Originally Posted by MindfulMan

My primary care physician refused to treat me until I got a psych consult.

The psychiatrist (dual diagnosis clinic) took my history. The attending came in. She told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to stop drinking, that I would make myself seriously ill and possibly die if I continued the way I was going. I would require medical detox or I might have seizures and/or DTs, and following that a minimum of 30 days of inpatient treatment.

I went home and thought "No F'in' way.' Then I looked in the mirror, and a shell of former self looked back. Bloated, blotchy, with a cut on my head from a fall, unable to stand without support. I called around and got an intake two days later.

That morning I drank a bottle of excellent New Zealand pinot noir and checked in. 10 day benzo taper. It was mostly a fog.

All I decided at that point was to get detoxed, and take some time off from drinking and drugging until I could "go back to normal." At first I was going to stop while I was in rehab. Then 30 days after. Then 90 days after. A few days after my taper, I was sitting in a meeting and I just 'got' Step 1. Normal people don't wake up in rehab not knowing where they are. My life had become unmanageable. Once I started drinking again, it was just a matter of time before I ended up back there. Once I started, I was powerless to stop.

I decided to never drink again that moment. And I never will.