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One Year and Under Club Part 51

Old 01-24-2016, 05:04 AM
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Key, so happy to hear you are doing well :-). It is definitely an evolution for many of us. I enjoy hearing from everyone and it's especially nice to hear positive progress.

That being said, if anyone is having difficulty, I hope they won't hesitate to post, too because we can provide lots of support!
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Old 01-24-2016, 05:35 AM
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Good morning. Not much new here.

When I went to the grocery store they had a big wine tasting display where they were asking everyone if they wanted to try different wines and all of that stuff. I looked at it and realized I had no interest in that at all. Now that is progress!!

I also noticed how many cases of beer were going through the checkout on a Saturday afternoon and I even shook my head a little. But then I realized that used to be me! HEB (a grocery chain in Texas) certainly knows how to push the booze.

Awesome post key! None of your posts have been outrageous in my opinion.
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Old 01-24-2016, 06:09 AM
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Nice posts guys. Just catching up a bit after my weekend away. Thanks for your sincerity Toots. I was able to talk to my sister though not directly about her issues. I think we'll be closer now. I hope so.

Here's a copy of what I just posted in my month group:

Hey guys, I'm at the airport in Amsterdam. A great weekend despite my brother in law dropping a load of magic mushrooms and freaking out over dinner and my brother overdoing the red wine and crying on my shoulder that he misses the old me (when we used to get wasted together). It's an amazing city and it made my mum so happy to get all of us together.

I am so thankful to be travelling home with some beautiful memories... And no hangover!

I'm going to spend Sunday on the road but I hope you guys have a great one. Throw snowballs and laugh out loud if you get a chance. You only live once!
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Old 01-24-2016, 10:34 AM
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Amp -

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Old 01-24-2016, 11:00 AM
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Glad to hear things went well Amp.
doing well---hope everyone has a great week.
Leaving town tomorrow will be back on Tuesday eve.
hugs everyone

babs
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Old 01-24-2016, 11:15 AM
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Amp - Sounds like a successful trip. I visited Amsterdam in my early 20's and what I do remember of it was very pretty. Anyway, I can relate to your experience being surrounded by people who are getting drunk or wasted - and begging you to join them - while you're keeping yourself sober. Good job!

WWS - It feels so freeing when triggers don't trigger anymore.

I'm relieved that I don't crave booze anymore. Last night I went to a little party. I'm not the last one to leave anymore, I'm happy to finish the night at home, and I always remember the end of the night.
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Old 01-24-2016, 11:42 AM
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Yes, Glee---I hear you all the way---gosh, I can't count how many times. I was the last one to leave or help clean up with maybe the excuse to have just one more. Ugh.
Like I tell people now---maybe I'm starting to grow up. ha ha ha
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Old 01-25-2016, 05:07 AM
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Originally Posted by gleefan View Post

WWS - It feels so freeing when triggers don't trigger anymore.

I'm relieved that I don't crave booze anymore. Last night I went to a little party. I'm not the last one to leave anymore, I'm happy to finish the night at home, and I always remember the end of the night.
I'm almost there. I have no real cravings for alcohol at all on a daily basis but the danger of stress induced cravings is still a worry for me. Yes it is good to be free of the desire for alcohol but I can't let my guard down yet! Thanks, your posts are always inspiring!
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Old 01-25-2016, 02:57 PM
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Hey guys. Haven't been on here for awhile. Still wish I could find a way o get my password and log into my account on my SR app. Oh well.

I got some bad news that my mom will be moving back into the house in a few weeks. My mom is also an alcoholic and can't handle her booze. She drives around wasted drinking and comes home yelling. Unfortunately she has no where else to go and I have a home loan in my name so can't afford to move out. There's really no way to get out of the situation and I am dreading it. It's stressing me out. I can't handle all of the yelling.
Been wanting to drink really bad since I got this news Saturday. Trying not to tho. I just don't see how it will be possible to be back in the living situation and stay sober as well. Giving up seems like it would be a lot easier but I also don't want to be hungover and ended up loosing my job and everything.
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Old 01-25-2016, 03:43 PM
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WWS - I haven't let my guard down yet either because I don't want to! Vigilance is something I got in the habit of early on, and it's what I hear over and over from people who stay sober, so as my sponsor says, "Sobriety comes first!"

My sponsor's right. Without sobriety, I'm a mess! And in case I forget, over the weekend when I was at a little party, there was someone who was way over beveraged, kinda out of it and slurring. Early on that type of behavior triggered me. (Two years ago, I drank three weeks into my sobriety because I was triggered by someone who was drinking like I used to.) I am so grateful that now I am at a point where seeing that behavior gives me pause to think about how I used to carry myself at parties.

It took a while before sobriety started seeping into the rest of my life, and I started making decisions that were directed towards more than just abstinence from booze - and into joy, happiness, acceptance, and humility. Eh, so I'm not the life of the party anymore, but I am so grateful that I am now actually comfortable finishing off any evening in my own company.

BoozeFree - It sounds like a difficult situation with your mom. Many alcoholics recover while living with active drinkers. Have you looked into Al Anon or the friends and family side of SR? The simple but true principle they assert is that you didn't cause your mom's behavior, can't change it, and can't control it. You can can control how you respond to her behavior. You don't have to join her drinking. I've found a lot of inspiration to make myself healthy, strong and sober through those support networks.

