Class of March 2013 part 36
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I'm glad you weathered the storm of a depressing day, Babs. Now you know for a fact that you do not have to drink for depression, stress, anger, or sadness. You can resist alcohol--and you will. You will come to love being sober and grow in serenity.
Speaking of being glad I'm not drinking, I had my first bad drinking dream last night. I dreamed I was someplace on vacation, and somebody had left me a glass of white wine. Without thinking, I drank it. Later, my (also recovering alcoholic) son poured me a glass of red wine. I put it to my lips, then it occurred to me that I had just blown over a year's sobriety and was back on Day 1. I started to cry and was very sorrowful--but my son mocked me and was very dismissive. I was aghast at how he turned on me.
Glad to wake from that one!
Speaking of being glad I'm not drinking, I had my first bad drinking dream last night. I dreamed I was someplace on vacation, and somebody had left me a glass of white wine. Without thinking, I drank it. Later, my (also recovering alcoholic) son poured me a glass of red wine. I put it to my lips, then it occurred to me that I had just blown over a year's sobriety and was back on Day 1. I started to cry and was very sorrowful--but my son mocked me and was very dismissive. I was aghast at how he turned on me.
Glad to wake from that one!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
Really toots? You swooned over Pat Cash? I was friends with him. He was in my social circle for a while...what can I say?
Nothing, because it would be defamatory.
As scary as that dream was Gilmer, I think it's very positive.
Just your sub-conscious reminding you to stay on track or you will be aghast.
Because this is precious.
Nothing, because it would be defamatory.
As scary as that dream was Gilmer, I think it's very positive.
Just your sub-conscious reminding you to stay on track or you will be aghast.
Because this is precious.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Curious now about the juicy dirt on Pat Cash! "Enquiring minds want to know!"
BTW, that's the slogan for the first and foremost sleazy American tabloid, The National Enquirer, which is sold in supermarket checkout lines. All the juicy dirt on celebrities (reputed to be largely untrue). Not that I've ever leafed through it while waiting in line, of course...
BTW, that's the slogan for the first and foremost sleazy American tabloid, The National Enquirer, which is sold in supermarket checkout lines. All the juicy dirt on celebrities (reputed to be largely untrue). Not that I've ever leafed through it while waiting in line, of course...
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
In my defence I was a schoolgirl and I thought his mullet was the bees knees!!! 
Duff, Babs well done on the avoidance
Mesoso, no pronouncements just a really nice meal at the local Tapas bar.
Gilmer, those dreams leave me discombobulated all day long!
Duff, Babs well done on the avoidance
Mesoso, no pronouncements just a really nice meal at the local Tapas bar.
Gilmer, those dreams leave me discombobulated all day long!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Thanks all for the wonderful support. At least I'm not white-knuckling and am still thinking it through. I'm still going to meetings. Went to one last night. The topic was gratitude and it was a good reminder that I have much to be grateful for. One of the things you suggested, Toots, reminded me of something I had previously thought of. Though I would love a small dog, my cat would be most unhappy. However, in my new home there are dog owners and I'm sure some would be happy to have someone walk them :-).
I'm not fond of big transitions and sometimes I feel socially awkward. So these are challenges. And even though I believe this will work out, it's also true that if it doesn't, i won't be stuck.
Shoes, I agree - not man not friend doesn't deserve you! You are awesome and I hope you find Mr. Right :-)
Trachy, yes! We do very much appreciate you
More anon.
I'm not fond of big transitions and sometimes I feel socially awkward. So these are challenges. And even though I believe this will work out, it's also true that if it doesn't, i won't be stuck.
Shoes, I agree - not man not friend doesn't deserve you! You are awesome and I hope you find Mr. Right :-)
Trachy, yes! We do very much appreciate you
More anon.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
hi Marchers---doing well today---it's stormy here today so, it's a good day for me to clean out some of the cupboards that are full of stuff I don't use. I've put it off for ever !!! ha ha I talk big so now let's see if I actually do it. I also have some good books to read. Gosh ---which one do you think I will do? The wind is gusting up to 40 miles an hour and the wind chill is way below zero---Good day to stay inside.
