Class of June Support Thread 2020 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,818
Wanted today to be productive, beginning of the second half of the year at all. But I hurt my back from sleeping funny on Saturday night and it's still too sore to clean or anything. Not a great start to the second half of 2020. Oh well, at least I'm on day 7.
Re-reading More, Now, Again by Elizabeth Wurtzel. Addiction really seems like the dumbest thing when you're on the outside looking in. I suppose that's how you guys feel when I post about drinking hand sanitiser.
Re-reading More, Now, Again by Elizabeth Wurtzel. Addiction really seems like the dumbest thing when you're on the outside looking in. I suppose that's how you guys feel when I post about drinking hand sanitiser.
Gone In
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by freedomfries 
Wanted today to be productive, beginning of the second half of the year at all. But I hurt my back from sleeping funny on Saturday night and it's still too sore to clean or anything. Not a great start to the second half of 2020. Oh well, at least I'm on day 7.
Re-reading More, Now, Again by Elizabeth Wurtzel. Addiction really seems like the dumbest thing when you're on the outside looking in. I suppose that's how you guys feel when I post about drinking hand sanitiser.
Re-reading More, Now, Again by Elizabeth Wurtzel. Addiction really seems like the dumbest thing when you're on the outside looking in. I suppose that's how you guys feel when I post about drinking hand sanitiser.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Welcome Ekohe and Cute 
Hope you’re ok Puck
Congratulations on 30 days Basejumper, that’s awesome!
Hang in there Max and Freedom. We want you to stay with us. Like Dee says, its the AV talking, telling you to drink, it’s not the real you, and not what you really want for yourself.
Thanks Bob
And everyone
I couldn’t do this without you guys. We’re all in this together
Just winding up day 8 with a cup of herbal tea
Goodnight everyone
Hope you’re ok Puck
Congratulations on 30 days Basejumper, that’s awesome!
Hang in there Max and Freedom. We want you to stay with us. Like Dee says, its the AV talking, telling you to drink, it’s not the real you, and not what you really want for yourself.
Thanks Bob
And everyone I couldn’t do this without you guys. We’re all in this together
Just winding up day 8 with a cup of herbal tea
Goodnight everyone
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 187
Well it's morning where I am so good day to you all! Congrats Base on 30 days, and Max glad you're feeling better. Hope your day today is better too.
I don't know about addiction being dumb - to me it's sad, painful, infuriating, cruel...just so many things but not dumb. It plays some kind of major role or none of us would dance with the devil for so long, for so many times. I try not to judge others, because I don't know what pain or circumstances or even innocent attempt led someone to where they are. I don't think anyone would choose addiction. I think it can feel dumb, at least for me, but then that means I'm letting myself get into a shame spiral which my AV just loves. I've been trying to figure out my own process I suppose, and when I rack up all the days /months/years of getting absolutely out of control dumb feels like it's oversimplification. Just my 2 cents in the early morning - thinking outloud if you will.
May be checking in more today as I've got some feelings already that are concerning. Won't write a novel about it but they're there. Stay strong and happy to have us all here. 1st of July!
I don't know about addiction being dumb - to me it's sad, painful, infuriating, cruel...just so many things but not dumb. It plays some kind of major role or none of us would dance with the devil for so long, for so many times. I try not to judge others, because I don't know what pain or circumstances or even innocent attempt led someone to where they are. I don't think anyone would choose addiction. I think it can feel dumb, at least for me, but then that means I'm letting myself get into a shame spiral which my AV just loves. I've been trying to figure out my own process I suppose, and when I rack up all the days /months/years of getting absolutely out of control dumb feels like it's oversimplification. Just my 2 cents in the early morning - thinking outloud if you will.
May be checking in more today as I've got some feelings already that are concerning. Won't write a novel about it but they're there. Stay strong and happy to have us all here. 1st of July!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,574
You know, hand sanitiser is a cleaning product. Please try and think of it this way dear ff....t is never at your disposal.
