Class of August 2014 Part 15
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Hey folks, hope you are all well.
1 step. Alcohol is a bitch. It's seeps through us, poisoning each part, twisting our thoughts and changing our very being. It takes over, controls us, brainwashes us. People succumb to these controls with much lesser things than alcohol my friend. Are you foolish? No, you are unwell. But you are not ruined, you are not done. We will do this 1 step. 5 days done. 6 today. Nearly a week already, you are doing so well, and I have such faith that you can keep going. I'm here for you, please keep going! Xxx
1 step. Alcohol is a bitch. It's seeps through us, poisoning each part, twisting our thoughts and changing our very being. It takes over, controls us, brainwashes us. People succumb to these controls with much lesser things than alcohol my friend. Are you foolish? No, you are unwell. But you are not ruined, you are not done. We will do this 1 step. 5 days done. 6 today. Nearly a week already, you are doing so well, and I have such faith that you can keep going. I'm here for you, please keep going! Xxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Scooter thanks for the recipe! I'm making a banana flapjack loaf this morning 😊
Rah you're doing fantastically! Well done 😊
Cute that's awesome about your meeting, keep at it! Work may be hectic, but it's keeping you busy, making you money and giving you meaning and routine, stick at it!
London is it cold your way? I have ice inside my bathroom window!
Thanks for the support regarding my dementia post, it's an area close to my heart xx
My toothache started again out of nowhere last night, so I'm guessing it's infected again. Jeez do I have one thing after another! I will not be beaten!!! I'm spending today studying, so will be keeping an eye on the thread as on the computer most of the day.
Today I am grateful for
Coffee
BBC I player , catching up on silent Witness!
Post it notes, they are everywhere but a helping keep track of my study references!
Lost 2.5lbs at fat club last night, that's 11.5lb total since Jan 5th. Hurrah! Only another 5 stone to go Lol!
Antibiotics
Sr and the endless support 24 hours a day. Thank you all so much.
Chickpea dhal loaf. slight addiction this end!
Hot water bottles and fluffy socks.
Stay strong. Head up. Fingers up at the Av today , you got this. You all got this.
Much love
Bug hugs xxxx
Rah you're doing fantastically! Well done 😊
Cute that's awesome about your meeting, keep at it! Work may be hectic, but it's keeping you busy, making you money and giving you meaning and routine, stick at it!
London is it cold your way? I have ice inside my bathroom window!
Thanks for the support regarding my dementia post, it's an area close to my heart xx
My toothache started again out of nowhere last night, so I'm guessing it's infected again. Jeez do I have one thing after another! I will not be beaten!!! I'm spending today studying, so will be keeping an eye on the thread as on the computer most of the day.
Today I am grateful for
Coffee
BBC I player , catching up on silent Witness!
Post it notes, they are everywhere but a helping keep track of my study references!
Lost 2.5lbs at fat club last night, that's 11.5lb total since Jan 5th. Hurrah! Only another 5 stone to go Lol!
Antibiotics
Sr and the endless support 24 hours a day. Thank you all so much.
Chickpea dhal loaf. slight addiction this end!
Hot water bottles and fluffy socks.
Stay strong. Head up. Fingers up at the Av today , you got this. You all got this.
Much love
Bug hugs xxxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Good morning everyone!
Hey Pink - it's cold but there's cloud cover so it's not as bad as last night! Hoping your recovery is going well and you are on the mend! Did you choose any holidays yet? Also, I have not forgotten about the colour run, so I will take a look tonight. Don't let that tooth get to you!!
1step - you have this! Keep doing the AA stuff and reaching out there and on here. And be kind to yourself. Baby steps.
Rah - glad to see you are doing good.
Cute - great to see you getting something from your meeting. I like the gay one I go to too. I came to the conclusion it doesn't matter whose number I get - male or female - as long as we can keep each other sober! Wishing you a good day.
Scooter - your recipes sound great! I must do some more home baking stuff.
Choobie - get well soon and get the sleep you need
Ultra - good luck on the West Coast!
Determined - keep the quotes coming! I usually pick them up and lunchtime UK which is a great midday boost :-)
It's great to see lots of check ins.
Today is 6 months for me. Wow. I am so grateful and the change in my life in this time is huge. Thank you team A!
Going to have a normal work day today and some quiet time tonight and I will celebrate on the weekend by doing something for me.
And, I wanted to say to you all six months feels easier than three when I was all anxious and wanted a drink 'reward' The thought of doing that seems pretty alien now. We can do it !!
Hey Pink - it's cold but there's cloud cover so it's not as bad as last night! Hoping your recovery is going well and you are on the mend! Did you choose any holidays yet? Also, I have not forgotten about the colour run, so I will take a look tonight. Don't let that tooth get to you!!
