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Class of December 2012 - Part 13

Old 12-21-2014, 05:35 AM
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Ready, it sounds like you've entered the emotional vortex -- it's so close to being drunk, maybe that's why it's such a trigger. Once in, a person can't think straight, everything seems so dramatic, running full tilt back and forth between "they love me I matter" and "they love me not I'm a worthless piece of crap."

That's me, anyway

Try, try, try to stay in the moment. When/if you're with this person you're fond of, enjoy! Be peaceful, be kind, be present. Don't talk of your future, don't dwell on your past. A relationship like your sobriety is made one moment at a time.

I don't know what I'm talking about, being hardly the Queen of Relationships But these thoughts comfort me when I'm worrying about how hard it is for me to form bonds, and maybe they'll comfort you, too.
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Old 12-21-2014, 05:48 AM
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Courage- you do sound like you know what you are talking about even though you don't think it yourself

I will stay in the moment and enjoy it for what it is without getting too concerned about what 'might' be.

In answer to your earlier post, no I don't have anyone I can talk to. Only him and you on here. As I moved a couple of years ago all my friends are relatively new and I don't disclose my past. Of course, they know I don't drink but I do not go into detail.

I honestly thought I had gone past the 'difficult' stage . This just shows maybe it never really goes away.
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Old 12-21-2014, 05:49 AM
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Originally Posted by courage2 View Post

Try, try, try to stay in the moment. When/if you're with this person you're fond of, enjoy! Be peaceful, be kind, be present. Don't talk of your future, don't dwell on your past. A relationship like your sobriety is made one moment at a time.
This I love and needed to hear it.
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Old 12-21-2014, 11:11 AM
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Thoughts are with you Ready - *hug*

Wouldn't recommend a slip, absolutely guaranteed to not help anything in the slightest, ever...
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Old 12-21-2014, 12:00 PM
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Thanks Napster. I cannot tell you the sheer relief I feel now by NOT drinking. How scary that I very nearly did. Wow

Today I acted on your suggestions courage. I saw him and was kind,relaxed and just normal. That's how it is with him-just natural and normal. It doesn't matter what happens next year, month or even week. Today is all we have. I am relaxed and friendly

I 've had a few internet and PC problems of late. My laptop broke, I borrowed one and that broke. I have an old system rigged up just till my new laptop arrives. I cannot get on any internet site- my emails, FB, newspapers, bank account. But I can get on SR and that is all that matters. A sign I think

to you all for your kindness.

Forgive me for being overly self indulgent today. I hope you are all well.
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Old 12-21-2014, 12:08 PM
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Howdy all.

RAL, I cannot add anything to what has been said, stay in the moment. And it's extremely alarming this stage in the game to have that urge. Makes you feel like a brand new person all over again, but almost worse. Glad you didn't drink.

Hi Courage, how are you doing up there with your husband out of town?

Napster, hope you are doing well. Did you ever figure out a meeting schedule that works for you?

gonzo, glad to hear you got through exams.

Hi to everyone else!

I am leaving shortly to meet with my sponsee, and I've been social... with people in the program. What?! This is so not me. lol I had considered switching home groups but the stars have aligned and shown me that I have a place there. Still zumba-ing and such, I'm limping today... we did about 5000 squats yesterday (ok, maybe it was 150, but really... after 20 does it matter any more?!) Keeping the family drama at bay for now.

Anyone have good Chanukah or Christmas plans (although Chanukah is about over now, huh?)? We are going to the movies, we do every year.

Everyone have a good day!
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Old 12-21-2014, 04:35 PM
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Hi all!

Ready, I'm glad you're back on more stable emotional ground. A relationship will bring those ups and downs -- now you recognize it and can talk yourself down -- or better yet, come here.

Tam, it's great to hear you're finding your spot in your home group again. Dynamics shift and you're growing -- that's a good thing.

Napster, how's it going for you? Holidays can be stressful -- please vent or lean on us if you're feeling stressed. We're here!

Gonzo -- are grades in?

Tazzle, where are you?

Dee, I hope you're feeling ok. Thanks always for being here.

I just got back from speaking at a meeting -- probably the biggest room I've ever spoken in, maybe 75 people. I think it went well -- the first few times I was a speaker, I'd get a reaction like, wow, that was depressing. Then it was, well, that was a depressing story, but kind of interesting. This time I didn't get the depressed reaction at all. I think it's because I spent a lot less time on my history, and more time on recovery. And I talked about ice cream

Otherwise, as far as being on my own, it's going well. My morning rituals work to get me started, I'm filling up my days making sure I have someone to talk to every day, and at night I can always get under the blankets, look at pictures of birds, and ... eat ice cream!

Whatever it takes --
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Old 12-21-2014, 05:33 PM
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Speaking of growth... Courage that is great!
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Old 12-22-2014, 12:39 AM
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That's really great courage- well done to you

Tam's right in that it does show growth. I'm proud of you. You have come so far and done so well despite some pretty difficult times. It's great you can share your experiences with others and am sure it will be a great source of help and strength to many at your meetings.

