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Old 06-12-2010, 06:33 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi Grace please dont give up I like youself went sober and then fell I was so ashamed I couldent post here but when I did I got nothing but kind words and support.I feel your pain but dont be ashamed start new and sronger from your experience.Here for support anytime praing for you........................jo
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Old 06-12-2010, 06:42 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Thanks, I'm not giving up. I've started afresh from today. I'm just so upset.
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Old 06-12-2010, 06:42 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Dear Grace,

I so so sorry..and especially to see how distressed you are about this.. Please don't beat yourself up over this: you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going :-) As Mamm said, you've almost hit the one month mark which shows you CAN do it!! We are all here for you and you have much more 'experience' under your belt now after doing so well - you have a lot of stress on your plate now with your full house and everything which can't be easy.

Believe in yourself and go for your day two now - we'll be waiting for you :-)



Big hugs and lotzaluv,

Almath
xxxxxxx
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Old 06-12-2010, 07:09 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Hi Grace,

Originally Posted by disgrace View Post
Thank you Mamm. I'm so sorry. I just dont know what came over me. I'm so upset and I need you all so much right now. I'm sorry.

This is why I drunk time and time again, despite trying so hard not to.

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness, with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink. ~ p24 Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book
If this is why you drink too, then you will be picking up the drink again, despite whatever resolve you have now not to.

Do I remember you saying you are going all inclusive on holiday soon? I know I couldn't do that and stay sober until I had found the solution to my problem in AA. I tried doing it my way before but with as much booze as I wanted to drink and it being free, however determined I was not to drink, I started on the wine before the case was unpacked.

The 12 Step program removes the mental obsession to drink so the alcoholic no longer has to fight to stay sober. It just happens.

Aside from the program of AA, there is a fellowship of people there who will welcome you with open arms, with love, understanding and acceptance. You will not be the most hated person on the planet or have to feel any disgrace.

Best wishes in your journey to find a sober life.
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Old 06-12-2010, 08:34 AM
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Love the new name.

Grace 2 succeed.
Grace 2 beat it.
Grace 2 get up and never give up.

7
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Old 06-12-2010, 09:10 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Grace is SO much better than disgrace - especially when it's with a capital letter!

Grace, we are what we think about all day long and where the mind goes, the feet will follow.

Please be pro-active in reading, learning about how to change your thought-process to a positive one; especially as it relates to how you see yourself.

If we gave as much recognition to our good qualities as we did to our bad ones, we'd be amazed.

Doing so is not being egotistical or selfish; it's called self-help.

Try starting with this. Complete each sentence:

I deserve to be...
I want to be...
I can be...
I will be...
I am.

Be positive and remember...You matter, no matter what.
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Old 06-12-2010, 09:28 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Hey Grace

We are all struggling here and it seems very hard at times. But like everyone here is saying your here today talking about it and this is great.


Cheer up! it is Saturday and you can go to bed tonight sober and have an even better Sunday

If I may ask, because I am also new in recovery. How did the first drink happen?
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Old 06-12-2010, 10:04 AM
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Hi Grace!! Please don't be too hard on yourself hun....this is a journey...not a destination.....I faultered quite a few times...I just had to say I'm sick and tired of being tired and sick!!! I have been sober almost 5 months, and still have moments where my alcoholic brains wants to drink..."just a few..you can handle it" and it drives me crazy....I just pray,pray,and pray...I don't know what your belief system is, but praying to a HP works wonders for me...also I find eating regularly helps with the cravings...peanut butter went out of my house so fast in the first couple of months!!

Wishing you peace today Grace xo
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Old 06-12-2010, 10:29 AM
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Grace
When I think of you trying the way you do, I think of Graceful, Gracious, Great. Take those words and carry them with you because that is who you really are.
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Old 06-12-2010, 11:17 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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The fist drink happened because I was weak and called at the off licence an bought a bottle of wine. Couldn't even wait till evening to drink it!

