Holiday Edition Stay sober Weekender July 4th
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 581
She was a mess, and she inadvertently brought up things that reminded me of the abuse from my ex (he abused me, then I have to send my son there, who then got abused until the police gave stopped it, thanks courts). So, it was like every single freaking button got pushed. I did not even think about it. Just grabbed a glass. I was too cocky.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 581
But, if the bus will still have me, I will be back on. If nothing else, Mr. Fireman came through and proved himself, as I called him upset (and drunk) and he is being awesome. Who needs booze when you have Mr Fireman right?!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: WI
Posts: 96
Great weather outside and I'm ready for my 3 day weekend (gotta work tomorrow, but have off Fri-Sun). My goals are to relax, enjoy my time off and get outside and enjoy the weather. Independence Day this year will mark my independence from alcohol and I'm ready for this. Staying very, very positive! 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 581
Thank you everyone! This is my second time trying to stop and I recognize now it is the things I do not expect that get me...so I need to expect the unexpected. So, I am brushing myself off and jumping right back on...I mean, I am not even a wine drinker! I did it because I just had a flood of freaky memories. It was truly horrible, and I felt bad for my friend as she ended up counselling me and feeling bad (she had no idea of the extent of the abuse me and my son endured) and I was supposed to be there for her. Tomorrow I will call and arrange to see someone, as clearly I am not as over things as I thought I was. I think that might help. I am one of those people who everyone turns to, but I never turn to anyone. This has shown me, I need someone to turn to. I am finally going to give up my British stiff upper lip and ask for help on the things I am clearly self medicating.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 15,314
Wecome AutumnWillow
It's OK to trip up LearningAgain as long as you get back up again and your right - stiff upper upper lip is not the best thin in these situations
Enjoy James Taylor tomorrow LBrain
Biblical pic BigS
It's OK to trip up LearningAgain as long as you get back up again and your right - stiff upper upper lip is not the best thin in these situations
Enjoy James Taylor tomorrow LBrain
Biblical pic BigS
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 581
Thank you again everyone! I will not derail the bus, so will step off for tonight. I have a friend who knows the situation coming over, who knows the whole situation, to help me regroup and I will be back tomorrow, stronger and wiser. I am disappointed in myself, but equally know dealing with this will only make me stronger. I will not allow my ex this power over me by memories.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,436
Ole JT himself in The Olden Days.
'Fire & Rain' starts at Time Marker 3:45 for those just wanting a sample Tune after the surprising opener.
- James Taylor On BBC ~ 1970 -
.
'Fire & Rain' starts at Time Marker 3:45 for those just wanting a sample Tune after the surprising opener.
- James Taylor On BBC ~ 1970 -
.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
SAO - Rough end for England tonight. Yeowch. Would have been nice to see them in the final against the powerhouse Yanks. Tough way to lose in extra time on an own goal.
LearningAgain - My (unsolicited) advice is to take a deep breath and slow down a notch. Or maybe 5 notches. Dating, drinking, analyzing....it's really a tornado of activity, and hopping off this speeding merry-go-round might be a good idea. We are always looking for that new "fix", whether it's a new relationship, new drug, or new dosage. I never in a zillion years thought I'd end up in a bare-bones rehab clinic, but when I did I made a crucial change that really helped me. I decided to try and be the "good kid" for a change. Some people snuck in booze, snuck in drugs, hid cell phones and skipped meetings. Not me. I went to every damn class, got there 5 minutes early. Showed up for breakfast on time. Did the work that was assigned to me. I'd spent years trying to cut corners and get everything I wanted without doing the work. Maybe it was time for me to actually do the work and see what happened....it still didn't completely work, because as soon as I got out of rehab I went to a bar (just for lunch) and then smoked marijuana for 6 months hoping that would be the cure. But, something stuck with me because I never did take a drink and I did quit all substances not long after. It's been a long climb to get back to .500 and I am going to keep using what got me here. Maybe you can find the "good kid" inside you and start doing things the hard way. It's worth it.
You can't go from being an alcoholic with a messy situation to having a fairy tale life in the blink of an eye. There's work to be done. Stop wasting time with the distractions on the side of the road, and focus on what you are doing here. This is about sobriety, first and foremost. All else is just window dressing. This is your life, and you've shown that you want to own it. Do the work and earn the fantastic life you deserve.
LearningAgain - My (unsolicited) advice is to take a deep breath and slow down a notch. Or maybe 5 notches. Dating, drinking, analyzing....it's really a tornado of activity, and hopping off this speeding merry-go-round might be a good idea. We are always looking for that new "fix", whether it's a new relationship, new drug, or new dosage. I never in a zillion years thought I'd end up in a bare-bones rehab clinic, but when I did I made a crucial change that really helped me. I decided to try and be the "good kid" for a change. Some people snuck in booze, snuck in drugs, hid cell phones and skipped meetings. Not me. I went to every damn class, got there 5 minutes early. Showed up for breakfast on time. Did the work that was assigned to me. I'd spent years trying to cut corners and get everything I wanted without doing the work. Maybe it was time for me to actually do the work and see what happened....it still didn't completely work, because as soon as I got out of rehab I went to a bar (just for lunch) and then smoked marijuana for 6 months hoping that would be the cure. But, something stuck with me because I never did take a drink and I did quit all substances not long after. It's been a long climb to get back to .500 and I am going to keep using what got me here. Maybe you can find the "good kid" inside you and start doing things the hard way. It's worth it.
