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Class of December 2012 - Part 13

Old 01-18-2015, 04:02 PM
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I'm sorry for your loss Courage.
I'm proud of you for wanting to be there for your bro too, but don't forget yourself and your well-being in all of this, ok?

Take care

D
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Old 01-18-2015, 04:15 PM
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I won't hardly be there for anyone -- my brother is a couple thousand miles away, and I wasn't close to the cousin, though my brother knew him well. But I can make some gestures in my brother's direction. Since the whole friend thing isn't clicking for me, I might as well be a little bit more in touch with the remnants of my family, no?
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Old 01-18-2015, 05:20 PM
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you asked for a virtual pat on the back...arguments weren't part of that deal Courage

Of course if you feel you can and you should, go be there for your bro

D
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Old 01-18-2015, 05:27 PM
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Thanks Dee -- I'm so disagreeable! Sorry. Or thanks. Or sorry. Oh well.
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Old 01-18-2015, 07:36 PM
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How about a virtual hug? I'm sorry to hear that. It is so hard when they go off their meds. But you can be a friend.
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Old 01-18-2015, 07:58 PM
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Old 01-19-2015, 02:40 AM
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Courage - sorry to hear :o( Big transatlantic 20 foot high waves of love and hugs heading your way.
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Old 01-19-2015, 02:51 AM
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Morning All,

I clocked my second 150 on Sunday – only 37 days until I’ll break past the run. Getting excited about that now, climbing back on the wagon after that last slip on Day 1 looking back up at the Day 187 peak was giving AV a field day with “oh why bother, you’ll only stuff it up, it’s so far away too, (poor me, pour me). Day 14 was worse in a way cos it took so long to get there and 14 is such a small number!

Nice shoes Tam – hope you had a great day :o)

Sorry to hear about the work struggles Taz, that’s poor planning of them but think of it as a unexpected test to show what a super resilient human being you are and it will be easier :o)

Courage – re my work, it’s interesting, I’ve been in Sales for 20 years and on the induction for this place the CEO pointed out that because Sales is mostly high highs and low lows it can produce a manic type of personality (no s**t Sherlock!). Thursday was a low point with a promised order not arriving and I’d all but chucked the towel in plus with some mega interpersonal struggles with the committee with the run up to a big showdown on Sunday I was starting to crack. Now the showdown’s happened and turned out okish, I’ve had a positive call on the very large deal I’m working on and an apology from the customer for not sending the order in last week with the promise of doing it this week – the sun is literally shining on a sunny London and I’m riding the wave of a high again! The idea before I’m 40 is to work myself into either management or Super Tech position which doesn’t carry a target with a local company to set the work / life balance correctly :o)

Been thinking of you through the storms Ready, the TV coverage looks bad and now you’ve got The Arctic Plume! Keep that fire burning :o)

Have a good day Decemberites :o)
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Old 01-19-2015, 02:07 PM
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Sorry to hear of your loss courage. Sending you hugs.x
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Old 01-19-2015, 08:20 PM
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Hugs your way Courage. At work will catch up with everyone later
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Old 01-20-2015, 08:47 AM
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Hi everyone. Hugs your way Courage that's sad. Hope the storms passed Ready.

I wrote some big old long post then it timed me out. Basically I miss you all. I havent been to SR in months. Hope everyone is well.
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Old 01-20-2015, 08:53 AM
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We miss you, too, Fallow -- you're always welcome here and everywhere on SR! We're all about the hugs and the trying and the leaning on one another thing, you know it!
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Old 01-20-2015, 09:39 AM
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Thanks for the warm welcome back Courage
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Old 01-20-2015, 01:55 PM
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Welcome back too Fallow - I've been back a couple of times, it's like coming in from the cold :o)

Thanks Decemberites - I don't say it often enough but this group has been the backbone of my recovery - thanks

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Old 01-22-2015, 12:17 PM
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Congrats on your milestone Napster

Welcome back Fallow, It's great to see you and you are always very welcome. stick around this time

How are you courage? I hope things are going ok for you.

