Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 4
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 556
I just read & copied this quote from "Moral Compass" by Craig Nakken.
I think it describes this community well.
"It was in these people’s goodness, their comforting words, and their dignity that I could start to see and claim my own goodness. They taught me that good and evil have more to do with choice than anything else, that the greatest spiritual gift given to each of us is free will, and that addiction steals free will from us, while sobriety returns it."
I think it describes this community well.
"It was in these people’s goodness, their comforting words, and their dignity that I could start to see and claim my own goodness. They taught me that good and evil have more to do with choice than anything else, that the greatest spiritual gift given to each of us is free will, and that addiction steals free will from us, while sobriety returns it."
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Greeley, CO
Posts: 21
yup I'm getting that feeling. But I want to approach this like I do anything hard, such as loosing weight. I need to really get my head into it 100%. I figured by reading the book and setting a date this will work for me. But instead it sounds like maybe I'm reading the wrong book. It states that if your counting days sober, you've lost already. I'm only about 1/4 way through the book but I believe it is leading into the key is to find the reason behind what makes me drink and reverse the illusion. For instance I have always associated without booze I can't have fun, when I know that is wrong. Reverse the illusion and there is no reason to drink nor counting days that I don't. I'm just telling you what I've read so far, so if this is wrong don't kill the messenger.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 126
Blah
Day 11
I'm in a pissy mood today. Very irritable and unmotivated.
I read a sample of that book y'all were talking about Drinking: A Love Story and then ordered it. Should be here Sat. So thanks for the suggestion. I'm ashamed to say it has been well over a year, maybe more, since I last read a book (Brain on Fire). I really liked the book and read most of it so fast, then for some reason I just stopped and never finished it.
I do that sort of thing a lot actually...I go full force and passionately into something and if I stop, that's it. I do this with artwork and it's very frustrating. I'll work hours and hours on end, for days and days and then I suddenly abandon it, never finishing. I hate this about myself.
I remind myself of this tendency when I think into my future concerning alcohol. I catch myself saying "you're not going to stick to this. You never stick to anything". Perhaps my AV. I understand that it's important not to think into the future but it's hard. I just keep asking myself "is this real?" "Am I going to stay committed?" And, being the pessimist and harsh self critic that I am, I am met with doubt.
So I guess that's my main struggle right now, taking it day by day. Because I have not been tempted yet. I haven't been around alcohol and I haven't even slightly entertained the idea of getting any. So I am thankful for that.
I'm in a pissy mood today. Very irritable and unmotivated.
I read a sample of that book y'all were talking about Drinking: A Love Story and then ordered it. Should be here Sat. So thanks for the suggestion. I'm ashamed to say it has been well over a year, maybe more, since I last read a book (Brain on Fire). I really liked the book and read most of it so fast, then for some reason I just stopped and never finished it.
I do that sort of thing a lot actually...I go full force and passionately into something and if I stop, that's it. I do this with artwork and it's very frustrating. I'll work hours and hours on end, for days and days and then I suddenly abandon it, never finishing. I hate this about myself.
I remind myself of this tendency when I think into my future concerning alcohol. I catch myself saying "you're not going to stick to this. You never stick to anything". Perhaps my AV. I understand that it's important not to think into the future but it's hard. I just keep asking myself "is this real?" "Am I going to stay committed?" And, being the pessimist and harsh self critic that I am, I am met with doubt.
So I guess that's my main struggle right now, taking it day by day. Because I have not been tempted yet. I haven't been around alcohol and I haven't even slightly entertained the idea of getting any. So I am thankful for that.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 556
Oh Ladyship... Maybe your are a long lost cousin of mine.
I have the same problem.
In moments of clarity I wonder if I should be checked for ADD.
But then I remember I wasn't always like this.
Just for the last thirty years of my drinking life.
That may have a little to do with my inability to complete most of what I start.
I too question if I will ever succeed in sobriety.
If the past is any indication of the future; then no.
We have to at least keep trying.
I have the same problem.
In moments of clarity I wonder if I should be checked for ADD.
But then I remember I wasn't always like this.
Just for the last thirty years of my drinking life.
That may have a little to do with my inability to complete most of what I start.
I too question if I will ever succeed in sobriety.
If the past is any indication of the future; then no.
We have to at least keep trying.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: High Desert, Eastern Sierras
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by Ladyshipwreck 
Day 11
I'm in a pissy mood today. Very irritable and unmotivated.
I read a sample of that book y'all were talking about Drinking: A Love Story and then ordered it. Should be here Sat. So thanks for the suggestion. I'm ashamed to say it has been well over a year, maybe more, since I last read a book (Brain on Fire). I really liked the book and read most of it so fast, then for some reason I just stopped and never finished it.
I do that sort of thing a lot actually...I go full force and passionately into something and if I stop, that's it. I do this with artwork and it's very frustrating. I'll work hours and hours on end, for days and days and then I suddenly abandon it, never finishing. I hate this about myself.
