Class of December 2012 - Part 14
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 59
Hi guys, I'm back again, no more promises about coming in more often, I'm shocking at logging in now I don't have a PC, or promising abstinence forever, I need to take things one day at a time.
I finished the audiobook version of naked mind and am currently listening to it a second time .I figure I'll keep listening to it until I don't want to drink anymore in any situation.
After finishing the book last Saturday I stopped drinking and weirdly felt no cravings, no desire to drink during the last week. Driving home from work I drove right past the bottle shops without even registering they were there - usually it's a 60 minute negotiation on the drive home "will I/won't I?". My husband had his night photoshoots a few nights last week and I wasn't tempted to go straight to the bottlo and get 8 beers (which I could drink in the 2.5 - 3 hours that it takes him to get home again) as has been my habit the last few weeks.
I can't really describe how unusual it was to not want to drink. I think if I had found this book before I was so far down the rabbit hole my life would be very different now. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about the effect of the book on my thought process.
Friday I didn't have cravings to drink, but had a lot of anxiety about whether I should or not. I decided to drink, as the inner obsession about "will I/won't I?" Felt more damaging to the fragile progress I've made with my mindset than the drinking. It was surreal, the decision to drink coming without me actually wanting to drink. But I thought of it like an experiment. I actually believe in the book's power to help change my thoughts on alcohol and drinking felt like just part of the processing.
Today is Sunday. I didn't feel any urge to drink yesterday, none today. I do feel regret about Friday, which I honestly don't usually feel about drinking, so that's a nice new twist. I'm re-listening to the book, focusing on the things that resonate. Hoping next Friday feels differently. I didn't get the same enjoyment on Friday, which is new and (I think) a positive sign.
Much love to you all, how are things?
I finished the audiobook version of naked mind and am currently listening to it a second time .I figure I'll keep listening to it until I don't want to drink anymore in any situation.
After finishing the book last Saturday I stopped drinking and weirdly felt no cravings, no desire to drink during the last week. Driving home from work I drove right past the bottle shops without even registering they were there - usually it's a 60 minute negotiation on the drive home "will I/won't I?". My husband had his night photoshoots a few nights last week and I wasn't tempted to go straight to the bottlo and get 8 beers (which I could drink in the 2.5 - 3 hours that it takes him to get home again) as has been my habit the last few weeks.
I can't really describe how unusual it was to not want to drink. I think if I had found this book before I was so far down the rabbit hole my life would be very different now. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about the effect of the book on my thought process.
Friday I didn't have cravings to drink, but had a lot of anxiety about whether I should or not. I decided to drink, as the inner obsession about "will I/won't I?" Felt more damaging to the fragile progress I've made with my mindset than the drinking. It was surreal, the decision to drink coming without me actually wanting to drink. But I thought of it like an experiment. I actually believe in the book's power to help change my thoughts on alcohol and drinking felt like just part of the processing.
Today is Sunday. I didn't feel any urge to drink yesterday, none today. I do feel regret about Friday, which I honestly don't usually feel about drinking, so that's a nice new twist. I'm re-listening to the book, focusing on the things that resonate. Hoping next Friday feels differently. I didn't get the same enjoyment on Friday, which is new and (I think) a positive sign.
Much love to you all, how are things?
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi Torii
sounds like your hoping you'll sort of just grow out of it?
I have no experience with that, but I do genuinely wish you well.
I do have experience with 'drinking is better than feeling like this' tho - my inner addict got a lot smarter and more nuanced as the years went on.
The method of persuasion changed but the end result - me drinking again - was the same.
I had to stop drinking entirely, for good - and I had to think that way because once I drank again I'd be lost to the madness.
I had to use this site at least every day, if not multiple times, a day.
My whole life was geared to drinking - and I couldn't stay sober without at least making significant changes to that life.
D
sounds like your hoping you'll sort of just grow out of it?
I have no experience with that, but I do genuinely wish you well.
I do have experience with 'drinking is better than feeling like this' tho - my inner addict got a lot smarter and more nuanced as the years went on.
The method of persuasion changed but the end result - me drinking again - was the same.
I had to stop drinking entirely, for good - and I had to think that way because once I drank again I'd be lost to the madness.
I had to use this site at least every day, if not multiple times, a day.