Everyone have a great day !! hugs to all of you
Babs
Everyone have a great day !! hugs to all of you
Babs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
That's what I like about good friends. They got your back and tell you your ex doesn't deserve you. Haha. You are all good friends.
I wish I was the type that could stay mad a little bit longer. I'm more the type that the minute I say it I'm over it. Sometimes that hasn't served me well. Most times it does though.
Oh well. I'm over him. I was actually over him long before if I'm honest. I just don't particularly care that he met someone else. I have no problem with her. I ain't one of those women. I hope they can make it work. She'll need all the hope she can get beings he was still lingering around me on the side in the guise of bring me food and telling me what a good friend I am. He was crossing friend boundary line and I called him on his ******** right before the final blowout. I asked him if she knew we were friends and he said "oh yes of course". I asked him how she would feel knowing he just offered me a lap dance and then all h.e. double toothpicks blew. I take that as she didn't quite know about that one.
Trust me. I didn't take him up on his lovely and generous offer. I don't do somebodies backup plan.
I'm sick of his cooking anyway. How much curry and cinnamon can one woman take. I will miss him ironing my shirts though.
Don't mind me. Just venting.
Hang in there Sass and Babs! You are doing great. Lean into the sharp points as my lovely buddhist book says. It's were the greatest lessons lie. Stay in the now. It's the only thing real. Everything else is just a story in our heads.
So off to go get a massage! And that's how you move on from a broken heart. Love yourself first. Hahahahaha
xoxo
Shoes
I wish I was the type that could stay mad a little bit longer. I'm more the type that the minute I say it I'm over it. Sometimes that hasn't served me well. Most times it does though.
Oh well. I'm over him. I was actually over him long before if I'm honest. I just don't particularly care that he met someone else. I have no problem with her. I ain't one of those women. I hope they can make it work. She'll need all the hope she can get beings he was still lingering around me on the side in the guise of bring me food and telling me what a good friend I am. He was crossing friend boundary line and I called him on his ******** right before the final blowout. I asked him if she knew we were friends and he said "oh yes of course". I asked him how she would feel knowing he just offered me a lap dance and then all h.e. double toothpicks blew. I take that as she didn't quite know about that one.
Trust me. I didn't take him up on his lovely and generous offer. I don't do somebodies backup plan.
I'm sick of his cooking anyway. How much curry and cinnamon can one woman take. I will miss him ironing my shirts though.
Don't mind me. Just venting.
Hang in there Sass and Babs! You are doing great. Lean into the sharp points as my lovely buddhist book says. It's were the greatest lessons lie. Stay in the now. It's the only thing real. Everything else is just a story in our heads.
So off to go get a massage! And that's how you move on from a broken heart. Love yourself first. Hahahahaha
xoxo
Shoes
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,420
I want you Marchers dealing with bruised hearts or low moods to know I am here to offer my support and unconditional validation of your feelings and also share some of the same.
This is a tough time of year in our part of the world with the cold and the shorter days, so that any negative feelings can be magnified by the dreary and chilly days. And, as someone mentioned earlier, the after holiday "hangover" doesn't help much. Not all people suffer, but for me, I feel that let down after decorating, planning, cooking and spending more time with my family.
Living alone at this time of my life has its ups and downs, and sometimes I wish that I was in a relationship. However, I am a work in progress at this point, and do not have the ego strength to do the whole dating/rejection thing, as it becomes more difficult to find a truly kind and appropriate partner at my age. It seems the emphasis on youth, and looks, has narrowed the pool of available men to make it just a puddle, and muddy at that, so I have bowed out.
