I lost my spleen when it was punctured by
broken ribs after I hit a concrete culvert
sitting on top the ground. Yep, I was less
than a mile away from home, wee hours
of the morning after a night at a local club
of drinking, dancing and music.
I spent the next 10 days in the hospital
pretty messed, YET, upon my return home,
about 3 months of recovery, I was right
back at the same club doing the same thing
and coming home in the wee hours.
That was Feb 1990 when the accident occurred
and come August 1990, I wanted to end my life
and downed a hand full of pills left off from my
accident not thinking about the loved ones id
leave behind.
My 2 little ones tried to wake me with no
avail until I heard a faint bell ringing near
my head, which was the phone. So I reached
for it and on the other end was my mother
in law calling asking where I was with the kids
for their last day of bible school.
My voice was slurred which raised red
flags as my MIL yelled at me to get out
of bed immediately. So I staggered to the
bathroom to throw up all that was in my
system and pull myself together.
Before I knew it, my husband was home
from work that morning trying to haul me
to the car to take me to the hospital to get
my stomach pumped. However, I fought him
off with all my strength and then all was
quiet as I was left alone for a little while.
Then, the authorities were there to escort
me to their car and taken to the hospital
because I wasn't willing to go with family.
As I walked passed family, I glared at
them with daggers in my eyes and hatred
in my voice as I said, I hate you and off I
went.
I sat in the back of the police car, fuming,
feelings of disgrace, failure, like a criminal
that wouldn't hurt a flea. Boy was I sick.
That first night I spent in the mental
ward waiting to be tested the next day
for my mental state of mind. Yes, that
was pretty scary as I watched many
folks either rocking back and forth,
shuffling across the floor, mumbling
to themselves, thinking to myself that
I surely wasn't that far gone.
I was tested and passed with them
evaluating me with just a drinking
problem. An addiction to alcohol
unable to control my drinking and was
ordered to remain in rehab for 2 weeks
in which I did until they wanted to
send me away to a halfway house for
6 weeks because I wasn't ready to return
to my own home environment and possible
relapse.
So, I begged and pleaded for them to allow
me to remain where I was to complete a 28
day recovery program there with a 6 week
outpatient aftercare program attached once
I was released.
When I completed my rehab program, I
continued on my journey in recovery attending
many meetings and incorporating the tools
and knowledge of my addiction and recovery
on a continuous daily bases to achieve success
in my own life addiction free for some 27 yrs
now.
I didn't chose rehab, but my family stepped
in back in 1990, placing me into the hands
of those capable of teaching me about my
addiction and hand me a program of recovery
to live the rest of my life by once I got sober.
I entered rehab on Aug. 10th and my first
full sober day was Aug. 11th which became
my Sobriety Birthday/Anniversary which,
but for the grace of my HP, Higher Power,
God of my understanding and the program
of AA, I haven't had the need to change
that date. For that, I am truly grateful for.
