Class of September 2015 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Thursday morning and day 12, seems like forever.
I think I'm strong and convicted at present but know that cravings can come suddenly, like some kind of alcohol-flash-flood. Thursday is a day that I frequently but not super often drank.
I'm still sleeping terribly. I get to sleep fine and quite early around 10-ish but without fail I'm jolted awake around 2:30. I then toss and turn, cursing the sleep gods, till I eventually get up at 6 feeling unrested and groggy. Basically the same as a mild hangover.
Got "complimented" that I'm losing weight, and I am. But my weight loss always starts at my face making me look older and emanciated. Then my chest loses weight and I look scrawny. Still shouldn't complain as not drinking is the goal and any aesthetic differences secondary.
Hope everyone can stay strong and overcome the lows.
I think I'm strong and convicted at present but know that cravings can come suddenly, like some kind of alcohol-flash-flood. Thursday is a day that I frequently but not super often drank.
I'm still sleeping terribly. I get to sleep fine and quite early around 10-ish but without fail I'm jolted awake around 2:30. I then toss and turn, cursing the sleep gods, till I eventually get up at 6 feeling unrested and groggy. Basically the same as a mild hangover.
Got "complimented" that I'm losing weight, and I am. But my weight loss always starts at my face making me look older and emanciated. Then my chest loses weight and I look scrawny. Still shouldn't complain as not drinking is the goal and any aesthetic differences secondary.
Hope everyone can stay strong and overcome the lows.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 
Hey Zen
I haven't seen you post since your relapse last night. How are you?
I haven't seen you post since your relapse last night. How are you?
It was a stupid decision to pick up that first drink and pour it down my throat, totally unnecessary, all we did was watch tv. There was no need to drink beers while I did it. Hopefully next time I make the right choice. And I'll be telling my young lover to not bring me beers home again, he can bring me chocolates and flowers instead lol
Hope everybody had a good sober day!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Originally Posted by Applekat
One of my favorite posts that pushed me to join SR was alphaomega's "is two bottles of wine a night a lot" - which really captured the anxiety that came along with drinking too much. The middle of the night jolt is what i do not miss AT ALL when being sober! 3 AM and my body would jolt awake, heart racing, cotton mouth....reach for water, start deep breathing and laying in the dark next to my peacefully sleeping-stop at two drinks-husband, just willing myself to not have a heart attack that very night. Making promises by 330 AM that I would NEVER do this again. Stumbling to the kitchen at 4 AM for a banana to try and boost myself a little.......
Google her post if you need a quick read to stave off a craving!!!
Google her post if you need a quick read to stave off a craving!!!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...night-lot.html
There's some awesome support and recovery going on here guys - I really recommend that anyone slipping or feeling vulnerable reach out before they drink and get the full benefit of being a member of this class
If you want change, make changes
D
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 397
Day 8. And I'm so irritable and angry. RABF, who is on Day 5, is pouty and rude. Throwing a pity party, and his birthday is tomorrow, so I can't be rude back!!! Biting my tongue, feeling ready to flip the f*** out. Just about done being nice to a crabass when I'm in a crabby mood as well. Ugh.
Not sleeping very well. Work is draining. Luckily I work four 10's, so tomorrow is my Friday.
Good friend's wedding on Saturday 2 hrs away. BF and I have rented a room. It's gonna be super challenging. These people are partiers. I have to go to her wedding. I know I won't drink. I was sober for several years before and went to functions and didn't drink.
But the sad thing is, I feel like I won't have fun. I know that's not true. I get mad at myself that I'm an alcoholic and can't drink.
Not sleeping very well. Work is draining. Luckily I work four 10's, so tomorrow is my Friday.
Good friend's wedding on Saturday 2 hrs away. BF and I have rented a room. It's gonna be super challenging. These people are partiers. I have to go to her wedding. I know I won't drink. I was sober for several years before and went to functions and didn't drink.
But the sad thing is, I feel like I won't have fun. I know that's not true. I get mad at myself that I'm an alcoholic and can't drink.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi everyone
Late afternoon here. Carpet cleaners are here....always a good thing after a couple of months of dogs and teenagers messing it up!
Daughter went to dads tonight so that's always hard. Used to be my opportunity to drink. Now its my opportunity to sit with my thoughts. I really need to make some friends but I'm just no good at relationships. I can fake it a bit but really it's so tough. Oh well. I have no problem with friendships with men but that is not what I need right now. Don't know what I need. I guess reading, dinner, some tv, sleep. I'll get past this restlessness after I eat, I know this. And I'll feel great tomorrow morning for yoga! I will wake with no regrets. But I won't lie, vodka calls to me at this time. I know I won't relapse...for me it's life or death, no denying that. It's just my little monster calling out. Soon I will start to make more plans for the evenings....just not ready yet. So home bound I am. Boy I'm really rambling. Just getting my thoughts out.