1step - you have this! Keep doing the AA stuff and reaching out there and on here. And be kind to yourself. Baby steps.
Rah - glad to see you are doing good.
Cute - great to see you getting something from your meeting. I like the gay one I go to too. I came to the conclusion it doesn't matter whose number I get - male or female - as long as we can keep each other sober! Wishing you a good day.
Scooter - your recipes sound great! I must do some more home baking stuff.
Choobie - get well soon and get the sleep you need
Ultra - good luck on the West Coast!
Determined - keep the quotes coming! I usually pick them up and lunchtime UK which is a great midday boost :-)
It's great to see lots of check ins.
Today is 6 months for me. Wow. I am so grateful and the change in my life in this time is huge. Thank you team A!
Going to have a normal work day today and some quiet time tonight and I will celebrate on the weekend by doing something for me.
And, I wanted to say to you all six months feels easier than three when I was all anxious and wanted a drink 'reward' The thought of doing that seems pretty alien now. We can do it !!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Wiggle Wednesday!
1step, you can do this man. Try pushing back hard. Get angry at alcohol, pink nailed it - fingers up at the AV!
London, 6 months is freakin stellar dude! Truly born again, proof this can be done. The prison door can be pried open.
Two today, one is mine;
"I did not break free of this thing until I got angry enough to chew off the noose I was hanging from" Determined.
And one for us all lest we forget;
"If you don't deal with your demons, they will deal with you. And it's gonna hurt." Nikki Sixx
Revolution.
1step, you can do this man. Try pushing back hard. Get angry at alcohol, pink nailed it - fingers up at the AV!
London, 6 months is freakin stellar dude! Truly born again, proof this can be done. The prison door can be pried open.
Two today, one is mine;
"I did not break free of this thing until I got angry enough to chew off the noose I was hanging from" Determined.
And one for us all lest we forget;
"If you don't deal with your demons, they will deal with you. And it's gonna hurt." Nikki Sixx
Revolution.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Good morning on day 20!!! I'm at work... the last stretch of my graveyard shift. I will be staying close to SR on Thurs and Fri. My only two trouble days (when I have idle hands) lately. I must say kudos to all who stayed the course. 6 months... how inspiring! I can only hope that as you all chime in with your 1 year anniversaries I can be at 6 months.
We are to get more snow Starting any minute. ACK.
Ok talk to you soon
We are to get more snow Starting any minute. ACK.
Ok talk to you soon
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Great Job London! And good point on 3 vs 6 months.
I'm definitely in the "maintenance" phase (though taking nothing for granted). I won a pretty big award at work last night. There was an open (very open!) bar, servers passing drink trays, private cocktails with the Senior Management, ect.
I was gracious, made an appearance, then left early since I was exhausted from traveling all day. Anyway, absolutely no temptation.
Still on East Coast time since I woke up at 4am. No worries. I'm blessed.
I'm definitely in the "maintenance" phase (though taking nothing for granted). I won a pretty big award at work last night. There was an open (very open!) bar, servers passing drink trays, private cocktails with the Senior Management, ect.
I was gracious, made an appearance, then left early since I was exhausted from traveling all day. Anyway, absolutely no temptation.
Still on East Coast time since I woke up at 4am. No worries. I'm blessed.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
P.S. My wife arranged for us to foster a rescue lab since our present two dogs both turned back at mile one of a trail run.
Something tells me we're going to end up keeping this dog even if she's not a runner either!
If not we will give if a loving environment until her permanent home surfaces.
Something tells me we're going to end up keeping this dog even if she's not a runner either!
If not we will give if a loving environment until her permanent home surfaces.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Congratulations on 6months London! Inspiring to me ,this can be done.
Thanks for the encouragement everyone- your support means a lot to me, Im still sober on day 6, had a rehab type 12 step recovery workshop type thing this morning, it was my 2nd session and it went well, keeping it in the day and relapse trigger awareness were the themes and I got a lot out of it, went from there to an AA meeting then met my sponsor for a coffee so a day full of recovery- just what I need right now!
Thanks for the encouragement everyone- your support means a lot to me, Im still sober on day 6, had a rehab type 12 step recovery workshop type thing this morning, it was my 2nd session and it went well, keeping it in the day and relapse trigger awareness were the themes and I got a lot out of it, went from there to an AA meeting then met my sponsor for a coffee so a day full of recovery- just what I need right now!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 127
Hi Everyone,
I've been away from the forum for quite a while. Things have not been going so well. I have been binge drinking on a regular basis, and getting myself into a number of difficult situations. I have been struggling with the death of my brother for a couple of years now, and sometimes after a few drinks, a very bad, angry person appears.
Last night I was arrested for being drunk and disorderly in town, and thrown in a cell with a couple of very serious criminals. I was left in there for a few hours, and finally let out once my wife sent a copy of my ******** to the officer in charge. My two year old was sleeping in her bed at this point. I will probably receive a fine in excess of 500 euros because of my poor behavior.
