Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 8
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Ah Numblady, we keep just missing each other! Good luck with your legislative craziness, I hope things calm down (at least as much as they can, for you!) very soon. I really admire your dedication to exercise, it seems like such a natural and fundamental thing for you, no matter what else is going on. I keep telling myself - "after the move!" 
Have a great day, all!
Have a great day, all!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,916
Hello friends! Thanks for all the well wishes on the capitol. Today’s going to be a long day!
Palmer so sweet of you to say about exercise being fundamental for me. Especially since I’m probably blowing it off a lot this week!
Hope your days are good! More eventually
Palmer so sweet of you to say about exercise being fundamental for me. Especially since I’m probably blowing it off a lot this week!
Hope your days are good! More eventually
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Hi all, Sunflower - how are things going at home (relationship-wise?) I had a rough patch last night too, thank God for my other DOC sugar, which got me through it! I know we're all supposed to be working on that too, though...
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Hey Palmer. Relationship is going ok. I talked my issues through with my sponsor and it helped a ton. The issues are still there but I am trying to stay in my own lane and work on myself and my reaction. I’m sorry you’re struggling too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Class,
Apologies again for being MIA the past few days - it's been a bit of a whirlwind though not particularly stressful, just busy!
@Palmer: The round 2 interview has been pushed to next week instead, right? I don't know how you manage to juggle the stress of moving, work, family AND interviews so gracefully. Hats off to you! I completely relate to your exercise/sugar dichotomy - whenever i fall off the wagon with one, the wheels surely come off with the other, too. Try not to be so hard on yourself right now with regards to diet and working out - you have an incredible amount on your plate and you are doing amazingly well. As everyone else has said - after the move, when things settle, there will be plenty of time to catch up on better eating and making time for workouts again. In the meantime, just try to find a little me time where you can to grab some fresh air or move a little, with the focus on mental space and self care rather than weight loss for now?
@NL: Your insight and shared experience with delegating and finding it difficult to hand off things to people you can't necessarily trust to perform to a high standard (or the standard we might consider acceptable) was so interesting. As you said, I'm not sure what the answer is either. Trying to strike the balance between letting go, but somehow establishing safeguards to ensure shoddy work and stupid mistakes don't slip through the net, but without micromanaging - right now it feels a little like searching for the holy grail! On the plus side, one of our main culprits has decided to resign, which is in truth a huge blessing as over the past year, his errors and poor performance have caused untold stress and issues. Hopefully this might signal an upturn! I hope you got through the capitol not too exhausted!
@Scotty: I hope the first week back to full blown craziness is going well - or as well as can be expected!
@Sunflower: I am truly sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time with your relationship right now. That stuff weighs so heavy on the soul. Stay close, we are all here to listen and support you. I'm glad you were able to talk things over with your sponsor and find some solace in speaking about it. Sending hugs.
Hi To Dee and anyone else :-)
Apologies again for being MIA the past few days - it's been a bit of a whirlwind though not particularly stressful, just busy!
@Palmer: The round 2 interview has been pushed to next week instead, right? I don't know how you manage to juggle the stress of moving, work, family AND interviews so gracefully. Hats off to you! I completely relate to your exercise/sugar dichotomy - whenever i fall off the wagon with one, the wheels surely come off with the other, too. Try not to be so hard on yourself right now with regards to diet and working out - you have an incredible amount on your plate and you are doing amazingly well. As everyone else has said - after the move, when things settle, there will be plenty of time to catch up on better eating and making time for workouts again. In the meantime, just try to find a little me time where you can to grab some fresh air or move a little, with the focus on mental space and self care rather than weight loss for now?
@NL: Your insight and shared experience with delegating and finding it difficult to hand off things to people you can't necessarily trust to perform to a high standard (or the standard we might consider acceptable) was so interesting. As you said, I'm not sure what the answer is either. Trying to strike the balance between letting go, but somehow establishing safeguards to ensure shoddy work and stupid mistakes don't slip through the net, but without micromanaging - right now it feels a little like searching for the holy grail! On the plus side, one of our main culprits has decided to resign, which is in truth a huge blessing as over the past year, his errors and poor performance have caused untold stress and issues. Hopefully this might signal an upturn! I hope you got through the capitol not too exhausted!
