Gilmer

Routines and lists really help me, too. I can get kind of frantic when I'm overscheduled, but a loose basic structure is very helpful. Seems like cleaning is never done. If you get invigorated by cleaning, that's great.

Don't hesitate to find another interest or hobby, though--maybe something you've always been interested in.

Saskia

Thanks for the good thoughts, all. Although I'm not white-knuckling, I'm very aware of the stresses and thus risks of big changes - even positive ones. I know that going back to drinking is quite simply not an option. I've been working on my mind set and focusing on all of the positive things about not drinking.

Since I am, after all, still a gadget geek, it lifted my spirits to explore the options of my cool new exercise watch. That is also, as I expected, helping to get me moving.

My sweet little kitty has been glued to my lap lately - she's here right now, trying to interfere with my typing :-). Time is now simply flying and 3 weeks from tomorrow the movers come.

I'm working on sharing the tough times as well as the good since that is harder for me to do. You all are so important to me! I love that the Marchers thread has picked up again lately and it's good to see returnees. I come here at least read several times a day and find it to be a critical source of friendship and support!

Babs1234

Toots got company that day===so, like you guys suggested I'm going to make a list and maybe that will get me going.
Sass===I come here too several times a day---it helps me keep my mind and thoughts of to do's in line.
gilmer thanks for the support and all of you Marchers that have kept me going. It is still 11 below here this morning so I sure don't feel like sticking my beek out the door.

Northlander

Hi Marchers

Just checking in - husband and I are desperately ill from food poisoning and every little muscle aches. Just water for us today. Ate out at a burger specialty place last night. Big mistake.



Freezing cold and dogs upset that we are too ill to walk them today.

Sending big love to everyone facing transitions and changes this year.

Off to watch the complete Star Trek, the original series.

BuddinK

YUCK. Hope you feel better soon. A lobster house in Cozumel got me once.

trachemys

North, get well soon. I know that's never fun. Hey if you're a sci-fi fan, see if you can find a series titled: The Starlost. It's one of the worst SF series ever made and 16 episodes of free cheesy canadian goodness.

Saskia

(((North))), I hope you and husband both feel better soon!

Gilmer

Sorry you guys are so sick, North. I hope this passes quickly.

1Dayatatyme

Sorry you are feeling poorly, North. Sending positive energy your way for a quick recovery.

1Dayatatyme

Toots and Meso : Meso, I am borrowing your response to Toots's advice to you in a previous post: You must be a pretty good teacher if I'm following your advice before you even give it. :-)

I actually have joined several Meet-ups since I retired in mid-October, but only those with platonic relationships as part of the general guidelines.

I steered clear of those listing "singles" in the title, not only b/c I am not actively seeking a relationship of that type, but most of the single meet-ups are held during happy hours or at breweries and wine bars... NO THANK YOU!

I will share about one of my meet-ups: It is for introverts. Meets for coffee... general conversation.. the people I have met, both men and women, are intelligent and a bit quirky... himmm... good possibility for friendships down the road, and will see what develops. And, of course, I have several male friends that I have had for years... they have been my "brothers" in time when I needed a male ear to listen to me.

Babs1234

OHhhhh North feel better soon. I had it on a stuffed pork chop and that was a few years back----haven't had one since. yuk
Babs

Marcher13

Good morning everyone. It's a sad morning here, six of us -- three couples -- are good "art" friends, of a similar age (50-60), we get together for meals and convo frequently. This morning we heard that one of the group has died, he was only 58. Last week we were quite shocked when he -- a strong fit healthy man -- was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer, he died of a massive heart attack last night.

I'm off to see his partner in a few minutes.

Look after yourselves peeps.

Gilmer

I'm sorry, Marcher.

MeSoSober

Do I get royalties or something for that?

Your group sounds cool. I like the idea of a social group of people who don't think of themselves as very social. Some quirkiness is generally good in my book, too!

North, whatever else you've puked up, the clown image tells me your sense of humor has stayed down. I hope the one good thing about food poisoning is that it doesn't last. You and your husband feel better soon!

Marcher, so sorry to hear about your friend's death. Much too young and a reminder, as Dee's Warren Zevon signature teaches, to enjoy every sandwich. Glad his partner has you and the rest of your group to lean on. :-(

Toots, you keep that shovel handy. :-)

Sassy, there's no better friend than a good kitty unless it's an SR pal. :-)

Today I went to Michael's (craft store), and it was special. Several cute new embellishments and other things in the cheapie bins. SCORE! I'm really glad to have tapped into my creative side more this year. I hope that the more I flex that muscle, the stronger it gets and manifests outside of paper crafting. There's a woman who does these tutorials on YouTube, and I LOVE HER. She's an Aussie and not only does she show you how to make your own junk journal or whatever, she very often weaves in some little life lesson and is just generally very positive, very encouraging. Here she is:
https://www.youtube.com/user/Poketfullofvintage

Spent part of the afternoon covering and embellishing the cover of a composition book as a journal and watching real-life murder mysteries (Forensic Files). It was a pleasure.

