When did you decide on your quit date?
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,825
AV is any thought, feeling or image of future consumption and any doubt in one's ability to remain abstinent.
There are great threads , here on SR in the Secular Recovery forum and other sub forums , that go into some depth about AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique). Those ideas resonated with me and I always recommend that people give them a perusal.
When I signed up for SR , I picked 'dwtbd' (Don't Want To Be Drunk) because it didn't roll off the fingers easily to type and wanted to pound that idea into myself.
I quickly saw mention of AVRT and learned how quitting is not about not wanting, it is about never drinking again regardless of wanting, you can't just turn the wanting off, but pouring alcohol down your throat isn't about satisfying the 'want' that is literally never satisfied, feeding the want just means more booze , more drinks a session and more sessions.
Quitting , for real and for good , is about never drinking again and being comfortable with residual desire, the want organically fades into the backround or white noise. The AV 'gets' quieter when You decide enough is enough.
Sit in a quiet place say " I will never drink again and I will never change my mind" and listen to the thoughts that percolate, disbelief , incredulity and doubt will probably be foremost, that is AV and what you are up against. The great news is they are only thoughts and you have every and all power to ignore them.
Driving past the store on the way home is under your complete control, you are in control of all the motor functions needed to operate your car. Like wise you are in control when you pull in , get out and walk in the store , pick a bottle off the shelf and get out your wallet. The fight in your head that ends with you buying a bottle is you accepting the dictates of the desire.
Deciding to never again live by those dictates is entirely possible when you see that the 'want' has no power , the power or control it feels like IT has, is illusory .
You can end your addiction by breaking the illusion and realize you can choose to never drink again, even if 'you want to'.
I didn't really choose a date , I found SR and AVRT and I 'just up and Quit', you can too
There are great threads , here on SR in the Secular Recovery forum and other sub forums , that go into some depth about AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique). Those ideas resonated with me and I always recommend that people give them a perusal.
When I signed up for SR , I picked 'dwtbd' (Don't Want To Be Drunk) because it didn't roll off the fingers easily to type and wanted to pound that idea into myself.
I quickly saw mention of AVRT and learned how quitting is not about not wanting, it is about never drinking again regardless of wanting, you can't just turn the wanting off, but pouring alcohol down your throat isn't about satisfying the 'want' that is literally never satisfied, feeding the want just means more booze , more drinks a session and more sessions.
Quitting , for real and for good , is about never drinking again and being comfortable with residual desire, the want organically fades into the backround or white noise. The AV 'gets' quieter when You decide enough is enough.
Sit in a quiet place say " I will never drink again and I will never change my mind" and listen to the thoughts that percolate, disbelief , incredulity and doubt will probably be foremost, that is AV and what you are up against. The great news is they are only thoughts and you have every and all power to ignore them.
Driving past the store on the way home is under your complete control, you are in control of all the motor functions needed to operate your car. Like wise you are in control when you pull in , get out and walk in the store , pick a bottle off the shelf and get out your wallet. The fight in your head that ends with you buying a bottle is you accepting the dictates of the desire.
Deciding to never again live by those dictates is entirely possible when you see that the 'want' has no power , the power or control it feels like IT has, is illusory .
You can end your addiction by breaking the illusion and realize you can choose to never drink again, even if 'you want to'.
I didn't really choose a date , I found SR and AVRT and I 'just up and Quit', you can too
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 234
Date chose me
Like many others, my date chose me. I had had enough, finally. BUT, I had tried to quit before and knew that the time between getting off work and going to bed was going to be my hardest battle. Especially on day 3 sober for some reason (well, I know the reason - that's when cravings hit me the worst). So, I made very detailed plans for every single moment of each evening. These plans included things that I would find enjoyable and look forward to, in addition to the drudgery stuff like doing the dishes. I thought about what I used to do with my evenings years ago, before they were taken up with drinking, and got back into some of those things. This is what worked for me, rather than choosing a date. Because, no matter what date I chose, day 3 would still come around.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 95
I knew I wanted to quit and tried on my birthday in June. That worked for a couple days till I invited my ex over for dinner. She wouldn't usually do this, but she brought drinks. I sipped one out of politeness? but she left without taking the better part of a 12 pack. That got me going on a pretty long bender.
The next significant date I could pick was the 4th of July, Independence Day. I don't think I'd need a special date to quit, but it helps. There's more pressure that way, but also more guilt and feeling of wastefulness if I were to slip up again. It's like a New Years resolution, only not on New Years.
The next significant date I could pick was the 4th of July, Independence Day. I don't think I'd need a special date to quit, but it helps. There's more pressure that way, but also more guilt and feeling of wastefulness if I were to slip up again. It's like a New Years resolution, only not on New Years.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Sober369 
I had decided I had to quit but kept putting it off. I have this problem where my mind changes completely. In the morning I never want to take another drink. Then, in the afternoon there is nothing I wanted more than a drink. I remember driving home once, about three days dry, and thinking that if someone offered me a million dollars not to take a drink, I would have a very hard time deciding to take the money.