@Scotty: I hope the first week back to full blown craziness is going well - or as well as can be expected!
@Sunflower: I am truly sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time with your relationship right now. That stuff weighs so heavy on the soul. Stay close, we are all here to listen and support you. I'm glad you were able to talk things over with your sponsor and find some solace in speaking about it. Sending hugs.
Hi To Dee and anyone else :-)
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Sunflower, I'm so glad your sponsor was able to listen and help you work through your feelings a bit. My tolerance for my husband's shennanigans has been very low lately, too. 
NewChapter, I LOVE the fact that "one of the main culprits" decided to resign, that is the best feeling, isn't it? It's so great when our problem employees can make a decision on their own to move on to other opportunities, although sometimes it doesn't work out because great employees have options, while not-so-great employees are generally stuck, with US!
I'm doing OK, but definitely paying attention to some feelings that aren't good for me and my recovery, namely being "restless, irritable, and discontent." I think part of it is the looming move, I just feel like there is so much to do and I'm not prepared, and I hate the idea of moving a bunch of old crap back into the house. I will need to work past that, and try to take each day (and box) as it comes.
Hi to everyone, I hope folks check in soon! xoxo
NewChapter, I LOVE the fact that "one of the main culprits" decided to resign, that is the best feeling, isn't it? It's so great when our problem employees can make a decision on their own to move on to other opportunities, although sometimes it doesn't work out because great employees have options, while not-so-great employees are generally stuck, with US!
I'm doing OK, but definitely paying attention to some feelings that aren't good for me and my recovery, namely being "restless, irritable, and discontent." I think part of it is the looming move, I just feel like there is so much to do and I'm not prepared, and I hate the idea of moving a bunch of old crap back into the house. I will need to work past that, and try to take each day (and box) as it comes.
Hi to everyone, I hope folks check in soon! xoxo
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Good morning everyone.
Feeling a a bit better this morning. I realize I have been engaging in old behaviors and not putting God first. So I’m resetting myself this morning. I had my quiet time and I will change my behavior patterns today.
Palmer I know moving is so overwhelming but I like your idea of just taking it one box at a time. No matter what the move will happen and you will be okay
NewChapter and NumbLady I hope y’all have a great day.
Feeling a a bit better this morning. I realize I have been engaging in old behaviors and not putting God first. So I’m resetting myself this morning. I had my quiet time and I will change my behavior patterns today.
Palmer I know moving is so overwhelming but I like your idea of just taking it one box at a time. No matter what the move will happen and you will be okay
NewChapter and NumbLady I hope y’all have a great day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,916
Hi everybody! Spoiler alert: lots of whining.
So yesterday’s hearings went pretty well but it ended up as a crap day. The good part was that I took the wisdom I got from a recent yoga class (that if we focus on the quality of our offering rather than success of failure we can offer it to the divine and not define ourselves in the small framework of merits and demerits), and I reread a very cool prayer I posted here a long time ago about seeking to let go of the desire to be admired, chosen, favored, consulted; to let go of fear of being ridiculed, criticized, unnoticed, etc.; and to seek the grace to wish that others be chosen before me, that they are favored when I go unnoticed, that they increase in prominence, etc. I skipped any kind of workout but I feel like it helped me to focus on that and then just look around the big room full of people and just know that my job was to help them not do anything in terms of my own success or failure.
The bad part is that right in the middle of one of these hearings a crisis started blowing up and there’s not really a great way to explain it except that by the end of the day I basically had to have this awful conversation with someone that was the equivalent of telling him he was fired without making the decision myself or being able to influence it. And being instructed that in the public setting where this is all going to be revealed to just not really explain it. So this person doesn’t even get to make a graceful exit. It broke my heart some and is reflective of some of the dysfunctional decision making in our leadership (outside our agency). And in the middle of it I kind of got into an angry discussion with my colleagues over a misunderstanding. It wasn’t all that bad but it’s just someone who I consider a friend who basically implied that every executive in the entire building was doing something stupid (actually she said it out loud without the stupid part). She misunderstood what I was doing and I misunderstood why she was saying what she was saying but it was just so frustrating on top of what was already a very frustrating time of finding out this news but not being able to get more information about what we were supposed to do with it or what we could say about it.
