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One Year and Under Club Part 51

Old 01-29-2016, 05:54 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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Awesome Babs! One of my walks takes me past one of the liquor stores I used to go to. I have looked in there sometimes mainly to affirm my sobriety but lately I usually forget I am walking past there.
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Old 01-29-2016, 06:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Babs1234 View Post
hi guys!! yes, on the way to get my hair cut this morning I went by the bottle shop where I usually stopped and picked up my sneak supply---I just looked at the door and smiled. and I thought to myself ---nooooo---I'm not going there and I do have the decision to stop or not----and now I'm home and I'm happy that I had the courage and self pride to keep on going.
thank you for being here---your posts are very helpful.
Babs
Good stuff, Babs.

Hey Undies,

I'm a bit behind with my move and hope to catch up on this thread again someday soon. However, a peak here and there can't hurt.

I was hoping to grow in AA recovery opportunities with this move to a larger city. We had 9 meetings a week in rural PA where I lived. There are literally hundreds here. In fact, I attended a 12 step, 9-hour workshop on emotional sobriety last weekend. I had hoped to go for a few hours, but, the speaker was compelling, so I stayed for the two days.

I heard this at a mtg last night:
Guy goes to an old hs friends funeral. As they are looking at the casket, someone asks why he died so young. The answer given, "ALCOHOL". Next response - didn't he know about AA? The next response - No, he wasn't THAT bad off.

ttyl, Undies.

Carlos
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Old 01-29-2016, 07:28 AM
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Hello,

29 days for me today, and for some reason I have never noticed this forum before. I have been on and off SR for a few years, and have had some stretches of sobriety, but in the past I have gotten lax in my commitment and ended up drinking again.

Not this time though!! Glad to be here with such a great group!!!

❤️Delilah
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Old 01-29-2016, 07:30 AM
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Good Morning everyone !!! Nice to hear from you Carlos
Getting ready for my sister to come and visit next week--can't wait--
she doesn't drink and I love it when she comes. We are like high school girls --stay up and talk till wee hours in the morn.
anyway----have a great week-end.
hugs and thanks for the support.
Babs
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Old 01-29-2016, 10:22 AM
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Welcome, Delilah! I see you've been on SR about 2 months longer than I have. It took me many tries to finally stay sober and I can say that both my second class thread and the Undies helped me so much.

Babs, love hearing how you are moving along in sobriety :-)
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Old 01-29-2016, 05:44 PM
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Welcome Delilah!

Hi all! I hope everybody had a great day. I've been feeling at loose ends the last few years...not knowing what I wanted to do and feeling unsatisfied with the status quo. I always think about doing something, but never get around to it. (Probably because I was drunk or had a hangover!)
Sooooo, I signed up with a program called (CASA -Court Appointed Special Advocate) today to work with a child or two who are in the system due to neglect, abuse, or abandonment. I will meet with the children each week and be their voice in court and try to help them find permanent placement , and make sure their basic needs are being met. My training starts on Monday. I'm pretty darn excited.
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Old 01-29-2016, 06:52 PM
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Welcome Delilah

D
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Old 01-29-2016, 09:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus View Post
Yeah, it's been a hard couple of days, and last night in particular. Promised irl support didn't materialize and I had a really bad fifteen minutes last night ... until alcohol sales closed by state law at midnight. So I definitely need to modify my plan in some way, to accommodate emergencies which happen off-hours.

So I reckon that barging into this thre -- er, joining here will help broaden support possibilities.
Welcome ;-)

Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
Glee, I don't think our eagle-eyed bossy moderator misses anything! You'd think he was a teacher
:-)

Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
Amp, that is a good one. In my IOP we did an exercise on the white board about similar except that they showed 3 distinct ways of thinking:

Addict mind
Clean mind
Wise mind

That breakdown helped me better understand where I was and where I needed to go.

