Saskia

(((Babs))), of course you are not alone doing this. I also wouldn't be where I am now without all of you!

Babs1234

thanks Sass
Babs

gleefan

Fradley - I so get this! It was my experience in early recovery too. I didn't feel well physically and my relationships were a mess. Honestly, I kept waiting to wake up feeling refreshed, or proud to be sober, like other people said they felt.

It never happened. I never had a magic reward moment.

Instead I worked a program of recovery. I developed emotional sobriety tools such as gratitude, acceptance, and humility. I read about spiritual concepts and discussed them with other alcoholics. It's been a long process, and far from linear, but this has transformed my life into something richer and more fulfilling than any magic reward I've ever sought.

Best thing I've ever done is put faith in my recovery and other alcoholics to craft a meaningful life.

Saskia

I think I get it - for me it felt a bit like "ok, I'm sober. So now what's the big deal?" When I really think about it, I realize that if I hadn't stopped drinking I probably wouldn't be alive now. And I definitely wouldn't be aware and simply living my life - good and bad. It's the same old thing I learned in dealing with very old trauma memories - if we want to really experience life, it means accepting and dealing with both the ups and downs. What we suppress we can't work on. If we don't experience pain and sadness at times, we are also robbed of experiencing joy and serenity.

I think that it's in the contrasts that we gradually learn to appreciate what we have.

Keepnitreal

Sorry about the test BF.
Babs you are never alone!
I'm really glad you're all sober and alive.
I wouldn't mind getting an endorphin rush, but I just don't. I guess that's why I don't get addicted to exercise. I am using it as a tool to feel better about myself so I don't isolate because I'm embarrassed of my appearance. Getting the binge eating and weight under control has been a huge improvement all across the board.

gleefan

Thumpa - Glad you're back!! It can be a wild ride at times, but if you reach out we can help you hang on. Other alcoholics in recovery are an incredible source of inspiration for me.

Caramel - Welcome & congrats on a week clean and sober!!

Paul - Good to see you and glad you're doing so well.

Babs - We are all lucky to have each other!!

Stargazer - Your schedule sounds really rough. How do you keep yourself calm and focused on sobriety?

WWS - How nice that you and your wife were able to enjoy a weekend at the lake! It's so nice for me that today the retreat is enough in and of itself - rather than a different location to drink.

KIR - I see great self awareness in your posts. How's the volunteer work coming along?

Amp - I found myself missing out on the ritualistic aspect of sharing a cocktail with others, too, til I got more comfortable with my sobriety.

BoozeFree - I'm so sorry about your test. Is it possible for you to keep studying and retest soon? I'm keeping you in the front of my mind as you prepare for your mom's arrival. I hope you line up a lot of support - AA & Al-Anon need you as much as you will need them. This sounds like a hard situation, so he more support the better.

Vandermast - I'm sorry you're finding yourself at a difficult juncture in life. What a blessing it is though that a commitment to sobriety can come from your pain.

Saskia - I am incredibly grateful that you're here to share your wisdom and life lessons - too many to enumerate. I relate to so much of it & keep the rest in my brain to gnaw on.

Toots - Thanks as always for your thoughtful posts. I agree that a drinking solution created more problems than it fixed. The best thing I ever did was come up with ways to keep saying no to booze.

Undies - thanks for being here for me.

amp123

Hey Van! I had a load of tries at giving up because it was the right thing but I relapsed every time. I think this time is different for me because I want alcohol out of my life. It is a choice, not an obligation. Obligations are things we try to get out of if we can...because deep down that's not what we want. A choice, on the other hand... Well there's a good chance that you may end up happy with a choice that you make for yourself! Be well and stay strong!

Sorry about the test Bf. Well done for making good choices.

Nice to see you Babs. Glad you're staying in touch!

Have a great day, all!

waywardson8260

We all know how difficult recovery can be sometimes but isn't it just great to wake up without a hangover? Sometimes it is two steps forward and one step back but Isn't it a good feeling to know that that poison is long gone and our bodies are just adjusting to being without it? Sometimes I need to remind myself of stuff like this as well.

Have a good day everyone!

Babs1234

Good Day everyone !!
Thank you for all of the posts of encouragement.
You guys are the best !!
I'm going to be out of town till next week. and will not have my
computer--but promise to check in next week Monday when I get back.
take care everyone
Hugs
Babs.

gleefan

Hey, I'm grateful to get to be alive today, but it took me a while to get to feel it deep in my soul. I got to that point by keeping my grats tied to my present circumstances. (Carlos' suggestion). Waking up sober today is a really good starting point for a present-state gratitude list.

Vandermast

yes it is good to wake up with no hangover.....and it was good to have a sober day today........I appreciate it because it is hard won......and definitely better than having to carry on with the ongoing drama that is active alcoholism........am making moves to reengage with a therapist and have returned to meetings......

cant do it alone......and need all of your support.

thank you for being there for each other and for me.

v

gleefan

After our posts yesterday about feeling grateful for waking up sober, I read an article where Matthew Perry from Friends said that he didn't remember a few seasons of the tv show. He went on to say that he was never under the influence at work, but he was very hung over. Like we all said, sobriety is infinitely better than those terrible hangovers. I'm grateful to be fully present.

Vandermast

Yes that's right glee......Mr Perry also does notable work with other sufferers also......

Today for me has been interesting thus far......just noticing my thought processes.....was asked to do a food shop this morning....politely refused as the last time I did the money was fleeced to by booze....my lizard brain latched onto that again.....higher self said no.....will drive dear old dad to the hospital tonight for his chemo instead......happy compromise.....

made a big fresh juice and hung out washing also.....

baby steps.....

v

tootsl1

Van, It's good you are going back to therapy, if only to cope with the emotional issues around at the moment. The Undies are here to help too!

Be Safe, Be Strong, Be Sober.

waywardson8260

Van- Getting more support from therapy and meetings is great!

I am working this weekend but things are going to be slow so I should be OK. I do have a little fuzzy head this morning gut isn't that bad. I guess it comes and goes and it is getting better.

Have a good day and a great weekend everyone!

BlueFairy

Yeah I work at a grocery store too--opening and closing didn't, help wth the exhaustion. That's a great thing about my new job--it's all days--except Valentines week! Next week will be hard-I think I just need to not underestimate. I think trying to get my exercise will be the hardest thing. I'm the lone wolf in the floral btw. I have great help but just never having done it is scary.

BlueFairy

Yeah the sugar thing is bad for me. Sugar was a weakness for me my whole life but it went away the last 4-5 years when I quit drinking. Now it's back with a vengeance. I don't want fruit-I want cake--some kind of put together concoction--something good... I've had some success just eating small amounts but it's like I need it after Every meal and snack lol. I've heard it's a lot like anxiety--if you don't deal with it it just gets worse. What helps me the most is when I crave something get and eat just a little of that 'cause if I try to substitute something I eventually will just eat so much more and then end up finding and eating what I really wanted...means having a lot of crap around but it helps...

stargazer016

Haha! I'm in charge of plants/flowers in my store too. It's a little scary ordering pallets and pallets of flowers for this holiday, especially with snow possible next week. Good luck!

Saskia

Hi Undies,

Busy day and lots of snow here on the coast. Have a great weekend!

gleefan

Van - Nice job understanding your limits, and pitching in what you can do safely. Sobriety has to come first!