wehav2day

V, thinking of you, hope you are feeling a bit better. ((((V)))))

Bachelorette party was funny, wedding was awesome! I don't remember most of it, lol. It's true what they say about your own wedding being a blur. I know I cried, my aunt cried, and people told us it was beautiful. My uncle taped it, so well get the chance to see it soon.

Will write more when not jet lagged.

venuscat

Hello wehav my love!! ♥

I checked out your wedding photos...commented too...your friend Jenny was awesome to post them. And she said it was a beautiful day, and she felt privileged to be there.

You both looked lovely....I love what you wore.
And the sun was shining.....how perfect.

I'm glad the wedding was videoed.
Can you see me smiling at you?
Just SO happy for you and J!!!

Massive love,

V xx

Oh ~ I am doing better.

SereneEdition

Hi all -

Poor internet, quick check in.

Wehav! Congrats on a fantastic wedding - thank you so much for sharing. I'm excited to check out your photos when I get faster wifi. I am so happy for you and your partner!

V - glad you are feeling better. What do you have planned this week?

Mel - how is Clark? I think you are already at 4 or 5 months now yes? Can you tell who he looks like at this point?

Dee - a big hug to you too.

News from me - I'm currently in Sicily with mom and sister. We have enjoyed a wonderful trip and we have waited 20 years to do it. Amalfi has been my favorite - Mel I think you picked a fantastic place for your honeymoon. I may copy you

In other news - my boy quit his job to come travel with me for the rest of the year. He joins me in 2 weeks. I am so so so excited!!!! Making plans has been a whirlwind of activity on top of travel, hence less posting here, but still thinking of you guys just as much.

SereneEdition

So happy that post actually went through!!!!

Hugs.

Dee74

Sounds like a great time SE

D

melissa6381

Se glad you're having a nice time- did you go to positano specifically? Glad your man is joining you on your travels you will make some amazing memories together.

Wehav- congrats on the wedding love. I seem to have been excluded from some sort of picture sharing email but would love to see them. Hope it was a spectacular event

Little man will be 4 months next Monday- he's got dads face and my eyes from what we can tell. He's a cranky pants today because his fist tooth is coming in but a very easy baby in general.

V- hi

Xo, M

wehav2day

V, thank you. I'm so glad you are feeling better! Time doesn't always heal, but it always helps.

Se, Sicily? That's where my family is from! Mazara del Vallo, from what I've heard. So cool your boy is joining you! What a trip of a lifetime.

Mel, happy almost 4 months Clark! You haven't missed any photo share. Just Facebook. If you want to be fb friends just pm me and I'll give you my real name. Which yes, is Sicilian. I didn't take my British partners name. We keep playing with mashups of our names, they are all hilariously awful!

venuscat

I have been quiet for the last couple of days...I needed to concentrate on myself I guess. I was better, then I got a whole lot worse. So I did something about it.

I went to see a wonderful social worker this morning. I was able to access this service free of charge through Centrelink ~ a govt agency here that offers unemployment benefits, as well as a huge range of services to help all Australians in need.

Anyway, she was wonderful. She did a lot more than listen, she discussed my entire situation in detail with me. I have an action plan going forward here, and I was able to get some very helpful feedback. And encouragement.

I also caught up with shopping and washing , and managed to organise some MASSIVE discounts on my internet, phone and electricity.

So, not exactly as exciting as some of the wonderful things you all have going on right now, but momentous nonetheless.

So glad you are having such a wonderful time Serene, and how awesome that "the boy" is joining you.

Poor little Clark. I know how hard teething can be for the little ones, and not an easy time for mum and dad either. I hope you are all managing to get some sleep there mel.

And sorry ~ I should have explained about wehav's wedding pics better.
The only reason I even do Facebook is to be in contact with friends overseas, and it was just so lovely to be able to see the happiness radiating from the pics of wehav's beautiful day.

I hope you are all nice and warm wherever you are...this is the first time in my life that I have been freezing in Melbourne. Coldest week of my life. Coldest weather we have had here since 1949.