Then of course all day yesterday my son was home quite sick with a fever and later threw up and I couldn’t help at all. But I did help through the night when he woke me up 5 different times. I’m so tired. And even though I’m leaving town tomorrow have not gotten ready at all, have to deal with the high profile meeting where this stuff is going down about the guy I had the awful talk with, and somehow figure out how I’m going to get my daughter and myself to the airport when the meeting is going on at the time I need to be picking her up and getting there. Fortunately my deputy will cover. Unfortunately I feel like even though I’ll be around to get everything started and stay as long as I can, I’m handing her a mess and making her miss another commitment to someone she mentored. And still the urgent stuff keeps coming in the inbox and the calendar at work.
Sometimes it’s so hard to know if we are making the right choice. I thought taking part of one day and another day off would not be so terrible but I also got push back from the same friend I mentioned earlier (not the one I have had so many struggles with) about being out at all. I think it’s important to prioritize family while they are still around and to do something besides this work ... not a roller coaster ... like some kind of never ending whirlwind. But it’s going to impact my deputy, and be a problem for other meetings and crap. Oh well I guess. I guess it’s the right thing. But also my son is staying here because he didn’t want to go but he also doesn’t want us to go so he’s going to be sad. And I’m going to feel really bad that he’s not with us.
Why can’t choices be simpler?
Okay whine over. For now. Thanks for listening.
So yesterday’s hearings went pretty well but it ended up as a crap day. The good part was that I took the wisdom I got from a recent yoga class (that if we focus on the quality of our offering rather than success of failure we can offer it to the divine and not define ourselves in the small framework of merits and demerits), and I reread a very cool prayer I posted here a long time ago about seeking to let go of the desire to be admired, chosen, favored, consulted; to let go of fear of being ridiculed, criticized, unnoticed, etc.; and to seek the grace to wish that others be chosen before me, that they are favored when I go unnoticed, that they increase in prominence, etc. I skipped any kind of workout but I feel like it helped me to focus on that and then just look around the big room full of people and just know that my job was to help them not do anything in terms of my own success or failure.
The bad part is that right in the middle of one of these hearings a crisis started blowing up and there’s not really a great way to explain it except that by the end of the day I basically had to have this awful conversation with someone that was the equivalent of telling him he was fired without making the decision myself or being able to influence it. And being instructed that in the public setting where this is all going to be revealed to just not really explain it. So this person doesn’t even get to make a graceful exit. It broke my heart some and is reflective of some of the dysfunctional decision making in our leadership (outside our agency). And in the middle of it I kind of got into an angry discussion with my colleagues over a misunderstanding. It wasn’t all that bad but it’s just someone who I consider a friend who basically implied that every executive in the entire building was doing something stupid (actually she said it out loud without the stupid part). She misunderstood what I was doing and I misunderstood why she was saying what she was saying but it was just so frustrating on top of what was already a very frustrating time of finding out this news but not being able to get more information about what we were supposed to do with it or what we could say about it.
Then of course all day yesterday my son was home quite sick with a fever and later threw up and I couldn’t help at all. But I did help through the night when he woke me up 5 different times. I’m so tired. And even though I’m leaving town tomorrow have not gotten ready at all, have to deal with the high profile meeting where this stuff is going down about the guy I had the awful talk with, and somehow figure out how I’m going to get my daughter and myself to the airport when the meeting is going on at the time I need to be picking her up and getting there. Fortunately my deputy will cover. Unfortunately I feel like even though I’ll be around to get everything started and stay as long as I can, I’m handing her a mess and making her miss another commitment to someone she mentored. And still the urgent stuff keeps coming in the inbox and the calendar at work.
