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Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 8

Old 02-22-2019, 03:52 AM
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Hi all! You guys are the best. I feel so bad about complaining, because the house is very nice and literally everyone I talk to says, "aren't you SO glad to be home?" so it seems ungrateful to think...kind of? As I learn more about my true self as a sober person, it's becoming increasingly apparent that I really thrive on structure and order, even if it seems to go against my natural inclination to constantly run around like my hair is on fire. Numblady, your husband's desire to have things "out" sounds like mine. UGH. Luckily, we still have a dumpster in our driveway so I'm going to keep smuggling things into it as much as possible...baby steps!

I've been on an interview panel all week for one of our partner organizations, in a subject matter area that I'm not super familiar with (finance), so it's been pretty interesting and not too taxing since I'm not the hiring manager. I've been working on setting up a little office space away from the chaos, so I can focus more on staying on top of work - there are things I've let slide that I normally wouldn't, which also contributes to my stress and goes against my need for organization. Hopefully, this weekend will be more productive and maybe I'll even get some exercise in!

Numblady, NewChapter, Scotty, Sunflower, Dee - I hope you all have a great day!
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Old 02-22-2019, 05:01 AM
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Hi Class,

NL: I need to adjust my own perspective regarding work and life admin in general - I feel like the 'task list' approach is just a recipe for constant feelings of failure as the list never ends! It also means that no matter how productive you are, there's always that twinge of 'well, look at all the stuff I didn't get to...' and the beat goes on. I really want to try to get better at living each day for the day I'm in. Kind of like mindfulness, but different - I feel I've gotten pretty good at enjoying the good moments, but overall, I feel my head is still chasing the tail of the next day, week, month, task, event, etc. I'm sorry that the newspaper story has cropped up now of all times - it always seems to be the way. Hopefully you can still get to do some fun stiff with your son and work in the letter and meetings, too.

PS: I am totally on your page with the structure and order. I used to be militant about it (to a fault..it was kind of unhealthy) but now I just crave some stability and love the rare occasion when I get a few days / week of just regular hours and tasks to get through in an orderly manner, rather than fire fighting and reactionary stuff. Keep plugging away at that dumpster..!! haha Your little office space sounds like heaven. There's nothing like a peaceful, orderly work space to get the juices flowing creatively and productively!

Hope everyone else has a great day, too!
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Old 02-23-2019, 03:20 AM
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Happy weekend Class! Took my horse for a beautiful peaceful trek up the mountains yesterday afternoon, just the two of us, and it was one of the most magical experiences. Feeling so grateful. Met a friend after work for coffee which was lovely, too.

Off to stables again for my lesson, then a really nice, relaxed day of pottering around the house with hubby.

Hope everyone has a great day!
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Old 02-23-2019, 04:36 AM
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PS seems very normal to have mixed feelings. You are human after all! Hoping this weekend restores more order to your life and gets you feeling more organized and structured.

NC that sounds exactly like me and y’all have helped calm me down several times. That no matter how much you do there’s so much left. And doing one thing means you’re not doing ten others. I’ve always marveled when people say they are bored. As a task oriented person I really can’t stop thinking of them so I guess boredom is never a problem. But slowing down is. Which of course is part of where alcohol came in for me. A forced slow down. So glad to hear about the magical mountaintop ride and coffee. They sound fantastic!

Things are pretty okay here. Rough mornign with the kids yesterday. My daughter can be so intense and was upset it was my son’s birthday and he was getting special attention and was going to get to leave school early. Then he was mad because she was “running his birthday” and I’m in the middle trying to broker peace and not get upset myself. It sounds like it would be easy to do because what they are saying is kind of silly but in the moment, with people screaming and whining and following you, it’s harder. Oh and she voiced her intent to make us all miserable in the out of town trip we are taking for his birthday today. So it was just kind of stressful. And then, as if the universe knew I neeeded some help, another mom asked my daughter to sleep over last night. This made her so happy and took some of the stress off of me so I could focus on some other stuff like getting ready for the trip. And she came home and of her own volition very genuinely and sweetly apologized to her brother. So I’m hoping she won’t be so tired from sleepover that the birthday trip suffers. Luckily it’s just 3 of my son’s friends and they are nutty and loud but low drama. Hoping for the best!

