Class of September 2015 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,319
Yes, it does affect folks differently and I'm wondering if it is different each time. The first time i quit and remained sober for 6 months, I slept like a baby almost immediately. Now, no such luck! Guess another good reason to remain sober!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Friday morning and day 13, hopefully not unlucky.
See to have developed really bad sleeping habits where I suddenly wake at some ungodly hour and struggle to get back to sleep. Last night it was at 1:30. Now I'm up knackered again.
As the weekend draws near I am getting slightly stronger cravings. My av seems to know that I have no alcohol in the house and that at present my conviction is pretty strong and unwavering at present. So they are quickly put to bed and dismissed.
I did catch myself in a dangerous thought last night. I was brushing my teeth and looked at my thinning stomach and caught my mind saying "if you lose another 5kg you could possibly have a bottle of wine once a month or so".
Other that the above and despite poor sleeping I'm feeling fantastic. My mood is buoyant and I'm patient and energetic. There are all qualities which make me better at my job, as well as my life I suppose.
Due to the time differences there are a lot of posts to read when I wake up. I'll have a read later to see where everyone is.
See to have developed really bad sleeping habits where I suddenly wake at some ungodly hour and struggle to get back to sleep. Last night it was at 1:30. Now I'm up knackered again.
As the weekend draws near I am getting slightly stronger cravings. My av seems to know that I have no alcohol in the house and that at present my conviction is pretty strong and unwavering at present. So they are quickly put to bed and dismissed.
I did catch myself in a dangerous thought last night. I was brushing my teeth and looked at my thinning stomach and caught my mind saying "if you lose another 5kg you could possibly have a bottle of wine once a month or so".
Other that the above and despite poor sleeping I'm feeling fantastic. My mood is buoyant and I'm patient and energetic. There are all qualities which make me better at my job, as well as my life I suppose.
Due to the time differences there are a lot of posts to read when I wake up. I'll have a read later to see where everyone is.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Wow, so many posts! I have been at work all day. Work is very, very, very busy. But it's also good so no complaints there. I'm on Day 3. No cravings yet. I typically don't start having cravings until Day 5 or so. But I'm armed and better prepared this time.
One thing I have been working on: I often struggle with doubting my conviction to do this and say things like, "I hope this sobriety date sticks" or "I wonder if this will be the date that sticks." I also struggle with whether the date is "cool enough" or "feels right" in order to make it last. I have been reading a bit of my SMART Recovery book and here's some good advice on that (for me anyway!)
"Immediately, firmly refuse; don't even consider the possibility as a new choice. With this strategy, you have already made your decision not to use and decided it is your top priority. It is a lifetime decision, so on general principle you don't have to reason it out again. Whenever you get the idea to resume your addiction, you can without debate tell that idea to go to hell. "
So I tell myself I already made my decision; it was based on a lot of good reasons and sound logic. No need to keep having the same debate with myself over and over again!
More tomorrow
One thing I have been working on: I often struggle with doubting my conviction to do this and say things like, "I hope this sobriety date sticks" or "I wonder if this will be the date that sticks." I also struggle with whether the date is "cool enough" or "feels right" in order to make it last. I have been reading a bit of my SMART Recovery book and here's some good advice on that (for me anyway!)
"Immediately, firmly refuse; don't even consider the possibility as a new choice. With this strategy, you have already made your decision not to use and decided it is your top priority. It is a lifetime decision, so on general principle you don't have to reason it out again. Whenever you get the idea to resume your addiction, you can without debate tell that idea to go to hell. "
So I tell myself I already made my decision; it was based on a lot of good reasons and sound logic. No need to keep having the same debate with myself over and over again!
More tomorrow
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Welcome Hell66, Cleareyes and Startingover!
emme I hope you take a pass on going out for drinks, even if you intend to say no now it's going to be different when the drinks are staring back at you.
My bf brought beers home again. I haven't asked him not to yet because I haven't seen him, we work opposite schedules sometimes. I have declined them. Instead I overate so I'd feel really full and I've come on here to post about it. Drinking is doing me no favors. It adds nothing good to my life or to who I want to be. I'd rather wake up tomorrow feeling good, and achieve my goal of losing some weight, and not pollute my body and mind, and set a better example for my lovely children, and treat my pets better, take my dog for more walks, have a cleaner more organized home, put a higher value on myself.
emme I hope you take a pass on going out for drinks, even if you intend to say no now it's going to be different when the drinks are staring back at you.