BeFree, Toots has some really good advice IMHO!
I guess that's along the same lines as a higher power. It is for me anyway.
Hey--I seem to be learning...cool. I feel kind of like a child learning life again at this point. You have to be ever wary of the av.
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Old 01-30-2016, 01:15 AM
  # 89 (permalink)  
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Good to see you BF, how are you?

KIR, that is a wonderful thing to do, children so need a voice.

Welcome Deliah, I've seen your name on threads. Is is a great place for support and advise.

BeFree how are you? I hope you are managing to hold out and reach out. X

Hugs Undies x
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Old 01-30-2016, 01:57 AM
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KIR. That casa programme sounds really interesting and worthwhile. Good luck and enjoy it!

Welcome Delilah!

Have a great weekend everyone!
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Old 01-30-2016, 05:04 AM
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Welcome Delilah!

I have had a very good week with my recovery. Cravings have been absent and any residual fuzzy head feelings are all but gone. I feel good that this is the time when I will succeed with this and put alcohol in the past. Checking in here on a (almost) daily basis and reading everyone's posts has been a big help. Thanks everybody!

KIR- That program sounds awesome and is sorely needed for many kids. I wish you great success with this!

BlueFairy- I am wary of the AV. I am learning more every day as well with alcohol out of the way.

Have a good weekend everyone.
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Old 01-30-2016, 05:29 AM
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Good to see you, BlueFairy. This is certainly one heck of a journey we are on in so many ways. Some days are peaceful, some for me are like hanging on and letting life happen at what feels like a blistering pace.

WWS, I still post every day because I feel that by staying involved I stay sober. After some long spells sober before, I know just how easy it can be to slip. This keeps it front and center in my brain so that I don't "accidentally" have a sip without thinking.

Even though I sometimes refer to staying vigilant, those words feel to me like something rigid. The way I feel is actually more "relaxed but aware". I rely on my long history of alternating drinking and fairly long sober periods to inform my current actions.

KIR, great to hear that you have found such a wonderful opportunity!
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Old 01-30-2016, 09:39 AM
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KIR - The program you're getting involved in sounds amazing. I actually changed my career entirely when I got sober and started doing work I had no previous training or background in. I found a lot of satisfaction immersing myself in something new, and in connecting with other people doing the same. I also found that with my new recovery principles I was a better learner, employee, coworker, and friend than I'd ever been before.

Saskia - I like your definition of vigilance as relaxed but aware! I carve out time for recovery in my busy schedule because it makes me more relaxed and more aware.

Last night at the end of a busy week, I headed to a meeting. I wanted to see my sponsor and relax with the familiar crew, but when I got there I just couldn't relax.

Old me would have thought "See! This is pointless! This isn't helping you. You should be home relaxing! Why are you here? Some of these people are weird!!"

Today I'm more "aware". It's not that the meeting wasn't good; I was just stressed and distracted. There were tons of people there, many of whom some shared some really deep, interesting gratitude for recovery, and when I got home I felt more focused and relaxed. I'm humbled by this power of this program.

I hope everyone has a nice and sober weekend!!
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Old 01-30-2016, 10:56 AM
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Glee- you have great insight!

I'm looking forward to this new adventure and perhaps it will turn into some kind of career change down the road, who knows right? I'm pretty bored with my job and really need something new. This volunteer position will really help me give back and that is important to me. While I was drinking I stopped doing any volunteer work and even had to step back from law school because I had such a hard time retaining things.....and my son really objected to the time it took away from him. He only has one childhood and I was only going to school as a personal accomplishment so I can wait a few years and then do it if it's still a priority, right?
Way-It sounds like you're in a really good place. Happy dance!!
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Old 01-30-2016, 12:25 PM
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So I slipped the other day and am starting Day 3. Losing a battle doesn't mean losing the war, and knowing the taste of defeat, I'm more determined to succeed.
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Old 01-30-2016, 03:39 PM
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Hello Everyone,

Still struggling here. Absolutely no problem not drinking but just fed up of tiredness, no 'magic reward' ( life is still life, unsurprisingly ), but also starting to realise that a significant number of relationship conflicts remain - indeed seem to be amplified in the absence of me drinking.

