(((Marcher))), so sorry to hear about your friend. It may sound strange to put it this way but I think a massive heart attack would be a comparative blessing compared to pancreatic cancer. There is, however, no "easy" way for someone's friends. I think it is so especially sad when someone is in the prime of life.
1day, I like your thinking! I hope I can find some congenial groups in my new home. For the early years, I expect to focus more on the local community at large and look for volunteer work and good people.
MeSo, you are already sounding more positive since you came back. It sounds like you are getting into other interests that are possible when we stay sober. I find that so self-reinforcing. It's not that all desire to drink is gone; rather, I find that when an urge hits, it's becoming easier to weigh the pros and cons - and for me there are definitely far more cons than pros!
Recently i've been watching Alaska troopers on Netflix. I got an amazing view of how we talk and behave when drunk. And I also noted the jail terms and stiff fines. People I know in AA that have lost their ******** and/or are on probation find it to be onerous. I don't ever want to be in that kind of spot! I think it has helped me see the issues in a clearer way (in addition to all of the other reasons!)