Hi guys, I'm back again, no more promises about coming in more often, I'm shocking at logging in now I don't have a PC, or promising abstinence forever, I need to take things one day at a time.
I finished the audiobook version of naked mind and am currently listening to it a second time .I figure I'll keep listening to it until I don't want to drink anymore in any situation.
After finishing the book last Saturday I stopped drinking and weirdly felt no cravings, no desire to drink during the last week. Driving home from work I drove right past the bottle shops without even registering they were there - usually it's a 60 minute negotiation on the drive home "will I/won't I?". My husband had his night photoshoots a few nights last week and I wasn't tempted to go straight to the bottlo and get 8 beers (which I could drink in the 2.5 - 3 hours that it takes him to get home again) as has been my habit the last few weeks.
I can't really describe how unusual it was to not want to drink. I think if I had found this book before I was so far down the rabbit hole my life would be very different now. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about the effect of the book on my thought process.
Friday I didn't have cravings to drink, but had a lot of anxiety about whether I should or not. I decided to drink, as the inner obsession about "will I/won't I?" Felt more damaging to the fragile progress I've made with my mindset than the drinking. It was surreal, the decision to drink coming without me actually wanting to drink. But I thought of it like an experiment. I actually believe in the book's power to help change my thoughts on alcohol and drinking felt like just part of the processing.
Today is Sunday. I didn't feel any urge to drink yesterday, none today. I do feel regret about Friday, which I honestly don't usually feel about drinking, so that's a nice new twist. I'm re-listening to the book, focusing on the things that resonate. Hoping next Friday feels differently. I didn't get the same enjoyment on Friday, which is new and (I think) a positive sign.
Much love to you all, how are things?