On July 3rd I drank an awful lot, like I often did. The next day I was super sick. I just wanted to get sober so badly. Tonight I almost drank again, on my fifth day. I am still struggling with it, but am about to go to bed and watch a movie so I'm pretty sure I'll make it through tonight.
I have to work a plan. Tomorrow I'll go to an AA meeting. I just have to do whatever it takes to get through one day at a time. I know it gets better.
On July 3rd I drank an awful lot, like I often did. The next day I was super sick. I just wanted to get sober so badly. Tonight I almost drank again, on my fifth day. I am still struggling with it, but am about to go to bed and watch a movie so I'm pretty sure I'll make it through tonight.
I have to work a plan. Tomorrow I'll go to an AA meeting. I just have to do whatever it takes to get through one day at a time. I know it gets better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by YuriO
I knew I wanted to quit and tried on my birthday in June. That worked for a couple days till I invited my ex over for dinner. She wouldn't usually do this, but she brought drinks. I sipped one out of politeness? but she left without taking the better part of a 12 pack. That got me going on a pretty long bender.
The next significant date I could pick was the 4th of July, Independence Day. I don't think I'd need a special date to quit, but it helps. There's more pressure that way, but also more guilt and feeling of wastefulness if I were to slip up again. It's like a New Years resolution, only not on New Years.
The next significant date I could pick was the 4th of July, Independence Day. I don't think I'd need a special date to quit, but it helps. There's more pressure that way, but also more guilt and feeling of wastefulness if I were to slip up again. It's like a New Years resolution, only not on New Years.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
When the embarrassment, hiding, lies and shame piled up so high that there was no more room to pile - was the day I knew it must begin.
Just over 30 months now, there is not a day, night or moment I regret getting and staying sober.
Just over 30 months now, there is not a day, night or moment I regret getting and staying sober.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 675
I had a driving incident where although there were no legal consequences and no one else was involved (the only thing hurt/damaged was my car) it was serious enough to change my perspective. I woke up the next morning and "played the tape" right then and there to what could happen the next time.. Blackouts had sadly become pretty normal but there were certain lines I thought I'd never cross. At that point it became apparent that it wasn't a matter of if I would cross those lines, but when. And I was already living in a completely unmanageable horror show as it was..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
I think I may be in the minority, because I tapered down over the course of several days. I knew I desperately needed to quit, but the actual day felt random but firm. Thoughts of drinking popped up, but I kept saying "no" (yeah, out loud when needed), read here constantly, had a plan in place for what I would do when I wanted to drink (journal, read, lay on a heating pad, etc.) I just had to make a decision and not drink no matter what.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Cosima11
I had a driving incident where although there were no legal consequences and no one else was involved (the only thing hurt/damaged was my car) it was serious enough to change my perspective. I woke up the next morning and "played the tape" right then and there to what could happen the next time.. Blackouts had sadly become pretty normal but there were certain lines I thought I'd never cross. At that point it became apparent that it wasn't a matter of if I would cross those lines, but when. And I was already living in a completely unmanageable horror show as it was..
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by Free39
Blackouts have sadly become my norm lately as well. I know my drinking is progressing and I haven't had any legal ramifications as of yet, I believe my time now is limited and I need/want to make a change. I'm hoping tomorrow will be that day! Thank you for your reply and sharing part of your story. Good luck to you!
I'm at 9 months with the drinking and all I can say is if you stick with it your life will change in ways you can't predict (for the better). There's no question it's difficult at first but it's like ripping off a band aid, no fun time to do it really.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 38
Thank you!
Thank you everyone for your replies! It's so encouraging to hear your stories and know that I'm not alone. I wish you all the best of luck on your sobriety, and I'm so glad you all are still hear to tell your story.
Today I've decided would be a good day for me to quit my relationship with alcohol. There's no significance in today, but better today than tomorrow or the the next day or two months from now. Wish me luck! I've been drinking every day for the past two-three months so I'm scared to find out if I will experience any withdrawals. I know I'll have a hard time falling asleep, which was one excuse I often made as to why I drank wine at night in the first place. But I'll take some Tylenol PM, drink some tea, and hope for the best.
Today I've decided would be a good day for me to quit my relationship with alcohol. There's no significance in today, but better today than tomorrow or the the next day or two months from now. Wish me luck! I've been drinking every day for the past two-three months so I'm scared to find out if I will experience any withdrawals. I know I'll have a hard time falling asleep, which was one excuse I often made as to why I drank wine at night in the first place. But I'll take some Tylenol PM, drink some tea, and hope for the best.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
What do you mean, it's not a significant date. Maybe it wasn't before, but it is now! My sobriety birthday always gets more celebrated than my belly-button birthday nowadays.
10th of July seems like a pretty good date to me.
BB
10th of July seems like a pretty good date to me.
