sorry
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
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Thanks for that Mamm. It means so much. I hope one day soon your AH will see the light.
Made it through the night. Day 2 now. I slept better than I thought, just got that horrible gut feeling of impending doom. I've found a meeting that is open today, so I'm going to try and get there! Fingers and toes crossed.
Made it through the night. Day 2 now. I slept better than I thought, just got that horrible gut feeling of impending doom. I've found a meeting that is open today, so I'm going to try and get there! Fingers and toes crossed.
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Join Date: May 2010
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I asked my other half to help me this morning, but he told me I have to help myself and to cancel the holiday as he will be looking for somewhere else to live when he is off!!! I cant blame him. I'm so sorry for everything I've done.
Persevere, Never give up!
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Stellenbosch, South Africa
Posts: 882
Oh Grace, im so sorry, about yr H, it must be hard on you, sorry that u have to cancel the holidays. Perhaps this will be a good soul searching time, there is still a chance for everything to come right. I am still praying for you, you can do it. (((HUGS)))
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Thanks for that. I have just been to my first A.A meeting. I'm glad I went, the people were lovely and made me very welcome. I just sat at the back and cried my way through it.
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
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Originally Posted by Grace2 
Thanks for that. I have just been to my first A.A meeting. I'm glad I went, the people were lovely and made me very welcome. I just sat at the back and cried my way through it.
There is plenty of love, acceptance and understanding in those rooms. There's also a solution to alcoholism in the 12 Steps.
Keep coming back and use all the support there to help you do this - this is particularly important when those around us don't understand or have had enough.
Keep coming back.
Persevere, Never give up!
Join Date: Apr 2010
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HE is with you in your distress, by the power of HIS undying love. Get up and purposefully start building a new life for yourself. CHRIST cares for you! HE understands and can give you courage and strength. HE is the LORD who has sympathy with us in our distress.
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I've been to another meeting this evening. I do feel more hopeful after hearing the 'says' from the people there. I've been given the phone numbers of three ladies that I can contact at any time, which is really nice. Everybody was so nice and made me feel welcome.
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Originally Posted by Grace2
I'm so sorry. I have failed! I dont know what to say, I'm distraught right now. I have let everyone down, my family, you friends and myself. All my promises mean nothing. I'm probably the most disliked person on this planet now. Why do I do this? I've probably blown everything now!
This sounded like me for a while. The only problem with beating myself up is that I inadvertently gave myself more ammunition to drink.
It might seem ridiculous for me to suggest this, but cut yourself some slack.
Pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes, and move forward. You can do this. You're not a failure--you're a human being and you can overcome this. Take care of yourself.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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No matter what, Grace, you have beauty and value as a human being. You deserve the best life possible - you deserve to be loved. Remember that!
Alcoholism is NOT who we are - it's a condition that we happen to have in this life and it's not easy to overcome it. One day at a time, one minute at a time, hold onto hope and put one foot in front of the other.
I know I'm going on and on, but I just want the best for you.
If it's too hard with everything that's going on, look into counseling (or a psychiatrist) for help, rather than the bottle. Glad you have met some women at AA - that's wonderful!
Alcoholism is NOT who we are - it's a condition that we happen to have in this life and it's not easy to overcome it. One day at a time, one minute at a time, hold onto hope and put one foot in front of the other.
I know I'm going on and on, but I just want the best for you.
If it's too hard with everything that's going on, look into counseling (or a psychiatrist) for help, rather than the bottle. Glad you have met some women at AA - that's wonderful!
Persevere, Never give up!
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Stellenbosch, South Africa
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Originally Posted by Hevyn
Grace, I'm just reading this now - and everyone else has already said the good stuff. I'll just add that I admire you for coming here and telling the truth. How easy to just pretend it never happened.
You have a strong desire to get well, and you will. The normies don't & can't understand how hard it is for us to get on the right track. I failed many times to stick to my promises, and some people became disgusted and lost faith in me. When I realized that, it caused me to drink even more. The day I stopped worrying what others thought and focused on myself was the day I began to heal. Either they would try to understand that I never meant to hurt them, or they wouldn't. I had no control over that. I hoped they would love me enough to move past the bad times in my life and believe in me once again. Regardless, you can only focus on your recovery for now. You never have to go through this again, Grace. We believe in you and know you can triumph over this disease.