Im just a huge **** up. I cant help myself. I tried to quit many times, but always get a couple of weeks sober and then think I don't have a problem and get back on the alcohol again. I feel incredibly ashamed of my behavior. I send abusive emails to my father who I haven't spoken to in the years since my brother died. Not a long time ago I was wasted and ended up taking quite a serious beating which almost resulted in loss of sight in my left eye.
And then sometimes I just get home and literally break down crying. I feel like crying now. In some ways I have it all; a lovely wife, and beautiful baby girl, and very good job.. two cats... a garden. And yet I have nothing. I dont want to look in the mirror. I feel ashamed of myself in front of my wife. I feel destined to lose. I dont know what to do anymore
I've been away from the forum for quite a while. Things have not been going so well. I have been binge drinking on a regular basis, and getting myself into a number of difficult situations. I have been struggling with the death of my brother for a couple of years now, and sometimes after a few drinks, a very bad, angry person appears.
Last night I was arrested for being drunk and disorderly in town, and thrown in a cell with a couple of very serious criminals. I was left in there for a few hours, and finally let out once my wife sent a copy of my ******** to the officer in charge. My two year old was sleeping in her bed at this point. I will probably receive a fine in excess of 500 euros because of my poor behavior.
Im just a huge **** up. I cant help myself. I tried to quit many times, but always get a couple of weeks sober and then think I don't have a problem and get back on the alcohol again. I feel incredibly ashamed of my behavior. I send abusive emails to my father who I haven't spoken to in the years since my brother died. Not a long time ago I was wasted and ended up taking quite a serious beating which almost resulted in loss of sight in my left eye.
And then sometimes I just get home and literally break down crying. I feel like crying now. In some ways I have it all; a lovely wife, and beautiful baby girl, and very good job.. two cats... a garden. And yet I have nothing. I dont want to look in the mirror. I feel ashamed of myself in front of my wife. I feel destined to lose. I dont know what to do anymore
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Sorry to hear you're suffering, and the loss of your brother ee, totally relate to your predicament, I feel 'well' after I get off it for a few weeks and think 'I'll be alright this time' but I never am, I black out and get into the same sort of stuff you've described, I truly believe that Im allergic to alcohol physically and obsessed with it mentally.
Hayfever sufferers are allergic to pollen but they don't have an obsession for going around sniffing flowers, unfortunately we seem to seek solace from pain in the very thing that causes us chaos and suffering, it truly is bizarre.
Im trying to take it day by day and when I get through a day I consider it a day won, early recovery is so hard but I have hope that I have a brighter future as long as I don't have that first drink, hope things come good for you friend.
Hayfever sufferers are allergic to pollen but they don't have an obsession for going around sniffing flowers, unfortunately we seem to seek solace from pain in the very thing that causes us chaos and suffering, it truly is bizarre.
Im trying to take it day by day and when I get through a day I consider it a day won, early recovery is so hard but I have hope that I have a brighter future as long as I don't have that first drink, hope things come good for you friend.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Originally Posted by pinklinzangel 
Hey folks, hope you are all well.
1 step. Alcohol is a bitch. It's seeps through us, poisoning each part, twisting our thoughts and changing our very being. It takes over, controls us, brainwashes us. People succumb to these controls with much lesser things than alcohol my friend. Are you foolish? No, you are unwell. But you are not ruined, you are not done. We will do this 1 step. 5 days done. 6 today. Nearly a week already, you are doing so well, and I have such faith that you can keep going. I'm here for you, please keep going! Xxx
1 step. Alcohol is a bitch. It's seeps through us, poisoning each part, twisting our thoughts and changing our very being. It takes over, controls us, brainwashes us. People succumb to these controls with much lesser things than alcohol my friend. Are you foolish? No, you are unwell. But you are not ruined, you are not done. We will do this 1 step. 5 days done. 6 today. Nearly a week already, you are doing so well, and I have such faith that you can keep going. I'm here for you, please keep going! Xxx
Things are bad for you. ........I'm so glad you posted today and didn't leave it, it may have been even worse.
You may seem to have everything, but that doesn't make the way you feel inside any less important, you deserve to not feel miserable everyday, and I wonder if you might consider talking to your doc, you seem very low and vulnerable, maybe get some antidepressants just to help you ride through until it's a little easier? They may help.
You took control today by posting. You know what you want to do. We are here to support you every day. Every single day. We need you too! Big hugs to you my friend xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 127
Originally Posted by pinklinzangel
Ee, this applies to you too 😊 welcome back. It's so very hard, and you've done a brave thing by posting today.
Things are bad for you. ........I'm so glad you posted today and didn't leave it, it may have been even worse.
