Class of March 2020 Part 5
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,534
My feelings are that we intrinsically know which traits or flaws get in our way and make us unhappy. And those are the things I try to change. That is what I work on. 
s ❤️
s ❤️
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I know what you guys all mean about therapy. It can be quite confronting to look at ourselves and our lives in depth.
I have another appointment booked for next week.
She wants to start talking about some specific childhood/teenage/family relationship stuff. And I know I need to go there because it’s past hurts and my reactions to them that have led to the way I’ve dealt with situations all my life (not at all healthy or constructively but with alcohol to push the emotions away and by running away from anything that’s “too hard”). Oh yeah, I have a huge tendency to run away or drown stuff in a bottle. So it’s going to be painful dredging up some of those past hurts, but it’s time I faced them again and deal with them so I can move on. Otherwise I don’t know if I’ll be able to maintain sobriety. When things get hard I need to face them rather than keep running away from them and drowning my feelings in a bottle.
Ah that’s a bit deep for 7.30am lol
It’s Friday morning and I’m off to get more coffee and get ready for work.
See you all later x
I have another appointment booked for next week.
She wants to start talking about some specific childhood/teenage/family relationship stuff. And I know I need to go there because it’s past hurts and my reactions to them that have led to the way I’ve dealt with situations all my life (not at all healthy or constructively but with alcohol to push the emotions away and by running away from anything that’s “too hard”). Oh yeah, I have a huge tendency to run away or drown stuff in a bottle. So it’s going to be painful dredging up some of those past hurts, but it’s time I faced them again and deal with them so I can move on. Otherwise I don’t know if I’ll be able to maintain sobriety. When things get hard I need to face them rather than keep running away from them and drowning my feelings in a bottle.
Ah that’s a bit deep for 7.30am lol
It’s Friday morning and I’m off to get more coffee and get ready for work.
See you all later x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
I hear you willow. I'll give us all some encouragement! - every day we stay sober we ARE fronting up and dealing with stuff, we are NOT running away. It's a daily choice to deal with life as it is - whether that be low moods, missing our ex, having a wife want to leave you!, past trauma, problems with parents, stress at work, money problems etc etc
It's a daily grind, there's no magic formula. It's amazing on the newcomers page how often people giving up want a medication to take this away...I get that, I really do, but nothing can take reality away, which is what we've got to deal with day in day out. And the longer it goes the more that becomes out normal
I honestly don't know how I kept the show on the road during my drinking. I really did show remarkable tenacity, dishonesty, resourcefulness, physical strength and mental perseverance to keep going. I'm trying to use some of those to live my life sober
It's a daily grind, there's no magic formula. It's amazing on the newcomers page how often people giving up want a medication to take this away...I get that, I really do, but nothing can take reality away, which is what we've got to deal with day in day out. And the longer it goes the more that becomes out normal
I honestly don't know how I kept the show on the road during my drinking. I really did show remarkable tenacity, dishonesty, resourcefulness, physical strength and mental perseverance to keep going. I'm trying to use some of those to live my life sober
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Morning everyone hope your all well.
had my appt with my therapist yesterday and didn't get much out of it. Dont know if being over phone rather than face to face or maybe as it was just first one. Anyway will keep having them and see.
had my appt with my therapist yesterday and didn't get much out of it. Dont know if being over phone rather than face to face or maybe as it was just first one. Anyway will keep having them and see.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Yeah it felt like that Be, very impersonal plus the line wasn't good so didnt help. Might improve hopefully.
I dont know guess im still hoping for someone to wave a magic wand. When i stopped drinking i guess i hoped my 'higher power' would be so impressed with me my life would magically improve and all my wishes would come true. Unfortunately not how it works, im happier not drinking, look and feel better, have more money, dont send embarrassing letters etc. But i cant help wonder if the actual life i have will change or improve, have to just wait and see and hope i guess.
