Dee74

last part here

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-7-a-20.html (Class of January Support Thread 2018 Part 7)

D

Numblady

Shot gun!

Palmer I’m starting to worry about Thanksgiving myself. We are traveling to my in-laws and work has been so crushing I’m trying to think of Thanksgiving holiday as my break but historically it’s been drink all day every day with my husband’s alcoholic father. It’s going to be really tough to not want to have the glasses of wine sitting on their wrap around porch in what always ends up being beautiful weather down near Florida, picking oranges and kumquats right off their trees and looking out over the lake and the beautiful sunsets. Gotta start getting mentally prepped. My husband already said I should just drink over Xmas (different set of in-laws, his mother and her husband, a little harder to tolerate). So having a little added holiday anxiety that I hope will pass. Will have to look into this Halo Top. I’ve seen it but wasn’t sure what it was.

Glad to see so many pass through even briefly.

I am still not really up to snuff so am off to read and fall asleep. Talk to you all later this weekend!

PalmerSage

Hey there! Dee, thanks for the new thread.

I was up bright and early today, because one of my kids had a soccer game at 7 and my husband likes to wake me up and act like all the gear is not packed in a tote, which the kids know how to find and are perfectly capable of dealing with themselves. It is 100% easier for me to just plan to take them, which I should have done. Another super-early wakeup tomorrow, so no sleeping in this weekend. Booooo!

Numblady, you have my sympathies for your Thanksgiving conundrum. Your FIL had some major health issues which may have been related to his drinking, right? I assume he is back to his usual ways, but keeping that in mind may help you get through it a little easier. I feel like the holidays used to be fun, and in recent years they've been kind of a drag, which I always attributed to the fact that as a kid, I used to be the "recipient" of the magic, where as a parent you have to actually create the magic...but I think it is also the numbness that had overtaken me, both when I was actually drinking AND when I was waiting to drink. I've recently seen people pouring champagne, all the "fun" holiday beers popping up at the store, etc. and think, "ooooh, that looks good!" before I catch myself and drool over chocolate peppermint bark and limited edition popcorn flavors instead.

NewChapter, good to see you! And Chase, I hope you're weathering the newborn fog and getting some sleep...at least you're not hungover AND exhausted, right?

Numblady

Sorry for the wake-up PS. Again I’ll cross my fingers you can get back some of the deliciousness in a nap. I tried to sleep in but through no one’s fault other than maybe my aging bladder I woke up before 6. Then I just lay there. That’s one of my favorite things. Just lingering in bed for a while and hiding under the covers. Love what you said about looking at the special food instead of obsessing about the holiday booze. My FIL is actually supposedly not drinking at all but I’ll believe it when I see it. If that’s the case, bully for me because we can be the sober twins. I’m not even sure bully for me is the right phrase but I’m going with it.

Still don’t feel good or have my voice back but I already signed up and paid for a cycling class so I’m going for it. Gonna try and get some paperwork stuff done before I go — and some errands done after before I have to relieve my husband so he can drive to an out of town wedding I’m skipping.

TTYL.

Sunflower79

Chase01

Hi friends.

It sounds like you are all suffering from 'sympathy' lack of sleep. Everyone is doing very well. We are going home from the hospital today, hopefully in an hour or so. I will work on getting some pictures posted, over the next couple of days. It may be easier using the computer versus the phone.

Numblady, being around lots of drinking and encouragement to drink sounds very challenging. If others are drinking too excess maybe you can use it as motivation to not drink. Look at how stupid things entertain them. Watch how they move in painful slow motion the next day, and may even need a few drinks in the morning just to get going. Force yourself to remember what that feels like. It gives me the chills just thinking about it. You have come so far, you would hate yourself for giving in now.

Numblady

Chase, so grateful you could stop in. And that you took time to share encouraging words about Thanksgiving. Good point. I will probably be pretty annoyed with my reeking-of-booze husband snoring by my side but other than that I think I can just distance myself and focus on all the downsides.

I am happy to say that when my errands worked out such that I was next to a Total Wine store and ventured in because I didn’t have time to go anywhere else and I really wanted lemons to make a soothing honey-lemon thing for my throat I saw all the shiny bottles and thought...what a racket. The people in front of me had a few small bottles of stuff ... I really didn’t notice. 60 bucks. Another dude picking up a keg and wheeling it out. And for what? Just some over hyped liquid.