Is your husband home now? I hope your weekend alone went well and better than you anticipated. At least midwinter's day is over now and the days will start to get a little longer, albeit slowly

5000 squats Tam I nearly dropped my coffee when I read that then I read on. Still, 150 is very impressive Have you finished work for the holidays? What holidays do you get in the US?

Many places in the UK finished last Friday for 2 weeks. LAst Friday is traditionally called "Mad Friday" in England or "Black Eye Friday" in Scotland. Everyone goes out and the aim is to drink as much as possible and make a big a fool of yourself as possible. Well, perhaps that's not the intention but it usually happens. REading the weekend papers and seeing the photos just made me thankful it's not me anymore

Napster, Gonzo, Marria, Tazzle-I hope you are all ok.xx
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Old 12-22-2014, 06:38 AM
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Morning!

We don't get holiday time like that in the US (I know... France and Germany and Brazil are sounding better and better).

Most US companies give you an allotment of time to take at the beginning of the year and you take throughout the year. The average is two to three weeks and then you can usually earn more depending on the company you work for. A lot of companies have holidays off in between the big ones for nationally recognized holidays like Presidents Day and Martin Luther King Day. And then some companies will opt to close during this time of year for a few extra days. I work in finance, specifically credit cards, so if Visa and MasterCard are open, we are open. I get Christmas off and I'm working 8 to noon on Christmas Eve but that is it for this year.

Schools are closed though and my son is home, my partner took today and tomorrow odd to hang out with him, I had taken Thanksgiving to be with him. Although:... He is 14, he sleeps until 1. Lol

In the state of Florida, a judgement was made that it was unconstitutional to ban same sex marriage... A bunch of appeals were put in and as of Friday night, tossed out and couples can begin getting married on Jan 5. I say all of this, not for the quiz that you will all inevitably take one day on Florida law, but because I am getting married on Jan 14th. That is our anniversary and it will be 9 years this January. We figured why not marry on that date and we don't have to change our anniversary. Lol lazy.

Sorry. This post was totally about me. Well, and the U.S. Holiday policies.

How is everyone else doing? RAL, is Sam ready for Santa? Does he believe in Santa? Do they even do that there? Or do you have the 3 magi? Lol

Courage, hope you and your ice cream are well. Napster, how is Mrs N and the kiddos?

Hi Dee, gonzo, Alice and Marria! Hope you guys are faring well.
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Old 12-22-2014, 07:45 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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oh wow many congratulations on your forthcoming nuptials Tam So very pleased for you. I think same sex marriages only became legal in the UK earlier this year. A very good friend of mine is marrying her partner on NY Eve this year. Unfortuately I won't be able to go as so far away, Jr RAL etc but it's great couples of any sex are now enjoying the same rights.Are you having a big ceremony or just close friends/family? Do Tell us all

Don't worry about your posts being all about you. Most of mine recently have been all about me!!

yes we have santa here and he believes. It's such a small place kids of 10 etc still believe which is pretty remarkable!! So excited and counting the sleeps now
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Old 12-22-2014, 10:13 AM
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Nothing fancy, we are going to the courthouse with our son and signing a paper and then going to work. Oh the romance! But! We will go to dinner the next week and then, our son is going to visit a friend in another state for a few days, we are going to do a mini honeymoon then.

We are also thinking of taking a cruise for TG next year since we don't have family here.

That is remarkable that the kids still believe at 10!
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Old 12-22-2014, 05:47 PM
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Congratulations to you & your partner, Tam!



It's a huge & happy life event and I'm excited for you & your family!
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Old 12-22-2014, 05:52 PM
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That's wonderful Tam - congrats!

D
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Old 12-23-2014, 01:58 AM
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Congratulations Tam

Not sorted a meeting schedule that works - at the moment I'm being All About Mrs N rather than have any time away from family that is to do with Alcohol (which includes AA paradoxically enough).

Winter booze season is all done work wise, I'm working from home today and then off till the 30th, which will include a 3 day break to York with Mrs N for our anniversary, we didn't have a pot to wee in when we got married so we just drove off and rented a cottage for a couple of days in Devon so every year we have a little repeat trip away.

Not much time for family this year, Mrs N wanted Xmas Day at home just the 4 of us and then as we're running off early Boxing Day there's no time for a get together, bit of a shame but cuts down on the possibility of anyone falling out!
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Old 12-23-2014, 06:30 PM
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Have a wonderful break from work, Napster! I wish you & Mrs. N. and the kids a warm and safe Christmas.

And best wishes for health and security, peace and good will towards others to all my December friends! Tra la la la la, and etc.

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Old 12-23-2014, 07:43 PM
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Compliments of the Season guys - have a good one

D
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Old 12-24-2014, 04:40 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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Best wishes to all Merry Christmas to those that celebrate it, warm wishes for whatever you celebrate and happy holidays for all

Glad you got through the work stuff Napster-have a good break anniversary break. Bet the little ones are excited now! I have a very hyper 5 year old!!!

We are watching Santa on Norad tracker-he is in Fiji now
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Old 12-24-2014, 02:50 PM
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Have a wonderful day everyone

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Old 12-24-2014, 07:05 PM
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Aw Merry Christmas all!
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