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Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 2

Old 10-20-2017, 05:33 PM
  # 141 (permalink)  
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keep posting wax, we love you.

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Old 10-20-2017, 05:36 PM
  # 142 (permalink)  
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One more...:
https://youtu.be/xvARmk0cML0
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Old 10-20-2017, 05:56 PM
  # 143 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by badgerden View Post
keep posting wax, we love you.

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Omg. Seriously? I'm crying so hard.. to see someone say "we love you" is beyond.... my comprehension.
I love you too!
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Old 10-20-2017, 06:17 PM
  # 144 (permalink)  
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You are definitely part of the family waxfruit

D
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Old 10-20-2017, 06:58 PM
  # 145 (permalink)  
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Yes Wax - we do love you! Take care of yourself. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing....
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Old 10-20-2017, 07:29 PM
  # 146 (permalink)  
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OMG Wax! I can't even imagine. Please do not leave this site!
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Old 10-20-2017, 07:38 PM
  # 147 (permalink)  
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https://youtu.be/u4EMmvP8rWo
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Old 10-20-2017, 07:41 PM
  # 148 (permalink)  
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You guys are great!

Waiting on a call from my friends mom.
I had a weird feeling today.
Thank you all. I don't like attention. At all.
But I most appreciate you all .
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Old 10-20-2017, 07:42 PM
  # 149 (permalink)  
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Taking the call. I'm going to miss my friend.
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Old 10-20-2017, 08:29 PM
  # 150 (permalink)  
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waxfruit

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Old 10-20-2017, 09:44 PM
  # 151 (permalink)  
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It's horrible
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Old 10-20-2017, 11:44 PM
  # 152 (permalink)  
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https://youtu.be/nlaa-w5ayJs
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Old 10-21-2017, 12:32 AM
  # 153 (permalink)  
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3 stiff bloody mary's on a sunny Saturday afternoon. By myself. I have fallen again. AAAAAGHHH.
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Old 10-21-2017, 04:37 AM
  # 154 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Horatio48 View Post
3 stiff bloody mary's on a sunny Saturday afternoon. By myself. I have fallen again. AAAAAGHHH.
Hiding bottles never worked for me either (you found the bottle?)
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Old 10-21-2017, 04:50 AM
  # 155 (permalink)  
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waxfruit,

I'm sending you the biggest hug ever!

I had a close friend who just committed suicide this past August. It's a terrible thing to try to process. This is just one traumatic event after an accumulation of others that include an abusive family and repeated sexual assaults.

We all need to cope somehow. Drinking is just one way to numb out. I know that's my quick fix, unfortunately.

So sorry for your loss(es), and don't feel bad about the way you reacted! I hope you can find the inner strength to get back on track.



Originally Posted by waxfruit View Post
My day
My mom whispered at my door this morning "you are evil"
Then my friend committed suicide.
I drank.
I'm freaking out.
Not a good day.
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Old 10-21-2017, 06:26 AM
  # 156 (permalink)  
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Checkin in on the mornin of day 18.

Hope all is well with everyone

Have a great day all!

Brighten
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Old 10-21-2017, 06:29 AM
  # 157 (permalink)  
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Good Morning everyone.

Sorry to hear about your friend, Wax. That's tough. Sending positive thoughts your way.

I am starting on Day 3 today. I am still feeling the after effects of my relapse on Thursday night. My head feels very "heavy", but overall, I am feeling much better now. Since I don't really remember much of the night, I have to wonder how much I drank. I do know that I was drinking both wine and martinis....never a good combo even if you are a social or moderate drinker. Wine and vodka! Ugh. And in front of work colleagues to boot. I have to stop obsessing over that one...it's done and I can't change it. A friend said that we are much harder on ourselves than we probably need to be and that while I probably did embarrass myself, it may not have been as bad as I am thinking it is. All I can do is look forward. Anyway.....

I downloaded a few apps on my phone and hoping that it helps reinforce when I am out and can't check in here or on another site I am on.

I posted in the September class that I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We had been together about 16 months. It got nasty there for awhile, as after I ended it, he was emailing me and texting me all the time and then started saying some hurtful things to me. I can look back now and see that he was not good for me in a number of ways. I suspected he had an alcohol abuse problem from the beginning, but just ignored it. A lot of our social activity revolved around drinking and there was no argument from me. Once I started to cut back, I could see how much he was really drinking. All that said, I still went out and got hammered on Thursday night.

So today is another new day. I am meeting a friend for lunch and then going shopping for some new suede boots. I hate to shop, but really hoping I find a nice pair. Already have my dinner ready for tonight and going to settle in and watch some movies.

What's everyone else got planned for the weekend?

LHW
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Old 10-21-2017, 06:55 AM
  # 158 (permalink)  
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LHW, Horatio, waxfruit...

I had to keep telling myself there was nothing that would be made better by drinking. I had proved that over and over and that wasn't going to change.

I had to find other ways to deal with my pain, my losses, my grief. Sure alcohol gives a temporary numbing, but then the problem is still there and I still have to deal with it and let's face it, no one wants to be a 24/7 drunk to keep from feeling normal human emotions. It's just worse with the added hangover, regret, and self-loathing.

I often say I have pages of bad stuff that happened to me, too. Not to diminish other peoples' pain - but it is the Human Condition.

My mantra in early days was, "I don't drink. No matter what." Emotions ebb and flow like the sea. No bad thing lasts in intensity, and neither does a good thing. Life flows. I had to be the rock in the river.

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Old 10-21-2017, 08:04 AM
  # 159 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
LHW, Horatio, waxfruit...

I had to keep telling myself there was nothing that would be made better by drinking. I had proved that over and over and that wasn't going to change.

I had to find other ways to deal with my pain, my losses, my grief. Sure alcohol gives a temporary numbing, but then the problem is still there and I still have to deal with it and let's face it, no one wants to be a 24/7 drunk to keep from feeling normal human emotions. It's just worse with the added hangover, regret, and self-loathing.

I often say I have pages of bad stuff that happened to me, too. Not to diminish other peoples' pain - but it is the Human Condition.

My mantra in early days was, "I don't drink. No matter what." Emotions ebb and flow like the sea. No bad thing lasts in intensity, and neither does a good thing. Life flows. I had to be the rock in the river.

I feel much the same way ... day 3 here ..

Happy sober weekend everyone
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Old 10-21-2017, 09:19 AM
  # 160 (permalink)  
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I'm back and I'm okay.
I'm beating myself up, that's for sure. And I feel like sh**!!!!

I'm going to back track a little. My mom will always be a source to be reckoned with. She said some horrible things to me yesterday, I can't even repeat. It made me so sad, angry, and hurt. It was too much. I'll soon be out of here and I know drinking will only postpone that.
She definitely is a major trigger for me and I did think I was in safe zone, being sober for ten days helped with my irritability, things seemed to be getting better, and I did not react to her yesterday. Which was good but also made her flip the switch even harder on me.
I try to leave the house every day, but I felt I was burning myself out and wanted a peaceful day at home.
And about my friend, he called me in the middle of the night!
Someone told me he went threw with it. I'm happy he's here and getting the help he needs. To be honest tho, I don't think I would have picked up hearing the news. It was my mom. It's always been that way. That's when I have always fallen. She is not nice. At all. I also think she is suffering from a mental illness. The things she says and does. It's unbearable.
I moved in with my parents because I was in an abusive relationship and for the abuse to continue.... I haven't had time to heal.
Im started to overwhelm myself. I'll stop here.

Glad to have all of you!
I was a little scared and embarrassed to come back. I need to be here.
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