And then since the weather was warmer today I went for a paddle for the first time in months. I love going at sundown. I didn't see anything very interesting this time, but it was nice just the same, with the wind really chasing the clouds out of town. Our cat met me at the spot where I (always awkwardly) got out, which was a nice surprise.

Pretty good day. Hope all of you guys (those and mentioned and everyone else) had good ones too. Love and hugs.

Saskia

(((Marcher))), so sorry to hear about your friend. It may sound strange to put it this way but I think a massive heart attack would be a comparative blessing compared to pancreatic cancer. There is, however, no "easy" way for someone's friends. I think it is so especially sad when someone is in the prime of life.

1day, I like your thinking! I hope I can find some congenial groups in my new home. For the early years, I expect to focus more on the local community at large and look for volunteer work and good people.

MeSo, you are already sounding more positive since you came back. It sounds like you are getting into other interests that are possible when we stay sober. I find that so self-reinforcing. It's not that all desire to drink is gone; rather, I find that when an urge hits, it's becoming easier to weigh the pros and cons - and for me there are definitely far more cons than pros!

Recently i've been watching Alaska troopers on Netflix. I got an amazing view of how we talk and behave when drunk. And I also noted the jail terms and stiff fines. People I know in AA that have lost their ******** and/or are on probation find it to be onerous. I don't ever want to be in that kind of spot! I think it has helped me see the issues in a clearer way (in addition to all of the other reasons!)

tootsl1

(((((Marcher))))) how sad for all of you, especially his wife. My condolences, 58 is so very young. Though as Sass says, for me it would be preferable to something slower, more painful. I am holding your hand over the next few days as you help your friend in any way you can, as I know that you will.

Marcher13

Thanks Sass and Gilmer and MeSo. I understand what you are saying Sass, We were still coming to terms with the advanced pancreatic diagnosis which was completely out of the blue, then for Chris to die this way was ...

I know what you are saying. My Dad died suddenly but Mr Marcher's mother had a very long drawn out death from a secondary cancer initiated by a melanoma.

Chris's death is so completely unexpected.

Life if you are still reading here at the Marchers I wish you would come back and announce yourself under your new? name. What you said was terribly wrong, but you could come back and tell us how you are going and acknowledge that you have a choice and let us know what you are doing with that choice.

Marcher13

Thanks Toots, just saw your message.

Duffster

I'm so sorry for your loss, Marcher. So tragic

360shoes

I'm sorry about your friend too Marcher. Very sad.

Sorry about the food poisoning to North and Mr. North. That's right up there in the 5 worst temporary ailments. Toothache is up there too. Barfing is just plain miserable. I saw a documentary on the health channel once showing what your body does when it gets food poisoning. Pretty much everything it can to eliminate the bacteria and at super speed. Been there. Not fun. Feel better soon.

I've done the online dating. I thought it was kind of fun. I got real good at excusing myself politely if needed and I did meet some nice guys. And a couple of nuts. But that's pretty normal. It's a 50/50 chance anywhere. My only suggestion is always meet during the week that way you have the I have to get up early for work excuse. That and meet in public place. Most of the guys ran in one of 2 categories. Desperately searching for a wife or serial players. Once in awhile you will meet someone totally fine being single and just looking to meet nice people with common interest. Only 1 guy I met was all into drinking. It was obvious even to me and i was in to drinking then too. Haha. I would or will do it again if I feel like it. Not now though. I'm still too p.o'd over the last one. That's going to take another...48 hours to get over.

I'm fine being single. Obviously. Since that's all I've known. I wouldn't mind another manfriend though. 2 days a week. Standby for dates to weddings etc. the occasional movie. Haha.

I'd rather online date than sit in a bar all night. I can't even imagine doing that.

Oh well. I'm fine. My BFF and I are hitting a couple of fun things this week. A David Bowie documentary at a fun theater downtown and our museum has Warhol exhibit this week. That will be fun. The massage was fabulous. Next on the list is a facial.

Oh, and I'm thinking of having eyelash extensions put on. Then I don't have to wear mascara. The spa I go to does them. They look great. And they promised me my natural ones won't fall out.

See. I'm keeping busy. I fade in and out of being sad but I'll live. I lean into the sharp point and don't avoid it. If I'm sad im sad. It won't kill me.

He's still a jacka** though.

xoxo
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