Sometimes it’s so hard to know if we are making the right choice. I thought taking part of one day and another day off would not be so terrible but I also got push back from the same friend I mentioned earlier (not the one I have had so many struggles with) about being out at all. I think it’s important to prioritize family while they are still around and to do something besides this work ... not a roller coaster ... like some kind of never ending whirlwind. But it’s going to impact my deputy, and be a problem for other meetings and crap. Oh well I guess. I guess it’s the right thing. But also my son is staying here because he didn’t want to go but he also doesn’t want us to go so he’s going to be sad. And I’m going to feel really bad that he’s not with us.
Why can’t choices be simpler?
Okay whine over. For now. Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Class!
Yesterday evening I had such a lovely time up at the stables after work. My horse was filthy after being in the field and it was so nice to just spend time grooming him. The lesson was crazy - we just got some brand new surfacing in the arena and also had a few new and young/green horses in the lesson - lots of spooking and quirky behavior to contend with, and on top of it all, the heavens opened and it poured rain and the wind started howling. It’s weird, but I really enjoyed the chaos!! I feel like I’m starting to grow less nervous and enjoy the challenges as time goes on.
@Palmer: I couldn't agree more. Down through the years, I've noticed how certain departments can be totally destroyed by one or a few bad apples, which results in everyone else jumping ship, and the bad apples stay put and spread their poison deeper and further! Though this person is in no way a 'bad apple' in the malicious or wilfully ignorant sense, they have just been chronically underperforming, and worse, making hugely damaging mistakes with wide reaching consequences. So it really is a blessing that they have taken the decision to part ways, so the dissolution can be amicable and everyone (mostly the company) wins! I hope your husbands 'shenanigans' haven't been too trying - I know how much pressure you place on yourself to be the bedrock of stability and organisational strength for your whole family, particularly with the stress and disruption of the impending move. I think the 'one box at a time' approach is the only way to do it - much like our one day at a time approach to sobriety, when the task in its entirety is overwhelming, breaking it down is the best way to conjure the will to just power through in automatic productivity mode.
@Sunflower: I like the idea of 're-setting' yourself. I definitely have to catch myself at times to power down and reboot if I notice old behaviors slipping in. I hope you have a great day today!
@NL: I'm sending huge hugs your way! After reading your post, all I could think of was the old saying 'when it rains, it pours'. I'm so sorry for the landslide of cr@p you had to deal with yesterday. It's one thing to manage one, even juggle two of those stressful tasks/situations, but a sick little boy and an upcoming trip, issues with colleagues etc. all thrown into the mix is just a perfect storm for burnout. I absolutely believe taking some time off was/is the right thing to do and you should not under any circumstances feel guilty for that - though I know that is so much easier for me to say than for you to feel. I hope your boy is feeling better soon and that you can enjoy your trip.
Have a great day everyone!
Yesterday evening I had such a lovely time up at the stables after work. My horse was filthy after being in the field and it was so nice to just spend time grooming him. The lesson was crazy - we just got some brand new surfacing in the arena and also had a few new and young/green horses in the lesson - lots of spooking and quirky behavior to contend with, and on top of it all, the heavens opened and it poured rain and the wind started howling. It’s weird, but I really enjoyed the chaos!! I feel like I’m starting to grow less nervous and enjoy the challenges as time goes on.
@Palmer: I couldn't agree more. Down through the years, I've noticed how certain departments can be totally destroyed by one or a few bad apples, which results in everyone else jumping ship, and the bad apples stay put and spread their poison deeper and further! Though this person is in no way a 'bad apple' in the malicious or wilfully ignorant sense, they have just been chronically underperforming, and worse, making hugely damaging mistakes with wide reaching consequences. So it really is a blessing that they have taken the decision to part ways, so the dissolution can be amicable and everyone (mostly the company) wins! I hope your husbands 'shenanigans' haven't been too trying - I know how much pressure you place on yourself to be the bedrock of stability and organisational strength for your whole family, particularly with the stress and disruption of the impending move. I think the 'one box at a time' approach is the only way to do it - much like our one day at a time approach to sobriety, when the task in its entirety is overwhelming, breaking it down is the best way to conjure the will to just power through in automatic productivity mode.
@Sunflower: I like the idea of 're-setting' yourself. I definitely have to catch myself at times to power down and reboot if I notice old behaviors slipping in. I hope you have a great day today!
