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Class of November 2015 Part 5

Old 12-01-2015, 10:30 PM
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Just for my fourpenneth worth, I get craving too all the time, the AV niggles away even when I wouldn't be drinking it plans it for me.... sometimes before I have had to sit in the toilet, bite my knuckles and deal with each second.... till it passed. It passes. It does. .....
The last time I forgot it passes it was like an axe to fall... shall I drink, go on then.... now.... boom. That was my last long sober time gone.
This time I need to remember it [email protected] so far so good!
Can't believe I'm going to my educational day out today with my students, to meet old friends.... and I'm not hungover. I actually barely know how to do this, to contain the energy and excitement I feel, usually dulled by hangoverness! !! I am like a baby kangaroo. ....
Making a plan to write to my husband and explain my feelings and actions to him. ... I need to start something....am scared though, but sober!
Love to u all.... and keep strong. ..
And thank you.
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Old 12-02-2015, 12:14 AM
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DAY 5 FOR ME

Another very strong craving to use last night but I slept it off and feel MUCH better for it today. These last 5 days have dragged on ridiculously so the last thing I want is to turn my sobriety clock back to day 1!
Still taking my Nac (herbal pill that eases cravings) and intend to increase my dosage today to the recommended dose for cocaine users.
Money is tight after our last binge and this makes things harder as we're both feeling quite depressed but things WILL get better if we remain abstinent and that's what I keep reminding myself of. Happy sober Wednesday my fellow soldiers
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Old 12-02-2015, 12:37 AM
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Hello class, just checking in on my day 31.

My AV has been ominously quiet recently but I'm off to a gig tonight to watch a couple of indie bands in ******* so I'm expecting some grief from it.

A promise to my class mates, my family and of course myself, I WILL NOT BE DRINKING.

Congratulations to everyone on their sober days, keep it up you lovely people!
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Old 12-02-2015, 12:58 AM
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Congrats Tufty - you too determined

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Old 12-02-2015, 01:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Determined82 View Post
DAY 5 FOR ME

Another very strong craving to use last night but I slept it off and feel MUCH better for it today. These last 5 days have dragged on ridiculously so the last thing I want is to turn my sobriety clock back to day 1!
Still taking my Nac (herbal pill that eases cravings) and intend to increase my dosage today to the recommended dose for cocaine users.
Money is tight after our last binge and this makes things harder as we're both feeling quite depressed but things WILL get better if we remain abstinent and that's what I keep reminding myself of. Happy sober Wednesday my fellow soldiers
Stick st it, day 5 for me too, got to heal myself first. ....
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Old 12-02-2015, 02:12 AM
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Checkin in......Day 23 closing out now. Yawning, just weary, sleep tonite. Out of dark chocolate now....so I guess its the end of the day.

Glad to hear all cravings resisted, the AV's ignored, slips avoided etc. Cya tomorrow class....
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Old 12-02-2015, 02:37 AM
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Doctor's appointment tomorrow. This time last Friday I sat in front of her and admitted I was an alcoholic. Tomorrow I will sit in front of her with 5 days sobriety behind me.
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Old 12-02-2015, 02:56 AM
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Good morning, day 17 here, out of bed at 530 once again. I'm not hitting the alarm off and on for 45 minutes. Gee I wonder why...

I'm reading about everyone's AV and cravings. I'm only getting fleeting thoughts, nothing bad. I'm not sure why but it could be that the amounts and frequency that I drank was less than others? (I really need to make the time to do a proper intro) and without intending to do so, when I look back, I tapered (days, not amounts)

Stay strong everyone, you are all in my thoughts through the day and night!

Off to get ready for work, again, sigh.
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Old 12-02-2015, 03:46 AM
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The last few days I've been having a weird sleep schedule but I'll take it since I'm getting at least 5 hours a sleep a day.

So I live in Pacific Time Zone, and when I get home from work, it is around 7:00PM. Instead of eating dinner(I live alone), I am so dead tired I fall asleep within 15 minutes in my bed. So I basically go to sleep around 7:00PM and I sleep until 2:00AM where I'm wide awake and I stay up until 7PM again. I kept thinking this is such a weird sleep schedule but so far it seems to be fine since it's not doing any harm and I don't watch television or anything.

