Holiday Edition Stay sober Weekender July 4th
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Morning all ,
a new day a new dawn , we have our sober bikes at the ready and can carry on with the journey .
It's not a race , there is no fixed destination , sometimes we crash out our bikes , spin them out , hit a pothole , drive deliberately into the ditch ( we've seen it all ) but that is no reason to stay flat on our back on the tarmac .
Dust yourself off , come join us as we don't move fast , enjoying the journey as we do , trying to point out the rough road to each other .
I ring my bicycle bell for you *ring_ring*
The first ring is the bell of mindfulness , stop , what are you doing , what are you feeling , calm down , slow down … this is no race , it is the journey of your life and the final point is somewhere you will get to , whatever you do in the meantime , so let's enjoy the time we have , sober and in clarity , heal and make things better one day at a time , no grand plans , no big rush , just progress .
The second ring is the freedom bell and it's calling out to you , freedom from drink and drugs is available and possible for you
m
a new day a new dawn , we have our sober bikes at the ready and can carry on with the journey .
It's not a race , there is no fixed destination , sometimes we crash out our bikes , spin them out , hit a pothole , drive deliberately into the ditch ( we've seen it all ) but that is no reason to stay flat on our back on the tarmac .
Dust yourself off , come join us as we don't move fast , enjoying the journey as we do , trying to point out the rough road to each other .
I ring my bicycle bell for you *ring_ring*
The first ring is the bell of mindfulness , stop , what are you doing , what are you feeling , calm down , slow down … this is no race , it is the journey of your life and the final point is somewhere you will get to , whatever you do in the meantime , so let's enjoy the time we have , sober and in clarity , heal and make things better one day at a time , no grand plans , no big rush , just progress .
The second ring is the freedom bell and it's calling out to you , freedom from drink and drugs is available and possible for you
m
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 581
Hey everyone *waves embarassed*.
You all are so wise. This has been a really rough week, and I thinking all my joking about Mr. Fireman etc is because I was ignoring the other problems that were mounting around me. I am the "go to" person for all my friends, because I always want to help everyone, and last night I sat and really thought about things and I think I bury my problems and feel better by dealing with everyone elses. It is part of my nature, but I need to focus on me right now.
I think until I deal with issues, this is going to keep happening to me. So, I will see someone myself.
Today I feel strong again I am going to handcuff myself here, in my bus seat - I have moved to the middle of the bus, cos I saw a FB meme that the normal people sit there!!! That way I am not at the back with naughty kids, and not at the front, where I can easily jump off!
You all are so wise. This has been a really rough week, and I thinking all my joking about Mr. Fireman etc is because I was ignoring the other problems that were mounting around me. I am the "go to" person for all my friends, because I always want to help everyone, and last night I sat and really thought about things and I think I bury my problems and feel better by dealing with everyone elses. It is part of my nature, but I need to focus on me right now.
I think until I deal with issues, this is going to keep happening to me. So, I will see someone myself.
Today I feel strong again
I am going to handcuff myself here, in my bus seat - I have moved to the middle of the bus, cos I saw a FB meme that the normal people sit there!!! That way I am not at the back with naughty kids, and not at the front, where I can easily jump off!
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Good to skip things like that Mr. B.
Must be awesome to see the little one on scan. If things are feeling a bit chaotic then listen to yourself. Welp... I think you are. That's very good.
As for me? My nephew whom I made an explicit invite to my home sends me a FB message. "Hey uncle Kenny. I am gonna be up in Maine next week seeing my GF god child and I would like to see you too. Also just want you to know I am very happy for you what the Supreme Court did last week." Hmmmmmmm. So you made plans to come see someone totally unrelated to you and I am an afterthought to see as well? The old two birds and I am the second bird? Busy. Sorry. Maybe another time.
Not one family member has ever come visit me ever. Like as in I am nearly 50 and not one has made any attempt to step foot in my home. And I have invited many many times. And now you want to swing by and say hello? Eff no.
Sunny and warm. Not hot. No humidity. Maine is wonderful in the summer.
K
Must be awesome to see the little one on scan. If things are feeling a bit chaotic then listen to yourself. Welp... I think you are. That's very good.