I dont know guess im still hoping for someone to wave a magic wand. When i stopped drinking i guess i hoped my 'higher power' would be so impressed with me my life would magically improve and all my wishes would come true. Unfortunately not how it works, im happier not drinking, look and feel better, have more money, dont send embarrassing letters etc. But i cant help wonder if the actual life i have will change or improve, have to just wait and see and hope i guess.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Yes I know what you mean Tink. Just had another 'conversation' with my wife...things aren't improving at all. I don't know what I expected but I think deep down I did think she'd change her mind about me when I was sober. Naive perhaps. But I am SUPER glad I'm facing this sober, drunk it would be literally impossible
In fact I'm beginning to be a bit more lovingly firm, in that if she really wants to leave the relationship and cannot see any good in me or future in the relationship then why doesn't she just get on with it and leave! (I say 'lovingly' because I'm not that blunt and always explain I'd prefer that not to be the case.) But this is where therapy has helped me...if focusses on me and the way I operate but it also helped me be stronger and more assertive, without any hint of aggression or anger.
Crap really and now I've jumped all over your post Tink. Long story short - I empathise!!
In fact I'm beginning to be a bit more lovingly firm, in that if she really wants to leave the relationship and cannot see any good in me or future in the relationship then why doesn't she just get on with it and leave! (I say 'lovingly' because I'm not that blunt and always explain I'd prefer that not to be the case.) But this is where therapy has helped me...if focusses on me and the way I operate but it also helped me be stronger and more assertive, without any hint of aggression or anger.
Crap really and now I've jumped all over your post Tink. Long story short - I empathise!!
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Ahh Be im so sorry things are no better for your relationship. I think you are doing right thing in standing your ground and defending yourself more and like you say you are doing it in a kind way. I really don't think anyone could of tried harder or dealt with the situation in a better way than you have done.
It is hard as i suppose stopping drinking was such a big thing i hoped (also naive) it would just solve all my problems instantly. But life is improving and as a person im improving and like you say everything is easier sober. And i guess whatever life has in store when i venture back out into it, i'll be a better person and in a better place to handle it and embrace it. Same for you.
It is hard as i suppose stopping drinking was such a big thing i hoped (also naive) it would just solve all my problems instantly. But life is improving and as a person im improving and like you say everything is easier sober. And i guess whatever life has in store when i venture back out into it, i'll be a better person and in a better place to handle it and embrace it. Same for you.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Tink and Be I think you’re both handling life’s situations so well, with real insight. Being sober really helps us to see things more clearly and deal with things more calmly and constructively ❤️
It’s 7.45am Sunday morning here, and the morning of the winter solstice. I took this about an hour ago
It’s 7.45am Sunday morning here, and the morning of the winter solstice. I took this about an hour ago
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Another lovely picture willow, you've got a nack...maybe you could produce a calendar for SR with a photo for each month - I would buy it!
Fathers day today, my kids are doing tea for me and I'm seeing my parents, but first a run with my mate. (He's super fit, weights about 9 stone and runs 6 miles a day! He's going with me to be kind!!)
Funny and true story: I came second to him in our schools 800m race in 1996. When I say 'Second', there was about 200 yards between us
Fathers day today, my kids are doing tea for me and I'm seeing my parents, but first a run with my mate. (He's super fit, weights about 9 stone and runs 6 miles a day! He's going with me to be kind!!)
Funny and true story: I came second to him in our schools 800m race in 1996. When I say 'Second', there was about 200 yards between us
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
It really is very quiet on here! - I hope everyone is doing well.
Ive been falling asleep very early and waking up super early, so much so today I had to sleep in the day. I think that should reset me for a bit.
Have a nice evening and see you tomorrow
Ive been falling asleep very early and waking up super early, so much so today I had to sleep in the day. I think that should reset me for a bit.
Have a nice evening and see you tomorrow
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Morning all hope everyone is well. Another week of home schooling but at least weather here looks better so get some nice long walks in. 99 days today !! Everytime i have tried to stop drinking i always had the 100 day goal in mind. Never made it before, but now im nearly there i know without a doubt i don't want to drink but carry on a sober life.
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