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Berrybean
What do you mean, it's not a significant date. Maybe it wasn't before, but it is now! My sobriety birthday always gets more celebrated than my belly-button birthday nowadays.
10th of July seems like a pretty good date to me.
BB
10th of July seems like a pretty good date to me.
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Trelkovsky
ive had so many quit dates its impossible to count them. Last time was this morning.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Free39
You're right Berrybean, it's going to be a significant date! 🙂 How long have you been sober?
And you know, in my first little bit of time my alcoholic head kept trying to derail me with thoughts like, "Look, this is is stupid, you haven't got a problem", And "yeah, but what about your birthday / Christmas / when you get married (no wedding planned anyway!!) Etc. You'll need to drink then anyway!"
And since I got sober, so many 'significant ' days have passed, and they've all been better without the booze. All of them. Esp Christmas. All those things that I thought revolved around booze, I've realised actually DON'T. Not unless you are a problem drinker / alcoholic or sell alcohol for a living. Sobriety is now a gift that becomes more precious every day. With every meeting I go to or post I read here and identify with what is said. With every newcomer I meet in AA who is scared witless about living without alcohol who reminds me that is what alcohol did to me in the past, and will do to me again of I start drinking again. With every tricky situation that I can handle responsibly and with integrity. With every day that I wake up without shame or fear.
Yep. My sobriety date now IS significant. I made it that way, and you can as well.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
You could post in the Class of July 2018 as well and become aquainted with others who've chosen this month to start their journey.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-1-a.html (Class of July 2018 Part 1)
It's also worth starting to think about a sobriety plan. The things that will help sobriety be sustainable and comfortable in the long term. Because sobriety without any recovery is a pretty bleak place to live. I stayed there a little to long and class that as my rock bottom. It was there that I discovered just what a hold alcohol really had had over me - even though I'd stopped using it!
BB
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-1-a.html (Class of July 2018 Part 1)
It's also worth starting to think about a sobriety plan. The things that will help sobriety be sustainable and comfortable in the long term. Because sobriety without any recovery is a pretty bleak place to live. I stayed there a little to long and class that as my rock bottom. It was there that I discovered just what a hold alcohol really had had over me - even though I'd stopped using it!
BB
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,389
I was sober for 208 days in late 2016 and then drank almost every day of January 2017. Not really the way to start off the new year. In fact it was a horror show, and I knew I needed to straighten up and fly right. I'd say on at least half the days of that month, I'd wake up in the morning saying "Enough of this bs, I'm killing myself and I don't want to die. I'm not drinking today." And I failed a lot, often even before noon, haha! But I knew from my previous streak that I was capable of getting sober and living that way, so I kept at it and it finally took. Got some traction on January 30 and didn't drink that day. Kept posting on SR, kept examining myself, kept filling my life with positive things. And the rest is history!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Brit in New Zealand
Posts: 160
I've been wanting to stop for about three years but never managed to. I think it was a sequence of events that just piled on. The last straw was wasting a day off drinking wine, passing out at 7pm, waking up wide awake at 1am only to immediately pour myself another glass.
That was my last drink twelve days ago. I know it isn't very long, but this time I am fully committed to it. I was just plain old sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have pushed my luck more times than I care to remember and one day my guardian angel will get sick and tired of me too. I couldn't lie to myself anymore, I accepted I am an alcoholic at twenty nine years old and that I needed help. So it really was a spur of the moment thing, but it had been playing on my mind for a long time that I really need to stop.
That is how my father quit smoking. He was watching the fireworks on TV at midnight NYE and realised he only had one cig left in the packet. He had drunk a couple of beers so was too over the limit to drive to the petrol station to get more. After uttering a string of profanities he smoked and savoured that cigarette then just said to himself "no more".
That was on millennium NYE so he hasn't touched one in almost twenty years after smoking a pack a day since the age of thirteen. It worked for him so I desperately hope it works for me too He says to this day he is not sure what made him stop so suddenly, it wasn't like a lightning bolt of clarity, it was just more surrendering.
Now I understand what he means
That was my last drink twelve days ago. I know it isn't very long, but this time I am fully committed to it. I was just plain old sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have pushed my luck more times than I care to remember and one day my guardian angel will get sick and tired of me too. I couldn't lie to myself anymore, I accepted I am an alcoholic at twenty nine years old and that I needed help. So it really was a spur of the moment thing, but it had been playing on my mind for a long time that I really need to stop.
That is how my father quit smoking. He was watching the fireworks on TV at midnight NYE and realised he only had one cig left in the packet. He had drunk a couple of beers so was too over the limit to drive to the petrol station to get more. After uttering a string of profanities he smoked and savoured that cigarette then just said to himself "no more".
That was on millennium NYE so he hasn't touched one in almost twenty years after smoking a pack a day since the age of thirteen. It worked for him so I desperately hope it works for me too
He says to this day he is not sure what made him stop so suddenly, it wasn't like a lightning bolt of clarity, it was just more surrendering. Now I understand what he means
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