Knock on wood, but so far, my AV has not reared its ugly head regarding alcohol. Alcohol, especially the day after drinking, has such a depressant effect I could not even contemplate relapse at this time. However, the thought of pain pills does cross my mind, and I play that tape through or go over to read the substance abuse threads to get a dose of reality on that issue. I am able to shut those thoughts down. Having two and a half months clean and sober feels so good I am not wanting to jeopardize it. I can't imagine how vulnerable I would feel if I went on a date and got rejected by someone I thought I liked, and then it wasn't reciprocated. Not at this time in my life.
Sass, yes gratitude is a wonderful antidote! I am grateful for all my friends here, my beautiful family, and my cozy little home, as well as my recovery.
My mood can turn around quite quickly when I practice gratitude.
This is a tough time of year in our part of the world with the cold and the shorter days, so that any negative feelings can be magnified by the dreary and chilly days. And, as someone mentioned earlier, the after holiday "hangover" doesn't help much. Not all people suffer, but for me, I feel that let down after decorating, planning, cooking and spending more time with my family.
Living alone at this time of my life has its ups and downs, and sometimes I wish that I was in a relationship. However, I am a work in progress at this point, and do not have the ego strength to do the whole dating/rejection thing, as it becomes more difficult to find a truly kind and appropriate partner at my age. It seems the emphasis on youth, and looks, has narrowed the pool of available men to make it just a puddle, and muddy at that, so I have bowed out.
Knock on wood, but so far, my AV has not reared its ugly head regarding alcohol. Alcohol, especially the day after drinking, has such a depressant effect I could not even contemplate relapse at this time. However, the thought of pain pills does cross my mind, and I play that tape through or go over to read the substance abuse threads to get a dose of reality on that issue. I am able to shut those thoughts down. Having two and a half months clean and sober feels so good I am not wanting to jeopardize it. I can't imagine how vulnerable I would feel if I went on a date and got rejected by someone I thought I liked, and then it wasn't reciprocated. Not at this time in my life.
Sass, yes gratitude is a wonderful antidote! I am grateful for all my friends here, my beautiful family, and my cozy little home, as well as my recovery.
My mood can turn around quite quickly when I practice gratitude.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
Originally Posted by 1Dayatatyme 
I want you Marchers dealing with bruised hearts or low moods to know I am here to offer my support and unconditional validation of your feelings and also share some of the same.
I loved having Jeff in my life. He absolutely raised my quality of life. I felt so lucky to have him and if I can't have him, I hope I find another man to grow old(er) with. With that said, I am well aware and most appreciative of the advantages of being and living alone. There's much to be said for Total Autonomy In All Things (TV, meals, music turned up loud, home décor, talking to oneself -- and answering when you feel it, coming and going at whatever hours and for whatever reason without answering to a soul, spending money exactly as you see fit, etc.) and having it your way at Burger King and everywhere else.
Babs -- I LOVE getting rid of stuff. Watching Hoarders marathons is really inspiring that way. Love decluttering my life and donating things to help someone else. Win/win.
Sassy -- You sound like you have things well in hand and a great head on your shoulders. You do us proud. You do yourself proud, actually.
Toots -- I sort of did tell him to get to buggery, in so many words. You must be a pretty good teacher if I'm following your advice before you even give it. :-)
Gilmer -- You reminded me of having dreams as a kid -- in the dreams my parents had punished me or reprimanded or otherwise pissed me off and when I woke up I was still mad at them. I knew on some level that it was irrational, but that's how I felt. You can put that one behind you, thankfully!!
Hellos and hugs to all I didn't mention by name. Make it a good one, peeps.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Thanks, MeSo! That is pretty amazing to follow Toots' great advice before she gives voice to it. 
After a really bad marriage that lasted 15 years (14.5 years too long), I've not been interested in trying that again. I've been single over 30 years now and don't expect that to change. There are some good guys out there but I don't trust my ability to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.
I don't really have much left to do for move ... If I get rid of any more stuff I will need to start buying again, lol! I just keep thinking that I must have more left to do. I'm starting to perseverate, fussing over minutiae that don't deserve any real thought and time.
