Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 2
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Linners, all my family has died. I drank after the last one, and continued drinking for seven years. When I got sober I still had to process those losses. The drinking just kept me in a loop of not wanting to feel and then trying to blot it out, then feeling like I wanted to die myself.
Alcohol just intensifies the depression and makes healing impossible.
Once I got sober I stopped feeling so sorry for myself. (Thank you, God.) I have a good life, even though things didn't happen the way I wanted when I was younger. I am really grateful for the things I do have. Health, home, insurance, a car, hot water, my eyesight, a full refrigerator just ten feet away.
There are many paths to acceptance of what has happened, and I'm certain your beloved father would want you to find joy and peace.
The first step is to put down the bottle. Nothing good that way lies.
Alcohol just intensifies the depression and makes healing impossible.
Once I got sober I stopped feeling so sorry for myself. (Thank you, God.) I have a good life, even though things didn't happen the way I wanted when I was younger. I am really grateful for the things I do have. Health, home, insurance, a car, hot water, my eyesight, a full refrigerator just ten feet away.
There are many paths to acceptance of what has happened, and I'm certain your beloved father would want you to find joy and peace.
The first step is to put down the bottle. Nothing good that way lies.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Originally Posted by Linners820
Hi guys. I haven’t been posting very much in this thread lately but I’m in need of some support. I feel like there is part of me that knows I have a problem, and another part of me that is very ashamed, embarrassed and resentful of that. I feel weak, and am hesitant to keep coming back each time I fail.
I guess I am feeling very alone in my life as well. I don’t have much family, and I’m painfully aware that the one relative I have and am close with may not have all that much longer. My father, my best friend, has been gone now 15 years and I still miss him like crazy. It hasn’t gotten any easier; the pain just sort of became a part of me.
I was seeing a counselor several times a month but am no longer able to afford to continue.
I just need someone to tell me everything’s going to be ok.
I guess I am feeling very alone in my life as well. I don’t have much family, and I’m painfully aware that the one relative I have and am close with may not have all that much longer. My father, my best friend, has been gone now 15 years and I still miss him like crazy. It hasn’t gotten any easier; the pain just sort of became a part of me.
I was seeing a counselor several times a month but am no longer able to afford to continue.
I just need someone to tell me everything’s going to be ok.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by Linners820
I never sought any kind of counseling or help to deal with the losses I experienced in my teens and 20’s. It’s like I was on autopilot. I didn’t enter counseling until my early 30s, but that was when the drinking started.
Losses are inevitable, and difficult - but I had to accept them. No other way around it, yeah?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,100
Originally Posted by bobdrop
Hey class of October 2017. I'm dissappointed to tell you that I'm starting over. I couldn't take the tension with my wife anymore. I love this class, Can I still be a member? This class has gotten me closer to getting past this than anything else. I had vodka and told my wife I was sorry for being such an ass lately. How do I get past that? She knew, but didn't say anything. Our generation? Class, I was just starting to get close to you. Will you have me back after this?
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Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Midwest
Posts: 58
Day 25 - Going strong and feeling good.
From my previous 6 month sober stint, I definitely feel better prepared for some of the roadblocks that come up this time around. First time sober I thought I would have this super sense of well being and calm - wrong. All the crap I had swept under the rug for 20+ years came bubbling to the top for me to deal with - didn't handle that well and turned back to my old friend vodka.
Anticipating some of these bumps in the road now and feel better prepared to deal with head on.
Stay strong October group! Ba Bam!
From my previous 6 month sober stint, I definitely feel better prepared for some of the roadblocks that come up this time around. First time sober I thought I would have this super sense of well being and calm - wrong. All the crap I had swept under the rug for 20+ years came bubbling to the top for me to deal with - didn't handle that well and turned back to my old friend vodka.
Anticipating some of these bumps in the road now and feel better prepared to deal with head on.