No relapse for me. Just not an option. Don't even want to. What's the point? Just sorta clueless right now. That's ok. I don't always have to know what I'm doing.....gonna try old fashioned rag curls in my hair tonight. That should be fun. I'm such a loser :/. What a stupid post. Sorry
Late afternoon here. Carpet cleaners are here....always a good thing after a couple of months of dogs and teenagers messing it up!
Daughter went to dads tonight so that's always hard. Used to be my opportunity to drink. Now its my opportunity to sit with my thoughts. I really need to make some friends but I'm just no good at relationships. I can fake it a bit but really it's so tough. Oh well. I have no problem with friendships with men but that is not what I need right now. Don't know what I need. I guess reading, dinner, some tv, sleep. I'll get past this restlessness after I eat, I know this. And I'll feel great tomorrow morning for yoga! I will wake with no regrets. But I won't lie, vodka calls to me at this time. I know I won't relapse...for me it's life or death, no denying that. It's just my little monster calling out. Soon I will start to make more plans for the evenings....just not ready yet. So home bound I am. Boy I'm really rambling. Just getting my thoughts out.
No relapse for me. Just not an option. Don't even want to. What's the point? Just sorta clueless right now. That's ok. I don't always have to know what I'm doing.....gonna try old fashioned rag curls in my hair tonight. That should be fun. I'm such a loser :/. What a stupid post. Sorry
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Frickaflip I hear ya on drinking whenever the kids go off to dad's house! I'm guilty of the same thing..... a chance to get good and drunk without little witnesses. Or I'd head out to the bar. I also hear you on needing to make new friends. Every single one of the people I hang out with I drink with. But I'm funny about making new friends, it has to happen organically, can't force these things.
Don't listen to the vodka calling you! It is not what you need.
Don't listen to the vodka calling you! It is not what you need.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: QLD
Posts: 173
Jemma, if you don't drink at the wedding, worst case scenario is what? You possibly have a boring night (you might actually be surpirsed and have a lovely night), leave early, go to bed sober and wake up feeling like you accomplished something, feeling proud of yourself for not giving in. Over with, next!
The alternative is you go, get drunk, have fun slurring your words and stumbling around the place looking like an idiot to anyone who isn't drinking, stay up late drinking, go to bed feeling the world spinning around you and like you're going to vomit. Waking in the night dying of thirst and feeling groggy as heck. Having a humongous hangover in the morning and looking like crap, and feeling totally defeated and ashamed that you gave in, that you let it win, and realizing once again, you are on day 1.
It's just not worth it. You need to keep telling yourself that.
It's not worth it!
The alternative is you go, get drunk, have fun slurring your words and stumbling around the place looking like an idiot to anyone who isn't drinking, stay up late drinking, go to bed feeling the world spinning around you and like you're going to vomit. Waking in the night dying of thirst and feeling groggy as heck. Having a humongous hangover in the morning and looking like crap, and feeling totally defeated and ashamed that you gave in, that you let it win, and realizing once again, you are on day 1.
It's just not worth it. You need to keep telling yourself that.
It's not worth it!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 397
Thanks Secretdrinker,
It is so not worth it. You exactly described the scenarios that occur when I drink. Except you forgot to mention the embarrassment and argument I'd probably have with my BF at 2:00 a.m.!
Looking forward to a sober reception for my friends, peace, love, and a night away from the kids in a lovely, old-timey hotel with a wonderful breakfast in the morning
It is so not worth it. You exactly described the scenarios that occur when I drink. Except you forgot to mention the embarrassment and argument I'd probably have with my BF at 2:00 a.m.!
Looking forward to a sober reception for my friends, peace, love, and a night away from the kids in a lovely, old-timey hotel with a wonderful breakfast in the morning
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Noone's a loser here - it's absolutely healthy to reach out
The more you withstand the urge, and make positive changes in your life, the easier it gets frick...really
jemma could you go to the service but leave the reception early - or not go at all?
D
The more you withstand the urge, and make positive changes in your life, the easier it gets frick...really
jemma could you go to the service but leave the reception early - or not go at all?
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: NH
Posts: 110
Hi everyone- I'd like to join September 2015 if I could. I was here a year ago and abstained for 6 months and then drank for the next 6. I simply cannot moderate. Drink after drink after drink without caring about a thing….kids, job, life….trying to make my third "day 1" stick this time around. I really believe it is a life or death decision, without being overly dramatic.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Finishing up Day 2. I had a really busy day today - from work to an appointment for my son to picking up other son to Back to School night to homework Truth is, there is no room for drinking in my life and certainly no room for being hungover and wasting a day. Now to just find a little time for exercise and yoga (me time!) Night all!
Truth is, there is no room for drinking in my life and certainly no room for being hungover and wasting a day. Now to just find a little time for exercise and yoga (me time!) Night all!
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