You have a strong desire to get well, and you will. The normies don't & can't understand how hard it is for us to get on the right track. I failed many times to stick to my promises, and some people became disgusted and lost faith in me. When I realized that, it caused me to drink even more. The day I stopped worrying what others thought and focused on myself was the day I began to heal. Either they would try to understand that I never meant to hurt them, or they wouldn't. I had no control over that. I hoped they would love me enough to move past the bad times in my life and believe in me once again. Regardless, you can only focus on your recovery for now. You never have to go through this again, Grace. We believe in you and know you can triumph over this disease.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Morning all, very early here in SA, hope you all ready for a wonderful homemade breakfast with a strong pot of coffee, come and join us and share, we'd love to keep you company. Have an awesome day. Grace are you on Day 3 today? Almath hows your family doing? Thinking of you all. (((HUGS)))
Sobriety Date: Feb 2009
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Morning! I ate lunch just before. 
It is cloudy today here. It is better than fine lately, because so hot if fine. Happy ((mamm)) Happy Queen's Birthday! ((Grace)) One day at a time. We all stay here with you. ((Almath)) Watch Japan on World cup soccer today!!
It is cloudy today here. It is better than fine lately, because so hot if fine. Happy ((mamm)) Happy Queen's Birthday! ((Grace)) One day at a time. We all stay here with you. ((Almath)) Watch Japan on World cup soccer today!!
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Pleased to hear you have gone to AA and reached out for help...i was one of the most stuboorn ones out there, prepared to go on till the very end...i would keep doing the same thing over and over again with a this time it will be different!
Geographicals were my specialty, move country, job etc and this will be it...after a few months drinking again...after about the fifth time of doing this it finally dawned on me that the next one probably wouldnt be successful either lol and thats when i reached out for help.
I honestly thought that through willpower i could beat alcohol, it took a long time to realise that the fight i was having was actually with myself and it was a fight i could never have won...
As they say in AA keep coming back and stick with the winners, i.e. the people who's sobriety that you would want for yourself:-)
Geographicals were my specialty, move country, job etc and this will be it...after a few months drinking again...after about the fifth time of doing this it finally dawned on me that the next one probably wouldnt be successful either lol and thats when i reached out for help.
I honestly thought that through willpower i could beat alcohol, it took a long time to realise that the fight i was having was actually with myself and it was a fight i could never have won...
As they say in AA keep coming back and stick with the winners, i.e. the people who's sobriety that you would want for yourself:-)
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Join Date: May 2010
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Morning everyone. Breakfast sounds good to me Mamm.
The weather here is cold, wet & miserable.
I'm a bit hearbroken this morning. Asked my other half to help me again, but I dont think he is willing to.
The weather here is cold, wet & miserable.
I'm a bit hearbroken this morning. Asked my other half to help me again, but I dont think he is willing to.
Persevere, Never give up!
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Stellenbosch, South Africa
Posts: 882
Originally Posted by Grace2
Morning everyone. Breakfast sounds good to me Mamm.
The weather here is cold, wet & miserable.
I'm a bit hearbroken this morning. Asked my other half to help me again, but I dont think he is willing to.
The weather here is cold, wet & miserable.
I'm a bit hearbroken this morning. Asked my other half to help me again, but I dont think he is willing to.
It is also pouring with rain in SA. I am also sad, that you are heartbroken, one would think your other half has lived with you and your condition for so long, that now, that you have actually tried so hard and he has seen you try, that he would at least be a bit more supportive. Lucky for you, you have a much bigger and better circle of friends to support you now. Perhaps time will help. Keep smiling, you can do this.
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I've just phoned the Doctors and have an appointment this morning.
Just for today I will try and live through this day only, and not try to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will try and live through this day only, and not try to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
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Just got back from the Doctors. I was terrified, but he was so kind. He told me that I had done really well to stop drinking for nearly a month, without help, he thought is was great that I went to A.A
He has given me a weeks supply of diazepan while I'm so stressed out. He has also arranged some blood tests.
He also gave me a local t.p number for 'community alcohol free'. I've telephoned them, they were so nice, and I have an appointment to see them 05/07.
I haven't eaten anything since Friday ( no appetite due to stress) so I've bought some vitamins and am going to eat now, even if it's only something small.
He has given me a weeks supply of diazepan while I'm so stressed out. He has also arranged some blood tests.
He also gave me a local t.p number for 'community alcohol free'. I've telephoned them, they were so nice, and I have an appointment to see them 05/07.
I haven't eaten anything since Friday ( no appetite due to stress) so I've bought some vitamins and am going to eat now, even if it's only something small.
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