Hope everyone has a great weekend! Full of organization and naps
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Old 02-23-2019, 10:55 AM
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NL: I can imagine how stressful it was trying to mediate between your son and daughter. Little people are intense, and I one hundred percent understand what you mean about being in the thick of it and trying to keep your cool while managing all parties towards an amicable resolution whilst trying to keep everyone happy at once AND diffuse the drama! Sounds like you do a wonderful job of it, though, and I’m so happy a little divine intervention meant your daughter got to go have some fun with her friend and come around to making amends with her brother. I hope the birthday trip is the fun kind of crazy and that all goes well!

Hi to everyone!!
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Old 02-23-2019, 11:28 AM
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Hi guys! Ah Numblady, siblings are either the best or the worst. I used to tell my kids that I had two so they could be BFFs, not so they can fight constantly?! Haha. That's pretty sweet that she apologized though, she sounds super smart and like she doesn't suffer fools - my kind of girl.

NewChapter, so happy about your horseback riding trip and meeting up with your friend. Isn't it so nice that we can actually live, now that we're sober?

I've been trying to put as much stuff in the donation pile as possible, as well as throwing a bunch of my unfinished painting projects in the dumpster. I'm hoping that my brother will take some stuff when he comes over tomorrow, he generally refuses everything but he recently moved into a much larger house, so here's hoping! I'm also taking some of the things I love and stacking them neatly in a closet in my "office" while trying not to make eye contact with the treadmill. Maybe that will be on my list for tomorrow!
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Old 02-24-2019, 05:52 AM
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Hi me! Yesterday ended up being a pretty good day, I was able to mostly dictate the things I wanted to focus on. Today will be a little but challenging, as I have to take my mom so the rest of the family can go to a sporting event. It's not that it's hard to "take" her, it just requires vigilance in terms of keeping her engaged, comfortable, and safe. The movies are always a good bet, but I just checked and there doesn't seem to be anything good playing. I'm sure I'll think of something, and actually it will probably be good for me to get out and about rather than "puttering" endlessly around my house. We can also prepare Sunday dinner together, which is probably a good way to keep her mind active. And I'm glad that my dad will be free to enjoy himself for a few hours.

I'll be checking in throughout the day, I hope everyone has a good one!
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Old 02-24-2019, 05:55 AM
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Just saying hi! Trying to deal with breakfast and make up clues for a treasure hunt for all the kids. Hoping to be back later. Just wanted to say hello for now.
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Old 02-24-2019, 09:03 AM
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Hi All,

A drive by for me, too.

PS: Hope you have a fun afternoon with your mom, and find something nice to pass the time together! I’m sure it will do wonders to get away from the house for a little while and not to think about organizing/unpacking!

NL: Treasure hunt sounds like so much fun!! Enjoy!
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Old 02-25-2019, 05:34 AM
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PS how did it go with your mom?

Hi NC, Sunflower, Scotty, Dee, anyone else!

I never got back yesterday. Focused on summer camp stuff. Then had more drama with my husband. It’s so draining sometimes. I guess neither one of us really feels heard, but I continue to wonder how much of his perspective is fueled by alcohol. He drank all afternoon (his normal) then came home for martini(s) and of course he was quick to provocation. I don’t mean to whine as there are issues on both sides of our street. Just having left alcohol in the rear view mirror I can’t help but assume it sways and influences his temperament.

Overall though it was a good weekend. Not a ton of exercise as such but some fun times with the kids. Yesterday was beautiful here though I basically just laid in bed and worked on summer camp planning and misc. crap that is not work but that I needed to work on if that makes sense. Now I’m basically late to go into the office but just wanted to check in before the chaos begins full force.
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Old 02-25-2019, 07:41 AM
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Hi Class,

Unfortunately I did something to my back whilst riding yesterday and I am quite sore and stiff today. I'm taking this as a sign to get back to yoga, so I will be going to Bikram tomorrow evening after work, and I'm going to try to get to a weekly class from here on out. With all the riding, it's not possible to go as frequently as I was beforehand, but I think a weekly class is manageable and I definitely miss it!

