I had decided I had to quit but kept putting it off. I have this problem where my mind changes completely. In the morning I never want to take another drink. Then, in the afternoon there is nothing I wanted more than a drink. I remember driving home once, about three days dry, and thinking that if someone offered me a million dollars not to take a drink, I would have a very hard time deciding to take the money.
On July 3rd I drank an awful lot, like I often did. The next day I was super sick. I just wanted to get sober so badly. Tonight I almost drank again, on my fifth day. I am still struggling with it, but am about to go to bed and watch a movie so I'm pretty sure I'll make it through tonight.
I have to work a plan. Tomorrow I'll go to an AA meeting. I just have to do whatever it takes to get through one day at a time. I know it gets better.