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Class of November 2015 Part 5

Old 12-02-2015, 07:14 AM
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Originally Posted by rah555 View Post
Good morning!! Today is day 9!! Feeling good, healthy and so glad not to be hungover! Over the weekend I wrote about an idea I had...create a collage of all the fun things I do sober to replace the pics I have that remind me of a night gone bad bc of binging. I've been shopping around for some type of frame that I could use to hold a bunch of pics...starting now through 2016. Tonight is the first activity to record..an NBA basketball game. Hope you are all doing well!
Wow! NBA game, eh? FUN!!!!!!!!
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Old 12-02-2015, 07:42 AM
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Ahhhh why do i have such bad anxiety all of a sudden over nothing?!?! Ugh! Going to eat something and take a shower.. Maybe it's from being so unproductive and laying around all morning playing on my phone.
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Old 12-02-2015, 07:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Jemma44 View Post
Wow I had horrible drinking dreams last night. I actually dreamt I was coming off of a bender that began on thanksgiving, blackouts and all! So scary and so real. I was never so happy to wake up and realize it was a dream! Even woke up with a headache

Day 20 something. Thankful for my sobriety.

OH and I are not getting along. We discussed counseling but then last night before I went to bed, he said "no, forget it, you can go if you want but I'm not. I'm done." So I guess I got dumped??
Oh poor you.. my husband is in that territory too.... don't know if we will be together now either after 20 years.... and half terrified... it makes me want to get smashed..... but I won't, I won't. .. I'm going to do **** for me and belive in myself. I am worth it... just because I screwed up doesn't mean I am evil... I have to try and belive it.

I hope you can believe in yourself and do whatever you need to do for you. Sending you best wishes...
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:02 AM
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Originally Posted by tufty13 View Post
Hello class, just checking in on my day 31.

My AV has been ominously quiet recently but I'm off to a gig tonight to watch a couple of indie bands in ******* so I'm expecting some grief from it.

A promise to my class mates, my family and of course myself, I WILL NOT BE DRINKING.

Congratulations to everyone on their sober days, keep it up you lovely people!
Congratulations Duffy!!!
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:10 AM
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IS THIS BAD?

Only 17 days in and I feel soooo lazy! I stay up late and then in the morning once I get my kids off to school I crawl back in bed with my puppy & kitty & read your posts on this site & post myself, catch up on the news...basically just procrastinate and then go back to sleep. Sometimes I don't get out of bed until 2:00!

I'm just soooo tired all the time. I think my body is trying to catch up from the 2 years of hell I put it through.

On one hand I feel so guilty because I have so much to do &'I keep putting it off until "tomorrow". But on the other hand I think to myself..."hey! I'm exhausted. I'm sober. And I need rest. The LIST will be there tomorrow!"

Thoughts?
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:16 AM
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Originally Posted by learntofly View Post
Good morning all! Checking in on Day 39.

Fabat, That's awesome! Kudos to you for taking charge. I loved your post about noticing the beauty of life again.

Kiki, I still get cravings too, though not nearly as many as before. Most recently, my AV will come out of nowhere and say "well, you've made it this long without a drink, so that must mean you don't have a problem after all. This sobriety thing is silly. There are plenty of people who drink as much as you did. Go buy some wine!" And I'm like how delusional are you AV?!? It's like a crazy little demon inside of me!

Keepnitreal, I think it's been proven that people who struggle with depression are more likely to be alcoholics. I've struggled with depression since I was a kid, and alcohol, though it didn't make me happy, was enough to at least keep me numb. It's been a struggle to try to work through that, but I'm finally on a healthy path and at least headed in the right direction.
Congratulations on day 39! You're really doing well! I'm feeling a bit better today. Trying to just accept the weight gain (a few pounds is really nothing to get so freaked about) and figure out the root of depression. Anybody from the outside looking in would think I have the perfect life. I should be grateful, but instead I'm depressed. Always feel like I'm on the outside of life just looking in at everybody who really are enjoying theirs.
I really want to get to a place where I can love all the blessings in my life. I'm going to make the 12 steps my goal. Step 1-3 are pretty much covered...onward and upward!
Good day to all.
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:21 AM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
IS THIS BAD?

Only 17 days in and I feel soooo lazy! I stay up late and then in the morning once I get my kids off to school I crawl back in bed with my puppy & kitty & read your posts on this site & post myself, catch up on the news...basically just procrastinate and then go back to sleep. Sometimes I don't get out of bed until 2:00!

I'm just soooo tired all the time. I think my body is trying to catch up from the 2 years of hell I put it through.

On one hand I feel so guilty because I have so much to do &'I keep putting it off until "tomorrow". But on the other hand I think to myself..."hey! I'm exhausted. I'm sober. And I need rest. The LIST will be there tomorrow!"

Thoughts?
I cant seem to get enough rest and/or sleep either. I never slept well when I had been drinking. So basically I haven't slept well since 2012 I guess. In addition, a healing body needs rest, so I take it as a sign of healing as well.

Don't feel bad or guilty. Everything else can wait IMO, a dirty kitchen is nothing compared to being wasted. Be good to yourself Kiki.
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:21 AM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Oh poor you.. my husband is in that territory too.... don't know if we will be together now either after 20 years.... and half terrified... it makes me want to get smashed..... but I won't, I won't. .. I'm going to do **** for me and belive in myself. I am worth it... just because I screwed up doesn't mean I am evil... I have to try and belive it.

