Missy7

Day 5 check in. No time as I'm both working and following a complex diet--all that shopping and cooking. The AV threatened yesterday but I did ok. Hope you are all well.

SwimKim12

Hi Patricia, is there someone you can call or talk to? It sounds like you are really suffering and really in need of support. Perhaps an AA meeting you can go to? I'm really worried about you and I wish I could do more to help! Try to just take care of yourself right now. I know you are in a lot of pain right now, but drinking will only make it worse in the long run. (((Patricia)))

bblackbirdflyy

Hang in there patricia! DO you have a friend you can call and chat with? A sister?

bblackbirdflyy

What Kim said lol. I'm thinking of you patricia.

KiKi0615

Good morning everyone. (Almost afternoon). Ha.

Just checking in before I head to my AA meeting & then to run a few errands.

Today is one of those days that laying in bed all day & isolating sounds good. But I won't because alcoholism THRIVES on isolation.

@snowvelvet-I'm glad you are feeling better & told that AV where to go!!!

@Patricia-I'm still praying!!! What action can you take today that will help your anxiety & craving? Here are some ideas I came up with:
1. Pray
2. call a therapist
3. Call a friend
4. Call a family member
5. Go to church
6. Find an AA meeting even if it's far away. The drive might be good for you.
7. Go to the gym to exercise
8. Go to mall to just walk
9. Bundle up & walk outside to get fresh air
10. Take a warm bath
11. Meditate
12. Break the day into minutes
13. Call your doctor again or a new doctor
14. Journal
15.take a nap

Those are just a few ideas. Just remember that alcohol is a HUGE cause of anxiety. Don't drink. Your AV has zero power over you if you ignore it.

I will ask for prayers for you in my AA meeting today. I will just say "please pray for my friend Patricia. She is really struggling," God will know who I'm talking about.

You are worth fighting for....do you believe that? God doesn't make junk!!! (((Hug)))

bblackbirdflyy

I woke up very happy to be hangover free.

I wonder if you REALLY burn as much as it says on the elliptical. 900 in 45 min seems a little unreal. But hey, I guess I'll take it. Could of been 900 consumed in beer and regrets . I'm starting to enjoy hopping on that thing daily.

Only weighing myself on Mondays so i dont get discouraged by fluctuations on the scale. I want to loose 50lbs ultimately. Down about 6 so far.

Sweaty. Shower & food time.

ultradad

Hang in there, your AV is lying and we all know that drinking won't solve anything!!! Try and get outside and breathe!

enfinthechange

Hey Patricia, how are u doing??? Hope u a managed to see some positives and make yourself feel a little better or a little nearer positive! Thinking of you and sending u some lovely positive vibes so u can see something beautiful. .. a flower, blue sky, a bird, a smile, a giggle... anything to lift you a bit. Please reach out for help x

tufty13

Hi Patricia,

Thoughts are with you and hope you're holding it together....

If not.......how about going outside and screaming at the top of your voice?

Or find something that you can smash up?

patricia68

AV won today but I'm not giving up. I booked an appointment with a new counselor. And a doctor's appointment next week.

I don't have friends in my town, my dad is far away on holidays. But I found some good reading about depression on google.

There's one more bottle left in the house. Trying to get the strength to throw it out when nobody's watching. It didn't help. It didn't solve any problems. It just brought the panic and anxiety back...

snowvelvet

I'm glad you made the appointments. Good for you!

You do have the strength to get rid of that bottle. Knowing it's there will eat into you further and just cause the anxiety to continue. Please don't drink it.

Keep posting, I'm here for you.

Evening everyone else. Thanks, Kiki. I'm glad I kicked the AV off. Phones my sponsor first thing and we laughed and called it a sneaky little booger.

learntofly

Hey guys, checking in on Day 75! Sorry I don't post much. I do read all of your posts and root for you all every day! I won't lie, my first 60 days or so of sobriety were more or less hell. Alcohol was the only thing that seemed to keep my depression at bay, and without it, I didn't feel like I could function. It was like a huge black cloud was hanging over my head, and I didn't think I could make it. It seemed like I was just making myself suffer for no reason, and that I could just fix it quick with a drink. I knew though that I couldn't live like that anymore, so I just tried my best to push through. It was awful, and any time I wasn't working, I literally stayed in bed all day, every day. I didn't understand how sobriety was good for me, because it definitely didn't seem like it. I can't believe it, but I think I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Over the last couple weeks, I've miraculously had energy to do things. I've been exercising and meditating and eating healthy and dare I say I feel almost happy? I haven't felt this good in a very, very long time. I just hope it lasts! I just wanted to let you guys know that even if it seems like nothing is getting any better, hang in there! It will get better and you will be strong and happy and a better person for it! I almost gave in so many times, but I'm so grateful that I didn't. I never could have imagined how great this would feel 75 days ago. Don't give up guys! You all deserve a better life! Hope everyone has a great night! =)

Missy7

Patricia… How many times have I been down that road. There's one more bottle in the house. So I might as well drink it. But you know what, that has never been the right decision. It's so powerful to throw it away. I think you should go through it away. And then you'll feel better. If you're drinking you feel worse. Take care yourself.

ultradad

It can be so hard, glad you're still here with us and making a plan of action! Isolation is tough! Praying for you!

Dallow

Patricia, I am sorry you are struggling. Please keep checking in here!

Hi again group, I am back. It was really a mess over the holidays with me trying to "moderate" and then of course when I got some "me time", it was not in moderation anymore. Sigh. Same cirle.

Sober almost a week or so now. Have been devestated, it's so hard to start over and over and over and over...and disappointing yourself again.

I am terribly depressed (again) and actually almost don't do anything at all . Just thought I'd check back in here, since my AV is starting again.

Sorry for ramling about things that we all already know. I hope many of you have kept strong over new years, and if you haven't I hope you will start over with me We must keep trying, trying and trying to get it right!

Dallow

I have discovered that I have problems watching the news or reading the paper, in early days. Just seems like all tragic things in the world seems to increase my anxiety, make me feel even more stressed about my own problems and getting my AV to talk louder. Weird, huh?

Dee74

Not weird at all Dallow. I rarely watch the news now for similar reasons...I get my news off the web now.

D

KiKi0615

Nite everyone. It was a busy day! I didn't get home until 9:00 pm tonight. Sleeping will feel great tonight!

Patricia-everyone in my AA meeting is praying for you!!!

:-)

SwimKim12

Evening, All. Busy day! Went to another AA meeting tonight and really enjoyed it. One woman mentioned she used to drink with the raccoons in her garden...it really made me laugh...that is such an alcoholic thing to do - get so drunk that you start talking to whatever object or thing is around.

Patricia, I'm thinking about you! Keep checking in and letting us know you're still with us

I hope everyone else is well! Goodnight

Dallow

Hahaha! Love this Reminds me of one time when I was drinking with a seal! Well I was not in the water, but I sitting and watching it, drinking before I was heading somewhere. It felt nice to have "company"....they things we do...quite tragic.

well, better to laugh about it - in all seriousness - and work hard to avoid it ever happens again.