@NL: I'm sending huge hugs your way! After reading your post, all I could think of was the old saying 'when it rains, it pours'. I'm so sorry for the landslide of cr@p you had to deal with yesterday. It's one thing to manage one, even juggle two of those stressful tasks/situations, but a sick little boy and an upcoming trip, issues with colleagues etc. all thrown into the mix is just a perfect storm for burnout. I absolutely believe taking some time off was/is the right thing to do and you should not under any circumstances feel guilty for that - though I know that is so much easier for me to say than for you to feel. I hope your boy is feeling better soon and that you can enjoy your trip.
Have a great day everyone!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
Just a fly by here too. Sorry to hear about some of the challenges being faced. When stuff like this piles on I do find comfort in the fact that no matter how bad things get at least I am also not dealing with it hungover.
Can’t stop, had a huge win with my son successfully having fillings under sedation at the dentist instead of needing a general anesthetic which has been the norm for any dental treatment. Now his royal highness wants to be waited on hand and foot (it was a filling not a root canal!), I’m so proud of him I will play servant for the day.
Can’t stop, had a huge win with my son successfully having fillings under sedation at the dentist instead of needing a general anesthetic which has been the norm for any dental treatment. Now his royal highness wants to be waited on hand and foot (it was a filling not a root canal!), I’m so proud of him I will play servant for the day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Class,
After talking with my husband last night about alcohol and drinking , I went on to wake up 3 times during the night in a state of panic after various nightmares where I had taken alcohol and things had gone south and everyone was mad at me for my drunken behaviour. Glad to see the anti-AV mechanism kicked in to prevent any potential for the AV to take hold, just a pity it had to be at various stages through the night!
Meeting another girl from the stables after work to go riding together which I'm looking forward to. She is an amazing rider and I stand to learn a lot from her.
Scotty: Totally agree - no matter how tough things get, I am always just so grateful to not have to contend with a hangover as well. I am so proud of your son too and I've never even met him! haha Truly that is such a big achievement. I can only imagine how pleased you are for him.
Hi to everyone!!
After talking with my husband last night about alcohol and drinking , I went on to wake up 3 times during the night in a state of panic after various nightmares where I had taken alcohol and things had gone south and everyone was mad at me for my drunken behaviour. Glad to see the anti-AV mechanism kicked in to prevent any potential for the AV to take hold, just a pity it had to be at various stages through the night!
Meeting another girl from the stables after work to go riding together which I'm looking forward to. She is an amazing rider and I stand to learn a lot from her.
Scotty: Totally agree - no matter how tough things get, I am always just so grateful to not have to contend with a hangover as well. I am so proud of your son too and I've never even met him! haha Truly that is such a big achievement. I can only imagine how pleased you are for him.
Hi to everyone!!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,916
Hi everyone thanks for listening through my whine and near breakdown! I will hopefully be back tomorrow in an even more improved mental state (I’m doing better and made it out of town with my daughter). Like NC I had a pretty sleepless night but hoping to make up for it tonight so even though mental state improved I am dog tired. Hasta manana!
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Hi all! Wow, we're kind of all on the struggle bus, huh? 
Seriously, I've really had a tough time lately, with focus, mood, fatigue, just overall boredom with everyone and everything, including (especially?) myself! Is it a post-holiday funk, terrible eating habits, lack of exercise, too much to do and not knowing how to begin, all of the above? Or am I just in a "meh" stage of my recovery and on the verge of a positive breakthrough?
Today will be a pretty high-pressure day, but I'm determined to do my best to get through it and feel like I've been productive at the end of the day. . The most important thing is that we get from Point A to Point B, and then I can start the gradual work of placing and sorting and trashing. One huge bright spot is that I have a lovely, perfect, fancy kitchen to stress out in...
Seriously, I've really had a tough time lately, with focus, mood, fatigue, just overall boredom with everyone and everything, including (especially?) myself! Is it a post-holiday funk, terrible eating habits, lack of exercise, too much to do and not knowing how to begin, all of the above? Or am I just in a "meh" stage of my recovery and on the verge of a positive breakthrough?