I remind myself of this tendency when I think into my future concerning alcohol. I catch myself saying "you're not going to stick to this. You never stick to anything". Perhaps my AV. I understand that it's important not to think into the future but it's hard. I just keep asking myself "is this real?" "Am I going to stay committed?" And, being the pessimist and harsh self critic that I am, I am met with doubt.
So I guess that's my main struggle right now, taking it day by day. Because I have not been tempted yet. I haven't been around alcohol and I haven't even slightly entertained the idea of getting any. So I am thankful for that.
I'm in a pissy mood today. Very irritable and unmotivated.
I read a sample of that book y'all were talking about Drinking: A Love Story and then ordered it. Should be here Sat. So thanks for the suggestion. I'm ashamed to say it has been well over a year, maybe more, since I last read a book (Brain on Fire). I really liked the book and read most of it so fast, then for some reason I just stopped and never finished it.
I do that sort of thing a lot actually...I go full force and passionately into something and if I stop, that's it. I do this with artwork and it's very frustrating. I'll work hours and hours on end, for days and days and then I suddenly abandon it, never finishing. I hate this about myself.
I remind myself of this tendency when I think into my future concerning alcohol. I catch myself saying "you're not going to stick to this. You never stick to anything". Perhaps my AV. I understand that it's important not to think into the future but it's hard. I just keep asking myself "is this real?" "Am I going to stay committed?" And, being the pessimist and harsh self critic that I am, I am met with doubt.
So I guess that's my main struggle right now, taking it day by day. Because I have not been tempted yet. I haven't been around alcohol and I haven't even slightly entertained the idea of getting any. So I am thankful for that.
With regards to art projects that are unfinished, you need to respect your own inner motivation. The fact is, you get to a place where you are bored with what you doing. This is not a defect. Trust it. Affirm it! Say, ok well enough of that for now. Self, you think you might be interested in working on this again? Self might say...maybe. Give it some time. Or no, it's done! Frame it! Or, maybe but can I do something new for a while?
Instead of beating yourself up, appreciate that there are ways that you do things and work with it. If you know that you can only work on something 20 hours, Learn to work in such a way that you can get it done in that time. Or start with something that can easily "look" done even if you had planned to do more. You understand what I'm saying here?
My peccadillo is not being able to leave an artwork unfinished. If I start something I need to be able to finish it in the number of hours I have to work, so I've started making really tiny drawings/paintings. You just have to go with it sometimes.
Finally, with regards to the not drinking...it's all about one day, and sometimes one moment, at a time. Don't let AV and/or your own negative voices get you down about this...because it's a new decision every moment. Are you handling this moment? Well then awesome! On to the next.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by thecurtis56
yup I'm getting that feeling. But I want to approach this like I do anything hard, such as loosing weight. I need to really get my head into it 100%. I figured by reading the book and setting a date this will work for me. But instead it sounds like maybe I'm reading the wrong book. It states that if your counting days sober, you've lost already. I'm only about 1/4 way through the book but I believe it is leading into the key is to find the reason behind what makes me drink and reverse the illusion. For instance I have always associated without booze I can't have fun, when I know that is wrong. Reverse the illusion and there is no reason to drink nor counting days that I don't. I'm just telling you what I've read so far, so if this is wrong don't kill the messenger.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Greeley, CO
Posts: 21
no need to be sorry starstar. I was joking about the 12hr drinking thing. But honestly the book does state please do not try to stop drinking until you read the entire book. After 42 yrs of this, whats a few days.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by thecurtis56
no need to be sorry starstar. I was joking about the 12hr drinking thing. But honestly the book does state please do not try to stop drinking until you read the entire book. After 42 yrs of this, whats a few days.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,742
Originally Posted by cchick
I discovered 6 or 7 years ago that I had an ADD brain. It really helped knowing this, because I could appreciate myself so much more. I understand that there will be days and sometimes weeks when it all falls apart. There will be times when I will be irritable and pissy and I won't be able to think myself out of a paper bag. I accept that. I say to myself, I'm this way today, but this isn't me permanently. Lets just give in to being this way, don't fight it, lets give ourself that understanding we so willingly give others. I find it takes much less time to pull out of it if it's simply accepted.
With regards to art projects that are unfinished, you need to respect your own inner motivation. The fact is, you get to a place where you are bored with what you doing. This is not a defect. Trust it. Affirm it! Say, ok well enough of that for now. Self, you think you might be interested in working on this again? Self might say...maybe. Give it some time. Or no, it's done! Frame it! Or, maybe but can I do something new for a while?
Instead of beating yourself up, appreciate that there are ways that you do things and work with it. If you know that you can only work on something 20 hours, Learn to work in such a way that you can get it done in that time. Or start with something that can easily "look" done even if you had planned to do more. You understand what I'm saying here?
My peccadillo is not being able to leave an artwork unfinished. If I start something I need to be able to finish it in the number of hours I have to work, so I've started making really tiny drawings/paintings. You just have to go with it sometimes.
Finally, with regards to the not drinking...it's all about one day, and sometimes one moment, at a time. Don't let AV and/or your own negative voices get you down about this...because it's a new decision every moment. Are you handling this moment? Well then awesome! On to the next.