I hope you can believe in yourself and do whatever you need to do for you. Sending you best wishes...
If you both stay sober and your husbands see the change (not just hear about how you're going to do it) there may also be a change in their hearts over time. I'm seeing a change with my hubby. I just don't say anything (although after about3 weeks I did ask him if he still wants a divorce ....he said no) I'm letting my actions do the talking. I wish you both good luck.
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:26 AM
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Hi, Kiki, don't worry about resting a lot. Your body is trying to heal itself! And think back to the times you were hungover - you probably spent a lot of time in bed as well (I did!) so try not to worry about it. You will get your energy back

To those who are suffering from anxiety today, my thoughts go out to you. Try and focus on the wonderful thing you are doing for yourself: staying sober. Everything will be okay because you are giving yourself a chance at life by living sober. You can get through this!

I hope you all have a good sober day!
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:39 AM
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Hello everyone off today, Having a better day today Husband and I getting alone better . Home alone and taking some time for me , made breakfast for ME, and having my coffee . I will get out and do some shopping . I feel so much better every sober day I have, well today is day 5 for me. I still makes me sick to think about the relapse, before 9-17-15 I had 295 days sober out of 13 years.

Well I have learned the importance of staying supported . Nomatter what happens an here. everyone have a good day , I wish I could take you out shopping with me LOL.
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:46 AM
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Hi all - I am having a difficult day - feeling so down about my past actions. But reminding myself that the past is gone and today I am awake, painful as that can feel. Good having my old dog by my side - he's always been there. Thank you for listening.
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by RedAndy View Post
Day 18 and feeling better than yesterday - wife told me this morning to smile and keep the momentum going - the day has definitely been better so far.

The above tho Kiki has now got my mind racing into overdrive - GP started me on Fluoxetine yesterday - one of my worst obsessions is weight and gaining would mean utter meltdown at present - I am strict with diet and exercise (majority of the time) to the point of obsessive.
Fluoxetine is well known as having the lowest risk for weight gain out of all the antidepressants. In fact it is often used to treat overeaters/bulimics to help them lose weight. I, in the past, maintained a very healthy weight on Fluoxetine for many years. Try not to worry about it. The drinking is really your number one challenge at the moment. Don't let other worries take your eye off that! Good luck.
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:53 AM
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Originally Posted by beautifulpines View Post
Hi all - I am having a difficult day - feeling so down about my past actions. But reminding myself that the past is gone and today I am awake, painful as that can feel. Good having my old dog by my side - he's always been there. Thank you for listening.
I'm feeling the same way today about my past actions. Feeling guilty and maybe things I should discuss with my husband but then I say- there is no reason for bringing back up the past. It's over and done with and our actions and intentions are on the right path NOW and that is what matters.
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Old 12-02-2015, 08:59 AM
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You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep reading the old ones....
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:12 AM
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I can't stand the past actions... i want to run away.... the anxiety is massive

I don't think.j can go back home..... oh gawd.....
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:16 AM
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I am feeling so tired too! My favorite thing is laying on the couch or in bed watching tv with my hubby and my 3 dogs. It's peaceful. I figure I owe it to my body...the cycle of binging and recovering probably made my body work extra hard. Plus I had 3 major surgeries in the last 7 years, gastric bypass in September 2009, tummy tuck in December 2014 and arm lifts at the beginning of this year. My body has been working overtime!! I think rest and finding relaxation and peace is key to our success. We need to take care of ourselves. When we were drinking we weren't listening to our bodies. In my mind knowing and feeling fatigue is s sign that we are connecting with our bodies! So I say...when is it the work day done do I can go home, put on my favorite show and snuggle??
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:19 AM
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Oh, I have finally reached the turning point where I am no longer gaining weight and have lost 6 pounds!! Day 24. Trying to eat healthy but allowing myself pleasurable food as well. And exercising when I can when I'm not working or taking care of my 7 month old. So hang in there everyone best wishes to you all. Happy sober Wednesday!
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Fabat50 View Post
You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep reading the old ones....
Exactly! When I first stopped drinking, I had a very hard time letting things go. I would just keep replaying my past actions over and over in my head. I felt so incredibly ashamed and guilty and horrible that I had let everyone down.

Reliving the past is a waste. It happened, and there is nothing I can do about it now. Might as well focus on my sobriety and changing my future. It's good to not forget the past, because it reminds us of why we're choosing sobriety, but don't live there.
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by GoldenSands View Post
I'm feeling the same way today about my past actions. Feeling guilty and maybe things I should discuss with my husband but then I say- there is no reason for bringing back up the past. It's over and done with and our actions and intentions are on the right path NOW and that is what matters.
I think there are more people than not having these very same thoughts. Just take comfort in knowing it is completely natural and just part of the process of making the change. You are not alone
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Old 12-02-2015, 09:38 AM
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I had a nap and I woke up feeling better. But now the anxiety is back. My hands are shaking and my heart is racing. On top of that I'm beating myself up for wasting my day like this. I know it's ridiculous to worry so much about something I can't control. My AV , my own thoughts, I don't even know what it is...it just feels like I'm wasting a day making myself ill...
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