I am so upset at hurting my loved ones yet again! The looks on their faces says it all. I've just got home from driving round because I dreaded my partner coming home from work. He is home now, but can't even look at me and why would he even want to? I just dont know what to do any more. WHY WHY WHY did I do it again? I need to sort my life out and I'm going to try my best to do so.
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Old 06-12-2010, 11:27 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Grace,

We are all here to support you.

You never have to go through this again.
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Old 06-12-2010, 11:51 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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I agree with Severian,

'Grace' describes your posts much better than your previous name.

x
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Old 06-12-2010, 12:34 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Grace2 View Post
The fist drink happened because I was weak and called at the off licence an bought a bottle of wine. Couldn't even wait till evening to drink it!

I am so upset at hurting my loved ones yet again! The looks on their faces says it all. I've just got home from driving round because I dreaded my partner coming home from work. He is home now, but can't even look at me and why would he even want to? I just dont know what to do any more. WHY WHY WHY did I do it again? I need to sort my life out and I'm going to try my best to do so.
The first few days I was off the drink I know I would have done the same as you. Because in the past before this time around I also did the very same thing.

I took my wallet, separated the stuff that I needed like a license etc etc and then all of my CC cards, debit cards, cash went into another wallet. In the morning before work I made sure NOT to bring that with me.

Hard to pick something up on the way home when you have no cash
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Old 06-12-2010, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by bcboy View Post
The first few days I was off the drink I know I would have done the same as you. Because in the past before this time around I also did the very same thing.

I took my wallet, separated the stuff that I needed like a license etc etc and then all of my CC cards, debit cards, cash went into another wallet. In the morning before work I made sure NOT to bring that with me.

Hard to pick something up on the way home when you have no cash
Yes that is so true, i limited my AH as well, but he works for himself and has to buy goods for clients, so he couldnt leave home without his cc, although i noticed as he is drinking secretly, he only buys his alcohol cash, as i would pick up on it via cc slips. Even when I check his wallet he has limited cash amount, but no cash slips, (oh he makes an excuse, they dont give slips!) and so he thinks i dont know, but i still do know he is buying it! Hard one,, if u had an emergency, what would u do?
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Old 06-12-2010, 01:59 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Yes, I have to do the food shopping etc, but in future I'll make sure someone comes with me.

Im just so gutted with myself. I want to say sorry to my family, but I know they'll just say they've heard it all before-2 weeks ago!
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Old 06-12-2010, 03:20 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Thank you all so much for your support. I dont know what I would have done without S.R.
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Old 06-12-2010, 03:40 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Grace, I'm just reading this now - and everyone else has already said the good stuff. I'll just add that I admire you for coming here and telling the truth. How easy to just pretend it never happened.

You have a strong desire to get well, and you will. The normies don't & can't understand how hard it is for us to get on the right track. I failed many times to stick to my promises, and some people became disgusted and lost faith in me. When I realized that, it caused me to drink even more. The day I stopped worrying what others thought and focused on myself was the day I began to heal. Either they would try to understand that I never meant to hurt them, or they wouldn't. I had no control over that. I hoped they would love me enough to move past the bad times in my life and believe in me once again. Regardless, you can only focus on your recovery for now. You never have to go through this again, Grace. We believe in you and know you can triumph over this disease.
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Old 06-12-2010, 03:47 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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I like your new name much better - much more fitting Grace

D
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Old 06-12-2010, 04:14 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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Hevyn, you made me cry! Mind you I am rather emotional right now. Thank you for your lovely words. Gxx
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Old 06-12-2010, 10:16 PM
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I just like to say as a normie, as (Hevyn) puts it, yes, I agree we dont always understand, and these last two years for me have been really hard, I don't look at my AH as you have failed, I do realize this is a sickness, like cancer etc., all we can do is pray, try to show compassion & understanding, even when we just want to shake them and tell them what they are throwing away! It is the hardest for me to sit here, day in and day out and never see a change, you (((Grace))), have tried and for that I commend you, you are fighting something that is way bigger than you. Concentrate on yourself, day by day, one baby step at a time and you will get there, you've already had a practice run! Go girl, we right behind you!
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