Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Thanks for your support all. I did react to him saying I felt embarrassed I assumed I should be included. Then he kept telling me how everyone was going to be getting me presents, which embarrassed me more. Because it wasn't about that. It was about being included and having an opportunity to contribute. Why do I have to explain that.
What do I care about getting presents? Nice of them to think to do that but, that wasn't my point. Yes my emotions are all over the place and I am glad I have to go to work so I don't have to worry about drinking, until a few hours have passed. Hopefully I'll be calm by then.
What do I care about getting presents? Nice of them to think to do that but, that wasn't my point. Yes my emotions are all over the place and I am glad I have to go to work so I don't have to worry about drinking, until a few hours have passed. Hopefully I'll be calm by then.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 13
Hey everyone. Day 3. I'm completely exhausted. Was back to work today after being out for a month based on my broken foot. Day was long but went well. Mild cravings on the way home but they passed. No I'm going to relax, eat dinner and relax more.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Guess I'll rear my head... I fought the urge and the urge won, 2 days before T-day and Black Friday. Nothing got out of control 'yet'. I used all my tools and I lost this one. The guilt is killing me. There was no reason at all to drink. I just wanted too. I couldn't fight that urge. And since I let my guard down that first time it was easier to do it again at a neighbors party a few days later. Going to SMART tonight to get back on track. I'm not done trying yet. Although, I feel discouraged because I have all the tools to use and I still make the wrong choice. It's very depressing. I have found that all these movies about major alcoholic tragedies make me want to drink even more. So I'm not watching those kinds anymore.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,470
Hi Sunshine
Try and not be too discouraged.
I think recovery is two essential steps...pone is getting a range of tools, and the other is finding the willingness to use those tools over the easy option of a drink.
do you think maybe you're not totally ok with never drinking again, maybe?
or maybe your life and ideas of fun are pretty much entwined with drinking still?
I was ambivalent too - but I knew I couldn't drink anymore or I'd die.
A few months in I began to see the real benefit and joys of being sober.
I figure I gave 20 years to all-in drinking, I should be able to give 3 months to all-in recovery?
If you can get a similar amount of time up, i'm sure you'll see more reasons to stay sober for good
D
Try and not be too discouraged.
I think recovery is two essential steps...pone is getting a range of tools, and the other is finding the willingness to use those tools over the easy option of a drink.
do you think maybe you're not totally ok with never drinking again, maybe?
or maybe your life and ideas of fun are pretty much entwined with drinking still?
I was ambivalent too - but I knew I couldn't drink anymore or I'd die.
A few months in I began to see the real benefit and joys of being sober.
I figure I gave 20 years to all-in drinking, I should be able to give 3 months to all-in recovery?
If you can get a similar amount of time up, i'm sure you'll see more reasons to stay sober for good
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by starstarstar 
I'm not wanted here, needed here. All of you have everything you need inside you, really! Remember who you were when you were 7 years old, who you wanted to be. Be it. x!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 9
Hey everyone, just stopping by before bed. I'll be waking up to day 4 and I'm beginning to feel some of those negative feelings and fog beginning to lift. To those struggling, stay strong. WE can do this! I've only been here a few days and I can already feel the bond some of you have. I look forward to that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,601
Dear starstarstar, I know how you feel.
Just wrote a long post to you explaining why I have decided to stay.
The anonymity of SR is allowing me to be honest with myself, and who I am. I'm not here to have someone describe the evils of alcohol to me, and why I shouldn't drink, nor give my AV a name. My AV is steely. I want to find MYSELF.
I am going through a very tough psycological time at the moment, not least of which are the feelings I am experiencing about my mother dying (?) and the guilt of finally being permitted to be myself. Liberation guilt. Love ya Ma. True.
I am experiencing an emergence of self which is very frightening, and desperately want to see it/me develop. Not knowing how to maintain this sense, and not lapse back into torpor is not easy.
SR gives me the opportunity to develop myself in anonymity.
I don't come here to be told the evils of alcohol and why I shouldn't drink, nor give my AV a name. My AV is steely. I come here to express my self honestly, and learn about who I am. The anonymity of SR allows for me to do this if I have the courage.