Trachy, I'm so proud of you! You seem to be sailing along.
1day, you sound "settled" in a good way.
Gotta run and go do more unnecessary things so I will feel useful!
After a really bad marriage that lasted 15 years (14.5 years too long), I've not been interested in trying that again. I've been single over 30 years now and don't expect that to change. There are some good guys out there but I don't trust my ability to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.
I don't really have much left to do for move ... If I get rid of any more stuff I will need to start buying again, lol! I just keep thinking that I must have more left to do. I'm starting to perseverate, fussing over minutiae that don't deserve any real thought and time.
Trachy, I'm so proud of you! You seem to be sailing along.
1day, you sound "settled" in a good way.
Gotta run and go do more unnecessary things so I will feel useful!
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
ooooh, I'm in trouble. I may need help.
I just discovered that, because of my new Roku device I can find video on my computer and send it to me tv...My tv has great sound...I'm having fun with music!
I just discovered that, because of my new Roku device I can find video on my computer and send it to me tv...My tv has great sound...I'm having fun with music!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by trachemys
ooooh, I'm in trouble. I may need help.
I just discovered that, because of my new Roku device I can find video on my computer and send it to me tv...My tv has great sound...I'm having fun with music!
I just discovered that, because of my new Roku device I can find video on my computer and send it to me tv...My tv has great sound...I'm having fun with music!
My TV is even internet enabled. I must figure this out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,420
MeSo: Of course, I will help you hide the body... what else is a sister Marcher here for??? I didn't watch Dexter to the pathetic end for nothing now, did I? 
I appreciate how you listed both the pros of being in a relationship with a quality man, and also the pros of living alone. There is so much good in each situation. The meal thing, when living alone, is so much easier, especially since I cooked for my family for 19 years, regardless if I worked full time or not. And with my sleep issues, I am grateful I don't have to tiptoe around when I wake up at 3am or 5am, I can just get on the computer or turn on the tv until I am ready to sleep again. I am leaning more towards the pros of being single and living alone, although it would be nice to have a boyfriend to go out to dinner with or see a movie with, once a week or so.
Sass: You make another valid point "but I don't trust my ability to separate the wheat from the chaff"... Yes! I have blind spots when it comes to picking men, and I had made some rather dubious dating choices after my marriage of 19 years dissolved back when I was in my forties.
The timing of this subject is rather coincidental, but I am about to start to read a book, "Calling In the One", by Katherine Woodward Thomas, in order to assist a male acquaintance of mine who is very determined to re-marry at this point in his life, and yet is having no luck out there. This book was recommended to me by some friends, as well as getting great reviews on Amazon. I have been postponing starting to read it, but will need to do so in the coming week. It sounds like it has a spiritual basis, and has a good recommendation from Marianne Williamson. It is based on the Law of Attraction. I am kind of excited to read it from the perspective of assisting another with their journey, as opposed to reading it with my own life in mind. I will post any thoughts I have or the results for my friend in the future, if I follow through with this little project.
I appreciate how you listed both the pros of being in a relationship with a quality man, and also the pros of living alone. There is so much good in each situation. The meal thing, when living alone, is so much easier, especially since I cooked for my family for 19 years, regardless if I worked full time or not. And with my sleep issues, I am grateful I don't have to tiptoe around when I wake up at 3am or 5am, I can just get on the computer or turn on the tv until I am ready to sleep again. I am leaning more towards the pros of being single and living alone, although it would be nice to have a boyfriend to go out to dinner with or see a movie with, once a week or so. Sass: You make another valid point "but I don't trust my ability to separate the wheat from the chaff"... Yes! I have blind spots when it comes to picking men, and I had made some rather dubious dating choices after my marriage of 19 years dissolved back when I was in my forties.