Stay strong October group! Ba Bam!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 247
Hello Group
Wanted to check in-day5 ... just feeling tired and lazy. Plan on chilling at home. Things have quieted down since my relapse. I always have made peace the day after a big fallout with my mom, but I'm realizing it's not okay, just because she's my mom, to treat me like sh**. Maybe I'm here to break that cycle of abuse in my life? Who knows. Haven't said a word to her and don't plan on it either.
So----
Glad you came back bobdrop!
Thinking about you Brighten Me Up. Hope everything is okay.
See y'all soon.
Peace.
Wanted to check in-day5 ... just feeling tired and lazy. Plan on chilling at home. Things have quieted down since my relapse. I always have made peace the day after a big fallout with my mom, but I'm realizing it's not okay, just because she's my mom, to treat me like sh**. Maybe I'm here to break that cycle of abuse in my life? Who knows. Haven't said a word to her and don't plan on it either.
So----
Glad you came back bobdrop!
Thinking about you Brighten Me Up. Hope everything is okay.
See y'all soon.
Peace.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
17:14 here...
Day 14...
Just checking in...
Going to my first AA meeting at 6pm, will report back.
Really don't want to go, I'm so tempted to sack it off, feel real anxious today with events that have happened with my ex so sitting in a circle of people opening up about all this is kind of freaking me out right now lol but I'm defo going.
I don't actually want a drink at the moment but I know soon enough I will and if I avoid the support I have on offer locally I'll fail AGAIN and end up back to square 1, so I shall go to this damn meeting and put a brave face on lol.
Not much else to say other than wishing everyone of you good vibes , strength and peace!
Will check in again later and bore you all with the low down on my 1st AA meeting
K x
Day 14...
Just checking in...
Going to my first AA meeting at 6pm, will report back.
Really don't want to go, I'm so tempted to sack it off, feel real anxious today with events that have happened with my ex so sitting in a circle of people opening up about all this is kind of freaking me out right now lol but I'm defo going.
I don't actually want a drink at the moment but I know soon enough I will and if I avoid the support I have on offer locally I'll fail AGAIN and end up back to square 1, so I shall go to this damn meeting and put a brave face on lol.
Not much else to say other than wishing everyone of you good vibes , strength and peace!
Will check in again later and bore you all with the low down on my 1st AA meeting
K x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
WAX - Pleased you're going too 
What time is it there now? What time's your meeting?
I'm dreading it, my ex hasn't stopped calling and texting all day, I'm just blanking him but my stomachs in knots, wish he would just leave me alone...
Kx
What time is it there now? What time's your meeting?
I'm dreading it, my ex hasn't stopped calling and texting all day, I'm just blanking him but my stomachs in knots, wish he would just leave me alone...
Kx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Kit, you don't have to say anything at an AA meeting. At all. Go at your speed. I think you'll find it is a relief just to be out among people who have overcome this. The chit chat and positive vibes will be good.
I would block the ex. Why are you still in contact if it's making you upset?
I would block the ex. Why are you still in contact if it's making you upset?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: London
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by LuLuBovary
Welcome Karamazov. Congrats on day 9, it's an accomplishment. Stay strong yourself and hope to see you around tomorrow....let us know how you're doing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
20:52...
OK so I'm back from the first AA meeting - It was quite a small group, very friendly, I felt real anxious at first, sat all tense dreading opening my mouth to speak which I didn't have to being the first time but I got it over with and just spoke openly about how fkd up things have been and how terrified I am of failing this time...
I still feel like it's not really my thing but I'm going to stick with it, anything to beat this monster that's determined to destroy my life!
I got a few numbers and they stressed to me to phone them if I feel I'm going to pick a drink up, very kind people and very supportive, glad I went.
It's still all a bit alien to me but like I say, anything to beat this. There's another one tomorrow night, different place and probs a bit different to this one so I'm going to get to that one too, probably just pick the one I prefer and do one a week.
Everyone in there says get to them all, go to one as many times a week as you can but that's defo not for me. SR and one meeting a week will suit me I reckon.
How is everyone else doing?
Also, the ex is now blocked! I'm tunnel vision on my self at the moment, not in a selfish way but I'm willing and wanting now to do what ever it takes to get well and happy and to STAY SOBER!!!!
