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Class of September 2015 Part 2

Old 09-16-2015, 05:06 AM
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Good morning everyone. I had a bit of a better sleep last night. My oldest kitty snuggled close to my side all night, which is one of my favorite things. He was so sweet. I have a long day of school today and my weekly AA meeting tonight. Hopefully I'll fall into bed exhausted once again.
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Old 09-16-2015, 05:15 AM
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Another day under my belt. Last night was odd. I was sitting in my lounger, reading Rational Recovery, about an hour later than I would have normally started drinking. Without warning, I had the same relaxed feeling as I used to after my first drink. But I was drinking flavored water. My first thought was, hey, I really can be happy without alcohol. And I maintained that frame of mind all night. Too cool. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and struggles are minimal. Namaste!
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Old 09-16-2015, 05:22 AM
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Originally Posted by CaliButterfly View Post
Another day under my belt. Last night was odd. I was sitting in my lounger, reading Rational Recovery, about an hour later than I would have normally started drinking. Without warning, I had the same relaxed feeling as I used to after my first drink. But I was drinking flavored water. My first thought was, hey, I really can be happy without alcohol. And I maintained that frame of mind all night. Too cool. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and struggles are minimal. Namaste!
Yes, I have had that feeling too. It's awesome, isn't it?
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Old 09-16-2015, 06:18 AM
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Day 1 again..no real reason to drink last night but the beer was there. It called me for a while and I justified it somehow
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Old 09-16-2015, 06:31 AM
  # 185 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by halfvictory View Post
Day 1 again..no real reason to drink last night but the beer was there. It called me for a while and I justified it somehow
Have you considered clearing all alcohol out of your home so the temptation isn't there? It's so much easier when it's accessible....
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Old 09-16-2015, 07:00 AM
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Good morning everyone. Zen and Victory, you are in my thoughts today. JL, I hope you feel better. Sinusitis is no joke.

Last night was challenging, but I made it through the first week. Wishing everyone a wonderful day.
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Old 09-16-2015, 07:04 AM
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Hang in there everyone! Remember...

1 glass means 10
0 is 0

We are pickles!! Can't change back into a cucumber.

You'll never regret NOT drinking.
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Old 09-16-2015, 07:14 AM
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AppleKat, makes me want to sing to the tune of the Dr. Pepper song, "I'm a pickle, you're a pickle..." Except no one would want to be a pickle too if they could help it. But we are where we are.

Rah, keep meaning to tell you that your dog is adorable!
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Old 09-16-2015, 07:21 AM
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I actually have a green glass pickle Christmas ornament. I will hang it this year with amusement and appreciation.
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Old 09-16-2015, 07:26 AM
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Day 2 here and already feeling anxious. I want to do this. I really need to do this for my health, my purse and my life. I'd like to be a happier person with more friends who goes out and does fun things rather than just sitting around getting drunk all night and then feeling like crap the next day. I've had enough.
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Old 09-16-2015, 07:46 AM
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hang in there, scared. Alcohol really exacerbates anxiety, so while it feels like it helps short term, it really makes things worse longterm. If you find that you struggle with anxiety, you might want to talk to your doctor. I think a lot of us self-medicate with alcohol for this reason.
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Old 09-16-2015, 08:52 AM
  # 192 (permalink)  
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I know I absolutely self-medicated for anxiety, as well as depression. Ironically, it made it worse but I continued to drink anyway. I agree with Matilda in that you should talk to your doctor if you haven't already.
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Old 09-16-2015, 09:43 AM
  # 193 (permalink)  
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One of my favorite posts that pushed me to join SR was alphaomega's "is two bottles of wine a night a lot" - which really captured the anxiety that came along with drinking too much. The middle of the night jolt is what i do not miss AT ALL when being sober! 3 AM and my body would jolt awake, heart racing, cotton mouth....reach for water, start deep breathing and laying in the dark next to my peacefully sleeping-stop at two drinks-husband, just willing myself to not have a heart attack that very night. Making promises by 330 AM that I would NEVER do this again. Stumbling to the kitchen at 4 AM for a banana to try and boost myself a little.......

Google her post if you need a quick read to stave off a craving!!!
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Old 09-16-2015, 09:53 AM
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Oh applekat, I do not miss that at all! Passing out, not sleeping, til 3am and then just laying there unable to fall back to sleep, heart racing, feeling terrible.