So much love to my beautiful Februbuddies. ♥

Dee74

I'm really glad you found some real help Venus

D

venuscat

Thank you Dee ~ me too! ♥

wehav2day

Oh Venus, that's wonderful news!!! I'm so glad you are allowing yourself to be helped. Hopefully that will take a lot of the stress away. That's why a pay taxes, girl. So that we have safeguards when we need them.

SereneEdition

Hi everyone!

Venus, I'm really happy to hear that you were able to connect with someone who can help. Reaching out for help is a smart move. Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!

Mel - Teeth!?!! Poor Clark. Amazed at how quickly the time is flying! I really wanted to go to Positano, but my sister didn't - and she wears the pants in our relationship. So it means I MUST go back with the boy

Wehav - I have a soft spot in my heart for Sicilians I did an exchange their in high school and lost the contact info for my host family. Happily I was able to track them down and we had a lovely reunion after 20 days. No joke, within 5 mins of connecting, they wanted to feed me It's been the best part of my trip so far.

Travel is still going great. Currently traveling with my dad and his new wife in Switzerland. The 'boy' arrives in just 3 days, so it's been a flurry of activity. The one travel challenge has been staying in a hostel infested with bed bugs. It was disgusting. I killed 20 before I went to bed. Luckily I keep my personal belongings away from beds and I have plastic bags, and since the infestation was so bad, I was able to preventatively protect my stuff. However I did not sleep at all that night (nor sit down on anything) and it made for a very long next couple of days.

Ok, gotta run to dinner. hugs to all of you!!!!!!

Dee74

Good to hear from you SE.
Hope all the Febbies are doing ok

D

SereneEdition

Hi all -

I have some great news, and some bad news.

First the good news. My partner arrived, which makes me so happy. Even more so, the first night he proposed & I said yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently he has been wanting to do it for some time, and he really wanted to start building our lives together at the start of our trip. I couldn't be happier.

The not so good news. I drank unknowingly.

We had a celebratory dinner with my dad and his wife (who don't know that I am an alcoholic, but who still judge and treat my sister unfairly because she is an alcoholic despite 15 years of sobriety) and we had fondue. I did not know that fondue has alcohol, but I could taste it the moment I had the first bite.

Normally I would have spit it out and ordered something else. Unfortunately, there was no other food on the table besides the alcoholic dish (it was a special pre-ordered meal), and I could not come up with an excuse in the moment to not eat it that wouldn't dampen the event (IE have a headache and leave) nor out myself as an alcoholic, as my dad would know right away from being around my sister. I felt stuck. So I sucked it up and decided to slowly eat 5 pieces of fondue. I hated myself and it the whole time. But I still watched myself do it, and it disturbs me that I would make that choice.

I talked with my partner after dinner. It was helpful to talk it out, as I was able to bring my belief that I will die if I drink again front and center. This refocus is good, as traveling is affecting my sobriety routine and thus the degree to which I put energy into recovery. I also do not want my Dad or his wife to know that I am an alcoholic having seen the price that my sister has paid (they do not talk nor have a relationship)

At the same time, I am very upset that I knowingly ingested alcohol. Whether or not I 'wanted' it doesn't matter. Thankfully this episode did not induce any cravings.

I'm not sure if I'll reset my sobriety date. On one hand I like being black and white with ingesting alcohol - I feel safer with that clarity and being able to measure myself against that standard. On the other hand, I have worked damn hard at sobriety and resetting it would feel discouraging to me given the circumstances. So I decided to not decide for now and instead to wait a month to see how I am doing with sobriety then. My dad and his wife have left, so thankfully it is just my partner and myself now so the situations with alcohol will be much easier to navigate.

I hope you all are doing well in your sobriety. Thank you for being a safe place for me to share my ups and down and not feel like I'll be judged. Hugs!!!!!

SereneEdition

Hi all -

I have some great news, and some bad news.

First the good news. My partner arrived, which makes me so happy. Even more so, the first night he proposed & I said yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently he has been wanting to do it for some time, and he really wanted to start building our lives together at the start of our trip. I couldn't be happier.

The not so good news. I drank unknowingly.