My bf brought beers home again. I haven't asked him not to yet because I haven't seen him, we work opposite schedules sometimes. I have declined them. Instead I overate so I'd feel really full and I've come on here to post about it. Drinking is doing me no favors. It adds nothing good to my life or to who I want to be. I'd rather wake up tomorrow feeling good, and achieve my goal of losing some weight, and not pollute my body and mind, and set a better example for my lovely children, and treat my pets better, take my dog for more walks, have a cleaner more organized home, put a higher value on myself.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Juno and midton, I seriously thought I was the only one with sobriety date reasoning like that ! It's not always the date itself but if it's 30 or 60 days before some event (my birthday, or a vacation). I can't tell you how many times I would just keep drinking until the 1st of the month. Duh.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Good thinking zen. I feel the same. I will never make changes in my life if I keep drinking. I desperately want to lose weight and it's totally impossible for me to when I drink. I could in my 20s or early 30s, but drinking didn't take its toll on me back then like it does now.
Just today I found myself frustrated that I haven't drank in a week, been taking vitamins, exercising, and eating well... But I still feel fat. So I could feel the old "why bother?"coming on. Ridiculous! After all the crap I've put my body through and I expect a major change in a week?
Stick with it, stick with it.
Feels good to get all of this out instead
Of rattling around inside my head
Just today I found myself frustrated that I haven't drank in a week, been taking vitamins, exercising, and eating well... But I still feel fat. So I could feel the old "why bother?"coming on. Ridiculous! After all the crap I've put my body through and I expect a major change in a week?
Stick with it, stick with it.
Feels good to get all of this out instead
Of rattling around inside my head
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by Juno11 
Wow, so many posts! I have been at work all day. Work is very, very, very busy. But it's also good so no complaints there. I'm on Day 3. No cravings yet. I typically don't start having cravings until Day 5 or so. But I'm armed and better prepared this time.
One thing I have been working on: I often struggle with doubting my conviction to do this and say things like, "I hope this sobriety date sticks" or "I wonder if this will be the date that sticks." I also struggle with whether the date is "cool enough" or "feels right" in order to make it last. I have been reading a bit of my SMART Recovery book and here's some good advice on that (for me anyway!)
"Immediately, firmly refuse; don't even consider the possibility as a new choice. With this strategy, you have already made your decision not to use and decided it is your top priority. It is a lifetime decision, so on general principle you don't have to reason it out again. Whenever you get the idea to resume your addiction, you can without debate tell that idea to go to hell. "
So I tell myself I already made my decision; it was based on a lot of good reasons and sound logic. No need to keep having the same debate with myself over and over again!
More tomorrow
One thing I have been working on: I often struggle with doubting my conviction to do this and say things like, "I hope this sobriety date sticks" or "I wonder if this will be the date that sticks." I also struggle with whether the date is "cool enough" or "feels right" in order to make it last. I have been reading a bit of my SMART Recovery book and here's some good advice on that (for me anyway!)
"Immediately, firmly refuse; don't even consider the possibility as a new choice. With this strategy, you have already made your decision not to use and decided it is your top priority. It is a lifetime decision, so on general principle you don't have to reason it out again. Whenever you get the idea to resume your addiction, you can without debate tell that idea to go to hell. "
So I tell myself I already made my decision; it was based on a lot of good reasons and sound logic. No need to keep having the same debate with myself over and over again!
More tomorrow
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Originally Posted by forabetterlife
Juno and midton, I seriously thought I was the only one with sobriety date reasoning like that ! It's not always the date itself but if it's 30 or 60 days before some event (my birthday, or a vacation). I can't tell you how many times I would just keep drinking until the 1st of the month. Duh.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by zenchaser
Welcome Hell66, Cleareyes and Startingover!
emme I hope you take a pass on going out for drinks, even if you intend to say no now it's going to be different when the drinks are staring back at you.
My bf brought beers home again. I haven't asked him not to yet because I haven't seen him, we work opposite schedules sometimes. I have declined them. Instead I overate so I'd feel really full and I've come on here to post about it. Drinking is doing me no favors. It adds nothing good to my life or to who I want to be. I'd rather wake up tomorrow feeling good, and achieve my goal of losing some weight, and not pollute my body and mind, and set a better example for my lovely children, and treat my pets better, take my dog for more walks, have a cleaner more organized home, put a higher value on myself.
emme I hope you take a pass on going out for drinks, even if you intend to say no now it's going to be different when the drinks are staring back at you.
My bf brought beers home again. I haven't asked him not to yet because I haven't seen him, we work opposite schedules sometimes. I have declined them. Instead I overate so I'd feel really full and I've come on here to post about it. Drinking is doing me no favors. It adds nothing good to my life or to who I want to be. I'd rather wake up tomorrow feeling good, and achieve my goal of losing some weight, and not pollute my body and mind, and set a better example for my lovely children, and treat my pets better, take my dog for more walks, have a cleaner more organized home, put a higher value on myself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233
Are you going to talk to him tonight?