Peace and Love to you all!!!!
K x
OK so I'm back from the first AA meeting - It was quite a small group, very friendly, I felt real anxious at first, sat all tense dreading opening my mouth to speak which I didn't have to being the first time but I got it over with and just spoke openly about how fkd up things have been and how terrified I am of failing this time...
I still feel like it's not really my thing but I'm going to stick with it, anything to beat this monster that's determined to destroy my life!
I got a few numbers and they stressed to me to phone them if I feel I'm going to pick a drink up, very kind people and very supportive, glad I went.
It's still all a bit alien to me but like I say, anything to beat this. There's another one tomorrow night, different place and probs a bit different to this one so I'm going to get to that one too, probably just pick the one I prefer and do one a week.
Everyone in there says get to them all, go to one as many times a week as you can but that's defo not for me. SR and one meeting a week will suit me I reckon.
How is everyone else doing?
Also, the ex is now blocked! I'm tunnel vision on my self at the moment, not in a selfish way but I'm willing and wanting now to do what ever it takes to get well and happy and to STAY SOBER!!!!
Peace and Love to you all!!!!
K x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Caledon, ON
Posts: 130
Alright, so advice time class. Here's one that will certainly endear me to the women in the group (sigh), my wife still doesn't know the extent to which I was drinking. I am three weeks sober today and last night took a big step, and poured out the little bit of secret booze I had left. Why did I still have it? Damned panic attacks every time I thought of it not being there. I am passed that and can accept I just can not drink anymore, ever.
That said, I'd like to have the support of my wife, but I am so damned embarrassed to admit to her how bad I'd gotten, and if I am totally honest I am scared how she may react, since I've basically been lying by omission for 8 years. I think she will support me (we have what I would describe as a good marriage, my drinking should not be a reflection of her at all). I love her very, very much.
Questions? Ask away.
Advice?
That said, I'd like to have the support of my wife, but I am so damned embarrassed to admit to her how bad I'd gotten, and if I am totally honest I am scared how she may react, since I've basically been lying by omission for 8 years. I think she will support me (we have what I would describe as a good marriage, my drinking should not be a reflection of her at all). I love her very, very much.
Questions? Ask away.
Advice?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
rmeatgt350 - Congrats on 3 weeks and throwing away the last bit!
Sit your wife down and tell her the truth.
If you love each other and as you say have a good bond / marriage then being honest is the way forward, the only way!
You can then relieve yourself of the burden of the dishonesty and allow her to support you, it will be a relief and will make your relationship stronger.
Talk to her openly as you are on here and it will be the best thing you do!
Even if she seems a little upset, angry, confused at first, this will pass and she will respect you for being so honest
K x
Sit your wife down and tell her the truth.
If you love each other and as you say have a good bond / marriage then being honest is the way forward, the only way!
You can then relieve yourself of the burden of the dishonesty and allow her to support you, it will be a relief and will make your relationship stronger.
Talk to her openly as you are on here and it will be the best thing you do!
Even if she seems a little upset, angry, confused at first, this will pass and she will respect you for being so honest
K x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Caledon, ON
Posts: 130
Originally Posted by Kit2017
rmeatgt350 - Congrats on 3 weeks and throwing away the last bit!
Sit your wife down and tell her the truth.
If you love each other and as you say have a good bond / marriage then being honest is the way forward, the only way!
You can then relieve yourself of the burden of the dishonesty and allow her to support you, it will be a relief and will make your relationship stronger.
Talk to her openly as you are on here and it will be the best thing you do!
Even if she seems a little upset, angry, confused at first, this will pass and she will respect you for being so honest
K x
Sit your wife down and tell her the truth.
If you love each other and as you say have a good bond / marriage then being honest is the way forward, the only way!
You can then relieve yourself of the burden of the dishonesty and allow her to support you, it will be a relief and will make your relationship stronger.
Talk to her openly as you are on here and it will be the best thing you do!
Even if she seems a little upset, angry, confused at first, this will pass and she will respect you for being so honest
K x
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