I'm off to my kid's hockey practice. Have a good day everyone!
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Old 01-25-2016, 04:27 PM
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Happy Monday all.
Amp-I'm glad your weekend went well
BF-you have the choice to join your ur mom or be an example. I hope it all goes better then you think it will.
Glee- great post.
Way-great job. I can't wait until I don't have cravings. Just the last couple of weeks have been tough, as I shared with you all.
On Saturday I almost gave in. Hubby and my son went camping and I thought...what the hell who would know! I was on my way home from the market (I didn't buy wine while I was there because I wasn't even thinking about drinking then) and as I was driving up the hill I decided that I was going to party. Then I thought HALT. I realized I felt lonely because I had been isolating myself the past week. I called my GF and just asked how she was doing and chatted for awhile while I was sitting in my driveway. We didn't talk about alcohol, just kids, work, etc.... I went in the house and thanked my higher power, posted on the gratitude thread, and just relaxed the rest of the weekend with no further cravings! Thank you all for showing me how to deal with this crap!
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Old 01-25-2016, 06:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
as I was driving up the hill I decided that I was going to party. Then I thought HALT. I realized I felt lonely because I had been isolating myself the past week. I called my GF and just asked how she was doing and chatted for awhile while I was sitting in my driveway. We didn't talk about alcohol, just kids, work, etc.... I went in the house and thanked my higher power, posted on the gratitude thread, and just relaxed the rest of the weekend with no further cravings!
KIR - What a powerful story! I really appreciate you sharing how reaching out to your friend helped you get through a tough craving.
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Old 01-25-2016, 07:04 PM
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I am really grateful to all of you! In the November class I think there were 58 of us and all but 2-3 have slipped. When I was a couple blocks from home, and actually decided that I would drink, my AV used that as a justification. Wth-everybody in your class is slipping up and starting over so you can too. But then I though about the undies and realized that you guys weren't and so many of you are so much happier. My GF is probably wondering why I just called to talk about "nothing" on a Saturday afternoon because I rarely call people. (I'm a texter).
Day 78 is done. ��
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Old 01-25-2016, 08:00 PM
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KIR, great job getting through that! Those urges can and do pop in occasionally. It does get better.

BF, sorry to hear about your difficult situation. One thing to remember is that you are worth being sober! I think Glee's suggestions about Al-anon and/or Friends &Family forum are really good ones. I understand it will be stressful but in the end drinking will be even more stressful.
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Old 01-25-2016, 11:07 PM
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Great job KIR! Sometimes it is just as simple as doing something else for a bit to offset a bad craving

Bf. Your situation certainly sounds testing but don't let it be the excuse that your AV is looking for! Keep the faith! You can do it!!!
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Old 01-26-2016, 05:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
I was on my way home from the market (I didn't buy wine while I was there because I wasn't even thinking about drinking then) and as I was driving up the hill I decided that I was going to party. Then I thought HALT. I realized I felt lonely because I had been isolating myself the past week. I called my GF and just asked how she was doing and chatted for awhile while I was sitting in my driveway. We didn't talk about alcohol, just kids, work, etc.... I went in the house and thanked my higher power, posted on the gratitude thread, and just relaxed the rest of the weekend with no further cravings! Thank you all for showing me how to deal with this crap!
Success! Excellent job on dealing with that craving and THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT!!!!

Boozefree- that does sound like a tough situation. Sometimes looking at the behavior of drunk people when sober is an eye opener. I often use that as resolve to never be like that again. Maybe that can help.
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Old 01-26-2016, 06:04 AM
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Hey guys! Found this interesting. Stop listening to AV. Start listening to wise mind... And, of course, how to distinguish between the two...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/addicti...olism-talking/
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Old 01-26-2016, 06:34 AM
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Hi guys,


KIR great example of how to work through a craving logically and recognise it for what it is.

BeFree, that is not a good situation to be in, I imagine you feel as if you are being backed into a corner.
First off, is her moving in with you the only option, or is it that the family decided 'oh, BeFree has room, mom can stay there'? Your mom is an adult and not necessarily your responsibility. That said if you feel there is no alternative, then I feel you would be best to put your boundaries in place from the get go and don't be moved on them. If you don't want drinking in your house, say so, or make it clear that she keeps her drinking to her room. Let her know that you will not be verbally abused in your own house, that she is staying with you on the understanding she respects you. Don't allow the grown up you to become the child that she can manipulate and use. And contact the techies here about your account, if needs be set up a new one (BeFree2.0) so you are not isolated.
Ramp up the meetings, go every night if it gives you support and gets you away from give situation.
Above all, no one can make you drink. Only you can allow it. Don't let your AV talk you into giving up the fight, you are being tested, but not beyond endurance if you accept the strength and support of those who care for you. X
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Old 01-26-2016, 08:59 AM
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Originally Posted by amp123 View Post
Hey guys! Found this interesting. Stop listening to AV. Start listening to wise mind... And, of course, how to distinguish between the two...
Is That Your Alcoholism Talking?
Amp, that is a good one. In my IOP we did an exercise on the white board about similar except that they showed 3 distinct ways of thinking:

Addict mind
Clean mind
Wise mind

That breakdown helped me better understand where I was and where I needed to go.

BeFree, Toots has some really good advice IMHO!
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Old 01-26-2016, 02:53 PM
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Hello everyone,

I feel more than a little guilty that I haven't checked into SR for a long while. I just ran out of steam sometime before xmas and have been plodding along ever since.

Still sober and extremely grateful to have put all of my preconceptions and prejudices about AA to one side and hit a meeting in October.

I'm starting to realise just how sick I was, and the extent to which I was prepared to believe the lies I told myself.

Also my sobriety has removed a key element of the conflicts I have been involved with (wife, family, friends - even customers and suppliers) ... What remains however is another issue to be dealt with. I'm not sure I have the energy.

So I am still tired. And tired of being tired. Yet astonished that I could have got anything done at all when I was drinking.

And I'm not drinking now.

In fact I am beyond 'not drinking'. I am sober.

And ultimately, this is all that matters.

Thank you all for keeping this thread alive. I'm going to catch up in the next few days, and hopefully start reporting for duty again soon.

Stay well

Fradley
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