Gilmer

:

Saskia

Gilmer, you are a stitch :-). You seem to have the perfect responses!

Shoes, good to see you here more often. You sound solid in sobriety. Life still happens but it sure is much better to meet it sober. Somehow emotional pain doesn't last as long when I'm sober.

I'm reaching a point where I simply can't imagine myself drinking again. Yes, the thought sometimes still crosses my mind but it takes about 30 seconds - just long enough to remember the consequences and it is becoming close to automatic now. I can walk past the wine aisle in the grocery store and simply think "nope, don't want or need that!". Temptation very occasionally but then I remember how totally constricted my life was when drinking. I was incredibly tightly controlled because I didn't want to drink and drive, didn't want to have anyone hear me slur my speech, etc. life feels so much freer now!

Gilmer

That is so great, Sass! I feel the same way. Any twitches I have are totally disassociated from the reality of obtaining a bottle and taking a drink.

Saskia

Great way to express what I am feeling, too, Gilmer :-)

I am so grateful I have reached this point. Initially i didn't think I could stop, then wasn't sure if I could maintain this. Now, although I'm not getting overconfident, I'm feeling so much more empowered. Yes, I feel stressed about upcoming changes but I know, deep down, that escaping can only make things worse. Watching the Alaska State Troopers, hokey though it may be, finally really brought home to me what I had heard: that alcohol makes liars of us. I kept hearing people deny that they were impaired when they could barely walk or were incredibly angry and mouthy. At first I thought that couldn't be me. Hah! Then I realized that yes, that could so easily have been and in some cases, was, me. And I surely don't want to be that way!

1Dayatatyme

Marcher: I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and send my condolences.
Please know I am here if you need to pm.

MeSo: Your post about Michael's and your crafting ideas was so positive and inspiring! How fun! and creative! Perhaps, if you feel comfortable, you will post a picture of a completed project someday here?

Shoes: You make me laugh so much... your description of on-line dating experiences remind me of my male friend I am helping... he is so desperate to re-marry that I am sure his dates can smell it on him... haha. Being you are in the Chicago metro area, have you ever participated in any open mic nights for comedy? You are a hoot! Nice self care ideas!

Sass: I will check out Alaska troopers, thanks for sharing. You sound so strong in your recovery... I like the part about feeling free without the need to be tightly controlled... you must feel so much more relaxed and happy in general!

Toots, Duff, North, Gilmer, everyone else: Have a good day, and I will be checking in again soon!

Gilmer

What a fantastic idea to showcase Shoes' talents!

Babs1234

Sorry about your friend Marcher----
Sass, Gilmer---I pray the day will come when I don't think about drinking. It will be only a month tomorrow but, it will get better. I just have to turn my head when AV
starts in on me. and like you guys said just remember the with drawls. ugh. Believe me that does the trick. Have a great day Marchers ---It's cold here again today. too darn cold to even go out. Brrrrrrrrr
Hugs
Babs

Northlander

Marcher, very sorry for your loss...



Thanks all, for the well wishes. Better today, finally had a piece of toast, no butter. Thanks for the sci-fi suggestion, Trach, will check it out.

Sass, glad to hear you are feeling empowered and more confident. When I see those reality shows where they are taking the drunk into custody, I am so grateful to be sober.

Shoes, there is a man-friend out there for you, but you also sound absolutely fine as an independent operator.

Back to the horizontal position. Big love to all Marchers!

Gilmer

Glad you have improved enough to eat a little something, North.

1Dayatatyme

Babs: Congratulations on 1 month sober! It is a great start and things should get easier. It will get better and you won't think about drinking so much if you have other things to occupy your mind. I am coming up on 3 months clean and sober the middle of this month and I was so busy with the holidays and signing up for Meet-ups, attending some 12 step meetings I had enjoyed in the past, and posting regularly here and on other threads that I don't think about drinking, and have only fleeting thoughts of using pills.