You may seem to have everything, but that doesn't make the way you feel inside any less important, you deserve to not feel miserable everyday, and I wonder if you might consider talking to your doc, you seem very low and vulnerable, maybe get some antidepressants just to help you ride through until it's a little easier? They may help.
You took control today by posting. You know what you want to do. We are here to support you every day. Every single day. We need you too! Big hugs to you my friend xxx
Things are bad for you. ........I'm so glad you posted today and didn't leave it, it may have been even worse.
You may seem to have everything, but that doesn't make the way you feel inside any less important, you deserve to not feel miserable everyday, and I wonder if you might consider talking to your doc, you seem very low and vulnerable, maybe get some antidepressants just to help you ride through until it's a little easier? They may help.
You took control today by posting. You know what you want to do. We are here to support you every day. Every single day. We need you too! Big hugs to you my friend xxx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
You've have to use this scare to help you, let's hope this time it will be the right time to stop. Take baby steps. I was in denial about my drinking for years. In august I nearly died, and that was my trigger. Thank god I was able to stop before it took me, this is another wake up call, and you have taken the reigns and taken control today, I take my hat off to you sweety. Take it bit by bit. Do this not just for your family. Do it for you, it has to be for you xxx
We are here for you ee, keep posting, we got your back. The start is the hardest, get through today....do not drink today. Tomorrow, we will deal with that tomorrow and celebrate each day you pull through. I have total respect that you want this. hardest parts the first post.......well done.
So glad you got home safe after last night.
Today is a new set of cards. ..? Play your best hand 😊
Much love xx
We are here for you ee, keep posting, we got your back. The start is the hardest, get through today....do not drink today. Tomorrow, we will deal with that tomorrow and celebrate each day you pull through. I have total respect that you want this. hardest parts the first post.......well done.
So glad you got home safe after last night.
Today is a new set of cards. ..? Play your best hand 😊
Much love xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Pink - powerful posts! Your words are helping me so much today. I am sober but feeling a lot of guilt and shame for how I was at times in the last few years. Trying to stay in the moment.
1StepUp - You are doing great! I can relate to so much of your story. I also have a lot of emotional relationship triggers in my life right now with my ex. I just need to have a plan because i never know when it will get to me...like right now...so I am trying to stay close to SR and use my list of activities to make me feel better. It isn't easy but we aren't powerless either.
ee - great to hear from you, try not to beat yourself up. I'm also working on it! It does get better the longer we stay sober.
ultra - congrats on the job recognition and leaving that celebration early...isn't sober sleep wonderful?
choobie - been loving your grateful lists - you have inspired me to write one every day as part of my check-in. I used to do it back in August and it helped so much! Where can I get this grape stevia?
london - Congrats on 6 months! Top drawer my friend!!!
Today I am grateful for:
-my life
-a fresh start
-freedom
-hope
-a job that I love and that I am respected at
-Netflix
-my amazing children
-really, really good pizza
-loyal friends
1StepUp - You are doing great! I can relate to so much of your story. I also have a lot of emotional relationship triggers in my life right now with my ex. I just need to have a plan because i never know when it will get to me...like right now...so I am trying to stay close to SR and use my list of activities to make me feel better. It isn't easy but we aren't powerless either.
ee - great to hear from you, try not to beat yourself up. I'm also working on it! It does get better the longer we stay sober.
ultra - congrats on the job recognition and leaving that celebration early...isn't sober sleep wonderful?
choobie - been loving your grateful lists - you have inspired me to write one every day as part of my check-in. I used to do it back in August and it helped so much! Where can I get this grape stevia?
london - Congrats on 6 months! Top drawer my friend!!!
Today I am grateful for:
-my life
-a fresh start
-freedom
-hope
-a job that I love and that I am respected at
-Netflix
-my amazing children
-really, really good pizza
-loyal friends
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Hey 1step, so good to see you back posting again. You can do it mate. I hope the 12 step work is helping you. Keep it in the day my friend, I do every day.
EE, I'm glad to see you too. Sorry you are having a rough time. I relate to what you posted. Having lots of good things in your life and then struggling with the drink. Each incident gets scarier and it seems so hard the next day and the next day... Jump off that downward elevator now before it gets to the bottom. You can do this.
Ultra - many congrats on the work stuff!
Hey Grateful - keep on keeping on. I think it takes a while for the mind to rewire and learn to live and accept past stuff and behaviour.
EE, I'm glad to see you too. Sorry you are having a rough time. I relate to what you posted. Having lots of good things in your life and then struggling with the drink. Each incident gets scarier and it seems so hard the next day and the next day... Jump off that downward elevator now before it gets to the bottom. You can do this.
Ultra - many congrats on the work stuff!
Hey Grateful - keep on keeping on. I think it takes a while for the mind to rewire and learn to live and accept past stuff and behaviour.
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