Just like you wouldn't drink AJAX or toilet cleaner.....really. Even if they don't have any alcohol it's not the point.
You would be poisoned. Which is what you are doing when you drink hand cleaner. It is not an option. Said with love. ❤️
Just like you wouldn't drink AJAX or toilet cleaner.....really. Even if they don't have any alcohol it's not the point.
You would be poisoned. Which is what you are doing when you drink hand cleaner. It is not an option. Said with love.
❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Great post, dizzybee.
Not too much to add this morning. Entering day 12. Really glad to wake up refreshed and looking forward to the day. Yesterday, I felt a bit off in the late afternoon/evening, but I took the dog for a walk with my husband, was able to talk through my stuff with him, and felt better.
One of my triggers is being overwhelmed with life/household responsibilities. I just have to let go of what is not that important right now. I can’t do it all. Just can’t. I’m going to tackle a little bit inside today since it’s going to be another hot one here. I will not drink today.
Not too much to add this morning. Entering day 12. Really glad to wake up refreshed and looking forward to the day. Yesterday, I felt a bit off in the late afternoon/evening, but I took the dog for a walk with my husband, was able to talk through my stuff with him, and felt better.
One of my triggers is being overwhelmed with life/household responsibilities. I just have to let go of what is not that important right now. I can’t do it all. Just can’t. I’m going to tackle a little bit inside today since it’s going to be another hot one here. I will not drink today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,574
I share some of those feelings love. I seem to have way more to do than I am able to manage even though there are just two of us. So many household chores, and other things to attend to, and I also talk it all over with my husband.
Another hot hot hot one here too, and I am also going to tackle the inside, mostly. I must stake my butterfly bushes though....they are suddenly enormous, purple flowers that are big and lovely. s ❤️
Another hot hot hot one here too, and I am also going to tackle the inside, mostly. I must stake my butterfly bushes though....they are suddenly enormous, purple flowers that are big and lovely.
s ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Thanks, Venus. Always helps to know I’m not alone in feelings this way.
How’s everyone doing today? I’m doing very well and getting more accomplished than I have in the last month. Feeling better. Feeling grateful. Enjoying life. So why do I have to think about wine? Why does it tell me somehow my life would be better with the stuff? I know the answer to this, but it helps to type out what I’m feeling. Wine ruins me, I heal and then it wants to pull me away from the blessings and gifts only to return to the nightmare. I’m awake. Will not relive that one, thank you very much.
Really hoping these thoughts become more and more distant. I’m trusting the old timers who say they do.
How’s everyone doing today? I’m doing very well and getting more accomplished than I have in the last month. Feeling better. Feeling grateful. Enjoying life. So why do I have to think about wine? Why does it tell me somehow my life would be better with the stuff? I know the answer to this, but it helps to type out what I’m feeling. Wine ruins me, I heal and then it wants to pull me away from the blessings and gifts only to return to the nightmare. I’m awake. Will not relive that one, thank you very much.
Really hoping these thoughts become more and more distant. I’m trusting the old timers who say they do.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 187
Hey Jewel - I keep having sneaky flashes of drinking thoughts today, too. Like even at 10 am my time, and I didn't regularly drink at 10am. I just had a junk food session which I guess is another way of trying to meet some need. I don't know why these flashes emerge like you're talking about, but I know I get them too. I don't even know what day I'm on...day 10. Trying to take it moment by moment. Staying distracted is helping, and checking in here does too. I wonder how long it takes until those thoughts become more distant?
Venus, these flowers and butterfly bushes sound amazing. Nature is the best!
Venus, these flowers and butterfly bushes sound amazing. Nature is the best!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,574
Because your brain is craving the alcohol love. So it is telling you things to make you drink....wine is beautiful, filled with love....makes everything soooooooooo good......
It isn't true though.
So as time goes on and we don't give in to those cravings, they recede....and that annoying voice just slinks away into the corner.
It isn't true though.