How's married life Tam

Oh I only seem to check in here when depressed sorry for that. I've had a pretty rough couple of weeks. I always feel rubbish in winter, that's normal for me but somehow I feel worse this week. I keep feeling like bursting into tears and have done a few times. It really is so remote here and I do feel like hibernating. Ive even started sleeping in the afternoons for an hour as I'm just shattered all the time, It's so unlike me to be so tired.

Emotionally I feel wrecked too, like the wheels are coming off. A friend has been distant ,obviously not as good a friend as I thought. Which is fine, so be it but it still hurts a little.

The man I have been seeing tells me he loves me deeply but is not 'in love' with me. What the heck is that all about. usually it sounds like the sort of thing you say when you are about to end a relationship but no that is not the case. He loves me deeply, wants to care for me, cherish me and look after me. He finds me attractive and we are best friends. he says we can have a good life together. But is not 'in love with me' 'yet'.That ethereal 'thing' does it matter he asks? It's still early days he says. I said why be so honest? Surely he knew that would be a hurtful thing to say? Apparently not. He loves me and wants to be with me and we can have a good life together. He is a man who does not make rash decisions. It takes him years rather than hours to make a decision about serious stuff. We are best friends and more (hope not tmi)neither wants anyone else. We have fun and can be serious too.

Am I reading too much into this? Is there a difference? Does it matter? I feel totally upside down. it's all so flippin complicated. Today I decided I would feel better if I got drunk. But I didn't.

anyway, opinions from men and women would be most welcome.
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Old 01-22-2015, 12:25 PM
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I don't mean I didn't feel better after getting drunk. I meant I didn't get drunk. Sorry for confusion. Just thought best to clarify
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:35 PM
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Hi Ready, I'm sorry for your troubles. He's probably as confused as you are, and I don't know what his experience with romance is -- maybe he thought you'd be comforted by knowing the "in love" feeling is not where he is, since that is so liable to pass. Maybe he's grateful not to have that drama.

One day at a time. If you're happy when you're with him, want no one else for now, and he gives you company and fun and support, maybe you should ask yourself what else you want -- is it something it's reasonable to ask in honesty?

I'm not a fan of the "in love" feeling myself. It's a bit, shall I say, alcoholic to fool around with at our age, no? In all my relationships now, I look for honest respectful and affectionate company in the present, and what modest amount of trust I can manage for the future -- the trust thing isn't much for me, but I know that's my problem, and I avoid people I have reason to mistrust, at least. Do warmth & caring and affection add up to love? Over time....

Feel better. Spring will come. Buy yourself some flowers, or buy some for him.

I'm interested in how our other classmates respond!
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:13 PM
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PS Ready, it occurred to me that I should have asked, are you in love with him? You didn't say. If you're not, why are you concerned that he says he's not with you? I've wanted to make someone fall in love with me who I didn't love that way in kind, out of ego, and even when it happened, it was all wrong.
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Old 01-22-2015, 11:08 PM
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Thanks for your lovely response courage. That jumped out at me-what else do I want? Love, support, friendship, fun, honesty, trust -what else really is there? I suppose it's that little bit of jealousy tbh. He is divorced and was 'in love' with his wife. Am I second best? All very alcoholic thinking. You are very right though-that 'in love' thing can be very fleeting and imo is often just animal lust which can fade over time.


Am I 'in love'? yes though I do find myself asking what it is? We have love friendship trust support etc -what else is there.

today I woke and the the first time this month I don't feel in the pits of despair.Thank God Maybe writing it down, talking helps. I will practise gratitude and be thankful for what I DO have, not chasing what I do not have.

Thank you again for taking the time to respond. You have confirmed what I thought. It is enough.
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Old 01-23-2015, 12:14 AM
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Sorry I missed this RAL but honestly I'm not sure what to advise.

I've always held out for the bells and whistles/fireworks kind of relationships...it's meant long stretches of being on my own, but I'm not sorry I've done it that way.

There ya go - Dee the romantic lol
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