With all my backs and forth, I notice a pattern right about now at one week. Unfortunately a little complacency hits and I forget the awfulness of it all of course. But also, the first few days sober I start looking so much better- clear bright eyes and normal face coloring. But today is 6 days and this always happens at this point-- I wake up with "tired eyes", glassy and a little irritated and red, despite sleeping great. Also, my face is flushed, like I've been drinking. My kooky mind can flip this around as another excuse to drink and I'm sure it has before -- I look like I'm drinking anyway, so why not!! Not this time, I'm sure it will pass and I will come out looking even better, I just need to give it a darn chance !!
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Old 09-16-2015, 10:30 AM
  # 195 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by matilda123 View Post
hang in there, scared. Alcohol really exacerbates anxiety, so while it feels like it helps short term, it really makes things worse longterm. If you find that you struggle with anxiety, you might want to talk to your doctor. I think a lot of us self-medicate with alcohol for this reason.
Yes, Matilda. I'm a self medicator and you're right in that it helps in the short term. However, when the alcohol wears off, the anxiety is back, so more alcohol is needed. When I stopped drinking 10 days ago, the anxiety was even worse. BUT after several days, I'm finding that the anxiety is getting better and better. I'm even optimistic that it may someday go away entirely.
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Old 09-16-2015, 10:34 AM
  # 196 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by forabetterlife View Post
Oh applekat, I do not miss that at all! Passing out, not sleeping, til 3am and then just laying there unable to fall back to sleep, heart racing, feeling terrible.

With all my backs and forth, I notice a pattern right about now at one week. Unfortunately a little complacency hits and I forget the awfulness of it all of course. But also, the first few days sober I start looking so much better- clear bright eyes and normal face coloring. But today is 6 days and this always happens at this point-- I wake up with "tired eyes", glassy and a little irritated and red, despite sleeping great. Also, my face is flushed, like I've been drinking. My kooky mind can flip this around as another excuse to drink and I'm sure it has before -- I look like I'm drinking anyway, so why not!! Not this time, I'm sure it will pass and I will come out looking even better, I just need to give it a darn chance !!
Don't do it Forabetterlife. Today is only one day. Even non alcoholics have days where they look and feel like heck. Everybody has those days, not just us. You have committed to not drinking today. Stick it out. We're here for you.
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Old 09-16-2015, 10:47 AM
  # 197 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by emme99 View Post
Hi everyone, Tuesday is almost over and I made it through day 2.

I called in sick to work. I need to stop doing that. I am not sick it just seems like work is too much to handle sometimes. And then I get extra anxiety from calling in sick and wish I would have just gone in.

I have lots of stuff I should have done around the house since I was home but didn't do anything, other than play on the computer and hang out with my fur kids.

I haven't been sleeping well so I think I will go to bed early and hopefully make tomorrow a good, productive day.

I hope everyone has a happy Wednesday
When I read your post, this reminded me of another post I read which really helped me. I wish I could remember it exactly, but it has to do with making a plan. Toward the end of my drinking, I was just sitting around the house, not getting much housework done, not cooking, not really enjoying hobbies, etc, Like you, that stuff was too much to handle for me. My inactivity was causing a lot of anxiety within me and the list of undone things got longer. After a few days of sobriety, (AS PART OF MY PLAN), I started doing the things that were on my mind - both things that needed doing and things I wanted to do. My anxiety lessened considerably and I feel so accomplished now. I would say I'm happy. I still have some undone things on my list today, which I hope to get to later. I just finished walking 11 holes of golf, so I'm resting. LOL.
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Old 09-16-2015, 11:15 AM
  # 198 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Rar View Post

Yes, Matilda. I'm a self medicator and you're right in that it helps in the short term. However, when the alcohol wears off, the anxiety is back, so more alcohol is needed. When I stopped drinking 10 days ago, the anxiety was even worse. BUT after several days, I'm finding that the anxiety is getting better and better. I'm even optimistic that it may someday go away entirely.
It will!! The more you love your body the more it will love you back!!!
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Old 09-16-2015, 01:02 PM
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Hi all, nice to read how everyone is getting on. Thank you all so much for sharing and to read the mutual respect and understanding going on in this thread and so many others

Day 3 is in the bag for me (9pm here). I was working from 6.30am and had to spend a large portion of it running stock from the spirits/wine room. As it happened my colleague helping me run the stock got to talking about what my favourite tipple is. I've only worked there a couple of weeks so I just said 'just wine occasionally but I try not to drink often'. He went on to tell me that he doesn't drink at all as is a recovering alcoholic. He is in his late twenties, too. I was a bit over-awed as I've just started dealing with my issues and I've never had that conversation with anyone. I didn't disclose anything about myself but I did say I can understand how much will power that must have taken to give up and commended him for it.

Roll on day 4 tomorrow. I plan to do some of my mentoring coursework during the day, tidy the house and then I have an AA meeting on the night time. I've managed to contact one of the ladies I met last time and organise a lift/there back as transport was an issue for me; I'm proud that I reached out and didn't just see that barrier as a get-out clause

Wishing you all lots of positivity x
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Old 09-16-2015, 01:38 PM
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Doing good here, no cravings, enjoying feeling comfortable and snuggly in the evenings and not out of it.

Today at work, someone was describing a task I had to do the next day and I realised I'd be sober tonight, thus capable tomorrow and I felt so pleased to be able to rely on myself!

Before I had no clue what state I would be in on any day of the week, work or no work, I felt like I was dragging a corpse around with me.

Now, day 10 and I feel so much lighter, optimistic, I keep noticing the sky and clouds too! Beauty really is everywhere...
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