Perhaps you can find inspiration from Sass: I found her posts this last time around chock full of good recovery ideas and a solid plan to stay sober. I could tell she meant business! Unfortunately, if we do not have a plan of action, our AV can take over, and we find that relapse becomes an option quite easily.

I also have been quite affected by the cold this winter: the wind, the record low temperatures, and the driving conditions have been worse than average.

For me, I post about it, and then I have to change my thoughts to those more positive, or find an activity to distract me. Otherwise, I can sink into depression fairly quickly and you know what comes next.

I retired from my main job before I had planned to, due to conditions at work, and my daughter's need to have me babysit. I have to make sure I do not have too much idle time on my hands b/c my AV would sieze the opportunity to convince me that using is a good idea. Babs: if I relapsed now, it would be horrific! With the extra time on my hands I am sure I would rapidly become so entrenched that my biggest fear is I would not have the strength to come back here... my AV would win. I never want to give him that opportunity.

I need you and all the Marchers to stay here so that I can continue to have a quality recovery and a quality life. Keep fighting the good fight!

Please feel free to PM me anytime!

venuscat

Wanted to let you know that my surgery went well so the doc says
Very sick and pain beyond anything I could have imagined
Don't think they will let me go home today

Duffster

(((Venus))) I wish I could be there to hold your hand! What a relief that the surgery went well. I'm sorry about the pain xoxo

Gilmer

Thanks for letting us know how you are, V! I am sorry you are suffering so, but very glad the operation was a success. I hope they will find some way to manage your pain safely.

Duffster

Sorry I haven't been posting much - I've been busy reading our resident author's NOVEL! Toots!! Tomorrow Begins Today is fantastic! I'm only on the 5th chapter but can't wait to continue. It's so interesting to read since I feel like I know you so well -- I know it's fiction but I feel like it has glimpses of your real life -- I especially like that you wrote about "Misty" who I know is the lovely Molly. And I feel a teensy bit like I have a part in the story too -- as one of your SL friends. So much fun!! My only complaint --- what you did to poor Mr. Toots in the very first chapter!! Only teasing -- you still allow us to know him through the following chapters (hope I'm not giving too much away).

Anyway, I encourage all Marchers to read it

Duffster

Also been spending time watching Orange is the New Black -- I'm officially sucked into the plot. Now I remember why I don't watch too much TV -- I get too involved.

My eldest starts his new school tomorrow so feeling a little anxious about that - even though he's the most well adjusted person I know, I'm a nervous wreck -- just hoping he's happy there.

Well, V hope you get lots of rest in the hospital. Shoes, I hope you're feeling brighter about things. We all know he doesn't deserve you!

Marcher13

Good morning Marchers

V it's good to hear from you, awful about the pain but they will get that under control, I hope it's soon. I hear anaesthetics can be horrid so I hope that is getting out of your system.

North I am glad to hear you are a bit better, I hope Mr North is better too. Now that you are having toast you could have some Vegemite on it -- that's what I do if I'm ill but then again it might take you back to where you were.

Shoes are you sure about those eyelash extensions? Won't they have to put glue near your eyes??

Have a good day peeps.

trachemys

Marcher, sorry about your friend. Those kind of shocks are never easy.

Toots, I was going to apply but I'll wait until the anger's gone. Plus a few months.

Venus, recover quickly and completely.

Started the new job today. It's ok. My trainer is a nice person. Lots of new stuff to learn and lots of old knowledge to dole out piecemeal for raises. Got a call while there from the alteration shop I repair for. Picked up $20 in 20 minutes on the way home.

Have a great evening, Everyone. I'm gonna eat, find some tools I need and collapse on the sofa.

Gilmer

Glad things went well, Trach!

1Dayatatyme

Venus: Thank you for taking the time to check in and let us know that you made it through. I am sending prayers your way that you feel better soon and that the pain becomes manageable quickly.

1Dayatatyme

Duff: It sounds like you are making great progress in keeping one of your New Year's resolutions.