I've been having a lot of drinking thoughts over the last few days. I don't feel like I'm going to drink, and it's weird, because when I tease it out, I so happy to be sober and I am able to call the AV out on its BS, but it's definitely got me feeling a little wary. I'm not particularly stressed, either, which is usually the catalyst - it's almost as much as I am loving every aspect of sober life right now, a part of me misses the wild streak and the ability to just let loose. Fabrications and false, romanticised illusions, of course.

NL: I'm sorry that things were a bit contentious with hubby. I definitely think drinking colours our perception, or at least it did mine when I was drinking, so I can see how you feel that way when appraising the exchanges with your husband. I'm happy you at least got to enjoy some lovely weather and take some time to get on top of the non-work work stuff!

Hope everyone has a great day!
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Old 02-25-2019, 08:10 AM
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Still standing, still fighting, still winning 😃
27 days x
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Old 02-25-2019, 08:30 AM
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Congratulations on 27 days, Doris!
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Old 02-25-2019, 10:09 AM
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Hieveryone,

Just a flyby. All is good here just crazy busy as the start of the school year always is.

Having a few relationship ups and downs, but working our way through them.

I’ve been to a few social events recently, there is no pull to drink at all, but I do find I don’t have the same stamina to stay up without alcohol and time can sometimes drag a bit. It’s not a regret, more just another part of adjusting to sober life.

Sorry to dash in and out.
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Old 02-25-2019, 11:37 AM
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Glad you popped in, Scotty! Sorry to hear you’re going through some stuff on the relationship front. We’re here if you need to talk.
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Old 02-26-2019, 03:30 AM
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Hi Class,

My back is a little better today, though still sore and stiff. Hoping Bikram this evening will help to loosen it out. Feeling good after clearing out some closet space last night (something I’ve had on my list for ages). Still lots of ‘spring cleaning’ to do, but at least I’ve made a start. Felt great to put on a pair of trousers this morning which had been tight to find them fitting nicely. Weight on the scales not moving, but I can feel a sure different in my clothes and how I feel, so I’m not going to get caught up on a number (even though it is super frustrating!).

Hoping to have another productive work day today, then dentist and dental hygienist appointments in the afternoon.

It’s a lovely, bright day here which has lifted my mood!

Hope everyone has a great day :-)
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Old 02-26-2019, 03:50 AM
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NC, sorry about the back. I am with you in hoping the yoga will help!

Scotty, always nice to hear from you. Completely agree on the lack of stamina for events. I went out with some work colleagues last night before I had to pick up my daughter from dance class and I was at least slightly relieved to have a reason to go. I mean it was okay and I got some important work intel which was part of why I went when I’m drowning at work. But when the others were several drinks in and one a little slurry I was glad to not be stuck in thinking that was fun anymore.

I have been missing a lot of workouts lately. I am trying to do one this morning but my body just kind of hurts. Probably from not exercising and also from sleeping poorly. Which all means I should go exercise. Have a great day everyone!
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Old 02-26-2019, 05:12 AM
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Thanks NL! Hope you manage to squeeze in some time for a workout, too - I know how important your workouts are to you!
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Old 02-26-2019, 12:28 PM
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Hi all! Sorry I haven't been around, my day with my mom ended up with a trip to the ER - she had another seizure which was terribly scary for all of us, especially the kids. She recovered fairly quickly, but we're all wondering when the other shoe will drop, and what the cause might be. I went with my parents to their primary care appointment and she will see a neurologist tomorrow (long overdue). The whole thing is sad and it's frustrating, all wrapped up in residual effects from years of drinking and her eating disorder. There is a lot of denial. The rational side of me is happy to be sober and able to be able to deal with this, the emotional side of me is just drained and annoyed by more drama.

More later, hope everyone is having an OK day today!
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Old 02-26-2019, 02:57 PM
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Palmer I’m really sorry that things took a turn for the worse with your mom, I can’t imagine how stressful and scary it was for everyone, but as you say, especially for your kids. I’m glad she’s OK now. Hopefully the neurologist can help get to the root cause and help to manage things better. Sending you a hug!
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