The timing of this subject is rather coincidental, but I am about to start to read a book, "Calling In the One", by Katherine Woodward Thomas, in order to assist a male acquaintance of mine who is very determined to re-marry at this point in his life, and yet is having no luck out there. This book was recommended to me by some friends, as well as getting great reviews on Amazon. I have been postponing starting to read it, but will need to do so in the coming week. It sounds like it has a spiritual basis, and has a good recommendation from Marianne Williamson. It is based on the Law of Attraction. I am kind of excited to read it from the perspective of assisting another with their journey, as opposed to reading it with my own life in mind. I will post any thoughts I have or the results for my friend in the future, if I follow through with this little project.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,420
Trach: I have Chromecast, and I love it... it is amazing! I was going to get the Amazon Firestick, as the reviews were a bit more positive, but it is currently sold out. I am happy with Chromecast and as my tv also has excellent sound, enjoy my Netflix viewing very much.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Watching Yes's Union concert online is somewhat poignant for me. I was at the concert with my last wife and friends. I remember getting there. That's it.
My favorite band, in it's finest glory. I don't remember a song.
My favorite band, in it's finest glory. I don't remember a song.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
Count me in Mesoso 
I think you are all aware by now of my not so latent psychopathic tendencies! As for following my advice before I've even given it... All I can say is "My work here is done!"
As for MF Shoes, two words for him :c010 :*******:
Oneday, I think humans are social creatures, not meant to be completely alone, but if we have good friends, family and a social life it is far better than being in an unhealthy relationship. I suggest you seek social activities that you enjoy, this way, should you happen to meet someone of the male persuasion, there is no pressure to be more than friends with a common interest, but things may happen if the chemistry is there.
Sass change of any sort is against human nature, it takes us out of our 'safe ' zone. As the woman tending cave and hearth, it was more important to us to remain safe and leave the fighting of mammoths to the men folk. Nowadays we do need to step out of our comfort zone, and it is no bad thing, but the genetic fear is still there to be overcome. Keep close here, keep up your F2F meetings and keep planning for the positives of the move. I know you will remain focussed on your sobriety, just remember when things get tough reach out.
BABS did you clear out the clutter? I found it tough not working last year as I allowed myself to slip into the doldrums. It is easy when you have no routine, to fall into bad habits. I found forcing a routine and writing lists of things to do was a life saver.
Now that I am back in work, I have a semi routine, I need to ensure now, at the start of my new year to write some lists and get a full routine going. Hubby is back at work tomorrow ( as am I ) so I have the house back to myself so will be getting organised.
Much love to all my Marcher buddies
I think you are all aware by now of my not so latent psychopathic tendencies! As for following my advice before I've even given it... All I can say is "My work here is done!" As for MF Shoes, two words for him :c010 :*******:
Oneday, I think humans are social creatures, not meant to be completely alone, but if we have good friends, family and a social life it is far better than being in an unhealthy relationship. I suggest you seek social activities that you enjoy, this way, should you happen to meet someone of the male persuasion, there is no pressure to be more than friends with a common interest, but things may happen if the chemistry is there.
Sass change of any sort is against human nature, it takes us out of our 'safe ' zone. As the woman tending cave and hearth, it was more important to us to remain safe and leave the fighting of mammoths to the men folk. Nowadays we do need to step out of our comfort zone, and it is no bad thing, but the genetic fear is still there to be overcome. Keep close here, keep up your F2F meetings and keep planning for the positives of the move. I know you will remain focussed on your sobriety, just remember when things get tough reach out.
BABS did you clear out the clutter? I found it tough not working last year as I allowed myself to slip into the doldrums. It is easy when you have no routine, to fall into bad habits. I found forcing a routine and writing lists of things to do was a life saver.
Now that I am back in work, I have a semi routine, I need to ensure now, at the start of my new year to write some lists and get a full routine going. Hubby is back at work tomorrow ( as am I ) so I have the house back to myself so will be getting organised.
Much love to all my Marcher buddies
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