It is all very tiring . On top of the tiredness presumably coming from withdrawal. And the tiredness coming from working harder and longer hours. And the three young kids.

Sobriety is wonderful and I cherish it. 34 weeks without a hangover and no desire to drink. These are truly the best 34 weeks of my adult life...

But I can't help feeling short changed somehow.

Just wanted to share this.

Fradley
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Old 01-30-2016, 04:02 PM
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Fradley, I "get" the feeling of being short-changed! I am happy to say that for me that eventually got better. What kinds of things are you doing to grow as a person in sobriety? I've found that just going on day-to-day without doing the work on myself that I need to doesn't work well.

Thumpa, good that you are posting. This isn't an easy road but it is life changing and life affirming.
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Old 01-30-2016, 04:14 PM
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I too am finding that sobriety hasn't changed relationship problems. So now I'm evaluating which ones merit repair work and which ones are too far gone.
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Old 01-30-2016, 05:45 PM
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Thumpalumpacus good for getting right back at it. There is a lot of support here when you need it. It is only one setback but it is also a new start!

Fradley- In my last sobriety effort I had high expectations of getting sober and grand visions of big changes and all of that. Ultimately it didn't work. When I started getting sober again I lowered my expectations and so far that is working better for me. I have made some changes and see a lot of progress but I am letting things happen in it's own time.

I've heard of a lot of stories of relationship problems that surface when the mask of alcohol disappears. It is something we must all grapple with and work through. One thing I have learned on this thread is that everyone with long sober streaks seems a lot happier!
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Old 01-30-2016, 08:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus View Post
So I slipped the other day and am starting Day 3. Losing a battle doesn't mean losing the war, and knowing the taste of defeat, I'm more determined to succeed.
Welcome back!

Originally Posted by Fradley View Post
Hello Everyone,

Still struggling here. Absolutely no problem not drinking but just fed up of tiredness, no 'magic reward' ( life is still life, unsurprisingly ), but also starting to realise that a significant number of relationship conflicts remain - indeed seem to be amplified in the absence of me drinking.

It is all very tiring . On top of the tiredness presumably coming from withdrawal. And the tiredness coming from working harder and longer hours. And the three young kids.

Sobriety is wonderful and I cherish it. 34 weeks without a hangover and no desire to drink. These are truly the best 34 weeks of my adult life...

But I can't help feeling short changed somehow.

Just wanted to share this.

Fradley

I'm at 38 weeks. Recovery is different for everyone even if we have a lot of the same symptoms. I still tire easy it seems although that's improved mightily. From what I know the tiredness is a lot to do with actual body and mind repair... that is how godawful the stuff really is. It's a real good reason for me personally to not start ever again. I've always been very health oriented so pouring the crap that wrecked me down my throat again doesn't seem like a great idea after you realize-- what a number it actually did on you. Including the debilitating depression that almost ended my life. It's interesting since I've been going to AA how many shares involve their former suicide attempts or descriptions of extreme depression while drinking. Here's proof it's a depressant. I guess I'm a little angry at how it is pushed on us constantly by the industry and socially, etc. Not all of my problems have been solved by quitting but so many things have improved. I went from a job I was starting to hate to a job I love, most of my relationships have improved and things previously neglected are starting to get some attention. Not everything! Most people say the first year of recovery is the hardest and I know I have a ways to go and a lot of work to do every day of my life for my goal of never returning to an addiction that rules my life ever again. I think that's why so many people get so gung ho with recovery because it is so easy to slip back in to old habits-- let stuff go. It's better to really focus on recovery and living your life right. I know I'm still pretty vulnerable--if I get stressed out I can have a night of insomnia still--just had one but I think that had more to do with caffeine too late and the discovery I'm out of valerian--
Anyway long story short-- hang in there. :-)
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