I make a joke that my sleep schedule makes slightly better sense if you think of Eastern time. Since technically 7:00PM is 10PM on the east coast and waking up at 2AM PT is like waking up at 5AM on the east coast.

Eventually though I'm going to have to shift my sleeping time to 8PM, 9PM, 10PM to a more reasonable 11PM. Maybe I can try sleeping half an hour later each day and see if that works.

I don't mind being awake super early when its quiet though. I just play classical music, drink coffee and do something creative.

Begs the question though, since I'm up at 2AM after sleeping for 5 hours, does that make me a very very very morning person or still a night owl?
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Old 12-02-2015, 03:48 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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I vote night owl

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Old 12-02-2015, 04:24 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone. Here I am 25 (I think .. the first few days were a bit of a blur) days sober. I just got home from a 3/4 week stint in rehab. I feel amazing. I am sitting here amazing at how blue the sky is, about how beautiful the sound of the birds twittering is and enjoying a healthy lunch and a sparkling water with a slice of lime. A month ago I would have been oblivious to this beautiful world, I would have been nursing a head ache, feeling nautious and wolfing down junk food and alka seltzer and counting down the hours until I could open that first bottle.
I was one of those people who thought that rehab was "totally out of the question" for me... Financial problems; care of my children ; the stigma; I could do it on my own etc etc. But it was by far the best single decision I have ever made.
Peace and strength to you all.

Last edited by Fabat50; 12-02-2015 at 04:29 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old 12-02-2015, 05:03 AM
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Wow I had horrible drinking dreams last night. I actually dreamt I was coming off of a bender that began on thanksgiving, blackouts and all! So scary and so real. I was never so happy to wake up and realize it was a dream! Even woke up with a headache

Day 20 something. Thankful for my sobriety.

OH and I are not getting along. We discussed counseling but then last night before I went to bed, he said "no, forget it, you can go if you want but I'm not. I'm done." So I guess I got dumped??
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Old 12-02-2015, 05:25 AM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Thanks Ultradad and Goldensands. It scared me because I don't want to go back!

DO YOU GUYS STILL HAVE CRAVINGS? I feel like I'm the only one still having them.
Yes! I feel like I am back on day 4 and 5 lately and it's been a struggle for a couple of days. My legs ached last night like Day 5. I am irritable. I had drinking dreams and even woke up in what felt like one of my alcohol induced panic attacks last night. It was awful. I have pushed through but have had craving on top of craving for up to a couple of hours again. So I am kind of grouchy about this whole thing this morning. Blah.
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Old 12-02-2015, 05:32 AM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Thanks Ultradad and Goldensands. It scared me because I don't want to go back!

DO YOU GUYS STILL HAVE CRAVINGS? I feel like I'm the only one still having them.
So, yes... you are not alone. I still have massive cravings at times, but when I was sober for 14 months there was a time where the cravings completely went away, so I know there is hope...the problem now is getting enough sober time to allow that process to happen again. Recognizing our AV and thinking it all the way through helps, but sometimes I feel like I'm going to crawl out of my skin and that 'voice' tells me just one more time might be the magical drink that'll show me and the world that I'm, in fact, a normal drinker! So far, that voice has been proven a lair...
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Old 12-02-2015, 05:33 AM
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Good morning all. Enter day 11. So far, cravings are at a minimum, mainly triggered by going to the grocery store. It's almost like my autopilot kicks in and there is an unconscious pull to go to the wine display. My plan has been to get in and out asap, rushing through to pick up only the items I went for, sans the junk snacks that normally I would never be tempted by.

I have tried numerous ADs over the years, none of which agreed with me, the last (can't remember which) was my last, bad reaction like never before! Sam-E has worked for me in the past, I still have some and may try that again. Doesn't work to well while drinking.

Stay strong everyone and let's make the next 24 hours count!
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Old 12-02-2015, 05:47 AM
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Good WEDNESDAY morning!!!(12/2/15) :-) Welcome Beautifulpines to the class!

*****NOTE*****
There are 6 people who haven't checked in in over a week. I have sent out PMs but haven't heard from them. I hope they are ok! They have a (>) by their name below. Let me know if anyone hears from them. :-)

We are STRONGER TOGETHER!!!