Today will be a pretty high-pressure day, but I'm determined to do my best to get through it and feel like I've been productive at the end of the day. . The most important thing is that we get from Point A to Point B, and then I can start the gradual work of placing and sorting and trashing. One huge bright spot is that I have a lovely, perfect, fancy kitchen to stress out in...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 984
Hi Guys!
@NL: I’m glad travel went smoothly and I hope you’re getting to enjoy the time away without work encroaching on your thoughts too much.
@Palmer: I’m sorry you’re feeling so ‘meh’ right now - I definitely think we can all relate to that post-one year anniversary malaise / anhedonia! Focusing on just chunking the tasks down and as you say, just getting from Point A to Point B sounds like a pretty good approach for now! Sending hugs!!
This weekend has already been a whirlwind for me! I was riding after work yesterday which was lovely, then home for a quick shower and turnaround to get to a social event at mu husband’s tennis club for the Captain’s ceremony. I stayed until around 1am then played taxi to drop my husband and his friends to a bar afterwards then I made my escape and drove home. The perks of being sober, getting to call it a night exactly when you feel like it! Unfortunately there was work drama overnight and this morning, but thankfully my riding lesson was a dream and all the work stuff and related tension melted away in the fresh air. Home then for another quick turnaround to catch an early date night dinner with hubby, which was amazing but now I am super full and feel like I could explode! I’m going to do two weeks of low carb starting Monday, to try and make an active attempt at shifting some weight. I was looking through photos from 2 years ago and I was so fit and toned back then! It feels like a lifetime ago and a different person entirely. I had such sheer discipline back then - though I guess a lot of that was tied up in other issues and related to my drinking guilt and lifestyle etc., so I’m trying not to be too hard on myself.
Hope everyone one has a great evening / night!
@NL: I’m glad travel went smoothly and I hope you’re getting to enjoy the time away without work encroaching on your thoughts too much.
@Palmer: I’m sorry you’re feeling so ‘meh’ right now - I definitely think we can all relate to that post-one year anniversary malaise / anhedonia! Focusing on just chunking the tasks down and as you say, just getting from Point A to Point B sounds like a pretty good approach for now! Sending hugs!!
This weekend has already been a whirlwind for me! I was riding after work yesterday which was lovely, then home for a quick shower and turnaround to get to a social event at mu husband’s tennis club for the Captain’s ceremony. I stayed until around 1am then played taxi to drop my husband and his friends to a bar afterwards then I made my escape and drove home. The perks of being sober, getting to call it a night exactly when you feel like it! Unfortunately there was work drama overnight and this morning, but thankfully my riding lesson was a dream and all the work stuff and related tension melted away in the fresh air. Home then for another quick turnaround to catch an early date night dinner with hubby, which was amazing but now I am super full and feel like I could explode! I’m going to do two weeks of low carb starting Monday, to try and make an active attempt at shifting some weight. I was looking through photos from 2 years ago and I was so fit and toned back then! It feels like a lifetime ago and a different person entirely. I had such sheer discipline back then - though I guess a lot of that was tied up in other issues and related to my drinking guilt and lifestyle etc., so I’m trying not to be too hard on myself.
Hope everyone one has a great evening / night!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Ah NewChapter, I love to hear about your nice time riding, and your dinner with your husband. As I struggle a bit, it's such a great reminder that there are so many things to appreciate about sobriety, including something simple like driving yourself home when everyone else goes to the bar. I definitely don't feel like I'm missing anything at the bar, that's for sure!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 754
Hi all checking in. Still dealing with my broken marriage. Grateful that I don’t have to drink over this. Instead of reaching for wine I reached out to some friends who immediately offered support and prayers. This morning I feel more at peace.
I need to to go back and read the thread but I hope you all are doing ok.
I need to to go back and read the thread but I hope you all are doing ok.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,916
Hi everyone! I’m baaaaa-aaaack. Feeling more human and functional!
Palmer, going to be thinking of you over these next several days through the move. Love that you have a perfect, fancy kitchen to stress in. This rental that my sister found is ginormous and so nice. The kitchen is kind of cheaply remodeled but laid out perfectly with this huge concrete slab covered island with seating and storage, along with pretty cabinetry etc. I try not to envy material things but I keep finding myself wishing I had a house this huge!