Once that real sense of self kicks in, alcohol doesn't stand a chance, because I'll like myself, and who in their right mind would even consider using alcohol in the way that I did if good esteem were in place? No one.
Whatever you decide, I hope you drop in from time to time with all your own projects and doings, and that as a Class we can really get to know ourselves,and each other, as individuals. I reckon that's what it's all about.
Just wrote a long post to you explaining why I have decided to stay.
The anonymity of SR is allowing me to be honest with myself, and who I am. I'm not here to have someone describe the evils of alcohol to me, and why I shouldn't drink, nor give my AV a name. My AV is steely. I want to find MYSELF.
I am going through a very tough psycological time at the moment, not least of which are the feelings I am experiencing about my mother dying (?) and the guilt of finally being permitted to be myself. Liberation guilt. Love ya Ma. True.
I am experiencing an emergence of self which is very frightening, and desperately want to see it/me develop. Not knowing how to maintain this sense, and not lapse back into torpor is not easy.
SR gives me the opportunity to develop myself in anonymity.
I don't come here to be told the evils of alcohol and why I shouldn't drink, nor give my AV a name. My AV is steely. I come here to express my self honestly, and learn about who I am. The anonymity of SR allows for me to do this if I have the courage.
Once that real sense of self kicks in, alcohol doesn't stand a chance, because I'll like myself, and who in their right mind would even consider using alcohol in the way that I did if good esteem were in place? No one.
Whatever you decide, I hope you drop in from time to time with all your own projects and doings, and that as a Class we can really get to know ourselves,and each other, as individuals. I reckon that's what it's all about.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Hmmmmm what's going on starstarstar? Not really clear on what happened
Tonight was a MAJOR challenge. Went to work and was just hit with a barrage of people and I became very emotional and unmanageable. Craved a drink for the first time since Thanksgiving bender. I was grouchy to everyone i work with, did very little to contribute, and stormed out and went straight home.
Got on the phone with my boyfriend. We were both stubborn and in opposition. Then we both softened and talked about this Christmas nonsense. Agreed to talk in person tomorrow.
He told me he is on day 3. He told me he knows that many of his problems in life are caused by or exacerbated by alcohol and that if he wants to have a relationship with me he knows he must stop drinking. He told me he told his brother in law that he would not be drinking over our Christmas vacation. And he told me that if it helps me feel more comfortable coming to see his family he will stand by that promise. He also said if I don't want to come he will stand by that promise anyway. I didn't make an ultimatum or ask him to do any of this, it is all him. And it really is music to my ears.
I think I must give him that chance. It might be our last chance but I think I will brave it. I am not afraid to take a risk here. It might just be my last risk for love. I really am exhausted in that area.
I also called my best friend and asked if I could call his mother in law, who lives in a nearby town, just in case things fall apart over the holiday and I need to get out.
If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's how to pack a bag really fast and to ALWAYS have a backup plan.
Tonight was a MAJOR challenge. Went to work and was just hit with a barrage of people and I became very emotional and unmanageable. Craved a drink for the first time since Thanksgiving bender. I was grouchy to everyone i work with, did very little to contribute, and stormed out and went straight home.
Got on the phone with my boyfriend. We were both stubborn and in opposition. Then we both softened and talked about this Christmas nonsense. Agreed to talk in person tomorrow.
He told me he is on day 3. He told me he knows that many of his problems in life are caused by or exacerbated by alcohol and that if he wants to have a relationship with me he knows he must stop drinking. He told me he told his brother in law that he would not be drinking over our Christmas vacation. And he told me that if it helps me feel more comfortable coming to see his family he will stand by that promise. He also said if I don't want to come he will stand by that promise anyway. I didn't make an ultimatum or ask him to do any of this, it is all him. And it really is music to my ears.
I think I must give him that chance. It might be our last chance but I think I will brave it. I am not afraid to take a risk here. It might just be my last risk for love. I really am exhausted in that area.
I also called my best friend and asked if I could call his mother in law, who lives in a nearby town, just in case things fall apart over the holiday and I need to get out.
If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's how to pack a bag really fast and to ALWAYS have a backup plan.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