With regards to art projects that are unfinished, you need to respect your own inner motivation. The fact is, you get to a place where you are bored with what you doing. This is not a defect. Trust it. Affirm it! Say, ok well enough of that for now. Self, you think you might be interested in working on this again? Self might say...maybe. Give it some time. Or no, it's done! Frame it! Or, maybe but can I do something new for a while?
Instead of beating yourself up, appreciate that there are ways that you do things and work with it. If you know that you can only work on something 20 hours, Learn to work in such a way that you can get it done in that time. Or start with something that can easily "look" done even if you had planned to do more. You understand what I'm saying here?
My peccadillo is not being able to leave an artwork unfinished. If I start something I need to be able to finish it in the number of hours I have to work, so I've started making really tiny drawings/paintings. You just have to go with it sometimes.
Finally, with regards to the not drinking...it's all about one day, and sometimes one moment, at a time. Don't let AV and/or your own negative voices get you down about this...because it's a new decision every moment. Are you handling this moment? Well then awesome! On to the next.
Thanks so much for sharing this. I'm an artist too. I have found that in order to let my scrambled brain thrive and to complete projects I did have to change my process just like Cchik said, AND I had to develop a way of organizing my world outside my brain so that I could have the freedom within that structure to create. For me, that means cleaning and organizing. Devoting time to order. Then I let chaos pour out.
I started a thread called Artists is Recovery where I hope people will share and vent their process at any time in recovery. Challenges, struggles. I use the thread to just organize my thoughts and goals or air frustrations and to talk about successful times as well. All of it. It's been really helpful for me.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,742
Ok well, I'm getting ready for work. I ate pretty well today, lots of plants. I made myself do yoga even though I didn't want to. I did a minimal amount of artwork.... But I'm very happy with the state of my house and that always bodes well for my creative work.
Wish the lizard that lives in my room would come back. It's cold so he might be hibernating. His name is Lil Craig
Wish the lizard that lives in my room would come back. It's cold so he might be hibernating. His name is Lil Craig
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Originally Posted by cchick
Checking in Nobenders! I've got a simple question for you...are your day counts referring to sobriety or complete abstinence?
My inner addict was an equal opportunity addiction - if I wasn't drinking, I'd be smoking pot again, which got me back to drinking.
I had a void in me I couldn't fill with stuff no matter how I tried - working on healing the void worked much better - and the first step to doing that was not to get drunk or high anymore.
D
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,901
Back again! Sorry my scatterbrain hasn't caught up on reading posts lately. Hope everyone is doing okay. Thanks everyone for being here! Think I may stop by the December class as well, since I drank yesterday. Yuck.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: High Desert, Eastern Sierras
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by Dee74
My day count was complete abstinence from everything.
My inner addict was an equal opportunity addiction - if I wasn't drinking, I'd be smoking pot again, which got me back to drinking.
I had a void in me I couldn't fill with stuff no matter how I tried - working on healing the void worked much better - and the first step to doing that was not to get drunk or high anymore.
D
My inner addict was an equal opportunity addiction - if I wasn't drinking, I'd be smoking pot again, which got me back to drinking.
I had a void in me I couldn't fill with stuff no matter how I tried - working on healing the void worked much better - and the first step to doing that was not to get drunk or high anymore.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Hey y'all. Just a quick post. Very busy with finals at school. Applekat- read your list, good stuff. Will def use. Just checked the counter and I'm at 64 days. Whoop! Had my first (eek) therapy appointment today, wasn't so bad. It felt good to unload all that baggage on someone. More later, stay sober!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Originally Posted by thecurtis56
yup I'm getting that feeling. But I want to approach this like I do anything hard, such as loosing weight. I need to really get my head into it 100%. I figured by reading the book and setting a date this will work for me. But instead it sounds like maybe I'm reading the wrong book. It states that if your counting days sober, you've lost already. I'm only about 1/4 way through the book but I believe it is leading into the key is to find the reason behind what makes me drink and reverse the illusion. For instance I have always associated without booze I can't have fun, when I know that is wrong. Reverse the illusion and there is no reason to drink nor counting days that I don't. I'm just telling you what I've read so far, so if this is wrong don't kill the messenger.
I agree you do need to know why you are drinking for me it was stress, boredom,excitement,bad day,celebration,.....so I drank for all the good reasons I also felt like I wasn't having fun if I wasn't drinking. It finally got to the point were it wasn't fun anymore and I felt like S**T .I was getting weak and had no energy i was falling even when I wasn't drinking my balance was off. I decided I've got to stop this and get my life back. 28 days i feel great. I still like to count the days sober makes me feel good.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Actually trying to find the reasons I drank inorder to quit kept me drinking for many years.
I know it seems counter intuitive but I didn't need to know why I was drinking in order to stop...I just had to stop.
Takes a fair bit of effort but it's possible - think of it more as an action rather than a deliberation.
You can work 'the why' stuff out a lot better with a sober brain.
D
I know it seems counter intuitive but I didn't need to know why I was drinking in order to stop...I just had to stop.
Takes a fair bit of effort but it's possible - think of it more as an action rather than a deliberation.
You can work 'the why' stuff out a lot better with a sober brain.
D
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