like. I do think I need to continue this path to see where it leads, though.

DreamCatcher17

I was just like you for many years, many mornings of "I am done, until 5 o'**** would roll around".

I had a breaking point, I could no longer continue the vicious cycle, the insanity.

I woke up after a terrible night out, full of shame and embarrassment and I knew I didn't ever want to feel like that again, so I stopped and started to recover.
Coming here was very important for my first 3 weeks, I was here all the time reading and posting as much as I could but mostly reading. Then AA, then an app.

You have to want to be sober more than you want a drink and you have to tell that AV to kick rocks.

Blessings,
DC

aasharon90

I lost my spleen when it was punctured by
broken ribs after I hit a concrete culvert
sitting on top the ground. Yep, I was less
than a mile away from home, wee hours
of the morning after a night at a local club
of drinking, dancing and music.

I spent the next 10 days in the hospital
pretty messed, YET, upon my return home,
about 3 months of recovery, I was right
back at the same club doing the same thing
and coming home in the wee hours.

That was Feb 1990 when the accident occurred
and come August 1990, I wanted to end my life
and downed a hand full of pills left off from my
accident not thinking about the loved ones id
leave behind.

My 2 little ones tried to wake me with no
avail until I heard a faint bell ringing near
my head, which was the phone. So I reached
for it and on the other end was my mother
in law calling asking where I was with the kids
for their last day of bible school.

My voice was slurred which raised red
flags as my MIL yelled at me to get out
of bed immediately. So I staggered to the
bathroom to throw up all that was in my
system and pull myself together.

Before I knew it, my husband was home
from work that morning trying to haul me
to the car to take me to the hospital to get
my stomach pumped. However, I fought him
off with all my strength and then all was
quiet as I was left alone for a little while.

Then, the authorities were there to escort
me to their car and taken to the hospital
because I wasn't willing to go with family.

As I walked passed family, I glared at
them with daggers in my eyes and hatred
in my voice as I said, I hate you and off I
went.

I sat in the back of the police car, fuming,
feelings of disgrace, failure, like a criminal
that wouldn't hurt a flea. Boy was I sick.

That first night I spent in the mental
ward waiting to be tested the next day
for my mental state of mind. Yes, that
was pretty scary as I watched many
folks either rocking back and forth,
shuffling across the floor, mumbling
to themselves, thinking to myself that
I surely wasn't that far gone.

I was tested and passed with them
evaluating me with just a drinking
problem. An addiction to alcohol
unable to control my drinking and was
ordered to remain in rehab for 2 weeks
in which I did until they wanted to
send me away to a halfway house for
6 weeks because I wasn't ready to return
to my own home environment and possible
relapse.

So, I begged and pleaded for them to allow
me to remain where I was to complete a 28
day recovery program there with a 6 week
outpatient aftercare program attached once
I was released.

When I completed my rehab program, I
continued on my journey in recovery attending
many meetings and incorporating the tools
and knowledge of my addiction and recovery
on a continuous daily bases to achieve success
in my own life addiction free for some 27 yrs
now.

I didn't chose rehab, but my family stepped
in back in 1990, placing me into the hands
of those capable of teaching me about my
addiction and hand me a program of recovery
to live the rest of my life by once I got sober.

I entered rehab on Aug. 10th and my first
full sober day was Aug. 11th which became
my Sobriety Birthday/Anniversary which,
but for the grace of my HP, Higher Power,
God of my understanding and the program
of AA, I haven't had the need to change
that date. For that, I am truly grateful for.

Rar

I didn't have a particular plan to quit, though every morning I declared that day to be my quit day. I would gag brushing my teeth and have anxiety from about 4:00 a.m. on until I opened my first beer, which became earlier and earlier. On the evening I quit, I once again was having a pity party over something that happened to me 50 years ago. I was texting that to my daughter. It wasn't anything hurtful to her, but was sort of like a PTSD situation which I lived over and over when I was drunk. Later when I went to get another beer, I was astounded over the amount I already drank and thought that I didn't even feel much of a buzz. I stopped right there. When I think about the texting, I didn't want to be this pitiful drunk person in my daughter's eyes, though I'm not sure if she suspected I was drinking. After quitting, I never referred to that 50 year old situation again.

tomsteve

another one that didnt choose a quit date- it chose me.
passing in the day after my last drunk i was granted the gift of desperation- the pain of getting drunk had exceeded the pain of reality. i FINALLY admitted alcohol was the common denominator in all of my problems and gave myself 2 choices:
AA or suicide. i chose AA and havent drank since. been given a pretty good life,too.

lessgravity

Echoing what many have said - my time to quit chose me. It was another shameridden, exhausting drunken binge where I could have lost even more than I almost did.

One last terrible half pint of cheap vodka to get me to sleep that night, knowing that I just could not do it anymore.

88 days later here I am.

Tang

Alcoholic neuropathy hit me recently. That was a true sign that I was damaging my body. Waking up with my hands numb. Scary stuff.