Let’s just hope this feeling carries through to the holiday.

Feeling really sad for the wild fire victims right now. Not sure why that has caught my focus with all the tragedies that occur all day every day. I guess maybe because that’s what I just read about. Just can’t imagine what it’s like to lose everything like that.

I am sure I can distract myself trying to get all the kids to bed as I’m solo and my son has a sleepover. Not that distraction is the ideal...as we’ve learned from not drinking. Sometimes you just have to feel crap. But also sometimes I think you can spin your mind in loops in a not so productive way.

All right. Sleep tight everyone, and most especially Chase and family.

Numblady

Hello me!

Well I guess last night was my night to have the sympathy lack of sleep for Chase. Coughed violently pretty much all night and am totally out of it because I just kept trying different medicines in a futile attempt to get some rest. I’m sure some diehard AA people would say don’t do this but I’m definitely going to go to the online doctor to get some codeine syrup. I had like a tiny bit I’ve been saving from a couple years ago but now it’s pretty much gone. I think it was the only thing that actually worked. For a while anyway.

Okay talk to you (or myself as the case may be ) later!

PalmerSage

Hi all! I'm checking in late today because my older son and I did a 10k trail run together. Numblady and Chase, I'm sure this would have been nothing for you, but I've never done a real trail run before and thought I was gonna die. I was expecting...a trail? Instead, as you real runners probably know, it was super muddy, wet, cold, steep, through the woods. I wasn't in the last group, so I'll call it a success. It did remind me how much I love race events, many years ago I ran a half marathon followed by a full marathon the next month. Needless to say, I was in good running shape then and now, not so much...but at least I'm in better shape than I was 5 months ago.

NL, I'm so sorry you're so sick! That is awful, but the only upside is that you can truly nap guilt-free.

Chase, it sounds like things are going pretty well! I can't complain about being tired when there is a new parent in our midst. I would LOVE to see more pictures of your little bundle, she is seriously gorgeous.

Sunflower, a vacation after Thanksgiving sounds amazing (or it will be after you make it through all the travel hassles and logistics of course!)

I'll check in later, hope everyone is having a great day!

Sunflower79

Sunflower79

PalmerSage

Hi all! I was expecting to wake up really sore today because I was stiff last night (after I walked the dogs for 4 miles in addition to the 10k...post-nap, of course!) but it was actually fine. It's getting cold here, so I'm not sure what I'll do when winter really hits, although I guess I can use my treadmill and bundle up to go outside as much as I can. It will also be fun to ski without being hungover, pounding a beer beforehand, or rushing inside so I can start to drink.

Sunflower, how is everything going with you? I love the image of you watching the Hallmark channel in front of a fire. Are you still focused on weight loss?

Numblady

I have GOT to get my fireplace serviced so we can finally use it after three winters in this house already. Sheesh! Go Sunflower.

And go Palmer! That is awesome on the trail run. You should feel really proud.

As for me I have barely worked out in the past week. Still coughing. Actually worked from home today in an attempt to rest some. Good thing too because the conference I’m headed to tomorrow apparently I’m the opening speaker. Yikes! I guess they told me or I should have known but I’m totally unprepared. I hope to use my lack of voice as a reason to give them some of their time back. It’s all the staff from around the state so I’m sure I should have something to say but honestly my words are not equal to the task. I’ll come up with something. Won’t be the most memorable speech by a long shot but hopefully okay.

Whoa. Did NOT mean to drone on so long about myself. Sorry! Back soon as I can.

PalmerSage

Hi all! Well, yesterday was the one day out of the year when my office is closed and schools are open, so I went shopping and treated myself to a new cashmere sweater. It's still difficult to get myself in the mindset of "investing" in wardrobe pieces rather than just buying the cheap, stretchy black clothes I lived in when I was drinking and overweight. I find myself still buying lots of socks and sweatpants when what I really need are clothes for work! It's a great problem to have, I'm definitely NOT complaining.

Numblady, I'm so sorry you're still sick! That absolutely sucks, especially since you have to speak at a conference. Even after all of my years of experience, I still get super nervous about any kind of public speaking where I need to stand up...so you have my admiration for your nonchalant attitude about it.

I have a super busy day at work planned, so I'd better start gearing up! I hope everyone has a good one, and comes to check in soon.