We had a celebratory dinner with my dad and his wife (who don't know that I am an alcoholic, but who still judge and treat my sister unfairly because she is an alcoholic despite 15 years of sobriety) and we had fondue. I did not know that fondue has alcohol, but I could taste it the moment I had the first bite.

Normally I would have spit it out and ordered something else. Unfortunately, there was no other food on the table besides the alcoholic dish (it was a special pre-ordered meal), and I could not come up with an excuse in the moment to not eat it that wouldn't dampen the event (IE have a headache and leave) nor out myself as an alcoholic, as my dad would know right away from being around my sister. I felt stuck. So I sucked it up and decided to slowly eat 5 pieces of fondue. I hated myself and it the whole time. But I still watched myself do it, and it disturbs me that I would make that choice.

I talked with my partner after dinner. It was helpful to talk it out, as I was able to bring my belief that I will die if I drink again front and center. This refocus is good, as traveling is affecting my sobriety routine and thus the degree to which I put energy into recovery. I also do not want my Dad or his wife to know that I am an alcoholic having seen the price that my sister has paid (they do not talk nor have a relationship)

At the same time, I am very upset that I knowingly ingested alcohol. Whether or not I 'wanted' it doesn't matter. Thankfully this episode did not induce any cravings.

I'm not sure if I'll reset my sobriety date. On one hand I like being black and white with ingesting alcohol - I feel safer with that clarity and being able to measure myself against that standard. On the other hand, I have worked damn hard at sobriety and resetting it would feel discouraging to me given the circumstances. So I decided to not decide for now and instead to wait a month to see how I am doing with sobriety then. My dad and his wife have left, so thankfully it is just my partner and myself now so the situations with alcohol will be much easier to navigate.

I hope you all are doing well in your sobriety. Thank you for being a safe place for me to share my ups and down and not feel like I'll be judged. Would love to hear from you if you're around

Dee74

Congratulations SE

With the fondue I think it's one of those to thine self be true things.
The important thing is it didn't awaken the beast.

It might be worth considering a plan for those times when the meal is not to your liking.

I had a similar situation with a pie dish, and I simply said alcohol affects me badly and I prefer not to ingest it.

it was a little awkward but far less awkward than me reverting to my old self would be.

D

venuscat

Darling Serene ~

venuscat

Serene ~ I guess it would be pretty hard if my family didn't know I am in recovery.
And feeling like you do with regards to the way your dad treats your sister, I can understand you not being comfortable putting it out there. So, I think what Dee said is spot on. If you ever find yourself in this situation again, saying that alcohol disagrees with you, or upsets your stomach is just fine.

As far as resetting your date, well, you didn't drink.
And although I do not agree with it, a lot of people here talk about using alcohol in food. It's a big no for me, but that's me.

As Dee said, you didn't awaken the beast.
And it lead to a very honest and important discussion with your fiance. (I don't have to call him 'the boy' anymore! )
So maybe this happened for some very good reasons ~ and perhaps down the line you may consider having a conversation with your dad. Or not. Your call.

You are doing incredibly well; and I really hope you will not let this get you down. Onwards my beautiful friend!! ♥

venuscat

(I hate typos...yes, I am a perfectionist, LOL, so 'led' not 'lead' in above post...).

SereneEdition

Thanks guys - for BOTH the support and the congrats!!!!! I love sharing both the good and the bad with you all.

This was a good wake up call to shore up the 'plan' particularly with family and a pending wedding. And I'm happy to say that 4 days have passed and no cravings.

Yes, thankfully my partner does know I am an alcoholic, and has known from early on. He doesn't really drink and is very supportive, but is limited in his knowledge and this was a good opportunity to talk about it.

My dad lives on the other side of the country and I see him only on occasions. I think if I saw him more frequently I would risk telling him, but right now we do better when I put effort into 'managing' the relationship to avoid triggering his insecurities. I don't think I know how to navigate this one yet, but in time I may.

Overall I'm feeling a lot better having shared it. It doesn't seem nearly as big of a demon now and I can start being more productive about what to do about it (plan!)

Ok, off to bed. Sweet dreams to all of you. ((((((hugs))))))))