Thank you everyone! This is my second time trying to stop and I recognize now it is the things I do not expect that get me...so I need to expect the unexpected. So, I am brushing myself off and jumping right back on...I mean, I am not even a wine drinker! I did it because I just had a flood of freaky memories. It was truly horrible, and I felt bad for my friend as she ended up counselling me and feeling bad (she had no idea of the extent of the abuse me and my son endured) and I was supposed to be there for her. Tomorrow I will call and arrange to see someone, as clearly I am not as over things as I thought I was. I think that might help. I am one of those people who everyone turns to, but I never turn to anyone. This has shown me, I need someone to turn to. I am finally going to give up my British stiff upper lip and ask for help on the things I am clearly self medicating.