Thanks for your lovely response courage. That jumped out at me-what else do I want? Love, support, friendship, fun, honesty, trust -what else really is there? I suppose it's that little bit of jealousy tbh. He is divorced and was 'in love' with his wife. Am I second best? All very alcoholic thinking. You are very right though-that 'in love' thing can be very fleeting and imo is often just animal lust which can fade over time.
Am I 'in love'? yes though I do find myself asking what it is? We have love friendship trust support etc -what else is there.
today I woke and the the first time this month I don't feel in the pits of despair.Thank God
Maybe writing it down, talking helps. I will practise gratitude and be thankful for what I DO have, not chasing what I do not have.
Thank you again for taking the time to respond. You have confirmed what I thought. It is enough.