As for me? My nephew whom I made an explicit invite to my home sends me a FB message. "Hey uncle Kenny. I am gonna be up in Maine next week seeing my GF god child and I would like to see you too. Also just want you to know I am very happy for you what the Supreme Court did last week." Hmmmmmmm. So you made plans to come see someone totally unrelated to you and I am an afterthought to see as well? The old two birds and I am the second bird? Busy. Sorry. Maybe another time.
Not one family member has ever come visit me ever. Like as in I am nearly 50 and not one has made any attempt to step foot in my home. And I have invited many many times. And now you want to swing by and say hello? Eff no.
Sunny and warm. Not hot. No humidity. Maine is wonderful in the summer.
K
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Good morning everyone. Last day of the work week. Hopefully it's mundane and I leave early and come home early. I've already received notice that my son's music class is rescheduled for next week. That was welcome news.
Behan, the scans are really cool. And amazing that you see the baby that you will be greeting eventually.
Ken, I'm sorry. It sounds painful to have family like that. You'll do what's best for you at this moment.
LA, pretend the bus is a charm on a bracelet and rather than handcuff yourself to the bus, carry it around with you, wherever you go.
I'm running late again! Agh! See you all later
Behan, the scans are really cool. And amazing that you see the baby that you will be greeting eventually.
Ken, I'm sorry. It sounds painful to have family like that. You'll do what's best for you at this moment.
LA, pretend the bus is a charm on a bracelet and rather than handcuff yourself to the bus, carry it around with you, wherever you go.
I'm running late again! Agh! See you all later
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Thats pretty harsh uncle K ,
what depth of emotional relationship have you had with the kid before when you were drinking and drugging ?
Rejecting someone before I opened myself to the risk of getting or being hurt is something that kept me in my big Lonely ivory tower for a long time ..
Risk it i say and keep on risking it .. I can guarantee 100% failure if you never try .. perhaps 10% success or 5% hit rate would be a decent return ?
If i want my life to change i got to take the risks , risk and take the pain .
m
My new bike BTW :-
what depth of emotional relationship have you had with the kid before when you were drinking and drugging ?
Rejecting someone before I opened myself to the risk of getting or being hurt is something that kept me in my big Lonely ivory tower for a long time ..
Risk it i say and keep on risking it .. I can guarantee 100% failure if you never try .. perhaps 10% success or 5% hit rate would be a decent return ?
If i want my life to change i got to take the risks , risk and take the pain .
m
My new bike BTW :-
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
Originally Posted by Ruby2 
... pretend the bus is a charm on a bracelet and rather than handcuff yourself to the bus, carry it around with you, wherever you go.
Now I want a charm bracelet. With a bus charm!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I needd to reply before I catch up.
Ruby, great call on the charm bracelet...
Uncle Kenny, I have to agree with Uncle Mex on this one. To say no to a visit because he is parlaying the trip seems a bit self centered. We really don't know what goes on in other people's lives. Who knows the real reason he is making this trip in the first place. Maybe she has his b- things that rhymes with walls - locked up and takes them with her everywhere she goes... shrugs
cool bike mex...
learningagain - I'm in full agreement with Mr Sombrero. I also think you need to keep the thing with Mr fireman on a casual level for now. With your triggers from your last relationship and still struggling to stay sober, the last thing you need is another man in your life. Honest. You are still too fragile and you need to put more focus on staying sober.
It's also not fair to Mr Fireman that you still carry this emotional connection to your ex. Even though it is past and you don't want it back, you're still not over it. Trust me, when I was "dating" after my divorce the last thing I wanted to hear about was her ex and all that baggage. Be honest with the guy and keep it very casual. Friendly casual.
Ruby, great call on the charm bracelet...
Uncle Kenny, I have to agree with Uncle Mex on this one. To say no to a visit because he is parlaying the trip seems a bit self centered. We really don't know what goes on in other people's lives. Who knows the real reason he is making this trip in the first place. Maybe she has his b- things that rhymes with walls - locked up and takes them with her everywhere she goes... shrugs
cool bike mex...
learningagain - I'm in full agreement with Mr Sombrero. I also think you need to keep the thing with Mr fireman on a casual level for now. With your triggers from your last relationship and still struggling to stay sober, the last thing you need is another man in your life. Honest. You are still too fragile and you need to put more focus on staying sober.