NewChapterJan18

Chase01

Hi all.

Remember when I said I was going to post everyday, even with the new baby? That was really funny. It's amazing how easy it was to forget how all consuming this newborn/infant phase is. All i can do is try my best.

Numblady, sorry to hear you are still sick. Is it time to visit the dr? When things like that hang around for more than 10-14 days it is usually time for treatment. I hope the speech isn't too taxing on you.

Palmer, doing a 10k trail run is awesome. Sometimes it takes an event like that to prove to yourself that you are stronger than you realized. I hope you enjoyed some me time and shopping.

Sunflower, I hope the time by the fireplace was relaxing and enjoyable. It sounds like you needed it if you had a rough week.

Newchapter, nice to see you stop by. Wishing you safe and easy travels. I look forward to reading more from you.

Mom and baby are doing great. Big sister is adjusting well to her new roll. I am hanging on for dear life and just trying to keep up. I promise to try to work on posting some pictures soon.

Numblady

Hi all. Well, speech went okay. It’s all the people in my team from around the state so I guess it was good that I didn’t feel great, otherwise I probably would have been more nervous. I just have to embrace that I’m not the world’s most skilled orator but I can still give them a bit of information they may not have. Of course they kind of misunderstood what I said and thought they were all getting raises so maybe not quite the success story.

What was a success story was the difference between this year and last year. Last year I was orchestrating how I was going to get to the store to “contribute” booze to the social event where a bunch of people hang out after the first day of the conference (and drink). Like I remember getting take out so I could start drinking in my room. And I was one of the first to arrive and one of the last to leave, like I had something to prove to people. That I could hang even if I was the boss. When really I also just wanted to not stop drinking. Then getting up to work out to prove I didn’t feel bad. But I think I did feel bad. I think I was pretty tired.

Well I’m still pretty tired but I think it’s because I still have the crud. And it’s certainly not because I helped kill the keg or had any of the wine or whiskey everyone was drinking. And as I’ve noticed throughout some of this journey, I actually don’t care as much if people think I’m fun or not. I really do believe that I’m funny and have something to offer but I also now really do try to just listen to someone. I heard about the upcoming adoption of a child by one of the managers, about some of the workload stresses of a woman I’d really never talked to, the PTSD of another woman’s husband. And I remember it all. So even though some of the crew was trying to get me to drink it really didn’t faze me a bit. Just said I don’t drink.

Chase, you poor thing. I can already hear the fatigue in your “voice.” Don’t feel pressured to put up pictures or do anything like that. Post if it helps you and if you need a cheering section or someone to vent to. I so remember the sheer exhaustion. Well actually I try to block it out and never return to it. But I really do think of some of the sleepless years as darker times of my life. And I guess I am just saying this to emphasize we are here to support you through what you need to get yhrough it and stay sober.

Palmer, I love those days when the stars align and kids go to school or child care and you don’t have to work! I never seem to have them any more and just have to work through them any way but I know some day I am going to have one again and it will be glorious! Hope you were able to get some good work clothes in addition to all the sweatpants.

NC safe travels and look forward to hearing more.

HI to all else. Time for yoga!

Sunflower79

PalmerSage

Hi all! Checking in late after a fairly productive day. It's kind of funny to think that I was bored a few weeks ago, I'm definitely not now, which is good. Generally speaking, the busier I am the better, although not being able to squeeze any walks in has been a little tough. Maybe tomorrow...I notice that I am so much less irritable and restless in the evenings if I've had some type of exercise. I guess that applies to pretty much everyone. More tomorrow.

PalmerSage

Hi all! Chase, I remember the newborn days too, so sweet and cozy but also, that exhausted, almost-trapped feeling of having such a needy little being attached to you 24/7. Hopefully you're a little more relaxed because it's your second child, but yeah...we're here for you, friend.

Numblady, your trip sounds a little like mine from about a year ago, except I didn't drink with anyone else, just holed up in my room with some takeout ramen and alcohol and tried not to interact with my colleague any more than necessary. My drinking days were marked by isolation and shame, towards the end, kind of missing out on a great city like NY by preferring to hide instead. I wasn't really even hungover, just consumed by an awful malaise and mental foginess that I never want to return to.

The weather has really thrown a wrench into our day, so I need to go figure some things out. I hope everyone has a good one!