*Canguy -24 days
*HealthyGoals -17 days
*Me (KiKi) -17 days
*Patricia -? days
*StrangeAngel- 5 days
*Pams -17 days
*GoldenSands -18 days
*CurlyGirl -27 days
*KeepNitreal -25 days
*BlackBirdFly -18 days
*Noolan -13 days
*SwimKim - 8 days
*MeShelly -18 days
*Thumbelina -33 days
*WalkTheLine-12 days
*Supertired -7 days
*Max74 -32 days
*DariaM -12 days
*ForeverFuzzy -13 days
>BadSneakers -23 days
*Jemma44 -24 days
*Blondsober -10 days
*Snowvelvet -28 days
*GoldCoastGirl -11 days
>Rivelino -11 days
*Badger257 -18 days
*Odelle -11 days
*Tufty13 -31 days
*TryinginTexas - 18 days
*Onetimeless -26 days
*Dallow - 10 days
*Learntofly -39 days
*Faithfulandfree - 4 day
*Tootsiesdad -24 days
*SoberMarathon -10 days
*Introspectator- 17 days
*RedAndy -18 days
>Jackie1214 -9 days
*Neverthought - ? days
*Rah555 -9 days
>Alphonse -15 days
*amitranjan04 -8 days
*ultradad -12 days
>SoulPower89 - ? days
>got2stopnow -10 days
*Fabat50 -25 days
*Enfinthechange -5 days
*SilentCinemaFan -5 days
*VanillaChaiTea -5 days
*Deniselarkin -5 days
*Augusta1893 -5 days
*Determined82 -5 Days
*Mish - ? days
*Missy7 -5 days
*Paul37 -4 days
*Tatersalad -5 days
*FacingFuture-? days
*IronPhoenix -? days
*Beautifulpines -not counting days :-)

*REMEMBER-all we REALLY have is TODAY...this 24 hours. It's not a race. There is no shame in starting over as long as we NEVER GIVE UP!!! There is no graduation; just a wonderful journey into the happiness and amazing life we all deserve...
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Old 12-02-2015, 05:52 AM
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Hello team!!!

I am going on a four day trip tomorrow but I am not worried, because the people I will be travelling with are not drinkers. Maybe they'll have a glass of wine at dinner, but I am certain I can say no to that (who wants ONE glass anyway? )

I still feel unfocused and a bit anxious. There's just so much confusion. Sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind, while in reality I am in the process of regaining it. Just have to get through each day, I guess.

Stay strong, everyone!
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Old 12-02-2015, 05:53 AM
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Originally Posted by paul37 View Post
Not a great sleep but I have made it to day four! I wish you all well.
Great job on 4 days Paul!!! Keep it up!

SwimKim, I had the same problem at 3 or 4 days & I think I just psyched myself out! It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Then I just gritted my teeth and did WHATEVER it took to get past those days. I think I laid in bed all day on day 3 praying over and over and over until I got thru it. It's hard but you'll make it this time!!! :-)
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Old 12-02-2015, 05:55 AM
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Originally Posted by enfinthechange View Post
Just for my fourpenneth worth, I get craving too all the time, the AV niggles away even when I wouldn't be drinking it plans it for me.... sometimes before I have had to sit in the toilet, bite my knuckles and deal with each second.... till it passed. It passes. It does. ..... The last time I forgot it passes it was like an axe to fall... shall I drink, go on then.... now.... boom. That was my last long sober time gone. This time I need to remember it [email protected] so far so good! Can't believe I'm going to my educational day out today with my students, to meet old friends.... and I'm not hungover. I actually barely know how to do this, to contain the energy and excitement I feel, usually dulled by hangoverness! !! I am like a baby kangaroo. .... Making a plan to write to my husband and explain my feelings and actions to him. ... I need to start something....am scared though, but sober! Love to u all.... and keep strong. .. And thank you.
You sound soooo good today enfin! Keep up the great work!
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Old 12-02-2015, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Mish View Post
Doctor's appointment tomorrow. This time last Friday I sat in front of her and admitted I was an alcoholic. Tomorrow I will sit in front of her with 5 days sobriety behind me.
You're doing great Mish! Good luck at your doctor!
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