It's also not fair to Mr Fireman that you still carry this emotional connection to your ex. Even though it is past and you don't want it back, you're still not over it. Trust me, when I was "dating" after my divorce the last thing I wanted to hear about was her ex and all that baggage. Be honest with the guy and keep it very casual. Friendly casual.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Gee Ken,
I'm with the the LB and Mex on this one. That "eff you" attitude doesn't sound like you. Sounds like an old wound is rearing it's head. Your nephew is in town and would like to visit you. Nothing more, nothing less. Say hello, grab a cup of coffee, or even just a handshake and a hug. Doesn't need to be a big deal. Might make you feel better about things. Your call buddy, do what's best.
Busy day at the old officino. Doing some interviews today, we're hiring some new folk and I'm separating the wheat from the chaff! Have three calls today and I'm also checking references. On that note, gotta run. Have a great Thursday all.
I'm with the the LB and Mex on this one. That "eff you" attitude doesn't sound like you. Sounds like an old wound is rearing it's head. Your nephew is in town and would like to visit you. Nothing more, nothing less. Say hello, grab a cup of coffee, or even just a handshake and a hug. Doesn't need to be a big deal. Might make you feel better about things. Your call buddy, do what's best.
Busy day at the old officino. Doing some interviews today, we're hiring some new folk and I'm separating the wheat from the chaff! Have three calls today and I'm also checking references. On that note, gotta run. Have a great Thursday all.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'm back. Arrived at work.
Weas, I'm also of the same opinion as Mex, Brain and BigS on nephew but they phrased it better than me. He could be as uncertain about you as you are him and it's an awkwardly phrased olive branch. He could be hedging his bets and saving face by having a back up plan to his trip if you say no, by trotting out the GF and godson.
OK. I have to go in. Bleah. Catch up later.
Weas, I'm also of the same opinion as Mex, Brain and BigS on nephew but they phrased it better than me. He could be as uncertain about you as you are him and it's an awkwardly phrased olive branch. He could be hedging his bets and saving face by having a back up plan to his trip if you say no, by trotting out the GF and godson.
OK. I have to go in. Bleah. Catch up later.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Hi Ken - I totally get where you are coming from. The only time I see my family is if they are on there way to something else and happen to be in Dallas. I have invited all of them to come visit, but not one has unless they are here otherwise. It used to bother me big time, but over the years I just tried to soften my heart and accept how things are. If they say they are in town and want to stop by, if I am not busy I say OK. It is not ideal, but it is something. I used to feel slighted, but not anymore. It has more to do with THEM than with me. I hope you will see your nephew. Who knows, maybe a visit will strengthen the relationship and he will visit you more often. I am sorry you are hurting. (((Ken)))
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Ok folks. That does not sound like ken. I know. But I felt I needed to vent. My brother has hurt me very bad with things over our entire life. His kids are amazing individuals. I respect and care for them very much.
I will certainly have him over and take them out to a nice meal. I think she is the one for him and I would like to meet her.
Holy cow the weather is stunning today!!!!! I am heading to the beach. Plan on snapping a pic or two to share.
I made a wonderful fresh salsa with cherry tomatoes, cucumber, fresh roasted corn, orange pepper, red onion, and a fresh squeezed lemon, lime juices with a touch of honey and balsamic. Wowz!!!!
Thank you for caring and the solid advice. I never really would have said no. This is a chance to make things good between us even if not my brother.
Uncle Kenny
I will certainly have him over and take them out to a nice meal. I think she is the one for him and I would like to meet her.
Holy cow the weather is stunning today!!!!! I am heading to the beach. Plan on snapping a pic or two to share.
I made a wonderful fresh salsa with cherry tomatoes, cucumber, fresh roasted corn, orange pepper, red onion, and a fresh squeezed lemon, lime juices with a touch of honey and balsamic. Wowz!!!!
Thank you for caring and the solid advice. I never really would have said no. This is a chance to make things good between us even if not my brother.
Uncle Kenny
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Ken, I don't know what is the background between you and your nephew, but I wonder if you could give him a chance? It would be a risk, but, maybe it would forge a bond between the two of you.
I hope everyone has a great and safe July 4th weekend.
I hope everyone has a great and safe July 4th weekend.
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