Class of September 2015 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 32
Quick one here on day #6. To everyone starting up on day #1 or #2 please be reassured that you will quickly find yourself on day 6 without too much stress if you keep busy and stay glued to the forum 
I couldn't imagine being here when I was in the depths of despair/shame/physically sick last Monday after my relapse but things DO quickly improve.
I'm looking forward to hitting one week tomorrow and, thereafter, hitting double figures. Despite this, I'm still trying hard to have a 'one day at a time' mentality. I know for a fact I won't drink today. I am lazing around watching TV and doing housework until 1.30pm then I'm working 2-10pm at the supermarket. Fortunately, it's the only supermarket in my village and 1. I wouldn't want to shame myself by buying alcohol there multiple times, now that I know all of the staff and 2. It closes at 10pm so no opportunities to buy anything after my shift
Hope everyone has a lovely, alcohol-free weekend x
I couldn't imagine being here when I was in the depths of despair/shame/physically sick last Monday after my relapse but things DO quickly improve.I'm looking forward to hitting one week tomorrow and, thereafter, hitting double figures. Despite this, I'm still trying hard to have a 'one day at a time' mentality. I know for a fact I won't drink today. I am lazing around watching TV and doing housework until 1.30pm then I'm working 2-10pm at the supermarket. Fortunately, it's the only supermarket in my village and 1. I wouldn't want to shame myself by buying alcohol there multiple times, now that I know all of the staff and 2. It closes at 10pm so no opportunities to buy anything after my shift
Hope everyone has a lovely, alcohol-free weekend x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Welcome hcm
Great job, Secretdrinker, you must feel great today beating that craving. I believe each one pushes us to the next level.
Frick-
I know, I know. I will block him. I got the crazies last night, up til 1130 obsessing about him. I woke up today wondering if I drank. That's what he does to me. Funny thing is, just having him in my life makes me go right to the bottle - but he doesn't drink at all, so it's not that. I spent years and years assuming that it all must be my fault because I have alcohol issues and he doesn't. He MUST have it all together since he doesn't drink. I finally see how warped that was and how I made things so hard for myself.
Anyway, frick, I also find myself obsessing per drinking more out of habit than because I really want to. Like it feels natural to be thinking of alcohol in some way- whether it's drinking, feeling a hangover, planning to drink, or trying not to.
Day 9 and I am feeling good and looking forward to my day with my stepmom, hoping to have my soul filled up by these spiritual speakers today. I swear, despite my old familiar thoughts and feelings over my ex last night, every day really does get better and better
Have a great sober day September friends !
Great job, Secretdrinker, you must feel great today beating that craving. I believe each one pushes us to the next level.
Frick-
I know, I know. I will block him. I got the crazies last night, up til 1130 obsessing about him. I woke up today wondering if I drank. That's what he does to me. Funny thing is, just having him in my life makes me go right to the bottle - but he doesn't drink at all, so it's not that. I spent years and years assuming that it all must be my fault because I have alcohol issues and he doesn't. He MUST have it all together since he doesn't drink. I finally see how warped that was and how I made things so hard for myself.
Anyway, frick, I also find myself obsessing per drinking more out of habit than because I really want to. Like it feels natural to be thinking of alcohol in some way- whether it's drinking, feeling a hangover, planning to drink, or trying not to.
Day 9 and I am feeling good and looking forward to my day with my stepmom, hoping to have my soul filled up by these spiritual speakers today. I swear, despite my old familiar thoughts and feelings over my ex last night, every day really does get better and better
Have a great sober day September friends !
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Hi everyone - hope all are enjoying a great Saturday. Day 5 for me today - that's when the cravings typically start gearing up again and this time I'm more ready!
I have a great, busy day on tap. First off, hot power yoga and get this body in shape after a week of not exercising. A little later I have a meditation session at a salt cave to help my allergies and mental health These are the "taking care of me things I need to do." After that, I have a big stack of bills and paperwork to take care of. Finally, a big grocery shopping run. In Maryland, thankfully, we have no wine in the grocery stores (although wine is readily available just about everywhere) but at least going into a grocery store doesn't ever trigger me. I'm excited about my day!
There was lot of talk about TV series and shows. My daughter has watched a lot of them - Breaking Bad, the Walking Dead, Supernatural, etc. My life is a lot busier than hers so I have committed to only a few series and here's what I follow:
1. Downton Abbey
2. The Bachelor/Bachelorette, etc.
3. Supernatural
4. The Affair
5. New Girl
Great stuff, I love TV. Have a good day everyone!