My whole life was geared to drinking - and I couldn't stay sober without at least making significant changes to that life.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 59
Thanks Dee, we are lucky to have your insights here.
I'm definately on board with alcohol not working with my life. I don't feel it adds anything positive to my world. I don't think I'll grow out of it, per se, it's more that my mind set around alcohol needs to change and doing what I did before - quitting cold turkey, white knuckle sobriety - hasn't worked, so I'm trying to be more gentle with myself this time. It's been about a dozen years since I first tried to quit.
I didn't drink Saturday, Sunday, Monday, won't drink today. As a very rawly recent drinker I can't explain how different it feels to be sober and not craving or obsessing over it. I passed the shops again today without even registering them.
Baby steps. I was probably over confident in January, I'm being more cautious this time around.
I'm definately on board with alcohol not working with my life. I don't feel it adds anything positive to my world. I don't think I'll grow out of it, per se, it's more that my mind set around alcohol needs to change and doing what I did before - quitting cold turkey, white knuckle sobriety - hasn't worked, so I'm trying to be more gentle with myself this time. It's been about a dozen years since I first tried to quit.
I didn't drink Saturday, Sunday, Monday, won't drink today. As a very rawly recent drinker I can't explain how different it feels to be sober and not craving or obsessing over it. I passed the shops again today without even registering them.
Baby steps. I was probably over confident in January, I'm being more cautious this time around.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I could only do cold turkey, although I can't really say I white knuckled it - I used this place a lot.
Some people swear that harm reduction approaches work for them.
I wish you well with it Torii
D
Some people swear that harm reduction approaches work for them.
I wish you well with it Torii
D
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Hi December 
Checking in -- I hope everyone's ok.
I'm heading out soon for 3 days of rain at the beach. Which isn't a bad thing. Maybe no swimming, but also no sunburn. And whatever else happens, hotdogs!
Checking in -- I hope everyone's ok. I'm heading out soon for 3 days of rain at the beach. Which isn't a bad thing. Maybe no swimming, but also no sunburn. And whatever else happens, hotdogs!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Olde England
Posts: 528
Hi All, just checking in on my actual 42nd birthday, coming up for 30 months sober and life is unrecognizable from Dec 2012 and this forum was where it all started. Thanks for your early days support.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 59
Hi guys, how's everyone? Congrats Napster, 30 months 😯
I'm 50 days sober, feeling good and going strong. Currently not having cravings (psychological or otherwise) and I'm not thinking about alcohol constantly.
I won't be around SR too regularly, I find thinking about alcohol regularly isn't good for me, so reading other people's stories and situations is still tricky. Even thinking about long term sobriety scares me a bit. Or overwhelms me, perhaps is more accurate.
But, I wanted to check in and let you guys know how my story's going. It's hard having people disappear from the forums and you never know what's happened. Also, I'm proud of what I've got, and wanted to share that with people who understand.
Love to you all.
I'm 50 days sober, feeling good and going strong. Currently not having cravings (psychological or otherwise) and I'm not thinking about alcohol constantly.
I won't be around SR too regularly, I find thinking about alcohol regularly isn't good for me, so reading other people's stories and situations is still tricky. Even thinking about long term sobriety scares me a bit. Or overwhelms me, perhaps is more accurate.
But, I wanted to check in and let you guys know how my story's going. It's hard having people disappear from the forums and you never know what's happened. Also, I'm proud of what I've got, and wanted to share that with people who understand.
Love to you all.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
You're always welcome here, but I understand completely. You're not alone in feeling unsettled on the forums -- here or elsewhere be good and healthy is all I want for you.
PS I'm always subscribed to December 2012, so I see you whenever you pop in, with pleasure
xxxooo
PS I'm always subscribed to December 2012, so I see you whenever you pop in, with pleasure
xxxooo
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 414
Hello Class of December 2012!
Checking in. I haven't had much personal need to be here lately (it says my last login was 10/2017), but I do feel like I have stepped away from the recovery community when I should probably be giving back at this point.
I hit 7 years no booze on 12/09/19. Not a single drink. I am confident that I have closed that chapter of my life for good, but it's still in the back of my mind that one slip could put me right back into the hell I was in before. This is what keeps me on track.
Life is exponentially better now. I met a wonderful woman 3+ years ago and now we are are a small family unit with her 7 year old daughter, which brings me so much joy. My career is on track with where I need it to be, despite the sabotage I did to it before. I even got licensed to sell real estate as a side gig which I never would have had time/patience to do when I was actively drinking.