Yes. Although it doesn't matter if he brings them home. The responsibility of whether or not I drink has nothing to do with anyone but me.
Welcome salthillgirl! Good to have you with us
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233
I have an acquaintance in recovery who is a bit OCD. She struggles with certain dates and numbers so she cannot count days or focus on dates. Interesting....I don't count most of the time either. For me it keeps me focused on results and goals as opposed to the moment. I do know my date however and tally it up every so often
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: QLD
Posts: 173
Zen, that is some amazing willpower you have. I know I would struggle if there was alcohol in the house. I would immediately have to go pour it out!
I'm on day 5! Had a really good sleep last night which was lovely! My skin seems to be clearer today and my face less bloated.
The weekend is going to be the hardest because I know I'll get to day 7 and be like 'okay, I have gone a week without it, so I'll just have 1 bottle tonight and then do another week sober'....all the while knowing I was lying to myself, because once I have that first sip, it's all over for me, I'll drink for weeks after,none stop because I'll keep telling myself that I'm just getting it all out of my system, enjoying binge drinking, so then I can fully be ready to start day 1 again.
I'm on day 5! Had a really good sleep last night which was lovely! My skin seems to be clearer today and my face less bloated.
The weekend is going to be the hardest because I know I'll get to day 7 and be like 'okay, I have gone a week without it, so I'll just have 1 bottle tonight and then do another week sober'....all the while knowing I was lying to myself, because once I have that first sip, it's all over for me, I'll drink for weeks after,none stop because I'll keep telling myself that I'm just getting it all out of my system, enjoying binge drinking, so then I can fully be ready to start day 1 again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 551
Day 1 - again :(
So back to day one after a five day bender. Can't really remember most of it. But possibly drunk dialed a coworker. I know I called, but not much of what was said.
Feeling embarrassed and like a piece of crud now - physically and emotionally.
I have gotten really good at beating myself up...
Very thankful I found this website online
Feeling embarrassed and like a piece of crud now - physically and emotionally.
I have gotten really good at beating myself up...
Very thankful I found this website online
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 323
Less than an hour into Day 4 and I'm doing ok for now. We pay rent tomorrow so we'll be struggling to buy food, let alone booze so knowing it isn't an option is helping. Next week when Fiance gets paid and we go shopping, it's going to be really difficult, I know it is. I'm already feeling panicky and weak about it.
But, I have a coping strategy (or rather a stupid plan that might possibly work, maybe) and that's going to be making myself think about the liver pain and the shame and panic and guilt and anxiety that'll be waiting for me the next day. I'm also going to plan some sort of evening that does not involve any sort of drinking situation (avoiding the pub like the plague) to help make myself realise that I can have fun without booze.
But, I have a coping strategy (or rather a stupid plan that might possibly work, maybe) and that's going to be making myself think about the liver pain and the shame and panic and guilt and anxiety that'll be waiting for me the next day. I'm also going to plan some sort of evening that does not involve any sort of drinking situation (avoiding the pub like the plague) to help make myself realise that I can have fun without booze.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 168
Hi guys, can I join you all here? I'm on Day 17 in my sober journey. I recognize a couple of you from old classes, though you may not recognize me as I wasn't all that active. I made 2 serious attempts at sobriety last year, both lasted 2 months pretty much to the day. I am back again but feeling a bit precarious in my sobriety right now. I have been battling major cravings the past 4-5 days and it sucks. And the thing is, I feel SO good, my house is clean, my anxiety lessens every day, I have so much patience with my kids, I look better, etc. etc. But yet, from about 3-6pm all I can think about is wanting a glass of wine. No amount of reasoning/playing the tape/ignoring seems to be helping... Yesterday and today I tried urge surfing instead (thank you, Dee, for posting about it). Yesterday I was *this* close to going to buy a bottle and feel like I escaped by the skin of my teeth. Today I feel a little calmer and more in control. Just trying to keep chugging along, putting one foot in front of the other, and thought maybe posting here in this class might help as well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Originally Posted by CountryGal123
So back to day one after a five day bender. Can't really remember most of it. But possibly drunk dialed a coworker. I know I called, but not much of what was said.
Feeling embarrassed and like a piece of crud now - physically and emotionally.
I have gotten really good at beating myself up...
Very thankful I found this website online
Feeling embarrassed and like a piece of crud now - physically and emotionally.
I have gotten really good at beating myself up...
Very thankful I found this website online
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