I have a great, busy day on tap. First off, hot power yoga and get this body in shape after a week of not exercising. A little later I have a meditation session at a salt cave to help my allergies and mental health
These are the "taking care of me things I need to do." After that, I have a big stack of bills and paperwork to take care of. Finally, a big grocery shopping run. In Maryland, thankfully, we have no wine in the grocery stores (although wine is readily available just about everywhere) but at least going into a grocery store doesn't ever trigger me. I'm excited about my day!There was lot of talk about TV series and shows. My daughter has watched a lot of them - Breaking Bad, the Walking Dead, Supernatural, etc. My life is a lot busier than hers so I have committed to only a few series and here's what I follow:
1. Downton Abbey
2. The Bachelor/Bachelorette, etc.
3. Supernatural
4. The Affair
5. New Girl
Great stuff, I love TV. Have a good day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
That's great SD. I'm so glad you didn't cave. I've been obsessing something awful the last few days and I just have to remember how horrible drinking always ends up being. And if nothing else, I look sooooo much better than I did 3 months ago. I don't want to give that up. Vain? Yes. But whatever works right now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by forabetterlife 
Welcome hcm
Great job, Secretdrinker, you must feel great today beating that craving. I believe each one pushes us to the next level.
Frick-
I know, I know. I will block him. I got the crazies last night, up til 1130 obsessing about him. I woke up today wondering if I drank. That's what he does to me. Funny thing is, just having him in my life makes me go right to the bottle - but he doesn't drink at all, so it's not that. I spent years and years assuming that it all must be my fault because I have alcohol issues and he doesn't. He MUST have it all together since he doesn't drink. I finally see how warped that was and how I made things so hard for myself.
Anyway, frick, I also find myself obsessing per drinking more out of habit than because I really want to. Like it feels natural to be thinking of alcohol in some way- whether it's drinking, feeling a hangover, planning to drink, or trying not to.
Day 9 and I am feeling good and looking forward to my day with my stepmom, hoping to have my soul filled up by these spiritual speakers today. I swear, despite my old familiar thoughts and feelings over my ex last night, every day really does get better and better
Have a great sober day September friends !
Great job, Secretdrinker, you must feel great today beating that craving. I believe each one pushes us to the next level.
Frick-
I know, I know. I will block him. I got the crazies last night, up til 1130 obsessing about him. I woke up today wondering if I drank. That's what he does to me. Funny thing is, just having him in my life makes me go right to the bottle - but he doesn't drink at all, so it's not that. I spent years and years assuming that it all must be my fault because I have alcohol issues and he doesn't. He MUST have it all together since he doesn't drink. I finally see how warped that was and how I made things so hard for myself.
Anyway, frick, I also find myself obsessing per drinking more out of habit than because I really want to. Like it feels natural to be thinking of alcohol in some way- whether it's drinking, feeling a hangover, planning to drink, or trying not to.
Day 9 and I am feeling good and looking forward to my day with my stepmom, hoping to have my soul filled up by these spiritual speakers today. I swear, despite my old familiar thoughts and feelings over my ex last night, every day really does get better and better
Have a great sober day September friends !
My ex doesn't really drink either...a beer here and there. I have very much likened my obsession with him to my obsession with alcohol. I actually think I just switched addictions and became addicted to him. He made me feel better, filled the void, soothed me for a while. But he stopped working. He then made me feel small, bad about myself, ashamed, guilty, not good enough...but I kept going back. My needs were not important, his needs were all that mattered. Take and Take. When I 'broke up' with him, it was really hard, then I started to feel great. Then I kind of went back and forth between knowing it was best, but craving him. I wanted to control him vs him always controlling me...but that would never work. He only has one mode and that's 'fill my needs'. He isn't a bad man, he is just wrong for me. I'm codependent and also am told I have empathic personality traits. He just swallowed me whole. I I took it all on, as if everything were my fault and I was wrong/bad. Yikes. Run for the hillls.
You sound like you're doing well. Have a great day with your SMom.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Back from my shopping trip. So many triggers: shopping, the train journey back, the wine section right next to the cheese, the small wine bar near the department store where I would kill time while my wife shopped. Didn't feel tempted but did have cravings.
Home now and feeling restless. I expect I'll feel better tomorrow.
I should mention that on the train journey there I felt euphoric. I'd never taken this train before without a hangover. I sat there enjoying the scenery, feeling really comfortable in my own skin. Man , if I could bottle that.
Home now and feeling restless. I expect I'll feel better tomorrow.
I should mention that on the train journey there I felt euphoric. I'd never taken this train before without a hangover. I sat there enjoying the scenery, feeling really comfortable in my own skin. Man , if I could bottle that.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Saturday Morning, 6:30am...first cuppa joe down. Soooo infinitely glad to be sober this morning...except I woke with a pounding headache. Quite sure it was all the sugar I had last night. I think, like booze, if a person never consumes sugar..then eats a bunch, it causes hangover type symptoms. Although I rarely got headaches with hangovers. Well, it is dissipating.