You can't go from being an alcoholic with a messy situation to having a fairy tale life in the blink of an eye. There's work to be done. Stop wasting time with the distractions on the side of the road, and focus on what you are doing here. This is about sobriety, first and foremost. All else is just window dressing. This is your life, and you've shown that you want to own it. Do the work and earn the fantastic life you deserve.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 581
Thank you, Big Sombrero. I know my personality and am going to step back. I am not going on a bender, I stopped after that first few sips. I am grateful now to my friend, because I now see the road bump. I am actually feeling positive because I stopped quickly, but it forced me to see I am not over the issues in my past. I actually feel stronger now than ever
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hey everyone! I'm back from work, from an AA meeting, from getting kids into bed. What a day. So very little time to relax by myself before crawling into bed. But there's people to say hello to. To support. Ice cream to be eaten.
LA, I just want to give you a hug and tell you not to beat yourself up. Use it as a learning experience. I'm with BigS here. Take a step back from the distractions. For so very, very long I looked to other things and other people and other situations to fix what was broken inside. To bandage the wounds. To fill the holes in my soul. The answer is in me. Other people aren't a patch though they can help get us through it. Hang in there and I'm so very glad you are on the bus. Hugs.
My AA meeting was actually quite good. The format of this particular meeting is "the ask it basket." People write out a question and put it in and then you draw a question, read it aloud and answer it. Now this meeting in particular tonight had a lot of people. Three quarters of whom came on a bus from a half way house. Half way from prison, jail or rehab. A lot of court slips were signed. The questions read like threads on the newcomers forum. "Will I always be obsessed with alcohol?" "Why am I advised not to get into a relationship in the first year of sobriety" and yes, that was an actual question tonight. One question "why is it easier for me to stay sober when I'm supervised like in prison or in rehab and when I'm alone, I relapse?" People were so new but I liked it. It made me think. And BECAUSE I stick around here on SR and read and think and post, I was able to share my own experience with other people. Just honestly wish Mr. Ruby would get it. He just walked in from his quick trip to buy "cigarettes " after hitting me up this morning for ten dollars to buy bait for his fishing this morning. He's broke. Ten dollars can't buy both cigarettes and bait. Sigh.
So. I'm grateful for my sobriety. Im grateful I have you all. I'm grateful period.
LA, I just want to give you a hug and tell you not to beat yourself up. Use it as a learning experience. I'm with BigS here. Take a step back from the distractions. For so very, very long I looked to other things and other people and other situations to fix what was broken inside. To bandage the wounds. To fill the holes in my soul. The answer is in me. Other people aren't a patch though they can help get us through it. Hang in there and I'm so very glad you are on the bus. Hugs.
My AA meeting was actually quite good. The format of this particular meeting is "the ask it basket." People write out a question and put it in and then you draw a question, read it aloud and answer it. Now this meeting in particular tonight had a lot of people. Three quarters of whom came on a bus from a half way house. Half way from prison, jail or rehab. A lot of court slips were signed. The questions read like threads on the newcomers forum. "Will I always be obsessed with alcohol?" "Why am I advised not to get into a relationship in the first year of sobriety" and yes, that was an actual question tonight. One question "why is it easier for me to stay sober when I'm supervised like in prison or in rehab and when I'm alone, I relapse?" People were so new but I liked it. It made me think. And BECAUSE I stick around here on SR and read and think and post, I was able to share my own experience with other people. Just honestly wish Mr. Ruby would get it. He just walked in from his quick trip to buy "cigarettes " after hitting me up this morning for ten dollars to buy bait for his fishing this morning. He's broke. Ten dollars can't buy both cigarettes and bait. Sigh.
So. I'm grateful for my sobriety. Im grateful I have you all. I'm grateful period.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'm grateful that someone can ask me to do something for them and I follow through with it. My brother asked me to see if two Doctor Who magazines were available to buy, for my niece's birthday. Not only did I remember that he asked me to check, I ordered them. I also ordered something for my niece and bought myself a pair of shoes. Ok. So maybe I had additional, selfish, incentive but I did it. The old me would have forgotten until the very last, too late minute and then come up with a lame "the dog ate my homework" reason for not following through.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Domhan
Posts: 1,974
Morning all,
That sounds like a really interesting meeting Ruby. I'm glad you are grateful and had the opportunity to help some newcomers.
I hope you are safely back on the bus LA. I'm still early days and take staying sober very seriously, which for me means just staying away from people and places that are risky. From what I have read from all the good folk on here, I am going to allow myself at least a year.
Awoke early. We have the big 20 week scan today. I think Mrs B is nervous. Her sleep has been disturbed. The staff in the hospital we picked are very kind. This is all very random and chaotic.
We have been invited to a colleagues wedding this saturday. Think I will give it a miss. Don't feel up to it.
B
That sounds like a really interesting meeting Ruby. I'm glad you are grateful and had the opportunity to help some newcomers.
I hope you are safely back on the bus LA. I'm still early days and take staying sober very seriously, which for me means just staying away from people and places that are risky. From what I have read from all the good folk on here, I am going to allow myself at least a year.
Awoke early. We have the big 20 week scan today. I think Mrs B is nervous. Her sleep has been disturbed. The staff in the hospital we picked are very kind. This is all very random and chaotic.
We have been invited to a colleagues wedding this saturday. Think I will give it a miss. Don't feel up to it.
B
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