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One Year and Under Club Part 51

Old 01-26-2016, 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Fradley View Post
Hello everyone,

I feel more than a little guilty that I haven't checked into SR for a long while. I just ran out of steam sometime before xmas and have been plodding along ever since.

Still sober and extremely grateful to have put all of my preconceptions and prejudices about AA to one side and hit a meeting in October.

I'm starting to realise just how sick I was, and the extent to which I was prepared to believe the lies I told myself.

Also my sobriety has removed a key element of the conflicts I have been involved with (wife, family, friends - even customers and suppliers) ... What remains however is another issue to be dealt with. I'm not sure I have the energy.

So I am still tired. And tired of being tired. Yet astonished that I could have got anything done at all when I was drinking.

And I'm not drinking now.

In fact I am beyond 'not drinking'. I am sober.

And ultimately, this is all that matters.

Thank you all for keeping this thread alive. I'm going to catch up in the next few days, and hopefully start reporting for duty again soon.

Stay well

Fradley
Fradley-
I'm so glad to hear that your doing well. I've been tired of being tired too. I think mine might be a little depression that makes me feel tired. I'm trying to exercise regularly and that is really helping. Have you been doing things to take care of yourself? If not, you might try to get some exercise in. I'm also taking a vitamin B complex and a little D. That seems to help too.
One thing I did notice today was that my thinking was getting pretty clear again! It was so fuzzy for awhile that I was worried that I hurt myself long term, but it's coming along. I also am so grateful not to have hangovers at least 4 times a week. Sobriety is sweet!!!!!
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Old 01-27-2016, 12:47 AM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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Good to hear your mind is clearing KIR

Fradley, good to hear from you. One thing alcohol is great for is avoidance. Once we stop drinking, we are then face with issues, some of which may be long term unresolved, which we can no longer lie to ourselves about. Sometimes we look for other methods of avoidance, like fatigue. The issue you believe you need to deal with isn't going to go anywhere until you do, sometimes a mountain seems too big to climb, or we know someone is going to get hurt, or we know there will be other complications.
The fact is, once we grit our teeth and confront something, it begins to get easier because we are taking the right and not the easy road.

I knew for a long time I needed to end my marriage, it was killing me slowly. I also knew it would hurt me and my then husband, I still cared, I just couldn't let him drag me down with him. It was an horrendous few months, I won't lie and sometimes I struggled with my sanity. But I kept in my mind the knowledge that I was doing the right thing for me. It was and life got better and better from that point on.

It took me decades to stop drinking, avoidance. But I finally did, because I knew it was the right thing to do. In both instances I wish I could go back and deal with the issue sooner.

Happy Hump Day Undies
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Old 01-27-2016, 05:53 AM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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Fradley, great to have you back! All of the post-alcohol changes can be challenging. You will get through that, too.

KIR, happy to hear your mind is clearing. Sometimes progress can be slow until we suddenly find ourselves in a better spot.
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Old 01-27-2016, 08:00 AM
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Hi all, thought I'd pop in and say hello after KIR mentioned the thread in the November class.

Currently on day 75 and presently adding as many strings to my bow as possible, interesting to read through a few of the recent pages and look forward to sharing in the future.
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Old 01-27-2016, 08:01 AM
  # 65 (permalink)  
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hi undies !!
Just popped in to say Hello---doing well and darn glad that I'm sober.
thanks for being here.
Babs
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Old 01-27-2016, 08:21 AM
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Fradley- Nice to hear from you and that you are still sober! I agree with KIR that exercise helps.

Welcome RedAndy!
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Old 01-27-2016, 09:05 AM
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Hi undies.
Just checking in. Yesterday was rough for me. Lots of cravings. I almost drank. I ended up driving around for awhile and then was up watching tv late. Had some trouble sleeping.
Off to wompland
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Old 01-27-2016, 10:00 AM
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Welcome, RedAndy! Congrats on 75 days :-)

BeFree, sorry you had a difficult time yesterday. The positive side is that you didn't drink and that is a big positive.
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Old 01-27-2016, 10:31 AM
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Morning undies!
BF-how are your u doing today? I'm glad you dint drink. I know the issue with your mom is weighing on you. You are the priority!

Andy-Welcome! This group has really helped me out a lot. There are strong experienced people here that really care and share their wisdom. They had me prepared for the 65 day itch! If I hadn't known to expect it I'm sure I would have failed....it was a close call even knowing it might come!
Great post toots.

Have a great day!
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Old 01-27-2016, 02:51 PM
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Hi RedAndy! Good to meet you!

Nice to have you back, Fradly! It's been a while.

Bf. Sorry to hear that you're suffering with the cravings. Going out for a drive was a good move. Who is it here that says "move a muscle, change a thought"? That works for me

Toots. You are so wise. I love your posts.