I know each time I successfully ride out cravings/obsessions, I weaken that response/thinking in my brain. I can't really wrap my head around the concept of an AV....although I 'get' it. I think there's science for this kind of thinking. Addiction activates the limbic system, or pleasure center (where healthy life sustaining activities are controlled) and our frontal lobe, or higher thinker, knows that substances aren't really healthy or lifesustaining so there's a struggle. But I think when these healthy/lifesustaining activities become unhealthy (over eating, interacting with 'bad' people) a similar struggle ensues. Who hasn't had the "God I shouldn't have that piece of chocolate cake' debate? Really, I think its the same thing. I don't think its a separate being from me, its just my less rational, primal being. So I have to give that primal side something to chew on, it just has to be healthy. I don't know. Its all sematics I guess or perspective. Doesn't really matter. I do know that alcohol can't make me drink it. In a bottle it is an inert liquid. Like bleach. Bleach can't kill me unless I drink it. Ack. More mental gymnastics.
Off to hot yoga at 9. Picking the daughter up at 12:30. She'll be with me until Wed night so that should keep me from obsessing about booze. I hope everyone has a sober and satisfying Saturday!
I know each time I successfully ride out cravings/obsessions, I weaken that response/thinking in my brain. I can't really wrap my head around the concept of an AV....although I 'get' it. I think there's science for this kind of thinking. Addiction activates the limbic system, or pleasure center (where healthy life sustaining activities are controlled) and our frontal lobe, or higher thinker, knows that substances aren't really healthy or lifesustaining so there's a struggle. But I think when these healthy/lifesustaining activities become unhealthy (over eating, interacting with 'bad' people) a similar struggle ensues. Who hasn't had the "God I shouldn't have that piece of chocolate cake' debate? Really, I think its the same thing. I don't think its a separate being from me, its just my less rational, primal being. So I have to give that primal side something to chew on, it just has to be healthy. I don't know. Its all sematics I guess or perspective. Doesn't really matter. I do know that alcohol can't make me drink it. In a bottle it is an inert liquid. Like bleach. Bleach can't kill me unless I drink it. Ack. More mental gymnastics.
Off to hot yoga at 9. Picking the daughter up at 12:30. She'll be with me until Wed night so that should keep me from obsessing about booze. I hope everyone has a sober and satisfying Saturday!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 126
Morning on Day 2.
Good job SD, and welcome to HCE.
I'm trying to start to put the house back together after letting it fall to pieces over the course of the week. So should stay busy. Withdrawal sweats have kicked in so that isn't fun, but other wise hasn't been too bad so far, was even able to sleep.
In any event, not too worried about making it through today. Next Saturday is going to be my first big test because it will be around day 10 and I'll feel normalish again by then.
Hope everyone does well today and post or find a meeting of you need support.
Good job SD, and welcome to HCE.
I'm trying to start to put the house back together after letting it fall to pieces over the course of the week. So should stay busy. Withdrawal sweats have kicked in so that isn't fun, but other wise hasn't been too bad so far, was even able to sleep.
In any event, not too worried about making it through today. Next Saturday is going to be my first big test because it will be around day 10 and I'll feel normalish again by then.
Hope everyone does well today and post or find a meeting of you need support.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 168
Way to go secretdrinker!
Frick, the "alcoholic shuffle" made me laugh. Exactly what I was doing for several days here recently - should I, should I not, I could, I really shouldn't.. Ugh, my brain was exhausted from all those thoughts bouncing around in there. Thankfully yesterday was a quiet day, I had a vague feeling of wanting to drink, but it was pretty easy to ignore it and go on about my day.
Regarding TV, I don't really watch any series. I really only watch college football (American) with my husband, some NFL games, and occasionally will watch Dancing With the Stars or Jeopardy, that's pretty much it. I prefer reading but have slacked off big time in that regard. Drinking gives me the attention span of a gnat so I am just now starting to get back into it. I have a long list of books I'd love read now that I'm feeling a little more focused.
Be well today, everyone!
Frick, the "alcoholic shuffle" made me laugh. Exactly what I was doing for several days here recently - should I, should I not, I could, I really shouldn't.. Ugh, my brain was exhausted from all those thoughts bouncing around in there. Thankfully yesterday was a quiet day, I had a vague feeling of wanting to drink, but it was pretty easy to ignore it and go on about my day.
Regarding TV, I don't really watch any series. I really only watch college football (American) with my husband, some NFL games, and occasionally will watch Dancing With the Stars or Jeopardy, that's pretty much it. I prefer reading but have slacked off big time in that regard. Drinking gives me the attention span of a gnat so I am just now starting to get back into it. I have a long list of books I'd love read now that I'm feeling a little more focused.
Be well today, everyone!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: NH
Posts: 110
FF- I had a headache for 3 weeks a year ago while getting sober…Advil helped but I just saw it as something to be expected and dealt with. I figure it took me years to get in the condition I find myself in and it will take months to extricate out of it.
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