I really hope this post doesn't come off as bragging, but I did want to illustrate that one day at a time works! Life will get better if you keep at it, make the right choices, and surround yourself with a good support system.
I hope there are other classmates still out there! You guys helped me so much when I really needed it. Love and best wishes!
Checking in. I haven't had much personal need to be here lately (it says my last login was 10/2017), but I do feel like I have stepped away from the recovery community when I should probably be giving back at this point.
I hit 7 years no booze on 12/09/19. Not a single drink. I am confident that I have closed that chapter of my life for good, but it's still in the back of my mind that one slip could put me right back into the hell I was in before. This is what keeps me on track.
Life is exponentially better now. I met a wonderful woman 3+ years ago and now we are are a small family unit with her 7 year old daughter, which brings me so much joy. My career is on track with where I need it to be, despite the sabotage I did to it before. I even got licensed to sell real estate as a side gig which I never would have had time/patience to do when I was actively drinking.
I really hope this post doesn't come off as bragging, but I did want to illustrate that one day at a time works! Life will get better if you keep at it, make the right choices, and surround yourself with a good support system.
I hope there are other classmates still out there! You guys helped me so much when I really needed it. Love and best wishes!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Olde England
Posts: 528
Just popping in to say Hi, my 3rd birthday just rolled around and life is good, had this corona crisis hit 4 years ago I would have imploded under weight of debt etc, now I feel my partner and I are well fit to roll with this.
Thanks again Courage2 for starting this off with the simple "so what are you going to do differently this time?" question - I often share about that, it was utterly incomprehensible question to answer at the time - and it was my inability to answer that gave me the push I needed to get my arse into AA.
Hope and best wishes for all during this trying time.
Thanks again Courage2 for starting this off with the simple "so what are you going to do differently this time?" question - I often share about that, it was utterly incomprehensible question to answer at the time - and it was my inability to answer that gave me the push I needed to get my arse into AA.
Hope and best wishes for all during this trying time.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
3 years is super, NapsteR!
I hate coronavirus with a passion. My workplace thinks that "normalize" = returning to old normal. Old normal is gone for the foreseeable future, and who knows what will replace it?
But -- I'm rolling too, personally. And I'm really really glad to be sober. And sane. Thank you SR, AA, and Rx.
Big
to you NapsteR! Thanks for the checkin. Big to all Decemberites of 2013.
I hate coronavirus with a passion. My workplace thinks that "normalize" = returning to old normal. Old normal is gone for the foreseeable future, and who knows what will replace it?
But -- I'm rolling too, personally. And I'm really really glad to be sober. And sane. Thank you SR, AA, and Rx.
Big
to you NapsteR! Thanks for the checkin. Big to all Decemberites of 2013. Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Olde England
Posts: 528
Thanks Courage, it's funny I've been working from home for the last 2 years and largely isolated as most others work in an office, now we all are there's a spread of "helping home workers feel included" initiatives - which I've been biting my tongue over - because I'm so important i can't believe they didn't put these in place for me previously lol
I've become a regular church goer over the last couple of years and I didn't appreciate how much meetings and church helped stabilize until they've both gone over the last week. Not super orthodox religious but going somewhere beautiful and historic (and even the most humble village here is 800 plus years old, the old Abbey we go to was founded in 676AD) , reaching out to a power greater than yourself and saying sorry for the week's poor decisions is a humble thing to do and makes me feel grateful.
Hope all is well with you and yours.
I've become a regular church goer over the last couple of years and I didn't appreciate how much meetings and church helped stabilize until they've both gone over the last week. Not super orthodox religious but going somewhere beautiful and historic (and even the most humble village here is 800 plus years old, the old Abbey we go to was founded in 676AD) , reaching out to a power greater than yourself and saying sorry for the week's poor decisions is a humble thing to do and makes me feel grateful.
Hope all is well with you and yours.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Originally Posted by NapsteR1 
going somewhere beautiful and historic (and even the most humble village here is 800 plus years old, the old Abbey we go to was founded in 676AD) , reaching out to a power greater than yourself and saying sorry for the week's poor decisions is a humble thing to do and makes me feel grateful. .
I'm really happy to see you on SR again. You're a good presence!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