Take care all
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Old 01-27-2016, 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted by amp123 View Post
Hey guys! Found this interesting. Stop listening to AV. Start listening to wise mind... And, of course, how to distinguish between the two... http://www.soberrecovery.com/addicti...olism-talking/
This is a great topic. This article as well as Saskia's response about the addict mind/sober mind/wise mind stuck with me.

As I was working on my 7th step with my sponsor this week I finally differentiated my fight or flight instinct from my intuition - probably for the first time in my life. I've always had a pretty strong intuition (wise mind), but my instincts (addict mind) have been entangled all up in it, and I let my instincts rule because I confused my sense in the moment with what's right. Hence the evasion of responsibility, escapism, argumentativeness, and burnt bridges.

Last weekend when I faced my discomfort and forged ahead to that moms night out was an example of the new me - the me who was able to walk right into the party even though people had been blowing me off, the me who didn't argue my point with anyone, who kept the peace and won't feel any shame next time I see everyone. It's also the me who realized I had to face everyone that time to make sure I wasn't misreading the situation, but don't have to do that ever again.

The addict me would have been a different story. I would have either avoided it entirely, and vented to other people, or I would have faced off with everyone that night. I am so grateful to have a new way of handling things, and have been working on letting go of shame for the way I used to handle things.

Saskia - Thanks for the food for thought, as mentioned above.

Fradley - It's good to see you here. I struggled with lagging energy well into my first year of sobriety; a lot of people do. I just had to keep working at it til the fog lifted.

WWS - A steady exercise regimen is a great thing. Keep up the good work!

KIR - Hope you're having a good day.

RedAndy - Welcome. I'm glad you found this little corner of the site; it's a soft place to land. I look forward to hearing from you.

BoozeFree - I'm glad you didn't drink. Cravings are powerful, and I'm proud of you for using your tools to move beyond them. What are you doing to take care of you?? Self care is an important part of recovery!

Toots - I love the way you lay all of your experiences out there for us. Thank you!!

I'm glad you're here, Undies! If you're wondering why I keep coming to the One Year and Under thread at nearly 2 years sober, it's because the conversations we have here about recovery apply for me.
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Old 01-27-2016, 08:14 PM
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Glee-awesome story you shared. Super proud of you! I want to be like many of you when I grow up!
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Old 01-27-2016, 08:27 PM
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Welcome RedAndy

Glad you got through BF, but it sounds like skin of teeth stuff.

Whats the deal with you not being able to use the SR app?

D
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Old 01-27-2016, 10:59 PM
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Thanks everyone for the support. Ya I'm not doing much to take care of myself I guess. I don't have the energy to do much. Still have a lot of cravings to drink but trying not to. I bought a bottle that I need to throw out still
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Old 01-27-2016, 11:42 PM
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Hey Bf. Great that you didn't start that bottle but I really wouldn't leave it too long before you get rid of it. You might feel better when it''s gone as you'll be reivindicating your decision.

Take care!
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Old 01-28-2016, 01:10 AM
  # 76 (permalink)  
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Too true Amp, ditch the bottle BeFree, and maybe think of some ways you can look after yourself better, remind yourself that you are in control of something. At the moment I expect you feel everything is happening to you and you cannot take charge of it.

Amp, not sure about wise, I've just been round the block a time or two and know that if I learned from my experienced -albeit eventually in some cases - then others can too.

Glee, I'm glad that you keep coming back here and sharing, it's wonderful to see the road of self discovery you are travelling, and it holds out a promise to those just treading the path of early recovery.

Good to see you Andy, and welcome.

KIR at least you know what you want to be... I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up!!!

WWS, after a while, we can forget to reward ourselves for our progress in recovery. Exercise will help you and remind you to care for yourself.

Hugs Undies.
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Old 01-28-2016, 05:43 AM
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BoozeFree- Great job getting through that craving. I agree. Lose the bottle before it tempts you at the wrong time.
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Old 01-28-2016, 09:03 AM
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hi guys!! yes, on the way to get my hair cut this morning I went by the bottle shop where I usually stopped and picked up my sneak supply---I just looked at the door and smiled. and I thought to myself ---nooooo---I'm not going there and I do have the decision to stop or not----and now I'm home and I'm happy that I had the courage and self pride to keep on going.
thank you for being here---your posts are very helpful.
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Old 01-28-2016, 03:21 PM
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That's great stuff Babs

D
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Old 01-28-2016, 03:57 PM
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Babs - Super job!!!!! What's do you think is driving your commitment to sobriety?

BoozeFree - Ditching the bottle is the first step to freedom. I never found it easy to ride out a craving, nor did I ever feel any pride or relief afterwards. I'm just being honest - there was never a short term payout for me NOT to drink. What I did find is that when I suppressed my base instinct to hide (or drink) again and again and again is that I started to slowly grow. So - not taking the drink from your stash won't make you feel good tonight, but it will keep you sober. Sobriety will help you grow in the long term. That growth will sustain you in all sorts of challenges.

Have a good one Undies!!
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