So as time goes on and we don't give in to those cravings, they recede....and that annoying voice just slinks away into the corner.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,574
Yes Dizzy, and lazy Suze must take photos before it gets so hot it all sizzles.
So yes....cravings for anything you are denying yourself will manifest in lots of different ways.....you know what it's like when you just go on a diet? (like I just have)....you can't stop thinking about food....everything is a trigger....my husband is making too much noise above my head in the office....but a cup of tea and some biscuits would make me feel better. Err what? I am not even hungry.
I am denying myself and my brain chemistry is not happy about that. Yet. So I am getting all sorts of misfires and weird notices from said brain informing me that food is the answer to all of my problems today. Hmm. It is so not.
But obviously I am not in withdrawal and going through anything hard here....it is just a diet after all....but our brains are sneaky and will find ways to make us keep thinking about the food or the wine or the beer.....and it gets maddening.
But it goes away. I am betting in two or three days I will be the salad queen again and i will no longer be thinking abut poppy seed bagels with creamed cheese and smoked salmon.
The alcohol cravings go away....and sometimes they come back.....but they always go away again if we do not give into them.
So yes....cravings for anything you are denying yourself will manifest in lots of different ways.....you know what it's like when you just go on a diet? (like I just have)....you can't stop thinking about food....everything is a trigger....my husband is making too much noise above my head in the office....but a cup of tea and some biscuits would make me feel better. Err what? I am not even hungry.
I am denying myself and my brain chemistry is not happy about that. Yet. So I am getting all sorts of misfires and weird notices from said brain informing me that food is the answer to all of my problems today. Hmm. It is so not.
But obviously I am not in withdrawal and going through anything hard here....it is just a diet after all....but our brains are sneaky and will find ways to make us keep thinking about the food or the wine or the beer.....and it gets maddening.
But it goes away. I am betting in two or three days I will be the salad queen again and i will no longer be thinking abut poppy seed bagels with creamed cheese and smoked salmon.
The alcohol cravings go away....and sometimes they come back.....but they always go away again if we do not give into them.
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 187
That does really help, Suze/Venus! I love the image of the voice slinking away. Right now it's like a jack in the box, just popping up out of nowhere like surprise! Remember wine? Pink or white? Too hot for red. And I'm like, whoa, where is this coming from! It catches me off guard and it takes a lot of effort to refocus. Thankful that I can for now.
Still a bit worried about seeing family this weekend. Although not everyone drinks, those that do - REALLY do.
Where's the rest of our class today? Would love checkins from you all.
Still a bit worried about seeing family this weekend. Although not everyone drinks, those that do - REALLY do.
Where's the rest of our class today? Would love checkins from you all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,574
I would make sure I have alcohol free coloured drinks on hand.....the colour makes me happy.....I like cranberry juice with sparkling mineral water. Maybe buy up and take it wherever you need to go this weekend. Just a thought.
Just took a couple of quick pics for you.
Bit of a hot wilted mess out there right now.....
Just took a couple of quick pics for you.
Bit of a hot wilted mess out there right now.....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 1,356
Hello everyone day 4. Finally got some sleep (i think..do we ever really know in the beginning) feelin a lil more like myself. This seems like a real good group A lil about me since I'm more with it now. This last bender ended in a Motel. They usually do as I don't want anyone to try to steal my booze pretty much. I would say its up there in my Top 3 worst. Im a gay guy (duh haha) and from Southern California. These past two years have been ROUGH as I stated in my OP on here. I had gone 6 months before this last one with a half drink slip (I threw it out midway cuz It made me sick) I'm just done. 
A lil about me since I'm more with it now. This last bender ended in a Motel. They usually do as I don't want anyone to try to steal my booze pretty much. I would say its up there in my Top 3 worst. Im a gay guy (duh haha) and from Southern California. These past two years have been ROUGH as I stated in my OP on here. I had gone 6 months before this last one with a half drink slip (I threw it out midway cuz It made me sick) I'm just done.
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