NC, I am so glad that in spite of yesterday’s work drama one of the main culprits is on his way out and that riding has been a welcome respite even when the respite is amid the chaos of the sky opening and fresh horses acting skittish. I hope you won’t focus on the physical self in your photo from 2 years ago for two long. I’m guessing you don’t really want to go back to what you were feeling then and even though I know we all want to be super fit you are doing such amazing things for your long term health and mental strength. So try not to dwell on it. You are a strong, horse-conquering bad a&&! That’s what you should focus on.
Scott, I am so pleased to hear about your son’s major milestone. The image of his royal highness and his loyal subject so thrilled with the progress she’s happily doting was wonderful!
Sunflower, girl I/we so hear you on the thoughts of drinking. I say we because it sounds like several of us have experienced that lately. How is the reset going? I read a very interesting thread on something I’ve asked about over in the Alcoholism thread about what is emotional sobriety. I am not exactly sure what I think after reading it as people’s definitions varied widely but I feel like I definitely have some work to do on it. Whatever it is
I’m the first one up in the quiet, big house. I have had my first cup of coffee and I’m so grateful things have calmed down quite a bit actually and emotionally (a great deal of my stress the past several days was the confrontation I had with colleagues in the capitol and not having a chance to clear the air, and wondering if they were upset....after several sleepless nights I realized again that the only thing I can keep clean is my side of the street so I needed to try and get on the phone to say that I was sorry for letting the heat of the moment get to me. It ended up being a really good call and the person I was most worried about also apologized and said that no matter what happens at work we would be friends. I know it’s stupid but thinking that I could not count on the bond that we’ve forged through a confrontation was making me very despondent on top of all the other crap. Having that lifted is huge).
Today hopefully my mom, sister, and I will do yoga at home. I’ll do some work. And hang out with my grandparents as much as I can. Will be thinking of you guys, hoping your day is awesome.
Palmer, going to be thinking of you over these next several days through the move. Love that you have a perfect, fancy kitchen to stress in
. This rental that my sister found is ginormous and so nice. The kitchen is kind of cheaply remodeled but laid out perfectly with this huge concrete slab covered island with seating and storage, along with pretty cabinetry etc. I try not to envy material things but I keep finding myself wishing I had a house this huge! NC, I am so glad that in spite of yesterday’s work drama one of the main culprits is on his way out and that riding has been a welcome respite even when the respite is amid the chaos of the sky opening and fresh horses acting skittish. I hope you won’t focus on the physical self in your photo from 2 years ago for two long. I’m guessing you don’t really want to go back to what you were feeling then and even though I know we all want to be super fit you are doing such amazing things for your long term health and mental strength. So try not to dwell on it. You are a strong, horse-conquering bad a&&! That’s what you should focus on.
Scott, I am so pleased to hear about your son’s major milestone. The image of his royal highness and his loyal subject so thrilled with the progress she’s happily doting was wonderful!
Sunflower, girl I/we so hear you on the thoughts of drinking. I say we because it sounds like several of us have experienced that lately. How is the reset going? I read a very interesting thread on something I’ve asked about over in the Alcoholism thread about what is emotional sobriety. I am not exactly sure what I think after reading it as people’s definitions varied widely but I feel like I definitely have some work to do on it. Whatever it is
I’m the first one up in the quiet, big house. I have had my first cup of coffee and I’m so grateful things have calmed down quite a bit actually and emotionally (a great deal of my stress the past several days was the confrontation I had with colleagues in the capitol and not having a chance to clear the air, and wondering if they were upset....after several sleepless nights I realized again that the only thing I can keep clean is my side of the street so I needed to try and get on the phone to say that I was sorry for letting the heat of the moment get to me. It ended up being a really good call and the person I was most worried about also apologized and said that no matter what happens at work we would be friends. I know it’s stupid but thinking that I could not count on the bond that we’ve forged through a confrontation was making me very despondent on top of all the other crap. Having that lifted is huge).
Today hopefully my mom, sister, and I will do yoga at home. I’ll do some work. And hang out with my grandparents as much as I can. Will be thinking of you guys, hoping your day is awesome.
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